Your best tips for the first week with new baby??

[BananaMuffin]

I'm currently 37+3 with my first baby... just wondering if the experienced mums out there have any particularly useful tips for the first couple of weeks/ things you wish people had told you? I am extremely excited but also don't know what to expect at all!

This is so great, thanks everyone. I am 31 weeks with my first and am getting The Fear - have bookmarked this and will surely refer to it again and again.

Sleep when they sleep.

Do what comes naturally. If what someone advises you goes against your instincts then don't don't do it.

Enjoy it :)

plan nothing. Chances are, you will be very sore. Eat loads if you are breast feeding. I had the shakes for 2 weeks after and could hardly eat anything so then baby was getting hungry.
Sleep whenever baby sleeps. I made the mistake of trying to tidy up and make dinner when baby was sleeping during day then regretted it was it was taking me 4hours+ to settle baby at night.
If visitors arrive unannounced and you are tired or just don't feel like company, politely say that you appreciate the visit but go away lol.

Most of all, ENJOY IT. Your baby will grow up so quickly before your eyes its unreal. Take hundreds of photos and enjoy him/her. The first few weeks are precious.

Good luck :)

Hi,

Now just a couple of days overdue with my 2nd and this is bringing back memories!

I felt totally awful with our first. The feelings of responsibility were totally overwhelming for me and the baby blues meant I just used to sit on the bathroom floor crying and thinking what the hell have I done??? I honestly thought that I'd made a massive mistake!

Saw the doctor in the end as just couldn't stop crying at all and she told me I needed to get out of the house and do something that I used to do before DD arrived...even if it was just walking to the shops or going for a coffee. It really helped and within a few days I was feeling much better. It's important to think of yourself too.

Just try not to feel pressured to feel a certain way, it's very hard but everyone has their own 'normal'. Not everyone feels the strong bond with their baby immediately, it took me weeks and weeks to really feel like I loved DD even though I did feel very protective and caring from day 1.

The best advice I was given was that the best thing for the baby is to have a happy and well mother so you do need to concentrate on that too.

Those first days are hard but looking back those early times are lovely. Babies grow up so quickly and soon don't want to be cuddled all the time.

All of the above.
And buy Lansinoh.

I loved the first few weeks, maybe I am a lone voice here but there is nothing quite as special as cuddling and feeding your newborn. Make the most of it, it goes so quickly. Just respond to your babies needs and don't worry about the rest. Hold your baby all of the time and just savour everything about them.

DS is 2yrs now and I miss those early days when he was so small and vunerable, but I'll be doing it all over again soon and I can't wait!

If you are planning on BFing then feed on demand- forget routines and schedules! They are not invented for BFed babies! Make sure you eat plenty of healthy food and drink plenty of water as you get so thirsty.

Just make the most of it as it passes so quickly.

No expections
Happy Day - get people round
Bad Day - tell them to get lost
Travel cot/moses basket - ideal for baby sleeping downstairs, gets them used to noise quickly and means you have to move less.
Listen to your body - it will tell you when you can start moving at a normal pace
Dont get diheartened if your HV is miserable and negative. I ignored mine, it was my baby and I did what I felt was right.
Ignore baby books, only read them when you feel a bit more confident about your parenting skills - that way you can ignore whats rubbish and use what works for you.
Ignore people with good sleepers - mine were both fantastic, however my 3yr now wakes up at 6am each morning and my 1yr wakes up in the night for chats!! regularly. Good sleepers dont always stay good sleepers!!

The first 6 wks are the hardest and its not because the baby magically transforms after that age, its just your body has recovered, your used to sleepless nights and are more confident and happy with what you are doing.

Most of all enjoy yourself and your new baby and use the time to bond, it does pass very fast.

Good luck, I'm sure you will be fine x

Don't stress the small stuff. Try to forget what you've read about in books and go with your instinct.

Trust your baby can breathe without you watching him/her every minute.

Practice the poppers on babygrows NOW. Took me a good month to get the hang of them.

Relax. Relax. Relax. Have a big hot gorgeous smelling bath every day, your body has had a big shock.

Get a few good books to read whilst you feed.

I expressed (1 bottle a day) as well as breastfed from the start, so my husband could do some of the feeding and it helped get our babies (now 2 and 4) used to bottles as well as the breast, for when we switched them over.

I know everyone has said about protecting yourselves from visitors, but I really loved that part of it - I didn't really bake cakes or anything but generally felt touched that people had made the effort to come and see us and I quite liked the change of being able to hand the baby over and make a cup of tea....and everyone loves a cuddle with a newborn, it's magical and lovely there's no harm sharing them around a bit with those who love you! But don't do like my husband and start telling people who've had 3+ kids 'mind his/her head'!!!

Wash their clothes with Ecover detergent and fabric conditioner - my NCT group said mine were the softest muslins in town!!

Good point re visitors kittykatty - I agree, I was desperate for visitors after a few days. Sometimes, people try to stay away, so make your wishes clear.

If you feel completely overwhelmed, unsure of yourself, emotionally fragile and exhausted, that's totally normal, don't worry.

So much good advice. Has made me all sentimental.
you will probably have the - 'Cr@p, they're letting us leave the hospital, on our own, with a tiny baby...are they mad!!??' - moment.

I liked reading bits of books, terrifying, but gave me a bit of an inkling of how much a new born actually does need to feed and sleep. That'll be lots by the way, but not always at the time that works for you.
If you manage to breast feed you will become obsessed with your nipples! Use that special lanolin cream and have an elastic band on the wrist of the side you left fed on. This will become clear when you are in the fog of 'What side, how long, errrr what am I doing?'

Don't be scared if you don't have that rush of love mums talk about. I didn't, and didn't like to admit it at first because I thought it was bad. I did however have an overwhelming desire to look after that tiny bundle that looked like all the other babies. He soon looked like my very own baby and certainly that cry could only be my son.

Notebook and pen, priceless. Fresh air, much needed. Guests who sort themselves out and don't want to just hold the baby and be waited on, are preferable.

Don't expect too much of yourself, your baby or your partener. Focus on eth one good thing you managed each day.
For me it was feeding the baby (obviously)managing to have a shower (luxury) and remebering to eat lunch.

Haven't read much of the thread, sorry.. so apologies if repeating.

Stay in bed or on sofa as much as possible.

Have beautiful makeup (I bought a fortune's worth from Bobbi Brown as a pre-birth treat) and take loads of pictures with a fantastic camera. If the baby is blotchy or has peeling skin or you look like the Wreck of the Hespers, you can make it black and white later. I have the most gorgeous pics of us and we took hundreds of them and they just bring lots of memories flooding back.

You know that bit about 'they grow up so fast' (you will!) - it is true. So translate that as 'do what you want to do' for a bit. If you don't want to sleep while the baby sleeps but instead want to rush about the house doing things because its makes a change from being tied to the sofa breastfeeding, then do it. And have confidence in yourself - your baby is part you and part the other person you know best in the world - odds on you know better than someone else what it wants/ needs. When you hear advice, smile and adopt faraway expression (listen if you want but don't appear to be because you'll only get more).

Oh and if you're feeling fat and bloated, have your dh take a pic from behind your head of you looking at the little bundle in your arms. I was 14 stone 2 and still love those pics. First fat pics of me I have ever liked!

Oh and practise reading with 1 hand while holding baby. Get lots of paperbacks that can be held in 1 hand. Learn to love daytime TV ...

Have your fridge and pantry stocked with meals and snacks (healthy ones preferable) and buy a big bowlful of fruit. Buy biscuits for visitors and don't eat them yourself.

Take to your bed and only get up for a little walk, a shower, a few hours a day. Don't lift a finger around the house. Whoever is there with you can take care of it, all of it, for two weeks at least.

Visitors: rope in the DP or DH or your mum or whoever is there with you to fend them off for at least the first week. If that's not possible, then have them come late in the evening (7 to 8 pm) so they won't be tempted to make themselves too much at home or expect a meal or even a snack. There should be a sign between you and your partner that the visit needs to be brought to a close. Do not go off to a less comfortable place to breastfeed if the visitors are there in the room with the comfy chair. They can like it or lump it if your baby needs feeding.

Dummies are not crack cocaine for babies they are bits of plastic that can save your mental health.
The next three years trying to break the habit are more of a problem.

ok, this is my practical advise

buy yourself some lady tenna incontinece pants!! not for wee, but for the blood loss after birth. they are ultra absorbant, and very comfy.

also, when weeing on toilet, sit down, but lean forward and put your head on the floor!! helps with avoiding the stinging!!

good luck with your baby xx

Buy lots of nice new PJs - for me it symbolically meant a new phase in life, not just my yukky old matty PJs. I literally didn't get dressed into proper clothes for a week and I felt so much better for it.

Can I also recommend getting a large fleece (or soft to the skin) blanket? Whenever there's no other visitors around (or even if there are if you're comfortable with them!!), whip your top off and have as much skin to skin contact as possible, doesn't matter if you're breast or bottle feeding. When you go to the loo/have a shower etc, get your partner to do skin to skin as well. I'm welling up now thinking of DH with 3 day old DS on his chest, snuggled up together under a blanket watching Christmas films together.

Oh and laugh at things as often as you can, remember that having a baby is wonderful fun as well! The first hiccup, the first sneeze, the first time they wee all over the duvet.......... Right, am off to find a tissue now!

Later on (4 weeks onwards), I tried to ensure that I got out of the house once a day and particularly to get exposure to some sunshine. Oh and if you like reading, join a library and get out the largeprint books - much easier on the eyes when it's balanced some distance away! Oh and remember that BBC, ITV and C4 all have catch up websites, I can't remember the last time that I watched a programme at the advertised broadcast time.

Good luck and I hope you enjoy the wonderful first days as much as possible. x

Don't expect to enjoy the first few weeks - unless you are very lucky, you won't. I coped better than lots of my friends with those early days because I was expecting them to be total hell, so anything short of hell seemed pretty good to me.

If you don't mind if the housework isn't done, let it go: if you do mind, sort out with your DH/DP before the birth what absolutely has to be done and get him to agree to do it. Or get a cleaner.

I go against all the people who say cook things and freeze them - it's a waste of your time off before the birth. I filled the freezer with meals, and we're only getting round to eating them now that DS is nearly 3 months old and I've got time to cook again anyway. DS cluster fed for 4-5 hours in the evenings for the first 6 weeks and I didn't have time to eat anything I couldn't eat one-handed sitting on the sofa. Fruit cake, cheese and toast got me through.

Getting out of the house is important for sanity: we're lucky and have a cafe round the corner, and we went there with DS for the first time when he was 3 days old. I find I go bonkers if I have more than a day when I don't get out of the house.

Be firm about visitors - we were horrendously mean and told my mother and MIL that they couldn't come for the first month, because they live miles away and would have had to stay with us and we knew we couldn't cope with that.

Look at your stock of maternity pads and double it (should see you through the first few days at least!)

It was a good day for me if I got out of my pyjamas by lunchtime. It was a fantastic one if I managed a shower as well. Do, at the very least, try to brush your teeth...

My favourite memory? Lying on the sofa with my tiny premmie baby asleep on my chest. :)

It was just as well I lost all inhibitions during 3 weeks in hospital because our postman saw me in all sorts night garb when delivering lovely parcels!