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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Why do people want a third baby?

64 replies

pongonperdy · 03/11/2010 13:43

That didn't come out quite right. What I mean is what makes some people want to have three children rather than stopping at two. I have two, a girl and a boy. Everyone just assumes that I want to stop at two since I have one of each. To be honest we probably can't afford another baby but it's strange the way people assume. Do most people who have three, do so because they are trying for a boy or girl or have they always wanted three.

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sticklebrix · 15/03/2017 23:18

More relatives as adults (we have a small extended family).

Able to concentrate on one child whilst other two play

Wanted our family to be different to our families of origin (1 sib each)

Knew that I'd be a horribly sad empty nester and wanted to be ready to move on when they eventually leave home

Very sadly, know several people who have lost children. Both sibs making it to adulthood did not feel a given when we were having babies and we didn't want them ever to be alone in the world

Wanted time to enjoy having dc at home and extended that time by having dc3

Had a gut feeling that someone was still missing after dc2

Absolutely no regrets!

Ecureuil · 16/03/2017 06:43

Very sadly, know several people who have lost children. Both sibs making it to adulthood did not feel a given when we were having babies and we didn't want them ever to be alone in the world

This is part of my reasoning too although I usually don't tell people. My brother died and I'm now an 'only', and I find it really lonely and tough dealing with my sometimes difficult (divorced) parents. It's a lot of pressure. I want my children to have each other for support (I know that's never a guarantee, however many children I have!)

Popskipiekin · 16/03/2017 07:02

I know this is an old/reactivated thread... anyone with 3+ answer me how the oldest sibling took the arrival of yet another baby? We have two DC, 2.5 & 12 weeks, and DC1 has been so so good (so far!) with DC2 but I already feel my attention on him isn't what it should be (mainly at bedtime). I have the hankering for one more but feel sad when I think about the impact on both DCs, but particularly my first born. My mum helped me pack away all the newborn and 0-3 the other day - I started off meaning to chuck or charity the lot of it but we seem to have convinced each other to pack it all up again "for now..."!

Itsjustaphase2016 · 16/03/2017 07:10

Because 2 just seemed a bit safe and cliche!

BecUse our family didn't 'feel' complete after 2
Because I thought it would be nice for the children to have a proper little gang to play with.
I have all girls which is just what I bargained on!! They are all best friends, it's great

Itsjustaphase2016 · 16/03/2017 07:13

Oldest sibling was 3 and a half when new dc arrived. She took it...weirdly. She regressed, loads of tantrums and toilet accidents. But that was just a short phase and now she's brilliant, adores her baby and v helpful and sweet! The other dc was 20 months and barely noticed.

Okite · 16/03/2017 07:18

When we had the third, the oldest was 4 and absolutely took it in her stride. She was already used to sharing us, so no jealousy, she just loved her new baby and wanted to help as much as possible. They have always got on brilliantly and still do (youngest is now 6).

sticklebrix · 16/03/2017 08:25

Ecureuil

toomuchtimereadingthreads2016 · 16/03/2017 09:12

I'm expecting number two now after a lotttt of talking about timing with DH, and this is the last baby we can afford. However we would both ideally want to have at least one more, if not more! Can't believe I am still grumpy pregnant with DD2 and thinking about a third! Would mean a house move, car change and all kinds of things for us to have a third. Think it will be a head or heart debate come the time. Unless we win the lottery then we will have six lol

harleysmammy · 16/03/2017 15:59

Or maybe they just want more kids??

mollyminniemo · 16/03/2017 16:08

I love this thread. It is a question whirling around madly in my head constantly too!! I have DS-3 and DD-nearly 1. I ALWAYS said and felt I wanted 3. Yet my family think I am insane for wanting another. Someone at work when I returned asked what Id had and when I said "girl (after DS) she said "great, that's it, your done!". DH could definitely be persuaded, in his heart he would love another as has little family, but on days where both kids are going mad/screaming house down, I think we both question it. I love being pregnant, I love babies, I love the thought of 3 young kids and 3 older kids coming over for lunch as some have said. We said we'd think about it in a year and see what we feel. Arrgh!

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 16/03/2017 16:09

We have 3 because DS2 was a shock surprise 11 months after DD. Apparently the pill doesn't agree with me that said, I wouldn't change it for the world, and we managed financially/emotionally/practically because we had to. That sounds really awful, but I'm really glad we had our wee surprise, because the dynamic of the 3 of them together is lovely most of the time.

LorLorr2 · 16/03/2017 16:11

How annoying when people act like they know which gender or which set you 'must' want. Isn't gender becoming less important in today's world anyway?

Popskipiekin · 16/03/2017 21:30

Thanks for responses (and sorry for mini hijack!). That's good about the older ones being ok with the introduction of another small child - gives me hope/inspiration for having a 3rd!!
I too love this thread. The question of "to DC3 or not?" is always swilling around in my head. DH and I were set on 3 but know that 2 is the sensible number physically, mentally and financially. I am struggling with two little people - and I know I'd have far fewer babysitting options with 3 (grandparents would never take all 3 at once). But I do so love the idea of a gaggle. I have two boys and admit I'm rather in love with the idea of being surrounded by a squad of strapping lads all looking down on me and giving me bear hugs in my 50s

KirstyLaura · 16/03/2017 22:00

Aww thanks everyone for picking up this thread! I was hoping for MAYBE one reply from a pp.
This question is ever present in my head too! We need to save for another year before we can buy a house, then DH agrees we can have baby 3. My eldest will be 7, youngest 5 by then! That seems such a big age gap to me which pushes me to want baby 4 as well to bridge that gap a bit. We are financially okay, we have good flexible earning potential, but obviously 4 children vs 2 would be more expensive. And I really want my children to see the world. I almost think my dilemma at the moment is 2 children or 4!
P.s I LOVE the baby stage :)

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