Your best tips for the first week with new baby??

[BananaMuffin]

I'm currently 37+3 with my first baby... just wondering if the experienced mums out there have any particularly useful tips for the first couple of weeks/ things you wish people had told you? I am extremely excited but also don't know what to expect at all!

Boris my two both did a cry like "eh, eh, eh" when they were hungry, at least while they were really tiny! (It changed later, a pity as it made it harder to tell what they wanted!).

Maybe this is TMI, but reading this thread made the memories flood back. One of the most useful things I had was a soft plastic bottle that I could use to squirt warm water all over my derriere after using the loo, especially after a poo, when the thought of wiping thoroughly and ripping stitches made me quake. (I don't have a bidet and it was the next best thing).

I also found in the immediate aftermath of the births that my bladder didn't empty all the way for about 10 days and running colder water over my bits and bobs would help greatly to empty it out.

Sorry if TMI.

I got a plastic bottle each time in the hospital (delivered all of them in the US) -- it was part of the useful equipment they sent home with me. They were like plastic water bottles with the stopper you can pull up to open and push down to close.

After the first crazy couple of weeks, use washable breast pads as they're so much cheaper. I have 12 Avent washable ones that have seen me through 4.5 years of BFing!!

For labour and immediately post birth it's useful to have some disposable incontinence pants (not for wee - for amniotic fluid during labour, then for blood and lochia post birth). A couple of packets of Boots own brand did the trick. I wish I knew about these before the birth of my first, I spent 10hrs labouring at home after my waters had broken and dripped wherever I went.

For the first few months it's nice to use a changing mat liner for baby so they don't get a cold back on plastic changing mat, small hand towels work fine but I got some terry nappies for this in the end as I seemed to get through so many of them, I soon ran out of towels, they invariably get weed/pooed on.

Also in this cold weather, tights are good for boys as well as girls, babies seem unable to keep socks on.

Also the advice above about ignoring advice is great, please fee free to dismiss any or all of the above, and just muddle along in your own way!

good luck!

1. During the first 24 hours have no visitors and sleep loads. The baby sleeps for the first day but does not sleep much after that!
2. Eat, drink and rest as much as possible for as long as you breast feed as your body won't make enough milk if you do not.
3. If you breast feed do not worry that is hurts on day 4. It gets MUCH better after the first week and after a couple of weeks does not hurt at all.
4. Go for a walk as soon as you can face it. Remember it does not matter if your baby cries in public. They all do!

Remove the plug from the playstation/x-box/wii/whatever. This is not the time for your OH to beat his previous top score.

Get bedroom curtains. I didn't care at the time, but I'm quite embarrassed about how many times our street saw me half-naked in tube first month of DS's life (mad pg nesting kicked in late and we didn't quite get all the home improvements finished before he was born).

Jelly is a perfectly good meal.

Don't feel you have to do anything other than kiss, cuddle, clean and feed your baby.

Enjoy being allowed, nay, expected to look dreadful and just go with it.

Eat as much NHS toast as you can get your mitts on: it is unbelievably gorgeous.

And another one on dealing with painful nether regions ... use a hair dryer to dry your bits after a bath, or even a wee, much less painful that pulling the stitches around with they towel or loo roll.

Yeah, childbirth hurts more than you'll ever imagine but is worth every second.
Breastfeeding feels like a cheesegrater being scraped along your nipples for the first two weeks, then it gets better and you end up falling asleep along with your baby - have a bottle of water, tissues and the remotes at your side. You'll forget to go to the toilet (strange but true) and you'll also forget to do other basic functions, but it's not a slur on you - you're just a new mum.

Oh, and best of all, being a mum is the best job in the world!!

Just remember that when you're feeling drunk with sleeplessness in the small hours and wondering what the hell you signed up for. It does get better and it's all worth it! Honest!

Agree with everything here but don't feel bad if you do want visitors!

I loved having family round, but then most some of them are quite helpful

I enjoyed a couple of hours on my own in the morning but then liked people popping in, making me tea and food, telling me how wonderful I and my baby were

Then they would make me sleep. If they weren't there I would do housework, looking back I think they may have had some kind of rota for babysitting me

Assume that you will have to eat all your food one handed. Using a knife and fork will be out of the question.
Biscuits - good.
Sandwiches - good
Curry and rice - fine
Roast dinner - impossible, unless DH cuts it into bite size pieces for you.

This is because you will be desperate to eat a hot meal, but baby will either be BFing, crying or sleeping on you when hot food is ready.

If you are doing night feeds in bed, have a pint of water and a packet of figs rolls stashed by the bed - somewhere you can reach them without disturbing the baby you will be holding.

Get one of those towelling turbans.

You may get time to wash your hair if you are lucky - but you won't have time to dry it too. Leave it up in the turban and you will be able to look after the baby without dripping everywhere.

piprabbit - oh God yes, I forgot about eating one-handed!

You learn to not only eat one-handed but simultaneously balance a baby on one knee whilst breast feeding and cover your modesty at the same time. Cushions help, as do those muslin cloths. Joints of meat are tricky to cut using just a fork but believe me you soon learn how to cut food up using just that and your inginuity.

Oh aye, just so as you know it's not just you if you ever have to do it - I've also had to go to the loo whilst breastfeeding. It can be done (has to be done sometimes!) and it doesn't make you a scratty person if you need to do it.

I've done a speedy toilet trip while BFing too, also while comforting crying baby in the wee small hours - unfortunately a vaginal birth is pretty incompatible with having steely bladder control , for a while at least.

1. You will need a warm dressing gown for night feeds.

1. You will need more pads than you ever think possible for the bleeding.

1. Use a dummy. I will say it again. USE A DUMMY. Some babies like to suck 24-7, and it's either the dummy or your painful nipples... your choice.

1. If your milk takes a while to come in, give the baby a bottle of formula. It's not poison. Really. And it works. Happy baby; happy mumma.

Best of luck.
(And believe me it's not as hard as people say it is).

If they scream and pull up their legs, that's wind. Make sure you learn how to burp your baby. Search for the technique on You Tube if you don't have someone you can ask in person.

Whatever it is like for you in the first couple of weeks, it won't stay like that. Nothing is permanent. Wish I had known that.

It can be difficult to say no visitors, a text can work well. The sooner the better though, and perhaps disconnect the door bell before labour!
The door bell ringing when DC has just gone to sleep always made me so violent . Would get to the door and want to throw vases.

If you are BFing but exhausted, express/have DH give DC the next 2/3 feeds whilst you catch up on sleep!
Oh - and a bath..thing. Memory blank A thing that baby lays on in the bath. Much easier than faffing around, and very useful for the first few weeks.

However bad it seems - its only until the next feed/ nap (so max a few hours) and then you have a clean sheet to start again. Babies do not bear grudges.
If it cries and you have checked/ done everything and it cries whether you hold it or not, then you are not a bad parent for letting it cry in its cot/ pram etc. Sometimes and some babies just do, and constant yowling in your ear can do your head in. And sometimes they are crying because they want to be left alone.

I would agree with all of the above tips. I had my DD in December and loved the fact that I could totally hibernate for the first few weeks with all the christmas chocs .

Definitely make yourself comfy for the breastfeeding as yes, a feed can last for 45 minutes+ !!

On other more practical (and far less cute) notes, make sure you buy your paper pants at least a size or 2 bigger than normal, the best maternity pads I found were natracare ones if you can get them (I know waitrose stock them) and don't be shocked if the lochia bleeding lasts for up to 6 weeks after (or 8 in my case ). Also, I wish someone had told me just how much you might sweat afterwards too!! Sounds gross, but I think the body is just shedding so much fluid it's retained over the 9 months and I really wish someone had warned me (sorry, tmi?!?)

Also, trust your instincts! Books are great for reference, but you will be the best judge of what you can do for your baby as they're all different...

Enjoy it! I loved having a squishy little newborn and there's something so relaxing just having them lie on your chest, it really is a magical time...

So much good advice on this thread. Wish I had read something like it before I had my first. I would only add, even if using disposable nappies (as I did), get yourself one of those nappy buckets with a lid, and pop a couple of drops of tea tree oil in the bottom. Keep it by the change table and then all those clothes and muslins that get poo, wee and sick on them can go straight in and the lid can go on, and you can forget about them and take them to the washing machine in one job lot later.

Oh, and someone else has probably said this, but in the room where baby sleeps and feeds, have a light that you can either fade up with some sort of dimmer mechanism, or a very low watt lamp. You want to be able to see what you're doing, but you don't want to totally wake up baby, partner and yourself at the same time.

And be kind to yourself.

So much good advice here already... my extra ... get a great baby carrier. My DS cried a lot and loud. I strapped him on my chest and it meant i could have both hands, he'd happily fall asleep and I could walk around the house and put on the washing, etc without feeling hampered. Just make sure you get the carrier/sling that's right for you (i get a sore back normally so invested in a BabyBjorn with proper back support, but some people prefer the sling type).

Also... i discovered the Amby Nature's Nest when DS was about a month old. It's like a (safe) hammock on a bouncy spring - when little one moves, it bounces and settles them; when they're tiny, you can settle them with just one finger bouncing it (i remember lying in bed with just one arm out of the covers, bouncing for about 2 or 3 minutes, til DS fell asleep again; so much easier than the pacing with them). I never looked back; he's been a brilliant sleeper ever since. Next one is going into the nest from Day 1!

Don't buy any pads with wings on them. They will stick to your pubes and cause much agony and sobbing.

also - bookmark this:

If nothing else works, try holding baby in front of a plain/white wall so it's all they can see. He/she may be overstimulated and this can help calm them. Do loud shushing and rocking while you do this (found this trick about 4 weeks in an it really helped)

Wow loads of info, agree on the dummy whole heartedly. I have used them with both if mine and my god it saved my sanity.

My dd is now 3yrs and was taken off the dummy at just over 2. Be prepared for watching your small child go from lovely and adorable to a methidone addict depriaved of their fix. It took one wk and now all is fine. My DS will have the same when he gets to that age.

Also, on the stitches front. I have 3rd degree tears first time round and was given fibogel and other various poo helping solutions and pain killers. They dont affect your milk and if taken as instructed you will poo better than you ever have with no pain at all. I had 2nd degree second time round and same again, no issue no pain etc etc. Bit of rubbing when hoovering, but I dont recommend hoovering a day after giving birth. My HV told me off lots!!!

Keep dark chocolate and apricots handy- they both contain iron and yet keep you regular and they are food!

and the otehrs who say don't stress too much about routine and whether babies should do this or that are spot on. I remember how obsessed i got with when they should be sleeping and how much they should eat etc. you realise looking back as long as they are eating and growing they will be fine. what you really need to worry about is are you eating and are you sleeping. stick to the really important things like good hand hygeine and not letting them get too hot and making sure they go down on their backs. everything else is just faff.

also remember you don't actually have to take them everywhere with you. you can have a shower when they are asleep. you can actually put them in another room in their moses basket if they are asleep (then they can have the lights off without you having to sit in the dark!) yeah they need you but not ALL the time.

but most importantly get out with your baby as soon as you can, as often as you can and in the morning if you can manage it. if you are having a winter baby this makes all the difference to your mental well being. I loved my crisp wintery walks, even if it was just ten minutes. (with an hour lead up to get organised obviously 3rd floor with twins was a logistical nightmare...)

and go out without them by about 8 weeks. you need to learn other people can actually look after them and you are still a person as well as a mum...for about 1 hour every six weeks