Your best tips for the first week with new baby??

[BananaMuffin]

I'm currently 37+3 with my first baby... just wondering if the experienced mums out there have any particularly useful tips for the first couple of weeks/ things you wish people had told you? I am extremely excited but also don't know what to expect at all!

Sorry if this is beyond the pale, but if you are in delicate situation re first poo (yours not baby's!), do it in the bath. .
Try not to think too much just go with the flow.

Don't wear your contact lenses, so you're ready to throw yourself in bed at a moment's notice.

Accept that it will be a good few weeks before child starts to know the difference between day and night, and just go with it.

Cuddle all the time - becasue you don't get a chance when visitors turn up.

OMG - NOoooooooooooooooooo!

K-Y jelly helps poos come out!

I have to say I look back with hindsight and think, what a nightmare, what pain I was in, and yet at the time I hardly felt any of it - because I was sooooooooo delighted to be a Mum after waiting since I was 11 (!) and in love with my wonderful new baby, and experiencing so many new emotions - protectiveness, anxiety, contentment, and learning so many new things all at once. It was amazing!

I'd say:
Enjoy the lovely bits, and give yourself a break over the less lovely bits. You can cry, you can dislike your child, you can hate your husband. You are allowed.

Astronaut that's funny - I wore my lenses in bed so that I was ready to get up and going at a moment's notice!

Buy a big coat and some horrible mum-boots (ie flat), so you can tramp about with the pram and feel worthy. Make sure your walk takes in a shop that sells cake, so you can reward yourself when you come back.

RRead as many books as you can while child still sleeps for most of the day. It could qwll be the last chanc you get.

Haven't read the whole thread so don't know if this has already been covered but I would suggest:

You and baby's Dad have made this lovely little creature together .

BUT, IME (especially with the first), this is also a whole other thing to potentially cause friction/argue over. You are going to be tired/hormonal, etc. and may well snap at some point early days. Just accept that this might happen, Dad too, and not take it too seriously/personally. DP and I had some cracking rows in the early days with DC1 - not so much with DC2 - we were less anxious by then and too tired to argue with each other!

Congratulations!
My DS is 5 weeks today and already he's changed, it's true what they say about treasuring their first moments but hard when you've got what I'd describe as jetlag and PMT rolled into one and x 100.

Before -

Familiarise yourself with your buggy/pushchair/carrycot/steriliser/baby monitor beforehand
Nipple cream and Infacol
Fill the cupboards & freezer with easy to prepare / eat foods that you can eat one handed
If you are a clean freak then get up to date with laundry, cleaning etc so you're not BFing staring at a pile or ironing or dusty tv (maybe that was just me)

During -
If you find yourself 'mourning' your old life it will pass.
Don't freak out if you don't 'bond' straightaway, love takes time.
Get outside everyday even for a walk round the block.
Have a shower and wash your hair everyday and fresh PJ's are great.
Limit visitors to a set a day at a time that suits you, not them!
Accept all offers of help
Chocolates or nice biscuits on hand for breastfeeding
Have your camera ready to record your first few days, some of my best pics were just doing everyday stuff with him.

Ooooh was thinking of more things while I was feeding DS (now 14 months and the light of my life, just to put my first post in perspective) off to sleep.

Be prepared that you might feel rather worse from the birth, if you manage one, than you imagined. In fact be prepared for having to have an emergency c section, or at the very least a big bleed and feeling very anaemic. Or if you're really unlucky, like me, both. Make sure your partner is ready for such an eventuality too and have help on standby. I couldn't lift my pram over kerb stones for weeks let alone get DS in and out of his cot!!

Expect to feel physically much grottier than you ever imagined. Urgh such a lot of lochia, icky stitches, hideous night sweats and all while emotionally you're all over the place.

If you want to breast feed, take it easy on the spicy curries, celebratory tipples but most especially caffeine. It takes an adult three hours to metabolise the caffeine in a normal sized cup of tea, it takes a newborn five days (!), so if you have a cuppa a day by the next week they will be totally wired!, couple that with DS's awfully squashed head and no wonder he was so distraught.

And finally, don't fall into the classic newbie parent trap of proudly telling everyone you've got a 'sleeper'. We did that and at 14 months he still wakes at least once a night for a cuddle. That battered, weary newborn traveller you'll have sound asleep in the moses basket bears no resemblence to the baby you'll meet in a couple of weeks once he/she has perked up a bit and had lots of reviving boob feeds. DS slept so well in the first week we were quite unprepared for his colic. Speaking of which, buy a small bottle of Infacol from the chemist now just in case, and the best way to wind a tiny baby is to put them to one shoulder then walk up and down stairs. Don't know why but it always finds a burp.

Sorry for the epic post. Hope it's not too scary, it was the hardest month of my life, but I'm still desperate to get trying for another. Babies are bloody hard work, but bloody brilliant!

Plan to stay in bed pretty much the whole first week - if you do feel up to getting out of bed then great but don't push yourself and don't feel like you should. Spend lots of time having skin to skin cuddles with baby - it won't be long before they're too big and wriggly!

Don't allow the phrase 'surely he can't be hungry again already' to enter your head or your house. If it cries, feed it!

Understand (and make sure your DH/DP does too) that breastfeeding is a full time job for the first month or so. Have a browse on the breast and bottle feeding topic of mumsnet so you're as well informed as possible before you start.

DON'T feel obliged to receive visitors if you don't want them, and make sure your DH is on board with this and will act as gatekeeper.

Don't feel guilty if you don't enjoy it at first or even hate it. It gets better.

Get into bed with your baby and enjoy - only have visitors who you are comfortable visiting you in bed or in your pj's on the sofa. Be totally selfish - this is you and daddy's time to get to know your child, everyone else can wait, or just pop in for a sneeky peek.

I felt the need to welcome all who knocked and really wish that i had said no more - you never get that time back.

BTW - I am not saying you shouldn't leave the house - advice on taking a short walk is v.good too! Just don't do what i did and have a schedule of people so I could barely do anything! Madness!

Oh - and while you're waiting for your due date - SIT ON THE SOFA AND REST!!! If it's late - then make the most of extra sofa days!

lots of good advice here that i won't repeat, just wanted to add - and this may be based on my general cack handedness and not apply in your case - but ii recommend venetian blinds for your living room if you are planning to learn how to breast feed on your sofa in front of the tv... somehow it never occurred to me that i would have such a struggle to reconcile clothing and breast feeding: my entire street more or less had their eyes poked out during the first week.

otherwise, rest with your lo, keep painkillers close at hand, and good luck

Lots of very sound advice here.

But I would add that because small babies sleep so much, the early weeks are actually a good time to get out and about, if you are able to feed while out. We went shopping when my daughter was nine days old. She was so easy going (after all, they sleep anywhere at that age), that we ended up stopping for a pub lunch and having a lovely relaxing time. Within a couple of weeks the colic and reflux struck, she developed a bit more personality, and everything started to feel like more of an effort. I look back on those early days very fondly. My body was still healing, but escaping the sofa and doing something normal felt so healthy!

But my most important tip is to do things at your own pace and sod everyone else!

I've just had a really naff few days at work - due to go off on maternity leave in 5 weeks - & this has really cheered me up. Makes you realise how exciting it is :)

Dont let your mother in law - or anyone else come & stay for those first few months weeks, added stress you can do without. I learned this the hard way!
Apart from that enjoy & take lots of pics x

Don't be all British and brave about anything. If support/help is offered or available then take it with both hands as quickly as possible. E.g. with bf if you are having problems go to the nearest counsellor/clinic even if it's day 3 and you can't believe that there's a problem yet. Keep asking for the help until the problem is solved.

Use Mumsnet. These loonies will keep you sane in your darkest hour because no matter how bad you think it is someone will have a suggestion or a very unMumsnetty hug for you and it makes all the difference in the world to know you're not alone.

Be prepared that you may not be in love with your baby straight away. This is OK, it will happen eventually. As is being completely in love from the word go.

Sometimes they just cry.

No one knows the right answer.

Good luck, I hope all goes well!

So much good advice, so I'll be brief and share the best piece of advice my midwife gave me

don't let anyone into your house unless they bring food ...
... and don't let them out again until they've done some housework

Plus you'll need lots of paracetemol, and big warm cardigan by the bed for getting up in the night - much more bearable if you're warm!

Good luck, however horrendous it is, you'll still love it

If anyone makes you a drink, make sure they put it at arm's length away from you. Nothing worse than holding a baby, going to grab your lovely cup of tea, only to find it's too close to you to get with your free hand. Odd advice I know, but very true!

Have lots and lots of muslin squares for cleaning up sick etc.

Don't bother with any housework at all.

Get as much sleep as you can, WHENEVER you can. 30 mins sleep equals an hour and a half of energy, which really, really makes a difference when you're dog-tired.

Good luck - I'm envious and not envious in equal measure . Hope all goes well. Don't forget to report back and let us know how it all went.

Stock up on:
Muslins
Breast pads
Lansinoh
Maternity pads
Arnica cream
A rubber ring(!) in case you are very sore
Water bottles you get very thirsty if breastfeeding
Postnatal/breastfeeding vitamins
Large cotton wool pads and flask for nappy changes

Personally the first weeks I was a complete nervous and exhausted wreck, I should have a) accepted all offers of help and b) slept when baby slept.

Try and be kind to your partner they will be emotional and exhausted too my DH got really overwhelmed on day 5. Also be kind to yourself you are going to be exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally so no expectations of yourself.

Keep a Moses basket or pram downstairs too.

Be prepared that breastfeeding may hurt alot and may not at first be a joyous bonding experience, it does get very much easier.

Be proud of yourself you have created a beautiful baby that is amazing!

If their top lip deveops a blueish tinge, it's wind, burp that baby! (incidently it took 9 weeks and one of my friends to find the right spot to make dd1 burp without hours of rubbing! , gaw'd that child was awkward!)

Oooh and when their cry sounds like 'alllllahhhhh' that means food required, please don't think I'm batty (come on, someone back me up)

Don't keep newborns awake for longer than an hour at a time. They do and will get over-tired!

haven't read the whole thread but my top tips are

Just "go with the flow", for the first few weeks.

When you are feeling so sleep deprived you aren't 100% sure whether the 3:00 on the clock is 3:00am or 3:00pm then just remember "this too will pass" (this should become your mantra!)

Be kind to yourself & sleep when baby sleeps (disconnecting phone & door bell first!), have visitors only if/when it suits you, and make sure they look after themselves (leave tea/coffee/mugs etc out by the kettle!) and accept offered help if you want to (and ask if you need it & it's not offered!) and sleep wins over housework every time - let your standards slip a bit if necessary.

Ignore any DM/MIL "in my day...", "if I were you..." suggestions unless it feels right for you.

Just keep reminding yourself that for most folks the first 6 weeks are generally a bit of a blur, the next 6 a bit better & by 12 weeks things are normally settling into some sort of sensible "routine" (I'm back to my "this too will pass" mantra... )

Things for now
stock up on basics (bappies/loo roll, washing powder etc)
get some easy "one pot" meals stashed in the freezer
when the "nesting" kicks in get all the housework done, as the hoover/duster might not see the light of day for a while after!
If you are breastfeeding get some lansinoh cream in (lifesaver if you have sore nipples)

For the first week - lots of dried apricots! (Take them to hospital, if you're going.) It'll make your first post-birth poo a little more comfy and a little less scary!

My top tip would be to set up a shopping list with one of the supermarkets online (I used Tesco). Put all your normal stuff and some nappies, wipes, breast pads and lots of instant food and fruit. You just save the list then get your OH to click and place the order the day you get home from hospital. Next day your cupboards are full and all you had to do was click a mouse once - no thought required!!