Stuck away from home

[Rocklover]

I am due to be driving the 3 1/2 hour journey home today (need to make sure I get dd back for school tomorrow, there is an inset day today) and I'm stuck.

I feel very sick (as bloody usual) and panicky and I don't want to drive my 5 y/o on a long journey when I am feeling like this. I am so fed up with struggling with near constant nausea at 27 weeks.

I just don't feel like doing the journey at the moment, I am very upset and my anxiety is through the roof.

What's worse is that I have to do this journey again when I am 8 months gone as I have to get dd to her Dad's for Christmas.

I know I moan on here alot about this sort of thing, so sorry for repeating myself. Just needed to vent. :(

Is there anyone who can help you? Can her father not share some of the driving - and pick her up fro Christmas?

Can you have a couple of hours rest or sleep before you go, it can make all the difference, and you won't feel as sick if you are lying still!

If I sleep during the day I feel alot worse (was like that before pregnancy), so I dare not do that.

I am currently eating a sandwich to see if that will help. DD isn't well either, has a bad cough and is very tearful which won't help when I finally leave. Everything is so bloody difficult.

Belgo, her father doesn't drive and I can't ask him to pick her up at Christmas as the train station we need to use has decided to close down completely between Christmas Day and New Year. Flipping great timing or what?

But this year the circumstances are awkward for you - can he not come and see DD at your end (not necessarily your house!) to save you the journey.

Get it sorted asap so that you're not fretting.

Hope you feel better soon.

I'm tempted to tell you to get a doctor's note saying you cannot drive long distances, and then it's his responsibility for him to see his dd.

He wouldn't be happy to do that for many reasons aj. He lives in London and I live in rural Devon, he NEEDS the social whirl of London and would not be happy being down here as he will probably be having friends round.

I have come to accept the fact that I will not feel better until this baby is born, I am just so fed up with feeling ill constantly.

why on earth are you bending over backwards for him?

Becaus otherwise dd wouldn't see him very often. I managed to get him to meet me in my parents town this time so that I didn't have to do the extra journey down to London. That's still the 3 1/2 hr drive for me though.

you're a better mother then me, I would just tell him to sort himself out if he wanted to see his dd.

That's what my Mum says Belgo, maybe I should try it.

Still have the problem of how I'm going to drive today feeling so fecking pukey. Godammit!!!

Honestly, I would call him and tell him the truth - that you are actually too poorly to make the journey safely. Simple as that.

Christmas is another question, but there's no way I would have driven that far at 8m pg on my own, he is not being considerate at all is he? I am not sure why his 'need' to be in the social whirl of london counts for more than your and your baby's wellbeing? Not having a dig at you at all but he is being self centred and you are letting him! How about you find out where the nearest working train station will be to you over the Christmas period, and tell him he can pick her up from there - you can then do a nice short drive and he can make the effort to come and collect his daughter.

I think I may well have to do that Ginger, the long distance driving is proving impossible. I am so worried i am not going to be able to get home today.

You are TOO SICK to do this. Please tell him that. There is no way you should be putting yourself through this. If nothing else, driving when you feel so awful isn't safe.

Tell him you can't do this anymore until after the baby has arrived and is a suitable age. He needs to make the effort too.

I know I shouldn't be doing this drive when I feel so ill, luckily I have been staying with my parents this week whilst dd visited him. They have been lovely to me and helped by picking dd up from London for me, they would take me home if they could, but I need to get the car back.

I can stay another day, but then dd will miss school tomorrow and I would feel so guilty if she had to have the day off because of me.

I am going to sort something out for Christmas, I know I can't cope with this any more.

And now I'm bloody crying again because I feel like such a failure.

You are not a failure. You are ill. If your friend was telling you all this would you tell her she was a failure? Of course you wouldn't. You'd tell her she was amazing for trying so hard, but she needs to put herself first for a bit. Don't beat yourself up about this. I am in awe that you even managed to get in the car in the first place. If it were me I'd be at home sobbing on the bathroom floor. You are amazing.

No no please don't cry :( It's not your fault, nobody chooses 'morning' sickness do they, and it really is hideous.

Sorry I misread your original post and thought you were driving DD to see her Dad, so telling him you're too poorly to drive today won't help, will it. Could one of your parents travel with you today whilst the other one drives their own car, just so you are not alone?

Definitely say no to the Christmas journey, your Ex needs to step up on that one!

I hope you and your dd get home safely Rocklover.

Well I started out on my journey, but had to turn back because I felt too yucky to make it the whole way. I am pretty sure panicking made me feel worse, but I just couldn't do it.

I had to phone my dd's school and tell them she wouldn't be in tomorrow because I had been taken ill away from home. They were really lovely and understanding, but I still feel so very guilty. I am going to try and get a good meal inside me and an early night then leave tomorrow morning.

Thank you so much for all your support, I feel like I am falling to pieces at the moment. It doesn't help that I have suffered from extreme anxiety in the recent past and although I recovered it does come back when I am under pressure.

Believe it or not I haven't thrown up once this pregnancy, I just feel very sick pretty much every day so I feel a bit of a fraud complaining as some of you ladies have had it much worse than me.

Anyway, I'm rambling now, thanks again for your kind words, I don't know what I'd do without this site.

Oh bless you, I'm so sorry :( Hope you feel better and stronger in the morning, don't worry about your DD, one day of school really won't hurt her and I imagine it's all a nice treat for her really!

Thank you ginger, I am hoping I feel better tomorrow. Right now I still feel crap and now have a stomache ache to boot. God I love pregnancy....not!

I am still stuck at my parents, the panic has really overtaken now and has obviously made my nausea much, much worse.

I am trying to keep calm, but I am not sure how to deal with this to be honest. I feel like I am trapped and I will never get home.

What do your parents say Rocklover? Is it possible for one of them to drive with you, and then come back by train?

Mum has offered to drive my dd back tomorrow as she only has a half day at work, then I will only need to drive myself down.

I am not good at being a passenger (a throwback from my anxiety days, a control issue), so driving myself would still be better, but I wouldn't have responsibility for a 5 yr old.

Also, I tend to feel better at night, so if I feel up to it, I may drive this evening. I am starting to despair of ever getting home.

Hi Rocklover
How are you today? Have you made it home yet?

Yes I am at home at last, I left at about 7.30 last night and got home for nearly 11pm. It was a grim journey as I felt awful, but at least I got here.

I feel pretty yuck today and guilty because I had to keep dd off school again as she was so tired. Luckily dp is off work for the rest of the week, so it will be nice not to be on my own.

I thought I would feel better today as I have nothing to stress over...sadly not.

Thanks for your support Ginger.