Gina Ford

[aichi]

Hi

I'm 39wks pregnant and I started to read Gina Ford's The New Contended little baby's book to get myself prepared for the new life with the baby.

There seen to be so much to remember and I'm totally confused of how to feed and sleep the baby...So many rules and routines.

Babies aren't machines and I have some doubts about her way of training the babies...

Can someone explain to me how her method works (in layman's term) and I'm interested to hear your experience?

Thanks

GF has cared for nearly, possibly more than, 1000 babies though. People don't make huge fusses about nannies being unqualified, or maternity nannies, as experience is often very important. GF's book is the product of many years of generalised experience.

I don't believe she advocates no cuddling, force feeding, controlled crying for birth or many of the other things people accuse her of. She does, quite rightly in my experience, point out that not all babies like to be cuddled constantly, that some babies do fuss themselves to sleep, that some babies find light and noise overstimulating etc so she tries to incorporate the things she's observed into a generalised routine for parents with timings which approximate to patterns that many babies fall into naturally anyway and provide a suggested routine with everything in it. I also think she's trying to stop parents falling into common traps which create self-perpetuating cycles like going for a very short time between feeds or rocking to sleep. These are habits parents very often want to break after a few months and her routine attempts to prevent that.

That said some babies will just never fit into it and whatever routine or approach you choose it needs to have your baby's best interests at heart.

''People don't make huge fusses about nannies being unqualified, or maternity nannies, as experience is often very important''

No but they may do if they started writing books claiming to have expert knowledge in this area with no empirical evidence to back any of it up.

So what's your view on Jo Frost then?

There are plenty of very valuable books written by non-experts in many fields of parenting, or by those whose academic background is in something else entirely.

The key, as with any book, is to bear that in mind and be aware of the author's expertise, which doesn't have to be in the form of academic qualifications. If it's intended as a manual, passing on the knowledge of someone who is very experienced then you don't need a PhD. Many 'baby' books are like it - the expert knowledge comes from years of work and observation.

With my 1st born, We really struggled. He never slept & was always hungry. Whenever I spoke to my health visitor about it she just said feed him on demand. Which would have been O.K except he wanted to feed 45 mins per hour then sleep for 15mins. We could not get him in any routine & he never slept through two consecutive nights until he was nearly 4!.

When baby no 2 arrived several years later I read GF from cover to cover. We did not follow her routines exactly (we tweaked it to suit our family a bit more) but we did follow the basic principles. Guess what DD was a dream baby. It was great to know exactly what time she would be asleep & when she would want feeding. She slept through the night from a very young age.

A lot of what GF says is common sense, but in my previous sleep deprived state some things just never occurred to me. I think it's really useful for people to have an idea of how long a baby shouls sleep for & how much they should be eating at each stage, especially if you don't have much of a support network around you to offer guidence.

Thats also the reason that I loved her weaning book. My health visitor told me my son would know when he was full up & stop eating. It turns out my son is never full up!

I think you just have to be realistic about any parenting book. Give it a try, but don't beat yourself up if it does not suit your baby.

The book that will suit the baby best is the one that suits the personality of the Mum IMO

I can't do routine, loved co sleeping with my young babies and think 5 minutes is 4 minutes 57 seconds too long.

Other Mums throw their hands up in horror if the family doesnt have a routine to keep everyone sane.

Find a book that feels right to you - can't belive how many there are

NightTime Parenting was my bible

5 minutes crying that is!

I think you have to be open minded - my DS1 would never have stuck to those routines, but when DS2 came along I gave it a go as DS1 was then only 20 months and I needed a routine to allow me to cope with both! I juggled the hours a bit to fit in with our lifestyle and it worked quite well. (I never found out what a draw sheet was though ...)

With DS1, Penelope Leach was my hero, I really recommend reading her books

I used it with my ds and it worked well for me.

Dont read the whole book tho-it will drive you insane!

Basically try and stick to the times she says to feed and nap and a set bedtime routine.

I would say for the first weeks/months dont bother with any kind of routine just enjoy your baby. Let baby eat, sleep etc when they want. As time goes by you'll probably start to naturally get into a routine.

I think if i tried the routine from day one i would have thrown the book out the window. I think its sad to try and force a newborn into such a strict routine.

I read GF when I was pregnant, and it all seemed so simple. I was sure that wit her helpful suggestions I wouldn't be one of those desperate sleep-deprived mothers. Then DD was born, and I discovered that it really wasn't as simple as all that.

I think eaglewings has it spot-on that it has to suit the personality of the mum. I'm a more go-with-the-flow type of person, and as it turns out that is more my style of parenting too. I couldn't just 'dip in' to the book or 'tweak' her routines either - at the time it felt more like a black and white success/failure.

Be open to how life-changing a baby arriving in your life is. Be prepared to put their needs first, especially when they are newborn. Remember that prior to their births babies have never known discomfort, hunger, cold etc. Remember how small their stomachs are, that frequent feeding is normal (and helps build your supply).

Order a copy of 'What Mothers do: Especially when it looks like nothing' by Naomi Stadlen to read after the baby comes. It's not a 'how-to' book at all, it just shares the experience of becoming a mother (lots of quotes, quite thoughtful, I found it reassuring).

If you are the type of person who loves routine and being in control GF (or some other routine-led book eg Baby Whisperer) may well suit you. But if it doesn't there are many, many ways to do things. Find what works for you and your baby, then develop a thick skin about what everyone else does!

Actually my two top tips for routine (as a non-routiney person) are: wake up at 7am every day; and once you hit 6-8 months and are on 3 meals a day you have a built-in routine.

When I read this I could see why people get so worked up by GF. She does come across as a bit patronising and I think people could take some of what she says the wrong way. However, I read it with an open mind and decided that some things did make sense and so I have decided to use the stuff which I think is a good idea, but not to be so rigid. I think it is like any book - just advice of what you could do, and will work for some and not others.

I think it is a bit of s shame that some people seem to be so anti her that they would completely disagree with all her advice. I must admit that I don't get annoyed with an authors opinion - it is just that. Take it or leave it :)

I think the reason why many are so anti her methods is due to the TV programme and te way it was edited. It did not show her in a great light and made more of her extreme methods than maybe is true.

I personally couldn't watch it as it made me so angry and upset, but with any TV show, you have to question what was left on the cutting room floor

Best advice I was ever given as a new Mum, was ignore all advice unless it feels really comfortable and right to you, and then take it and change it to make it suit you.

I don't think that Gina Ford ever did a TV programme - that was someone else, and Gina Ford actually criticised the methods on it for being too harsh.
here

sorry Gina

I used GF's routines with DS1 and plan to try the same with DS2 when he decides to make an appearance!

There is a lot of myth surrounding the leaving to cry etc but a careful reading of the book shows that such methods are not advocated in the book and cuddles and flexibility are certainly allowed! The book has been updated in line with the latest SIDS advice too.

The most important messages are starting the day at a regular time - 07:00 is recommended in the book and establishing the majority of feeds as daytime feeds but feeding at night (and indeed any other time) when needed. A 7 p.m. bedtime is also recommended. The idea of the routine is to anticipate baby's needs rather than restrict feeding or sleep.

I had no idea in the early days and found it useful to have some idea of when my baby was likely to need to have a nap, how many naps, how long to feed him for etc. We were not always 'on routine' but it was something to aim towards. I also used other books as well to advise on other aspects of looking after a new baby (Baby Whisperer, No Cry Sleep Solution etc).

We found DS didn't cry much because we were able to anticipate his needs rather than wait for him to cry for a feed, for example.

DS1 is now 2, wakes between 06:50 and 7:30 (or we wake him to start the day), was breastfed for 16 months and is generally a very relaxed child.

I don't think it works for everyone but it certainly worked for us. I know that I'm likely to be less rigid with it all this time because I'm more likely to recognise hunger cries etc earlier on but it really helped my confidence first time around.

Agree totally with firefrakkers, Gina Ford saved me from going insane and really helped me understand what my daughter needed to be a happy settled baby ie regular times to sleep in a quiet room, reglar times to eat so she never had to scream to be fed. I read somewhere that demand feeding results in demanding babies and to me that makes perfect sense. Its not for everyone and you def need to take from the book what works for you. I also wouldn't advocate worrying about a routine for the first 6 weeks or so, in this time you just go a day at a time!!!

Never read GF but at the NHS breastfeeding workshop I attended they actively didn't recommend GF as they said her desire to get baby sleeping through the night asap was detrimental to getting your supply sorted - night feeds are important when you're getting bf established.

I used Your Baby Week by Week as did most of my friends and I loved it - it never used the word "never", just made suggestions but acknowledged that a new, anxious, sleep deprived mum isn't always going to do what's 'best'!

Good luck!

I loved GF when I had DS and it worked well for us. I hadn't planned to have a routine but at 4 weeks I was a wreck and needed help!

The waking up at 7am part of the routine worked really well for us, it was the only part I took my board bandam really glad I did.

I attempted to be a routine mum with ds - that was in the days pre GF. He was having none of it. Three years later dd1 slotted neatly into the happy chaos. She would have happily been a GF baby I'd guess. She was and is a chilled wee thing. Dd2 is her brother all over again. But now I'm a co sleeping, ebf mummy to whom routine is whatever she wants that day. Works for us. I'd hate the 7am start thing too. I'm up getting ds up for school mon to fri at 6.30 and at weekends the older dcs get their own breakfast and I lie, cuddle and feed dd2 until 10. Bliss.

much preferred the baby whisperer personally.

I tried GF and drove myself and everyone else around me so crackers that my husband binned it. It's very prescriptive and some of the advice re sleeping isn't in line with current SIDS guidelines. I much preferred Baby Whisperer - much more gentle, all about getting into a rhythm rather than a routine and getting to know YOUR baby.

I read Gina & although I liked the idea of having the routine, I didn't like the idea of someone else dictating what that routine was... Then I read the Baby Whisperer and found out how we could get our own routine... Our "standard" day did end up looking almost identical to Gina's routine in the end but I think I learnt alot more about DD (e.g. How to spot that she would need to nap soon) working it out for myself & it also meant that I was more confident changing things about when we were out or she was poorly.
I did get her up at 7am every day, but I think BW says to do that too? She's 2 now & I still often have to wake her at 7!

As a first time mother of twins, I had no idea what to do with a baby. Someone gave me the GF book as a joke, because it seemed so strict. But it saved me! I used it like a guidebook and found it very easy to follow. I knew roughly when the babies where tired, hungry etc etc and I learnt that they would be better getting regular naps in the dark. They slept very well as babies, and were suprisingly easy to handle.

If you choose to follow a GF routine that's fine, but hide the book for at least a few weeks. A routine is not recommended (even by GF) for a tiny baby, and lots of people have found themselves getting very stressed by the notion that they are doing something wrong.

Like many others, I have found GF (and Baby Whisperer) useful to get an idea of routine, but if you stick to it like a bible you will find yourself going mental quickly.