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Perfect Pregnancy

28 replies

Spoo · 18/09/2005 15:11

Don't you find those women that have 'wonderful' pregnancies a bit irritating. I am pregnant with my Second and not looking forward to it one bit. My first wasn't horrific but it wasn't a walk in the park that some mums to be lead you to beleive. A friend of mine believes the whole thing is a breeze and that bad pregnancies are a result of a negative attitude towards being pregnant. She says that you just have to pretend you are not pregnant and it will be fine. She came over last night, perfectly made up in a lovely outfit. I was in my normal evening relax wear - no make up and feeling every bit unglamorous. (NOte I had spent the previous night and day with my currently very grumpy 7mnth DS) Is it only me that finds this all irritating?

OP posts:
RedZuleika · 18/09/2005 17:13

I think you should have been lying in wait for her with a studded club...

novadandypowder · 18/09/2005 17:15

I'm with you Spoo.

My friend breezed through her pg and I thought I'd do the same but I hated the first 28wks (am now 33wks and coming round to the idea).

I hate it when people (breezy friend included) have no concept of how shitty you can feel - I'd love to have pretended I wasn't pg but it's hard to do that when you're being sick 6 times a day, and have feet and hands the size of a giants.

It's only the fact that I want two kids that will make me go through pg again, and even then I'm not looking forward to it.

expatinscotland · 18/09/2005 17:16

Um, right, does pretending to not be pregnant REALLY prevent conditions such as gestational diabetes, pregnancy-induced hypertension and pre-eclampsia? Don't think so. I'd tell her that the next time she says such a silly thing.

RedZuleika · 18/09/2005 17:32

Or spd and an inability to walk...

Twiglett · 18/09/2005 17:35

what about retinal hemmorhage and pregnancy-induced asthma .. yes you're right I should've pretended I wasn't pregnant both times that would've been fine then

studded club sounds good Red

flutterbee · 18/09/2005 17:43

At least it's only your friend annoying you. My mum has had 7 children and she continues to tell me how much she enjoyed being preggers (I would have never guessed)whenever I have a moan she spouts off about how you should enjoy it and try to ignore the unbelivably painful SPD I have developed. Oh and she doesn't believe in morning sickness either says its all in the mind.!!!! However having said all of that she has been the most wonderfull support to me, and to prove it in the next 2 weeks I shall be moving 200 miles to be nearer her when the baby is born. :0)

expatinscotland · 18/09/2005 17:47

How long has it been since she had her last, flutter, cuz she's certainly forgotten.

GeorginaA · 18/09/2005 17:51

Well during my second pregnancy I got morning sickness, fainting, obstetric cholestasis and a chickenpox scare - if only someone had told me it was all in my mind

I reckon it's the body's way of preparing you for the birth - if you've had a shit pregnancy all that pain bit at the end is rather a relief because at least you know the pregnancy bit is at an end and you get to start feeling human again very soon (well at least until the sleep deprivation kicks in )

RedZuleika · 18/09/2005 18:44

I've already had the sleep deprivation - as my pelvis hurts so much when I turn over in bed...

My MIL has told me several times that she was climbing mountains at six months pregnant. Whoop-de-doo.

Now where DID I put that club...

Miaou · 18/09/2005 18:56

I'm one of those who have perfect pregnancies [bluck] - but I like to think I don't go on about it as I know just how horrible it can be. In fact I tend to be quite apologetic about it.

Miaou · 18/09/2005 18:58

bluck??? that should have said blush!!

GeorginaA · 18/09/2005 19:00

Lol... I quite liked the word bluck - sort of a cross between a blush and a ack/ick sort of noise

aloha · 18/09/2005 19:14

I never had morning sickness, never felt remotely ill, just got very fat and in my first pregnancy, had serious placenta praevia. Your friend is talking such obvious bollocks I hardly know where to start.
But there's loads of this stuff about. Labour only hurts because you are tense/anyone can give birth vaginally/morning sickness is because you are ambivalent about being pregnant/babies don't sleep because you are too tense
All it means is I wasn't sick/had a straightforward labour/a baby who slept from day one. That is absolutely all.
If I were you I'd be hoping she has a pig of a labour, I really would.

zippy539 · 18/09/2005 19:52

agree with aloha. IMO what goes around comes around. Odds on she'll have a horrible labour or an awful next pregnancy. That'll teach her

Wallace · 18/09/2005 20:22

I really enjoyed being pregnant....with rose-tinted hindsight

Seriously though, your friend thinks pretending not to be pregnant is not having a negative attitude towards being pregnant? IYSWIM I'd rather feel I was pregnant including the crap bits, than swan around pretending I'm not pregnant!

expatinscotland · 18/09/2005 20:25

There's no way I can fool my pin-filled right knee that I am not pregnant - it feels that extra stone I've put on with every step, and lets me know it does, too.

ei23mummy · 18/09/2005 22:02

hey if your friend is right then can i pretend that my recurring water infections/headaches/ sore hipsetc are not real and maybe ill be able to fit back into my jeans etc as if i werent forced to wear mat clothes!!! that would be great!! tell her she should market this theory as an affirmation-like product!! if morning sickness is a way to tell people that i didnt really wanna be pg then i would have rather have just voiced my opinions!! btw i was trying v hard to get pg so i was sooooooooooooooooooooo over the moon at finding a bfp that my morning sickness was so obviously due to my pg and not to any negativity toward my pg/baby (im 26 weeks pg now and other than the amazing movements im feelin this pg has certainly NOT been a breeze!!)

tabitha · 18/09/2005 22:07

I had very 'easy' pregnancies and loved being pregnant (don't hate me, please) but I do realise that this was pure luck rather than anything I did. Think your friend is being just a tad thoughtless.

piglit · 19/09/2005 09:12

I hate being pg too. I'm really struggling with this one (my second) and the fact that I have an 11 month old doesn't help. I've struggled from the start, had shocking spd, rotten heartburn, been more tired than I thought possible. I never even bloomed and I'm now 30 weeks. I think I'm crap at being pg and giving birth and I'm only doing this because I'd love 2 children. Dh has promised me he'll get the snip once db arrives. Of course, the problem is that if you utter these thoughts out loud people tell you you're lucky to get pg and have babies. I know it's true and there are thousands of women who would go through this and worse for a db (including my 2 bfs) but I still find the whole thing really really hard. I'm full of admiration for women who have more than 2 children!

RedZuleika · 19/09/2005 11:39


No - I hear the word, but it just doesn't resolve itself into anything meaningful...

motherinferior · 19/09/2005 11:47

Oh God, I am seething with hatred for your friend, I'm afraid.

In my second pregnancy my midwife sent me off to see a consultant as I was hating being pregnant so much and she clearly thought this was going to plunge me into PND as I'd already had depression in the past (the fact I'd had a child already and no PND didn't seem to register with her). I got, for some reason, an obstetrician - Arab woman, quite pleasant but she just lectured me on how I ought to cheer up and put on a bit of makeup, that male respondents to one survey had said there was nothing sexier than a pregnant woman (liars and/or perverts all, clearly), that breastfeeding would shift the baby weight instantly (I kept pointing out it hadn't, the first time) and that while I possibly had grounds for disliking having SPD, all in all women In This Country made far too much of a fuss about pregnancy and childbirth and should be more like their grandmothers.

So I told her my Indian grandmother committed suicide at the age of 24 with PND, and that shut her up

Flossam · 19/09/2005 11:48

I think you do forget. I hated being pregnant (harsh I know but I am being honest). Nothing was really 'wrong' but I had constant back pain from 13 weeks, terrible indegestion, and carried on working 12.5 hr days untill I was 35 weeks and would feel like I couldn't make it back on the way home. It wasn't a bad pregnancy but it wasn't a breeze. I've only just remembered all these facts though, since discussing with my friend about her current pregnancy. Puts me right off it does!

motherinferior · 19/09/2005 11:49

I haven't forgotten! I use my memories frequently to prevent inconvenient broody surges!

GeorginaA · 19/09/2005 12:55

LOL me too MI

piglit · 19/09/2005 14:30

If ever I post on here about feeling broody after db2 arrives please do shoot me.....

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