getting signed off sick, help please!

[suzym1984]

Evening ladies!

I am currently 25 weeks pregnant and really struggling with work. I am a teacher at a very challenging school (lots of ADHD and autism in my class) and I am finding the long days very tiring. I never get breaks and hardly ever eat any lunch, so I am on my knees at the moment. Also, my 'morning' sickness never really went away, and I have now been told that for health and safety I am not allowed to eat in the classroom (so no food for me all day then!)

I would like to go and see the dr to get signed off for a week or so, just to get some rest and hopefully feel more human. Also feel like the stress is making my MS worse.

But.....what do I say?? If i ask for a sick note will he think I am a big skiver? What if he just says it will get better with time, etc? Think I might crack if I keep going the way I am!

Thanks for reading

suzym1984 IME the GP will sign you off without turning a hair. on both my previous pregnancies I was exhausted by this stage and was signed off for 2 weeks, without having anything "specific" wrong except being pg.

honestly GPs are used to seeing worn out pregnant women with too much on their plate. work sometimes just has to be the thing that gives. try not to feel guilty, you are obviously a responsible person or otherwise you wouldnt be so concerned about it, we know you are not a skiver :)

If I were you I'd find it difficult not to tell my boss that his lack of support is the reason you are contemplating seeing your GP to be signed off.

Maybe this would convince him that having you around most of the time is better than you being absent.

You are being more patient with him than I could ever be. Remember this is not only about your health but your child too!

Good luck.

And tell him he is in breach of his precious H&S regulations by not giving you your risk assessment which you could use as part of any grievance you may wish to raise at a later date.

I wouldn't think twice about going to the doctor to be honest.

I had SPD and a very difficult pregnancy (twins, resulting in one stillbirth). By 25 weeks I was finding teaching so difficult hat my GP suggested being signed off sick. I went to my headteacher and told them this, but made it clear that I really wanted my exam classes to pass, and as I was the only teacher of a certain subject this couldn't happen without me. He agree to let me "work from home", going in only for those important lessons (about 8 hours per week). I was so incredibly grateful for this resolution and it suited us all well, as they got me for when it was really needed, the kids all passed :) and I had the time I needed.

If, however, he hadn't been so accommodating, I would have been signed off for the rest of the pregnancy without a second thought.

Now, after the horrific experience of the stillbirth, I am absolutely convinced that nothing is more important than the health of your children. If you are not healthy, they won't be. So think of that, and give yourself the break that you so clearly need.

Take care. :)

I'm a part time teacher and I started in a new school this September (when I was about 22 weeks). Within two weeks I was given a risk assessment and I was told not to do break duty. I was told if I ever need to go to the loo and there isn't a TA in the class (though I often do have one) I should call someone. Everyone keeps checking if I've eaten and the deputy keeps saying "Go home and put your feet up" and I'm very well. They're being super lovely to me (especially considering I'll be leaving them in the lurch soon) but really they're only doing what's required of them. It really baffles me why people treat their staff so badly -surely it makes sense to hang on to experienced people rather than being run ragged and ending up quitting or going out on leave?

Suzy you sound like you're having quite a rough time of it and your employer is really unfair. I teach in a secondary school and keep food in my cupboards to snack on as and when needed. At no point has anyone told me this is against health and safety. Yes children have allergies but I'm not offering to share.

Go to your GP and get signed off. I don't know how your are managing your duties since I am under strict instructions of my physio not to stay stood up for long periods of time. I have 1 duty a week and have a wall I can sit on to do it.

Hi Suzy,
When you go to your doctor, could you ask for a fit to work note, instead of a sick note. I believe these have now replaced sick notes, (I haven't seen one - & not really sure how they work), but i believe they are supposed to be details of what you need in order to be able to work, rather than just signing you off.
If you employer is unable or unwilling to give you what the doctor says you need, you have to go off (and you can do so knowing that that it was in their hands).
Enjoy half term and i hope you feel better after a rest, whatever you decide to do.

Thanks again for all the replies, I am genuinely touched by your concern.

estya I will ask about that when I make my appt, thanks.

Half term now thank God! So I will see how I get on after half term and see what the doc says. I am just pleased that you all think my employer is being unreasonable, and I'm not just a wimp!

Will report back after half term

Ok, well after half term nothing is better and I am actually off today as just feel so sick and exhausted. Going to try and get a drs appt later today to see if they will sign me off. Wish me luck!

lots of luck - I'm sure you will be signed off. Your employer sounds like a total ar$e. Sure you will feel loads better for some rest

Well the doctor just said to self certify for a week if i "felt i couldnt cope" and made me feel so stupid! I sat there crying and she just said that she wouldnt want me to be off work for any length of time! I am sat here crying now and cant stop, feel very low

Poor you - could you try self-certifying for a week and then towards the end of the week go to a different GP (assuming they have more than one in the practice you're registered with) who might be a bit more sympathetic?

Ugh! That sounds awful. That was me exactly in my previous pregnancy. I felt obliged to work through my HG and it was madness. My then employer was horrible and I was stressed, which made the sickness worse. Even when I was hospitalised (a few times) my boss was challenging me asking when exactly I was off sick and when am I returning. I felt like all my colleagues must think I'm so lazy when in fact it was just bad management! Went to see doctors many times but most of them weren't overly helpful until I finally (at 11 weeks) saw one who signed me off for around 6 weeks in the end. So don't be put off, sign yourself off for a week then go back and see another doctor. Unless you suddenly feel significantly better, you need the time off.

I'm not sure if because having my DC now makes me see that the bump inside me is a 'real person', but I'm taking much better care of myself this time and definitely not letting work get to me (I try really hard anyway). I've also now got a lovely boss and colleagues so that also helps. If anything happened to me or the baby, work might sympathise a little, but wouldn't really care apart from the 'inconvenience' of having to get someone to cover me for a while. I work really hard, too hard the rest of the time, so whilst pregnant, I'm going to be a little selfish with regards to looking after myself and bump. Hope this helps..

Thanks for the messages!
I dont really want to stay off without a dr note as my work arent understanding about sickness at all, and feel like a skiver. I cant believe how mean she was to me, I was literally bawling my eyes out and she was so unsympathetic, just kept askig if I had any pain when I wee and would I please leave a sample at reception! I dont see what that has to do with anything!!!!!

Sorry you've had a really unsympathetic boss and now doctor Suzy. Only you know how bad you feel, so make an appointment to see another doctor next week. I'm surprised she didn't sign you off there and then.

Like everyone else has said, you're employer is in breach of health and safety regulations, so make sure you're writing all of these down just incase. I can't believe you're expected not to eat all day!

I work in a very busy profession myself, and sometimes have back to back appointments all day, with the odd crisis thrown in. So appreciate how hard it is to grab food on the go.
I've been signed off sick with hyperemesis since 6 weeks, I'm 12 weeks now. I had it in my first pregnancy also, and was back in work 5 days after coming out of a long hospital stay. Looking back I can't believe I did that. I got no thanks from work for it, and they doubled my workload. Hence I'm not going back til I feel 100% recovered for a few weeks.

Some work places will just take take take. It's up to us to take ourselves out of that situation. Although I do remember the guilt from my first pregnancy. Look after yourself and you're baby. Best of luck and much love x

Go back and ask to see another Doctor. You sound like you really need a break. I was signed off due to sickness/nausea from about week 9-12 and my doctor offered me the sick note. I've been back at work since and I'm now 21 weeks.

I started my own thread on here yesterday- work related stress @ 21 weeks. I had a pregnancy risk assessment carried out but IME it was just a box ticking excercise and has not really helped me in any way. My issues are regarding workload.

Do you have a union?
Do the self cert for a week and please don't feel guilty. I might be doing the same myself if my employer doesn't start taking my concerns more seriously.

Go back and ask to see another Doctor. You sound like you really need a break. I was signed off due to sickness/nausea from about week 9-12 and my doctor offered me the sick note. I've been back at work since and I'm now 21 weeks.

I started my own thread on here yesterday- work related stress @ 21 weeks. I had a pregnancy risk assessment carried out but IME it was just a box ticking excercise and has not really helped me in any way. My issues are regarding workload.

Do you have a union?
Do the self cert for a week and please don't feel guilty. I might be doing the same myself if my employer doesn't start taking my concerns more seriously.

So sorry - your doc sound very horrible. I am shocked tbh, and sad for you since you clearly need the time off.

Definitely self cert, don't let your work pressure you, employers can be very good at that - you don't owe them your or your baby's health.

Take a week off - you will feel so much better and probably be able to see things more clearly as well, it's very hard when you are in a daily routine to put yourself first, but you have to do it.

Join a union, and put all your concerns in writing to your union rep.

Your doc is an ass. I went to docs because I was so sick and exhausted and she didn't hesitate tomsign me off for a week. Even asked if I wanted longer and basically said mywork could stuff it if they didntmlike it! Go see a different (more humane) doctor xx

so do you think I should ring back the doctors surgery and ask to see another dr? Not sure if they will give me another appt. I just feel so down now and utterly exhausted, I really wanted to just get this sorted out, not have to ring in work every morning and have a guilt trip laid on me.

Yes I do. Phone and ask for different doc or get your midwife on the case.

Suzy waves from Feb thread - have left message for you on antenatal thread but incase you don't check it yes ring doctor, demand appt today with another GP or if they're there a midwife. Tell them how ill you are, tell them you want a sick line for 2 weeks, if they refuse, ask then and there who you complain to, who you take it up with etc. They are being (close your ears everyone) wankering twunts.

Good idea about phonin midwife, would rather do that then have to speak to my GP receptionist twice in one day! Feel like I will just crying down the phone!
Will I just explain to the MW that I'm feeling sickly and unwell and am trying to get hold of a sicknote so I can have some rest? Will that be ok?
Cant believe what a bloody ordeal this has become!

My sis is a teacher and one of her staff is PG..I enquired as to what they have done to make it easier for her and she said they have changed the timetable so she is in one class room for most of the day to avoid all the jostling in the corridors, she has regular breaks etc

Your school is being totally and utterly unreasonable and as someone who had HG with this pg (am now 20 weeks) I know the importance of rest, minimum stress and eating little and often

Call the Drs back today and request a different Dr. I would also ring midwife and explain what is happening

If the Drs get stroppy with you, tell them that you are worried about the baby if you carry on and you need to rest before you end up in hospital - that should put a rocket under their arses

Grrr at how stupid some workplaces and Drs are!

Suzy tell midwife that you feel ill and you are worried that stress in work is starting to lead to you feeling very down. Don't hum and ha and say you feel poorly. Post on employment issues re employer, I had a desperate time re accured leave with my employer and that forum really helped me out!!

I have had a quick nosy on directgov and H&E executive websites re your employer issues (especially surrounding meal breaks, and standing too long), if you can, have a look, print out the leaflets, and bring them into work if you need to go in and ask for a quick meeting/chat re the best way forward. I left some leaflets of that type with my employer re leave rights and all of a sudden everything was fixed in about 2 hours Mind you I'm in NI and we're quite arsey shouty about employment rights. Good luck, see you on Feb thread, keep postiong