A thread for everyone who is feeling rubbish today and wants to tell the world to just sod off

[jasmine51]

No I dont want a glass of orange juice unless you want to see it all over the bathroom.....I know the scan is only next week but I'm worried,ok....someone do the washing up because I just cant be arsed...put a duvet on the sofa please, I'm not going to work, I'm going to watch daytime tv and eat whatever I flippin well want...and no I'm not worried about having a backside the size of Wales....I'm pregnant and its not fun at the moment....ok!

He he, I feel better now!

And STOP TELLING ME TO RELAX!

....and breathe.

Stop telling me it will be over soon...I am not due till the end of Jan.

And yes I do still feel sick every effing day at 27 weeks, which means I DO NOT FEEL LIKE DOING THE SHOPPING!

Stop calling me FATTY. I'm not fat, I'm growing a new human being inside my own body. Whats your excuse?

In my last preganancy (and am starting to use it now in this one) "hello, growing someone!" was a frequently used phrase when I needed tea, sleep, general pampering. Its a bit harder this time cos my 15 month old DS doesn't get it!

...."I could tell you were pregnant" .....how? because I've put on weight? I look green? Got boobs like zepelins? Dont tell me its because I'm blooming...thats just face flush from the constipation....

me! 20 weeks with twins, feel massive today and EVERYTHING is soooooo uncomfortable, I am hot, have heartburn, feel sick but constantly hungry and am BLOODY SHATTERED!!!!!

I can hardly move for a pain in my side, can someone tell my darling baby to get off my liver!!

"Are you still here then??!!!!" Obviously, or I wouldn't be standing at the school gate!!! When I go into labour I am sure the village jungle drums will go into overdrive!

"Honey you don't look very attractive these days". I don't give a monkey about how you think I should look!, I am 39 weeks pregnant give me a break for God sake!

lol had a shit afternoon to top it all my dd19 months whos teething broke two pairs of my glasses but hey am pregnant am aloud to get upset over it ... this post really made me smile thanks mum2be xxx

Ack, definitely feeling rubbish today. My back aches and my ribs ache and if I lie down to try to soothe it then I feel incredibly sick.

I have a million things to do and never seem to get anywhere on any of it. And being told to relax is so pointless - these things need to be done, there are some things in life you can't just drop no matter how uncomfortable or tired you are.

I am 22 weeks and massive - haven't slept a night in 22 weeks- have restless legs most nights for 3-4 hours tonight also heartburn, just vomitted, and my beautiful freshly made bed, mattress enhancer and lovely comfy mattressmay as wel be a gutter I am so uncomfortable. My ridiculous zepplin tits are laying flaccid on my bump which is stretching again at the moment and my dh had a couple of beers tonight whichmakes the whole room smell like horrible stale yeast .... Can't even contemplate another 18 weeks of this - it's the insomnia it's really getting to me tonight... This pregnancy lark isn't as glamorous as people make out eh?? ;0)

I fell down the stairs earlier in the week, thankfully (??) landed slap bang on one knee rather than anywhere else but this week I've had one knee and ankle the size of my head and a cold from hell.... I would sell my soul for some sudafed right now - there's a sentance I never thought I'd say.

No dearest OH I am NOT cooking dinner and yes you ARE going to have to do the washing up (i.e. put all the stuff in that funny dishwashing machine) AGAIN, get over it. If I have my way I won't have any dinner and will go to bed at 8pm. And yes the dog does need walking and in my current state that would be your job so nerrrr...

Oh and I'm only 10 weeks...surely this can only get better

Out last night at the in-laws. 37 weeks so feeling a bit tired but just had expensive new haircut and treated myself to a facial. Today MIL called my hubby - answering machine accidentally recorded conversation - cue 5 minutes of how dreadfully tired I look , how swollen, how worried everyone is about me. Now feel like shit! Clearly need more facials....

Rant rant rant - feel like I've lost half my life, friends still going out and clubbing, getting drunk, staying out late and even though I have voluntarily given this up and they are TRYING I still blame them, myself, everyone else for me having to stay home ...

Cue a day of crying and DP being worried ... just want us to move into the new place and the new house so that I feel properly pregnant/homely, not in this limbo where I don't have my old life but don't have my new life yet.

I need friends who have at least a TINY inkling of what pregnancy means...

That actually helped ...

Feel miserable - have to wait another sodding 4 months until see baby and might have made huge mistake - what makes me think I can look after a baby? Or a toddler? Or a teenager, ffs? Massively insecure feelings all week, plus have grown out of most of my decent work clothes and DH had managed to do darks wash leaving out everything that still fits, and expected me to be pleased that he had followed instructions and done washing. I wanted you to wash my new bras and maternity jumper, not leave them out because they were delicate, you idiot man! Grrr!

I think I've just found the solution to all our anger..

It comes from Tescos, it's on offer at £1.99. It's called Lovetub, is a tub of chocolate sponge, chocolate sauce and chocolate chunks you microwave until gooey and the packaging contains no nutritional info and positively recommends eating it all yourself even though it's clearly enough for 2/3 people

I shall now not be moving from my spot on the sofa for a while!

Sounds lovely but in my eagerness to give this ball of cells its best chance I have given up caffeine. Including my well loved tea, and chocolate :(
Would probably end up decorating a floor or wall anyway....

NO I AINT HAD THE FARKING BABY YET.

dunno why im a cockney, haha

Dear husband,

no, I don't think you will still be playing Call of Duty online 'with' the boys on Friday nights once the baby is here. Also - if you were in bed watching tv with me I wouldn't feel better because I haven't actually been in bed watching TV all day I have put three lots of washing in, been out to buy beer, changed the bed, cleaned the kitchen and cleaned all the shit out of the bedroom... these are the things that you will have to be doing when I first come out of hospital and am breastfeeding our baby and bleeding all over the sheets. I shouldn't have to tell you what I want doing, you should be able to work it out for yourself. How about I just stop doing all these things between now and mid-December and just concentrate on getting some sleep?

and FFS, when I am sitting on the stairs flooded with hormones and crying, it would help if you just tried to comfort me somehow and let me know everything is ok and maybe indicate that you appreciate everything I do rather than acting like I am making a big fuss about nothing!

I am 35 weeks and I think most of this pregnancy has been pretty easy so please give me a break!

DuelingFanjo my sentiments entirely except replace playing COD with going to the effing pub.

Am grinning away to myself now, thanks!

YES, I am huge aren't I?

NO, she clearly is still in there, so NO I haven't sodding had her yet. YES I KNOW she is late....

YES I am very brave coming out of the house when I am overdue, what with all those spontaneous 2 minute labours that are so common these days. Oh, hang on, I may be about to have her right here, right now...

NO, darling darling partner that I love so very very much, NOTHING HAPPENED overnight whilst you kindly slept downstairs on the sofabed, snoring away like a good un, whilst I sat propped up in our previously shared bed with 20 pillows for hours listening to the boring World Service and wondering if I would ever sleep again...

Jeez, this feels good, I may be enjoying this moan too much.

If just one more fuckwit suggests that ginger might ease my sickness I will go on a killing rampage, so help me. I have the nausea form of hyperemesis which means I am racked with almost-vomiting (and some vomiting) 24-7 and have agonising stomach pains all the time due to my guts never getting a break. A gingernut ain't going to sort that out. Also, as the only thing that helps even a tiny bit is eating all the time (even though I don't fancy any food), I similarly do not appreciate arseholes doubting I've got it because I've not lost any weight, aaaarrrrgh

Tired? You think you're tired? So where's your 22 week bump and sodding cold? Oh, sorry you are tired from fitting lights and gardening while I only did all the cleaning, cooked dinner and entertained 22mo. My mistake.