The fourth child

[Phaedria]

I have 3 children, all boys 6,3 and 7 months. Cant help wanting a fourth - tho I dont mind if it s boy or girl.....anyone any advice on 4 ??

only have one myself but i used to work for a family with 6!

tbh after 3 i didn't think it made that much difference. you soon get used to it!

A friend of mine has 5 with roughly a year between them. She says once you have 2/3 children & are used to juggling another child doesn't make any difference.

They are the nicest children too they really entertain & look out for one another.

I have 4. what do you want to know?

I have 4, i would advise against it, but i am in the minority on here about that.

hi i also have 4 kids...
not much difference to having 3 if i'm honest

mind you does depend on the age gaps you have

I disagree there is a huge difference

like i said think it depends on the age gaps.
the age gap between my youngest 2 is 2o months and found that a bit demanding but otherwise ok.
finding it gets easier now they are gettign older

is is MUCh more work ? does it help with the 'middle child' syndrome ? what about cars ? ours all fit on the back seat of a mediumm sized car... 4th caesarian ?????? and Im 40 ! OK I must be completely mad .... but

I found having 3 a dawdle but 4 was much harder
although I think a lot of this was due to the age gaps.
Don't regret it though

I've got a Multipla, looks like a big box on wheels but we all fit in it
and I was 41 when the youngest was born.
I think I found it so much harder because my eldest two were teenagers when the youngest was born so I was experiencing 'teenage type traumas' with them at the same time as the normal hard work that a new baby/toddler brings.

Lou 33 - why would you advise against it ?

i agree with tabitha , it does depend on the age gaps,
my 4 are now 10, 7, 3 and 15months.
dd2 is due to start nursery in a few weeks and i know it will be nice to just spend some time alone with ds2.
hard but wouldnt be without any of them

I'm thinking about a fourth too - but ds is only six weeks so a way off yet! Anyone with a big gap between the first two and the second two? How did you cope?

It's too hard for me. Mine are 13, 8, 6 , 4. I get no privacy, peace, space, etc. House is constantly being wrecked, tons of laundry, bigger car, larger food/clothing bills etc. I have teenage and toddler tantrums going on at the same time, blah blah blah.

Someone better than me may take it all in their stride, i wasn't really cut out for motherhood, especially 4.

my dd1who is 10 is a great help with youngest.
dont ask or expect her to do alot but nice that she can hold ds2 and keep him amused if i am needed somewhere else

yes, i can agree with the washing, car, and food bill.
i am one of four so prob feels a bit more normal to me .
used to all the noise and stuff.
must admit would like more privacy. but found that even with one child you dont get much time on your own anyway

phaedria, I had a 4th CS at nearly 42 - older kids were 11, 8 and nearly 5. Having 4 is interesting, and fun before adolescence kicks in...mine are now 23, 20, 17 and 12 and I know exactly what lou means

I would say 4 does minimise the middle child syndrome. My eldest 2 are very close although they are all friends with each other, but now when 1 and 2 go off together, 3 still has 4. In fact, any pairing works to some extent. Maybe Lou you found it hard because your children are a little more spaced apart than mine. There is only less than 7 years between my eldest and youngest so I am not getting teenage and toddler tantrums together. By the time I get to the dreaded teenage years, the youngest will be a happy little schoolboy (hopefully!).

Yes you do need a larger car, but once bought you never look back. Ours is a 7 seater so there is always plenty of luggage space though not necessarily in the boot!

As for your age, well the risks in pg are higher, but I was 38 when I had my youngest and it doesn't seem old to me.

Hoorah for jan!

Mine have gaps of 4y8m, 23m and 27m, so not a huge gap between the last 3 really. I should have stuck to 1 or 2, silly me.

She was wise

I love having 4 and looking forward to 5th arriving next month. Ages 9,8,6 and 4. I do have a cleaner/ironing lady so my drudgery quotient is reduced somewhat. Wouldn't want to go back to having two - so much less fun. (Although do remind me I said that at 7.30pm when trying to get ds3 ready for bed).

Cleaner and ironing lady would help, yes.