getting signed off sick, help please!

[suzym1984]

Evening ladies!

I am currently 25 weeks pregnant and really struggling with work. I am a teacher at a very challenging school (lots of ADHD and autism in my class) and I am finding the long days very tiring. I never get breaks and hardly ever eat any lunch, so I am on my knees at the moment. Also, my 'morning' sickness never really went away, and I have now been told that for health and safety I am not allowed to eat in the classroom (so no food for me all day then!)

I would like to go and see the dr to get signed off for a week or so, just to get some rest and hopefully feel more human. Also feel like the stress is making my MS worse.

But.....what do I say?? If i ask for a sick note will he think I am a big skiver? What if he just says it will get better with time, etc? Think I might crack if I keep going the way I am!

Thanks for reading

Thanks for all of the lovely messages, so nice that people dont think I am a big skiver (even if the dr does think that!)

Have rang my MW and left a message so just waiting for her to ring back. Not gonna hold my breath that she will be any more use tho.

Good luck, hope you don't think I'm being bossy but I sort of am . Just hate to see people not listened to especially by doctors.

Suzy - how did you get on?

I am STILL waiting for my MW to ring back ! I rang work and told them I would not be in tomorrow, so just trying to decide whether to wait for mw to ring, or to try and get an appt with another dr tomorrow? What a stress!

Still go and see the Dr as at the end of the day, they can sign you off. Not sure Midwife can.

I would ring midwife again and request she calls you back. If you haven't heard by around 3pm, call again

You have to be pushy sometimes I'm afraid

Sod work - you and the baby come first

You are so right, thanks for your comments

Will try and get a doc appt tomorrow and will report back. Feel scared tho after today, I was so humiliated by the doc i saw today.

Do not be intimidated by Drs...seriously, they are only human at the end of the day and like in any profession, you get good and bad ones

I can remember one Dr being really patronising once when we took DS to out of hours. Mum was with me as DH was on nights. I am profoundly deaf and as soon as Dr was told this, was directing all the chat to my mum. My mum leaned over and said not only can you talk to her direct, but you can use medical jargon as she's got a Biomedical degree...Dr's jaw dropped and his manner changed instantly!

Be firm!

Good luck!

I would tell work that you HAVE seen a GP and they have advised you to self-cert.

Its normal to self-cert though for the first week, for the majority of cases and is no reflection on whether it is genuine or not.

I had a threat around 25 weeks, and ended up at the hospital and was told to rest, & under no circumstances to go to work. Spoke to my GP and was advised to self-cert 7 days and then see them if I felt I needed more time, and I have been off ever since. Now (38+6)and on Mat leave, but I understand how difficult it is.

Also don't beat around the bush when you see your GP tell them that you are not fit to work and that you need the time off as you are worried about having a break-down if you don't get the rest you need right now.

Andie x

Thanks again for the messages!

I have spoken to my MW today and she has advised me to take the rest of this week to rest, and then to see a dr next week if I still feel ill and need a sicknote. She was still reluctnant to to say that work was a problem and said that maybe I have a virus. I dont, but I will wait till next week and broach the subject again with a dr.

Thanks again x x x

Glad you spoke to midwife, ring work now tell them you won't be in for rest of week on midwives advice and are seeing dr for further advice on Mon. Get an appt with dr for Monday, go in, agree with Andie, no beating around the bush, you are ill and you feel that work and the attitude of work is damaging your well being. If it helps take some of the advice from Feb forum re symptoms, I would lead with inability to relax, sleep, stop crying, feeling dizzy and
lightheaded.

Good luck, take it easy and back to sofa with book, trashy magazine right now young lady

Suzy - just wanted to add I am sorry to hear that you had such a bad experience with the doctor. It is part of your job as a teacher to make students feel at ease so they can learn effectively. Same with doctors - they are supposed to have the 'bedside manner' so their patients are comfortable enough to communicate with them properly! This doctor is therefore failing in their job and this is not your fault. Definitely ask to see another once your week of self-cert is up.

Suzy - sorry to hear you are going through this. Unfortunately IME, when you are the type of person who works hard all year round and takes their job very seriously, you tend to be the type of person who is affected by a disproportionate amount of guilt when you do have to take some time off. I have been through exactly the same thing this week myself. I teach in an HE college and came down with a really bad virus so had to cancel 3 courses which meant sending near to 400 students home. On Tue I had to go into hospital to try and bring my raging temp down and I remember crying on the way there - but not because of the possible damage to my 20 week bub - but because I was receiving abusive text messages from the woman in charge about them needing more notice to cancel classes! It was only the next day when I began to feel better that I realised the absurdity of the situation and I have told them to sod off and find cover for the rest of the term. Now I know you don't need to be that extreme (!) and I know its so much easier said than done but do really try not to give a damn about whether or not people think you are skiver. Do you think most bosses would go in if their health/child was on the line. Would they sh*te! You look after yourself xx

I agree that it doesn't sound that your GP was very sensitive and I am sorry to hear that.

But they are not allowed to sign you off (or they shouldn't if they do) for the first 7 calendar days. Your sick note is the SC1 or SC2. If your employer is insisting on you having a note (when legally they do not need it) then your employer can pay for your GP to write a private sick note. Usually when this is highlighted to the employer they don't want one quite so much.

This is because if everyone who needed time off asked for a note via a drs appt then they would be over-run with appts with people who don't need to see a doctor (for example with a horrid cold or d&v) needing notes.

The vast majority of GPs in my experience, both professionally and personally, would be very sympathetic to a pregnant woman requesting time off work and I have never known one to be refused (first 7 days notwithstanding)

I do hope you are feeling better soon and I'm really sorry you are having such a rough time at the moment. I can empathise as have vile MS/ nausea and am finding work difficult too.

Oh, sorry - I meant to explain: the reason that I wrote the above was because someone had advised you to phone the GPs and demand a same day appointment to get a note and I wanted to explain why that wouldn't help, unless you feel medically that you need to see a doctor to be assessed from a medical perspective in which case obviously you should ensure you are seen.

Oh - I can see having read the rest of the thread properly that you have already sorted it! Hope that you feel better soon, and agree perhaps see a different doctor next time.

Thanks again for all the comments, I am finding them very helpful!

stripeywellies I totally understand where u are coming from re:work guilt! I feel so bad for dropping my collegues in it, and I am aware that my work (assessments etc) is just piling up. That is the main reason why I wanted a note as opposed to self-certifying, so that the decision was taken away from me! (maybe I am just being a baby!)

pirateparty that is interesting what you say about drs not being able to sign ppl off until the 7 days of self certification is up. I thought this may be the case from the way the dr was talking, but alot of other pregnant women seem to be signed off from their first meeting with the docs.

I just hope that if I feel this bad next week then they will sign me off, as ringing in every morning is awful, and I am finding it hard to rest as I am worrying about work (are they all slagging me off, when will I have to return, etc).

Anyway, sorry for the ramble, thanks again everyone.

When i got signed of doc said I could self cert if I wanted or if I thought work would be arsey then she would write me sick note. I went with sick note. So maybe they're not allowed to but they do write them fir first 7 days.

I don't know what your employer's sickness policy is but I imagine it's fairly similar to most local authorities' policies. It might reassure you to know that pregnancy related illness doesn't count when calculating days off sick and you can't be disciplined for pregnancy related absence. I know that doesn't stop the pressure and bullying from the school though! It might be an idea to ring your employer's HR department and just explain that you need a bit of support and the school aren't providing it. Usually HR are very good about making sure they comply with legal requirements.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

It is true about the sick notes. My GP will never issue one before one week either.

In my 1st pregnancy I worked shifts including nights and when I felt I could no longer do it I asked my GP to sign me off but she was very reluctant and said she didn't see the problem. I regret not pushing it more as my DD was born very small with IUGR and needed to be in SCBU. I had no other risk factors eg smoking or high BP so I feel sure the stress was responsible.

Please, please don't be fobbed off for the sake of your baby. No job is that important. If you feel unwell it is your body telling you that you need to rest. Definitely go back and see a more sympathetic GP.

mamadoc thanks fr your advice, and sorry to hear about your DD. It is hard to realise sometimes how stress will affect out little ones, but I agree it is not worth the risk. I have spent the last 2 days sleeping non-stop, so must really need a break.

galicgirl I am pretty sure that any sickness during pregnancy is not counted on my record. I really hope so anyway, as I may look for a new job after maternity leave.