Your best tips for the first week with new baby??

[BananaMuffin]

I'm currently 37+3 with my first baby... just wondering if the experienced mums out there have any particularly useful tips for the first couple of weeks/ things you wish people had told you? I am extremely excited but also don't know what to expect at all!

You have not "ruined your life"! It's true when they say "IT GETS BETTER!!!"

If you plan to bf eat loads of protein and drink LOADS of water - one extra little glass a day is not enough! These were my rules for myself and on the days I forgot, Dss were more hungry as I didn;t have as much milk.

Above all though, do what works for you and your baby!!!

Get used to leaking at all ends and being covered in fluids at all times - take an extra set of clothing for you as well as baby if you do go out and millions of muslins and babywipes (even if you aren't using them on baby's bottom they are incredibly handy at cleaning sick off clothing etc. - can't believe I lived life without them). You will smell a lovely combination of sour milk and baby poo ... makes me feel clucky everytime!

In all likelihood your boobs will be incredibly sore and nipples cracked at some point. Even if you take to breastfeeding easily, it is still often difficult at the start - it is very normal to find it difficult. It is a skill that needs to be learned - take advice whenever you can. Any combination of - bf, bottle, mixed - which works for you, is the right one.

Talk to people about burping - it is an art form!! It can take longer than the feeding itself - at least for me. It was often what kept us up at night - thankfully dh cracked it faster than me and he could get a good belch out of DD1 - an amazingly satisfying sound.

Having a text buddy helps enormously - I didn't discover mn early enough but thankfully had a good antenatal buddy - knowing someone else is up at 3am with sore boobs and a crying baby, feeling like you want to murder poor soundly sleeping DH, somehow makes it all a bit more doable.

... and as others say ENJOY it they come out of that beautiful stage so fast.

limit the influx of visitors and just lay back and enjoy

Gosh, I wish I had read this thread before DS was born!!

I would just reiterate not to expect too much and deal with the moment. The birth may not go quite how you expected and you may feel like you've been run over by a bus.

Sleep deprivation is like torture - be proud of yourself for going through it and don't worry if you are crying your eyes out at 3am, that's normal!

Try not to fight it, and accept the new way things are (I remember wailing to DH "But I don't WANT to get used to having no sleep" in a rather stroppy toddler kind of way )

Sometimes it takes a while to bond with your baby, don't worry you will soon love them to pieces and it doesn't make you a bad mother. Love grows!

If you have trouble BFing get help from sources OTHER than NHS. If you don't manage to do it in the end, for whatever reason DON'T beat yourself up about it, your baby will still turn out totally fine - remember it is important for your baby that you are happy too!

It really can take HOURS to feed a baby. Literally. If people tell you your baby should have had enough after 30 mins, IGNORE THEM! (Best piece of advice I got from my SIL)

Also when DC cries again one hour after last feed, yes he / she really can be hungry again!

Get a good feeding cushion.

Get some open / large shoes to leave the hospital in. I couldn't get my feet into my boots when I came to leave!

Most of all be kind to yourself having a baby is hard work but also the best thing ever.

I am sooo broody now!

Just went through this thread, thank you everyone who's posted tips, I've got 4 and a half weeks left to go and have always felt more nervous about after the birth than birth itself, this has just put things into perspective for me. :)

My sister has 4 children. Her advice to me went like this: feed the baby, wind the baby, change the baby, feed the baby, wind the baby, change the baby, feed the baby, etc, etc. It's so repetitive you'll be a dab hand in no time.
Make sure you eat, even if you don't feel like it. Ignore anyone who tells you they're baby sleeps well if yours doesnt. And if you're lucky enough to have a baby that does, don't harp on about this to other bleary eyed mums who havent had a decent kip in as long as they can remember, they will want to slap you.
Learning to bf, and tender breasts when the milk came in, made it impossible to wear a bra. Another reason to limit visitors. I lay on the couch with my giant knockers out for the first week or so with my gorgeous new baby tucked in my dressing gown in just his nappy, it was like National Geographic round our house.
It'll go by in a flash, enjoy it. If you're not enjoying it, remember it'll go by in a flash!

More tips: I had a little note book next to thw breastfeeding chair to write down times of feeds and which breast I fed from last. Even though I am feeding on demand, it is helpful to see a pattern emerge and be able to tell the health visitor how often your baby is feeding. 8 weeks in, I now just feel my boobs to work out which one is fullest, but it helped me at first to write it down so I knew which side to feed DD from.

I am finding these very useful for nappy changes - these flannels are good for drying her afterwards as they are very soft and very small (so I don't have to wash a huge muslin towel for every nappy change). They also make good impromptu bibs / face flannels for her. www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0012IJBUE/ref=oss_product

That Lansinoh lotion: brilliant for your boobs, terrible for your clothes. Don't - as I did - apply to nips then don nice new maternity nightie and favourite cardigan... It leaves massive greasy stains on clothes. Sleeping bra and breast pads between the Lansinoh and the world.

This breastfeeding book is awesome:www.amazon.co.uk/Politics-Breastfeeding-When-Breasts-Business/dp/190517716X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1287858845&sr=8-1

fill the freezer with food that requires no prepping

First weeks with baby no.1 are a dream.
I loved it. I loved bf and found it very easy, as did both my DDs so I guess that was lucky. Agree with lots that's on here already, esp:-

• don't underestimate how tired you will be so plan nothing and esp don't plan anything where you have to be ready to leave the house at a set time for a good few weeks!
• only helpful visitors that you want to spend time with in your PJs.
• plenty of water if you are bf.
• plenty of healthy ready meals / quick dinners like stir fries,
• handy healthy snacks like fruit, low fat hoummous and raw veggies.
• I couldn't forget about the housework, clean freak that I am but I used my baby sling all the time and took both my DDs round the house with me on all my jobs but then DH paid for a regular cleaner to keep on top of everything. If you can stretch to this it helps if like me you can't bear to let the dust gather.
• plenty of baby clothes and spare bf tops and bras.
• don't feel guilty about using the dreaded tumble drier - it is a god send when you have 4 loads a day :)
• don't cry if you can only fit into baggy PJs or your smaller maternity clothes - this is NORMAL, despite what you might read in Hello.

Good luck but most of all, ignore what everyone tells you and go with your instinct, commit all the best bits to memory, forget any bad bits and enjoy your new little bundle!

Don't be too rigid in your plans is my advice. We planned to have the first few days at home recovering and bonding with the baby and had told the parents and in laws what the plan was, ie. no visitors straight away, but the day after coming home from hospital I was longing to get out and about and show him off!

Don't panic when you look down at your flabby abdomen in the bath - it will gradually return to the state it was in before you got pregnant.

This time is special and will go very quickly, so savour the good times, and for the bad times reassure yourself that it will soon pass.

Get a great(and long!) tv series on dvd to watch while bf. Both my dc were unbelievably slow, sleepy feeders. I watched all 7 series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer while feeding dd !
Try to nap when they nap. I never actually managed to do this, but I do recognise the wisdom of the advice!
Keep a diary of their milestones (first smile, first tooth, crawling etc.). You won't believe how quickly you'll forget things otherwise.

I found BF really boring. I am very bad at sitting still not doing anything. The first 5 minutes fine, and with my second also fine as she was a quick feeder, but DS used to feed an hour at a time. My mind would wander, incessantly thinking about things I could be doing, or remembering things I hadn't done, so I'd recommend SkaterGrrrl's notebook and pen, but to write down the stuff spinning through your head, rather than forgetting it and then remembering it again next time you are stuck stationary doing the next feed.

Haven't had a chance to read the full thread, so apologies if I repeat anything.

I found that the first few weeks were a nightmare, emotionally. Everything was overwhelming, and I cpuld barely look at ds without welling up. I was in a lot of pain after the delivery which didn't help.

At some point in the first few weeks you'll be convinced your life is never going to get easier. But it will. Really.

The best advice I was ever given was that EVERYTHING is a phase. If baby wakes up ten times each night, it's a phase that will pass. If baby has a perfect routine, unfortunately it may be a phase that will pass. In other words, don't get too relaxed or stressed cos the chances are that things will change in a day or two anyway!

You're a week or so ahead of me. Best of luck, and your wee one will be the star of the show on Xmas Day :-)

"What mothers do (especially when it looks like nothing)" is such a good book - I read it when DS was about three months old and felt very encouraged by it.

Ask for help breastfeeding before you leave hospital. One tiny thing the midwife said to me ten days after the birth (baby to breast, not breast to baby) made a huge difference to my comfort levels and I wish I'd had more support and advice sooner (that said, the NCT breastfeeding line were brilliant at the very earliest stage).

Learn to breastfeed lying down. I never quite mastered the skill and think I'd have got a lot more rest if I had.

The Food of Love by Kate Evans is another great book - really practical detailed advice on breastfeeding and a very common-sense approach to the early days with a newborn.

Finally, the West Wing box set is superb breastfeeding viewing...

It really is worth sleeping while the baby sleeps all the time at the beginning - because that stage only lasts a couple of weeks.
If you end up having a c-section, you will need someone to help you for six weeks. Really.
Batch cooking and freezing meals is a lifesaver and I second that about one-handed feeding - at 11 weeks I still only eat things that can be managed with one hand.
Don't compare your baby to others and definitely don't read parenting books when you are having a bad day - trust your instincts.
The day your milk comes in, expect all your carefully mastered breastfeeding skills to go to pot - and your boobs to feel like they are filled with cement.
You will need more breast pads and maternity towels than seems feasible.

Oh, and if you haven't had them in pregnancy and they give you them after the birth, iron tablets make your poo black. Freakishly so.

I'll second food you can eat with one hand if BF.
Don't worry about routines, that comes months down the line.
Stay in bed with baby as long as you want to, what's to get up for?
Lots of water and indulge in your fave snacks, you deserve it - I'll second the advice on dried apricots.
Good tv is a must, as is a comfy supportive pillow (if BF).

There will be lots of discussions in baby groups comparing every aspect of parent hood, don't worry about any of it, you will find your own way in your own time.
Have computer handy for Mumsnet advice, whatever you are ging through, so many have been there before and there is a world of wisdom in these very pages.
ENOY EVERY SINGE MOMENT.

You will be terrified of having a poo, like you are going to push your innards out, worse if you have stitches. But it is ok!

Don't listen to anyone who starts a sentence with the words 'Just you wait....'

Babies need to sleep a lot. Your baby can be ready for sleep again 45 mins after they wake up. The max mine could cope with was 1 hr 15 mins till she was about 5 months old.

Good luck and enjoy. We generally found it manageable. Apart from those times when it wasn't!

Oh, and little babies are very portable so you can take them virtually anywhere! We went out for quite a few meals, lunchtime and evenings!

If you have stitches pat them dry with kitchen roll (less likely to stick than loo roll) after you shower and dry them with a hair dryer (on a cool setting!!). Keeping them clean and dry will help them to heal faster. If you can bring yourself to have a look the stitches it'll help you know what your dealing with. I didn't look at mine at first. After I did I took to my bed for three days, there's no way someone with that going on in their knickers should be doing anything other than lying on the couch! Recovering and bonding with the baby would be my priority in the first week.
Also, being a mum can be a guilt fest, I had a bit of performance anxiety at first (am I doing it right??). Lower your expectations and then lower them again. Also, try not to compare yourself with others, especially those who are back in their pre-pregnancy jeans after 4 days, have their washing on the line by 7am, have a seemingly perfect baby who never cries and sleeps through, never have spew on their clothes and are always in full makeup .

Praline, I have to contradict you re doing a poo! I had an emergency episiotomy, so had lots of stitches "down below". I was also very constipated (make sure you NEVER get constipated), and so when I strained to do a poo when DS was about 5 days old, my stitches all burst open. Jeez, I still get lightheaded even thinking about it.

The solution - hold a sanitary/maternity pad on the stitches if you need a poo, esp if you need to strain at all. And, as I said already, NEVER ever get constipated. If all else fails, drink prune juice or Lactulose, just to make sure.

x

Just enjoy your baby and rest a lot.If you have a partner/husband,family or friends accept all the help you can get. Good luck with the labour and all the best!

Have a drink of water every time you walk past the tap.
Never leave a room empty-handed.
Don't take the baby out in a sling for at least 10 days - I did and bruised by middle area terribly as muscles were still separated from pregnancy/childbirth!
Have a warm bath with your baby as soon as you get home (in a birthpool is even better!)
Ban your MIL from the house (or mybe that's just me and a few million other women!!!!)
Already loads of good advice on here. Enjoy that time, I wish I could visit it again sometimes.

• sleep when the baby sleeps
• if you are concerned about the baby, talk to a professional even if it's just to put your mind to rest.
• don't forget to enjoy, they will never be this little again.
• the birth, don't have any expectations, it will all be worth it in the end.

Head Fairy, very true about the poo!

oh and you won't fall in love straight away, but when you do, you really do!