Your best tips for the first week with new baby??

[BananaMuffin]

I'm currently 37+3 with my first baby... just wondering if the experienced mums out there have any particularly useful tips for the first couple of weeks/ things you wish people had told you? I am extremely excited but also don't know what to expect at all!

This is SUCH a helpful thread - I'm pregnant for the first time too, and this is just fantastic.

THANKS!

Set up an internet shopping list NOW while you can think straight.

Invest in a thermal mug so you'll always have a hot drink & a flask for night feeds.

You WILL make a stupidly expensive purchase that you think will improve your life, probably online in the middle of the night, a feeding chair, a swinging chair, a dvd player or similar.

savoy cabbage leaves straight from the fridge really do relieve engorged breasts.

Get a big furry dressing gown for night feeds - it's bloody cold at 3am at this time of year.

a microwave is your friend (for reheating cold dinner/cups of tea etc)

Hahaha yes, savoy cabbage leaves from the fridge. And maternity pads (spritzed with water) from the freezer. In fact buy LOTS of maternity pads and breast pads.
Enjoy it all and maybe have a chat with your DH beforehand about what needs to be done in the house every day (mine would sit and relax whilst I was feeding and it took a big angry row to point out that dishwasher/washing machine needed emptying and restocking) and that he should come and check on you every half hour if you are feeding the baby somewhere quiet- that way if baby falls asleep and you've forgotten your water /entertainment/mag/remote/muslin/ furry dressing gown & slippers then you don't sit there feeling thirsty/hungry/silly.
Someone did say to me that you should not resent your DH for not being a cross between Martha Stewart and your mum- prob trying to pre-empt the washing row!!
Oh, and I found having a basket system for laundry invaluable. So clean muslins were thrown in one box, clean sleepsuits in another etc. That way no rummaging in the dark.
You will feel like the most amazing people in the world and wander around beaming at people (especially if they too belong to the Parent Club!). It's like you've unlocked the key to the best thing ever! Have a wonderful time!!!

Tomato soup and a brown bread cheese sandwich is the perfect form of nutrition for bf mothers when they can't think what else to have.

There's some great advice here. Personally I found the first week was the hardest week of my life bar none. It's insane, and nothing at all prepares you for it. I'm already beginning to forget (after 3 months) just what made it so awful, but it was. It gets easier! Promise. I'm loving it now, but in that first week or two I really did think I'd made a horrendous mistake getting pregnant.

Expect to cry, lots. Put your feet up. Eat chocolate. Don't expect anything of yourself.

Good luck - enjoy!

Oh yes, you definitely need to have a chat with DH, or show him this thread. His support will make all the difference in the world. He is going to have to run around after you, you are both going to be knackered and wonder what the hell you have done, and probably be at each other's throats. It'll be short lived, you are going to have to have patience with each other. But it's all completely normal.

Your mobile is your friend. If you have no pockets then tuck it in your bra so that you always have it with you. Then if you are stranded in bed/on the sofa with a feeding and/or sleeping baby, you can ring your DH downstairs and get him to bring you a cuppa or whatever else.

When I was at home on my own I was fine, because I would be properly organised before I sat down with DS. It was when someone else was in the house that I wouldn't bother to plan before I sat down to feed and then find that the remote, my drink etc was out of reach.

It sounds daft, and by the time your baby is a few weeks old you will have the hang of moving about while feeding - but to begin with it roots you to the spot!

Do you have a laptop or an iPhone? I find both invaluable and am well practised at using MN one handed. No-one minds the lack of capital letters

I still maintain that I went through the classic signs of grieving just after DS was born. I know that sounds awful and completely insane, but seriously..
-Shock (wtf have I done)
-Anger (mostly taken out on DP)
-Bargaining (this is the one that freaked me out the most) - this was when I realised nix returnies. This was me now. BIG terror. Not trying to scare you (I have an anxiety disorder so more mad than most) but found this one interesting and scary in equal measure
-Depression. This is the bit where, despite PJ's til 5pm seeming like the most appealing thing in the world, a shower and getting out (even for 10 mins) is VERY important. It will help, honest. This is a normal stage, all new Mum's get it. It's only when it persists that you need to worry, but it's perfectly normal to get it for a short while.
Uplift - Some women get this immediately [hiss] some get it after a few weeks. I got it after 9 months (but I, as I've mentioned, have other issued and had PND)

Finally, acceptance. You realise that life will never be the same again, and that this is a GOOD thing.

Sorry if I've gone on too long or offended anybody, that's just what it felt like to me

I know what you mean jareth. I think I found the lack of physical & head space hardest to deal with. Never getting to eat meal in peace.

And then there is the first realisation of the sense of responsiblity. I took dd1 in the pram to the supermarket in the dark. In in street there was a guy hanging around (probably waiting for a lift) but in my head he became a rapist & was going to attack me a my baby & by the time I got to the supermarket I was hyperventilating. That was the first 'sense of 'responsibility' thing I had.

Also I remember asking my mum how you stop obsessively checking their breathing & she said you just have the accept that if something did go wrong the chances of you checking at the right time are slim so you just accept that it is pointless. Sounds morbid but it did make me relax a bit.

Can you tell jareth & I are still in the small baby stage?

haha, DS is almost 3. I just have a good memory :-p

I think we need to stop freaking the OP out now though.. (sorry OP)

Oh jareth, I thought you had a newish baby for some reason.

I'm definitely still in the 'omg what have we done!' stage.

hold off visitors - the postnatal hormones can make you very sensitive.

agree bout fresh air every day.

newborns sleep alot and feed alot - good tv is a lifesaver.

biscuits.

all a newborn wants is you.

bumpers it gets better, it really does.

although somehow never fast enough -and always too quickly IYSWIM.

Good advice girls...I'm taking it all on board. Got my 20 week scan on Monday, and still have so much ahead of me. Really looking forward to it all but it is very overwelming!x

buy acheap waterproof sheet for your bed....for allsorts of reasons!!

EvilAllenPoe "all a newborn wants is you" - that's the best advice so far and made me fill up.

Stay in your PJ's
Don't feel bad if you don't want lots of visitors
BUT accept all offers of help - ask friends to bring food!
Get an insulated cup or you will never drink hot tea/coffee again!
Expect to feel stressed, tired and emotional..
Enjoy every second x

Don't worry if you don't feel you love your baby the instant it's born(my first thought was 'I'll never be able to bond with that baby' ), some times it takes a few days, but it does come.

Don't think by being at the baby's beck and call for the first few weeks will mean you are setting the wrong pattern for the future (rod for your own back etc.) and life will always be that way, it won't. Just go with the flow and try to enjoy it all, normal life (getting dressed before midday, leaving the house etc.) will resume one day.
Good luck x

read this thread when you've had your baby, because you'll likely have forgotten it's content

Agree with ignoring advice about 'making a rod for your own back'.

DD was 6 weeks old and I going crazy because every time I put her down she screamed, she just wanted to be held and I wanted to hold her but felt guilty, like I was doing something wrong.

I was home alone, I phoned dh at work who told me to put her down, I phoned my mum who told me the same.

I then, out of desperation, googled (one handed ) and found a thread on Mumsnet which summed up exactly how I was feeling, guilty and confused because I was going against my instincts. That thread was my first introduction to Mumsnet, I never posted on it but it gave me the confidence to parent as I wanted to and to ignore other people.

IMHO the two best pieces of advice on this thread are: go with the flow and all your baby wants is you.

I am now 39+6 with dc2 and will be repeating those two pieces of advice to myself a lot in the next few weeks!

Good luck and congratualtions!

Stay in pyjama's unless you are up for a walk in the fresh air.
No visitors, unless it's someone who will help for a short while. Certainly do not make anyone a cup of tea!
No housework.
A fridge full of M&S ready meals and sandwiches.
Chocolate.
Lots of laundry liquid for washing poo-y babygro's.
Trashy Sleb magazines for reading while stuck to the sofa feeding the baby.

Put a sign on your door saying New Mum inside, please be considerate.