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Original poster

Christmas baby v Christmas plans

36 replies

smoggii · 30/10/2010 22:55

So my Mum isn't very happy with me because i said i thought it best we don't have Christnas at my house this year... my due date is Dec 21st lol.

I was just wondering if i've made a bad choice, my Christmas plan is not to have a plan just see what happens and put 2 M&S turkey ready meals for me and DH in the freezer.

Is anyone else expecting a Christmas baby and if so are you still making plans which will just have to be wiped out should baby arrive?

I'm worried that i'll go 2 weeks over and Christmas will be miserable because i didn't have a proper Cristmas set up but at the same time i don't want to plan a big Christmas and then let everyone down when i go in to labour 4am Christmas morning.

BTW i'm the only family member who could feasibly have the family for Christmas both brothers and parents have small flats/bungalow.

Thanks

OP posts:

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ilovemountains · 30/10/2010 23:00

I'd be more worried that the baby arrives before Christmas, but you're still expected to be the Christmas host! You're doing the right thing - we also have no "proper" Christmas plans and I'm due on the 27th.

Eglu · 30/10/2010 23:02

I think you are doing the right thing. Even if others do the work you are not going to be in the mood for entertaining at all.

NothereisnobodylurkingbehindU · 30/10/2010 23:06

Your mum was expecting to come round for Christmas even if you were hugely pg, in labour or just delivered? Dear Lord! Ok - you are totally right to to make plans. If you're overdue you and dh can just have a lovely cuddly restful day. The rest of your family will just have to deal with that - selfish blighters!

NothereisnobodylurkingbehindU · 30/10/2010 23:06

Totally right not to make plans that should be

MrsTittleMouse · 30/10/2010 23:08

If you are overdue (which is quite likely - aren't more first babies born at 41 weeks than 40 weeks?), then you will not want to be hosting Christmas, huge and uncomfortable and needing all the rest that you can get. If you have a newborn, you will really not want to host!

Worst still, you could go into labour on Christmas Day, and have to skulk around upstairs contracting while everyone is feasting downstairs, and have everyone hanging on your every twinge, getting on your nerves.

Were you delivered by a stork or something, as your Mum seems to be completely ignorant of what it feels like to be pregnant or have a newborn?

HoneyIatethekidsdragon · 30/10/2010 23:11

I was due xmas day - last year, dd turned up the week before. We said right from the start we were getting M&S turkey and prepped veg and xmasing alone, but visitors welcome in the morning.

Your Mum can get used to not liking it. Things change when you have your own family so she had better get used to it now. If the rest of them HAVE to be together and don't want to do the work themselves they can book a restaurant.

We had a lovely xmas

ilovemountains · 30/10/2010 23:14

Ooh, I was also planning to get M&S turkey and prepped veg as well! Didn't realise this is the thing to do when you're due at Christmas - appears twice on this thread and once in my mind

kickarsequeenofthedamned · 30/10/2010 23:16

I was due on the 14th of december, so we arranged that we would spend xmas morning at home, xmas lunch and tea at MIL's house.

Ended up going 10 days overdue! Baby arrived just after 8:30 pm on xmas eve. Waited an eternity for paed to come and see us, got home early hours of the morning and had the best christmas ever :)

I got to sit cuddling my new baby while the other children opened prezzies and had lunch cooked for me while evryone insisted on me resting! I think it was mil's best xmas too! good luck :)

Giddyup · 30/10/2010 23:23

I had DS on December the 20th and was released from hospital on Christmas eve. We stuck to our original plan of driving to my Mums for Christmas eve and day, then shipping ourselves of to ExMILs for a couple of days. When I think back it was rubbish and stressful, we should have gone home and hung out with our tiny baby.

I am due to give birth to DC2 on Monday and we have told all concerned to count us out of Christmas this year! DS will be with his Dad and DP works away up to 6 days a week. We are going to eat delicious food, lounge about with our baby, sleep, have a couple of drinks maybe (if feasible with BF by then) and maybe even have some sex.

We have told all our families and friends that they are welcome to come and spend the evening with us and have buffet etc.

kickarsequeenofthedamned · 30/10/2010 23:31

Giddyup, I'm guessing that your ds was your 1st and you are right that it makes a difference :)

My MIL did say that if for any reason we changed our minds about coming she would take the other children for the day anyway and would deliver us xmas dinner while we hibernated at home:)

Hope you work out what you would feel most relaxed doing op :)

Giddyup · 30/10/2010 23:42

MIL sounds divine! yes he was my first. If my DS wasn't going to his Fathers this year we would do the whole family thing. But as he is we just want to grab a bit of relaxation time and it will be nice just to have my DDP to myself, he will be working again boxing day and DS will be back so I will go visiting then

CheeseandGherkins · 30/10/2010 23:42

I'm due on Dec 23rd, 4th baby. Having a big proper Christmas dinner here with all family welcome. I love Christmas though and always invite people here for dinner. Having people for another proper dinner on Boxing day too. I'm hoping she arrives before Christmas day as it will make it lovely but either way it will go ahead :)

tummytickler · 31/10/2010 00:09

Ds was born on 21st December. We went to my parents and stayed Christmas Eve until Boxing Day and it was great. They got up with dd1 (who was 18 months) and we had a lovely relaxing time, and got spoiled rotten.
If I was still pg I would have stayed at home, but parents would have popped over in the afternoon for a few hours.
You are doing the right thing if you feel it is right for you.
Maybe invite people over for a couple of hours in the evening, but with no Christmas meal, just snacks and drinks?

rudbekia · 31/10/2010 03:31

good lord! you've defo made the right choice for you, your other half and baby, should it arrive on time...and even if it doesn't then the LAST thing you need to be worrying about is sorting blummin Christmas for other people!

i'm due the 18th and we've already told the 'family' that Christmas for us is going to be spent alone in our house with either a new baby OR me being big and grumpy! we've planned a simple roast which can be cooked on the day by my DH - with help from me depending on the baby situation. we have said people are welcome to drop by but that they shouldn't expect to be fed or accommodated for hours at a time.

do what's right for you and don't be guilt-tripped into anything else.

rollerbaby · 31/10/2010 08:07

My baby is due TODAY and I've already told my family that I'm not going anywhere and that I'm expecting lots of help!!! Which my mum will not mind I know...

Priority is you and your baby, not their bloody lunch!

Put your foot down OP!

giantpurplepeopleeater · 31/10/2010 08:49

Am quite at your families reaction!!!

My first is due on Nov 25th - we have already decided that we are not making plans and will see how we go once LO is here. I'm guessing there is quite high risk I could go overdue, which could take me well into December meaning I have Baby who is a few days/ two weeks old by Xmas.

I think your right in what your doing, and to be honest I would have expected more from your family. Just because they don't have the room to sit everyone down for a full meal doesn't mean they couldn't do something (buffet?) for themselves on the day which you could attend if you felt up to it.

metromum · 31/10/2010 08:57

Is your Mum localish Smoggi? If so you could decide to pop and see them on the day, or she come to you for a drink if you're feeling up to it. You are totally right to not commit and just go with the flow. Good luck!

goodlifemummy · 31/10/2010 09:23

I'm due on the 19th - hubby cooking, but I am terrified of going overdue and missing the whole Christmas Eve/Day thing with my 5 year olds...I am doing lots of cooking in advance and freezing it, so all he has to do is bung the turkey, roasts and veg on. My mum is coming for the day, so she will also help out, and I can just chill or sleep...in theory!! Can't see myself lasting another 7 weeks to be honest, I'm bloody massive!!

sparklyrainbow · 31/10/2010 10:36

We're not intending on doing anything really, in laws are local so we may pop round for a bit if I'm up to it/not in labour.

First baby and due 30/12 so fully expecting to be massive and even more uncomfortable, although who knows, my mum was early with both me (38w) and my brother (36w)...

Hormones are in overdrive, this post has made me well up [hblush]

manchestermummy · 31/10/2010 10:43

I'm due a week tomorrow and have already said Christmas will be on our terms at our house (we already have a DD). There will be no cooking of huge Christmas meals for ungrateful MIL to whine over and state that it's a "mother's duty" to prepare food on Christmas day. There will be bo dragging DD away from presents to attend MIL's Christmas day horror which involves her getting upset with her sister for not spending 'enough' on presents and her mother being sick in a bin bag in the corner due to severe anxiety about eating (brought on my MIL's continuous fussing over every morsel). There will be no comsumption of sprouts that have been cooked for so long that they have turned brown. There will be no forcing DD into one of MIL's God-awful 'Christmas dress' purchases.

There will, if we want it, be pizza bunged in the oven, served with garlic bread. I will make the requisite mince pies for my parents and MIL, but they wiull be served after WE have eaten our lunch and therefore I will remain in my pjs all morning.

Simples.

kellestar · 31/10/2010 15:13

due on the 12th and still not sure what to do. We typically go to my mums for lunch and tea at MiL's. But have advised that we'll be there if we are up to it, but may not want to hang around etc. It's my parents first grandchild so I think they will be keen, but third for in laws. We live so close to our families that I think I'd rather go to them, than them come to us. At least we can run away, where as trying to ply family out the door can be hard.

mousymouse · 31/10/2010 15:26

dd was born a few days before christmas last year.
long before we told family (abroad) that we will not be able to sort passport out so will be staying at home.
was lovely relaxed christmas and my family joined us for a short time via skype which was sufficient :)

Miffster · 31/10/2010 15:46

Do what you want, prioritise your comfort and sanity. There will be other Christmases. First baby due on 14th December. Even though we're moving abroad in March, and this will be our last UK Christmas for some time, we have told both our families we will be staying in our own flat on our own at Christmas. Our families live in Yorkshire, Lancashire, Norfolk and Berkshire and we can't possibly go and see them all on trains like we normally do over the Christmas week.

Secretly, we prefer having Christmas on our own anyway, we've only done it twice during the eleven years we've been together and it has been fab not to have to trek everywhere and to eat/drink what we like when we like instead of mountains of other people's cold sprouts in Bisto.

Am going to meet up for a series of family lunches/dinners in December/late Nov instead, to hand over presents and be festive with various family members when they come to London. Those who can't come to London will just have to get presents posted and a call from us on the day.

I know first babies are often late but my mum had me at 36 weeks and my brother and sister at 38 and 39 weeks. So from mid November I am putting my foot down and staying in London where I live, not travelling around the UK to visit people. In 11 years nobody has ever come to see us, they have always expected us to travel hundreds and hundreds of miles in round trips to come to them. Okay we have a small flat so can't host family occasions. But this year, I think it is fair enough to ask family members to make an effort to come to us for a change if they want to see us round Christmastime.

As to what we will eat on the day, I expect it will be M&S. I hope Tiny arrives on time or a bit early as I think Christmas Day 4 milk coming in blues could be a bit fraught. I love cooking but can't see it happening if I am huge and uncomfortable or have just given birth. But what will be will be.

Good luck with whatever you decide

lilmamma · 31/10/2010 16:01

my dd is due christmas eve,and iam her birthing partner,along with her partner,as its her first baby,i will get everything in and see what happens.

DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2010 16:09

oooh - this thread is totally me!
I am due on 11th with my first child so if I were to go over by 2 weeks it will be a Christmas day baby.

I have had to change my plans (was tentatively going to my mums) because MIL is flying over for 3 weeks and she wants us to go to her - she'll be renting.

We've always said that we will try to be there but depending on what happens might not make it. Even if the baby is born a week before Christmas day I know I might not feel up to packing the baby and all its stuff up and heading out for a big family Christmas so we will play it by ear and I will get something in that DH can cook for us if we decide to stay at home.

One thing I don't want to happen is for this to become a big 'baby's first Christmas' type affair as the baby will be only days old and won't have a clue what time of year it is. I just want to chill out and take it easy with no fuss and bother so that I can just bond, learn about breastfeeding, sleep and relax.

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