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Original poster

First scan and taking 5year old with me

27 replies

caz05 · 17/11/2010 12:11

We have our first scan tomorrow and am planning on taking our 5 year old son with us. He seems really keen to go and I wont to get him invloved so he doesnt feel left out. As anyone else taken their children into a scan with them? What are your views on this?

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MollysChambers · 17/11/2010 12:27

I understand why you want to do it but tbh, knowing several people who have had really bad news at their first scans (mmc and foetal abnormalities), I wouldn't do it. Sorry.

Good luck tomorrow.

Showaddywaddy · 17/11/2010 12:28

Have you checked with the hospital? Most won't allow children in.

Tidey · 17/11/2010 12:33

At my local hospital, they don't let anyone else but the mother's partner into the 12 and 20 weeks scans. If you book another scan at 23 weeks + to find out the sex, you're allowed to bring other children, family etc.

I agree with MollysChamber, I know it's not something you want to think about, but if the worst was to happen and you got some bad news, your son shouldn't be there.

Good luck and best wishes.

japhrimel · 17/11/2010 12:43

Sounds like a bad idea.

The hospital policy may mean he can't come in the room - my hospital is one companion only, no children - so your OH may have to wait outside with him or he could be a distraction or it could be non-comprehensible for him (NHS sonographers often won't explain much anyway). And if you did get bad news, you really won't want him there.

MakemineaGandT · 17/11/2010 12:45

The scan isn't just to wave at the cute little baby.....! Not an appropriate place for a 5 year old in my opinion. What's wrong with just showing him the scan pic afterwards? To be honest I wouldn't have mentioned the pregnancy to him AT ALL until after the scan and after knowing all was ok......

Original poster
caz05 · 17/11/2010 12:49

Ok thanks ladies. I think I will think twice about taking him and will also check out the hospital policy as that could make my decission easier anyway.

OP posts:
Loopymumsy · 17/11/2010 14:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expectingno3 · 17/11/2010 14:32

I posted a similar thread some time ago as to whether to take my 5 and 7 yr olds to 12 week scan. I was strongly advised not to - Am really looking forward to taking them to the 20 week scan next week though! They know I'm pregant, and I'd have to explain if anything went wrong, regardless of taking them to the scan or not.
Someone suggested having the 12 week scan so you're sure everything is ok, then paying for a private scan if you really wanted you ds to see the baby. All the best

littlewish · 17/11/2010 14:40

Don't want to scare you but I found out our baby had died at our 20 week scan. Don't take children to any scan.

ICantFindAFreeNickName · 17/11/2010 14:46

I took my DS age 6 to my scan, not the first one though. MY DP stayed outside with him while I had my initial scan done, then they both came in. The staff (NHS) were great and pointed out all the bits of the baby to him. He was entralled for about 30 seconds, then asked if he go outside to play on his DS!

Crazycatlady · 17/11/2010 14:58

I can see why you want to take him but I'd probably leave him with a friend or relative to be honest. Having been through the whole awful scenario of receiving terrible news at a scan, with DD in tow, it was very distressing for her to see us so upset.

To be honest, all the waiting around isn't the greatest fun for them, and then they have to sit still and be quiet in the scan room. Not easy!

tingelingle · 17/11/2010 15:08

My 2 yo has been to all my scans, including the 12 week one where we discovered it was twins (and so was exposed to some rather 'developed' language from me). She couldn't care less and was rather disappointed that the 'special TV' didn't show Peppa Pig.

My hospital has never had a problem with her attending but I do make sure I bring plenty to entertain plus long lasting snacks. I prefer her to be there and childcare isn't that easy to arrange for me. But actually, I want her to be part of it and understand about the hospital where mummy will have the baby twins.

pinkyp · 17/11/2010 15:33

i took my little boy to a private scan i had about 16 weeks to find out the sex, i would advise this - although he got bored after a few mins. I wouldnt take him to the nhs ones as there more to check everything is ok

sh77 · 17/11/2010 15:45

I think it is good that you want to get your child involved, but I agree with previous posters about it being pointless/inappropriate. The scan looks so abstract that he won't grasp what is on the screen. My MIL didn't understand the scan pic despite me pointing out all the bits! You can make him feel more involved in other child-friendly ways - eg when your bump grows, when baby starts kicking.

Good luck with scan.

Debzk · 17/11/2010 15:53

I took my 4 year old to my first scan but I took my mum too (DH couldn't make it) and told her to leave the room with DD immediately if there was anything wrong. I hadn't told DD why exactly we were going to hospital so I knew that my mum could take her out without needing to tell her too much. This might be a bit more difficult tho if you have told your DC that you are going to see the baby in mummy's tummy. Thankfully, all was fine and I am glad DD was there because her little face was a picture when she saw the baby on the screen.

lucielooo · 17/11/2010 16:08

so sorry to hear that littlewish - can only imagine how painful that was x

PGWomble · 17/11/2010 16:45

So sad to read your post Littlewish Sad

I think that there's a point to be made around the 20 week scan and the fact that it takes quite a bit of time and concentration on the part of the sonographer given the sheer number of tests they are completing, hence many hospitals discouraging children attending. I wouldn't be too happy if I had a child distracting me when having to complete my job. I realise some children are little angels though and will keep quiet, and note that when I actually have a child I may feel differently...Wink

KTDace · 17/11/2010 16:49

I took my 3YO to my scans, the baby was found to have died on the 3rd scan. The hospital were fabulous with DD, they got some toys and took her to a different room so that they could discuss the options with us and also to give us time to let it sink in.

I had no choice but to take her and even though the news was bad it was ok.

KTDace · 17/11/2010 16:49

she had no idea that i was pregnant though

WorkInProgress · 17/11/2010 17:00

So sorry to hear that Loopymumsy and littlewish. Hope you are both doing OK.

lljkk · 17/11/2010 17:17

I took DC to some scans. Controlling their behaviour during long waiting periods was more of an issue than whether I might get bad news (later I went to scans by myself without DH, too).

tbh, I think it would be helpful to have a well-behaved and healthy child with me if I did get bad news. For me that would help keep me from dwelling on the sad bits and to remember the good things in my life.

lucy101 · 17/11/2010 17:48

I had the very worst experience where something very, very wrong was discovered at a scan.

I needed all my strength and concentration to deal with all the different doctors I needed to see straight away, to get the referrals I needed, to ask the right questions. It took the rest of the day and having a child there would have made things much worse.

It isn't a case as one poster said of "They know I'm pregant, and I'd have to explain if anything went wrong, regardless of taking them to the scan or not". When you are struggling to understand what is actually happening (and it isn't always clearcut, even for the doctors) you need to focus on that and having a child there would make things a lot, lot worse and be very distressing for them.

BathesInAssesMilk · 17/11/2010 18:00

Spare a thought for those waiting for their scans, too. The ones who are anxious because they think they're miscarrying, or know they've miscarried and need it confirmed.

I guess some women might see children in the waiting room as light relief, but I didn't.

I don't think it's an appropriate place for a child, basically, although I understand that sometimes it can't be avoided.

Ghoulysses · 17/11/2010 18:02

My second scan was a couple of weeks ago and I did contemplate taking DD, 5. However, I was put off by a good friend who took along her DD and found the situation very stressful. There was a long wait while they checked out the baby because something appeared to be wrong. Thankfully he is now a healthy 1 y.o. but it was difficult trying to meet the needs of the older child there too while being slightly panicked by the need to wait on things being checked out.

LoopyLoops · 17/11/2010 18:15

When I had the scan that showed that DTD1 had died (32 weeks) I couldn't even bear the fact that my husband was there and upset too. I can't imagine what it would have felt like to have to divert the attention of a small child too. Please think very carefully, scans are not entertainment.