Being Stared At!!

[Spod]

Perhaps I'm paranoid.... but wherever I am people stare at me - I mean really stare... I know I have this huge bump but they stare like they've never seen a pregnant woman before!! and some of the looks aren't 'ah look...she's pregnant' ones... some people seem quite irritted to see me and my bump out and about!! I was in Fance last week... and the staring there was even worse.... started to think I was making a social faux pas by being out in public with my bump... anyone else get this?

I must be lucky, but in 3 pregnancies, i can only recall being touched twice, one I didn't mind. One was by a co-worker who I rarely saw or spoke to so was a bit taken aback.

Re the staring, not really too aware of much, but do get paranoid when out with my 2 that people are judging me for having 3 in the 1st place, but especially so close together. But then that's just in my mind - they may not be, although I have a friend who was pg with her 3rd & someone came up to her & told her it was disgusting!

I'm constantly being told how big I am and it's driving me mad. I find fixing people with an icy stare and saying 'Really?' is quite effective.

i know wat u all mean about the touchy feely thing
yesterday was my birthday and i just wanted a bit of attention focused on me not the bump and i had everyone touchin my bump so in the end i was really annoyed and wound up wen one of my male friends came over and rubbed my belly while going ahhhhh so i grabbed his crotch sqeezed and sed "yes ahhhh now leave my belly alone or ull be fatherless for life"
felt a bit mean after but its so rude and extremely irritating never the less my friends dont touch my bump now
p.s i like the idea of the "...ate all the pies top"

spod - know just what you mean! When I was 7 months pg we moved house and I cleared out our junk room and it took me all day and I got really tired, but we had to move fast so it needed doing. Then we went shopping and when we got home I went to lift 2 light bags out of the car and DH told me not to and I nearly blew up at him!! I didn't mind people being concerned about my 'condition' but when they tell you authoritatively not to do something because it's bad for you, it just wound me up! After all, do they think you're not going to be careful? Whose baby is it after all? Sorry for ranting, but it REALLY did my head in!!

Every time we went to see my FIL & MIL, my FIL would always tell me to sit down. Never mind that I wanted to stretch my legs and was more comfortable standing - I HAD to sit down because of my condition!!! I really felt like telling him that being too fat was a condition too and he should sit down permanently!!!

And for all the people who are told they're really big - just remember that a lot of women worry they're too small. At 8 months everyone kept telling me I looked about 5/6 months instead, and it was really worrying me because I couldn't see how the baby could be big enough in my small bump. Just ask them how small they expect you to be with a BABY in there?

Ok, got to end rant NOW!!!

What about all the annoying remarks like 'Are you still here?' and 'Haven't you had that baby yet?' I used to say, 'Yes I gave birth last Friday, this bump is an optical illusion.'

On my last day at work an Italian lady actually kissed my bump, eek - i put it down to meditteranean over-enthusiasm. I hated the fact that no one could really tell i was pregnant until really near the end - but equally sure i'd have been fed up if everyone kept commenting I was huge - no win?

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ahh but Twiglett, do you smile with that twinkle in your eye? Or do you look away as if ashamed? Or just stare with a blank expression.

Makes all the differnece......

BR

When I was pregnant and realy huge, DH and I was out to our local pub. When DH was in the loo another bloke said to him, "Is your wife due soon", DH replied "Oh no it's a long time yet, but we're expecting twins",the bloke replied,"Oh good, only my wife has just found out she's pregnant and I was afraid they all got that big".

Cheeky git!

It's lucky he didn't tell me till we left I'd have gone over and sat on him !!!

Maybe they are all thinking how nice it is that you are pregnant. Honestly - some Pg people moan that no one looks at athem some that they do. Maybe they arent looking at you but are gazing into space trying to think what to have for tea.

When I was pg, I temped at a college. I got the following comment; 'She's had a large dinner', which REALLY upset me at the time (hormones). People are so rude.

i didnt really show in my pregnancies till the last month with both my 2. at 6months, one of my friend just said 'your just putting on weight your not pregnant at all' i just laughed at him. i loved the fact i wasnt all that big as i didnt buy maternity clothes, didnt get too much attention (except when i was throwing up in bushes due to morning sickness), but i also missed the fact that i didnt get all the usual comments of how wonderful women look when pregnant, the question of when u're due etc etc. and just to add to the point, my 2nd dd was 9ln at birth so wasnt a small baby, she totally shocked my midwife when she found out her weight, she had estimated about 6-7lb as i had a fairly small bump.

Worse than being stared at is....having your belly not touched, but wobbled! People whom I feel are just acquaintances will grab my belly, rub it and go... 'oooh its not very hard is it'? I was only 6 months at the time and I already felt like a hippo but its amazing what insults you can take when your pregnant. Yesterday my dad came round and compared me walking down the stairs to a herd of elephants and later on...a beached whale. An auntie whom I rarely speak to told me 2 months ago that i had put on alot of weight in this pregnancy and how was I planning to get rid of it. I really do think that seeing a contented pregnant woman brings out the most spiteful side of people. So at least its just staring that you have to put up with.

Codsy, take your point - but COMMENTS are out of order, if you ask me!

Just been told by a friend - or your bump is not really that big - but you are very wide!!! Childless friend of course. Nice to know I am putting on weight on all the WRONG places... GRRR

I bet some people TTc would love any comment at all.

I think you are very sensitive about your body when pg - i remember letting rip at a male friend when he made some comment about my bust, also there isnt much else to talk about during pregnancies and I find myself talking about pregnant friends' bumps even tho i hated it myself - I think its an ice breaker.

so the two things combined are a bad combination.

Not quite being stared at, but I couldn't get over, when pg, how people thought it was O.K. to touch my stomach. One example, is when pg with dd1, I was sat in our car with window half open. Dh outside talking to a man I'd met once, briefly, before and he leant his arm in to give my belly a rub!!! He didn't acknowledge me and I was too surprised to move away fast enough!! Even if it was big with a baby inside, it was still Me and I wouldn't go up to him a rub his tummy without even looking at him!!!

Bekki - love the belly being wobbled!! and thats exactly what people do. I've had a few interesting comments over the past few days.... first from husbands auntie.... saying that if i dont exercise and watch my weight then I'm asking for trouble after the birth.....bringing it on myself....so understanding in the circumstances i thought given i have spinal problems and spent the year post pregnancy in rehab/physio...witch. And a cracker from an 18 yr old eton boy whom my husband was playing cricket against... he asked when i was due, was i enjoying it etc... then said 'well i've heard that it not as bad as people make out anyway'... mmmm p* off you twat!

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I do think a lot of it is tied in with how you feel about your body overall. I've spent most of my life feeling very self-conscious about my belly and figure in general; in fact I'd only realised I was actually perfectly OK, quite small in some bits in fact, a year or so before I got pg, so being preg triggered a lot of discomfort (very much to my surprise, I have to say!).

I got the boobs comment too, as in 'oh, they're big'. Which was particularly absurd as I'm a DD when non-preg!

Twiglett,

What an interesting thread - its given me a couple of giggles!

I have been known to stare at pregnant women - its curiousity...I am usually wondering things like is it their 1st / 2nd / 3rd...how far gone are they...aren't they lucky etc. I have also been known to look away without smiling when caught in the act of staring. But that was because I felt self conscious and guilty about staring - not because I was thinking small minded mean thoughts.

Worse are the comments AFTER you have had the baby. 5 days after DS was born my best friend came round with her sister to visit. When I opened the door the sister (childless) took one look at me and said, "I thought you had had the baby!". I nearly shut the door in her face. Cow!