Is it really that bad?

[Margie32]

Hi everyone,

Would love your honest opinion on the subject of weight gain, specifically mine. Last night the doctor had such a go at me - I'm currently 30 weeks and I've put on 11 kgs (1 stone 10lbs). Admittedly I've been going along at about 1 kg a month until this month, when somehow I've put on 4 kgs. However, all my clothes still fit me and apart from a huge belly, I look pretty much the same as always everywhere else.

He said things like "when are you going to stop fooling yourself" and suggested that we're all the same in our inability to recognise that we're eating too much. I couldn't believe it - you would have thought that I'd just admitted mass murder.

What do you think? Now I'm going to be terrified everytime I see him, because I'm obviously going to put on more weight between now and the birth.

I'm not sure. I'm almost 20 weeks and have put on 14lbs so far. I wasn't overweight to begin with, but have definite fat love-handles now so I think 14lbs has been too much. I think Drs go by standard 'correct' amounts of weight to put on though. If you genuinely feel that you've not put on too much extra fat then ignore him. Anyway, he's a man, what the feck does he know about being pregnany?!?

Hi Margie
I've been told that I mustn't put on any more weight!!! I'm 18 weeks and have put on about 3/4 stone. I have been vomitting constantly for about 14 weeks and have gone off all sweet things. Luckily it's my 3rd pregnancy so I just thought 'thats just silly' and moved on!
With dc1 I put on 3 stone, dc2 31/2. Lost the lot within six months of giving birth. If you are eating sensibly and keeping active then I would try and put it out of your mind.
Also it sounds like it was a man who told you this, def pinch of salt.
jx

Are you in the UK?

He sounds like a nightmare! Can you not see anyone else?

I don't think that your weight gain is excessive to say you're 30 weeks. Every woman is different and every pregnancy is different. I'm 38 weeks pregnant with my 4th and have only put on 4lbs this time but with my first I put on 4 stone!! No idea what I've done differently this time either - I'm eating really well?!
You will put on some more weight but, in my experience, the weight gain slows in the last few weeks - but whether it does or not, the doctor was wrong to have such a go at you - what if you took it all to heart and went and starved yourself? That wouldn't do you or your baby any good!
Keep eating well and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy - and try and see a different GP next time!!

Get a different GP, he shouldn't speak to you like this.

Next time he sees you make sure you get a large mars bars out of your bag half way thru the appointment and start eating it. Seriously, the only way to deal with a doc like this (IF you are eating sensibly/healthily and there are no underlying issues) is to ignore and take the piss.

I would ask to see someone else, what an annoying man. It isn't even policy to weigh women very often now during pg at our hospital - I was weighed once at the beginning, and once half way through by my mw. I am now 40 weeks and have put on between 2.5 and 3 stone, probably slightly more than I would like, but the same as last time, and everyone says I hardly look like I have put on weight elsewhere at all (I know that I have, but it's not much really). So, to me your weight gain seems very normal. Also, I eat healthily and exercise (more cake/biscuits than normal, but hey), and am usually a size 10, so am not concerned at all and neither should you be.

Thanks everyone. Libra, I'm not in the UK, I'm in Spain so what I normally do in situations like that is switch off the part of my brain that understands Spanish and let him rabbit on without taking in what he's saying. But I love the Mars bar idea, I'm definitely going to do that next time.

I think one of the reasons I got so upset is that I know that I've been eating sensibly and taking care of myself, and it was as if he didn't believe me when I told him that. As there are only 10 weeks to go, I'll stick with him until the end of this pregnancy, and then I'll definitely change doctor.

Domesticgoddess, I love the thought of not being weighed again during this pregnancy but here they are obsessed with it, they practically drag you onto the scales the moment you walk through the doors of the clinic.

Thanks everyone for your support, I couldn't sleep last night going over the conversation again and again in my brain and worrying about it. But now I feel much better!

It sounds bizarre, and IMO he was very rude.
I put on 2.5 stone during each pregnancy and no-one questioned it. Your weight gain sounds quite reasonable to me.

Sod him!

Change doctors.

I put on 2.5 stone, and yes, I did eat a lot but it was to keep the sickness and acid at bay.

After DC were born, it just came off without the need of dieting, as I went back to my old eating habits.

I did not change my GP, but refused to be weighed after 32 weeks. You can refuse, you know?

Its funny how people slip into the habit of doing as theyre told.

hi, what a horrible little man! weight is something that is an increasing problem in uk and i believe is something gps like to pick at cos its easy to just point the finger at the large cream cakes than to do tests and investigate and do what they are actually paid to do!! i went to gp 2 years ago about help with weight loss and he told me to stop eating! not, 'what are you eating' 'how much exercise do you get' just 'stop eating' good job im not an impressionable teenager hey?!!

but this is about weight gain in pregnancy. women are different weights, babies are different weights so its expected that are weight gains will be different too. its not just baby either though is it? its the placenta, amniotic fluid, extra blood volume and in my case, my god are these boobs huge!! if going from 38g-38hh wasnt bad enough they are going to get even bigger soon!!

with ds1 i put on just short of 3st, this time (currently 39weeks) i have put on just 15lbs. im amazed and really pleased but i haven't done anything differently. if i want a take-away i will have 1 but i think the biggest thing is that i feel sick most evenings so eat much earlier than usual.

your weight gain sounds 'normal' to me i really think he should've perhaps said 'are you concerned about weight gain at all?' 3plusbumpinthenight is right what if you took it to heart (lets face it, its quite likely with raging hormones) it could really harm you and baby to starve.

dont see him anymore! speak to your mw if he has now planted some concerns. with everything else we have to put up with during pregnancy being told we are fat is just mean!!

i certainly wouldnt mess with a pregnant woman if she really wanted cake, biscuits, crisps, choc whatever!! idiot!!

sorry just read you're in spain but i think the whole weight gain issue is everywhere now isnt it?

What a twat.

I gained 25 kilos with both pregnancies. Second one was in France where the midwives were a bit concerned, but were quite nice about it. I told them that I gained the same in my first pg and lost it all within a year. Same thing happened with my second pg.

I would change doctors, if I were you.

Try using this calculator to see what it says the okay weight gain range is, given your pre-pregnancy BMI and how many weeks you are:
www.gurgle.com/tools/pregnancy_weight_gain_calendar/default.aspx

How much weight it's okay to put on is very individual and largely depends on your pre-pregnancy BMI - ie. if you were overweight to start with then you should put less on than if you were underweight to start with. But personal factors do affect it, such as if your boobs grow a lot (like mine) then you will obviously gain more than if they hardly change.

If you haven't gained weight away from your bump and boobs, I really wouldn't worry too much. Presumably your doctor is checking your FH at every appointment to make sure your bump is a good size for your dates?

He does seem to have been a bit harsh. I'm in France and at the last weigh in had put on almost 3kg since my last visit, and I got a finger wagged at me - I think I've only put on 7kg in total so far (I'm 30 weeks). Every pregnant French woman I see is tiny, actually, every French woman I see is tiny, and when we first went to the doc he remarked how big me and my dh were! But he meant big as in tall and not of a typical French size, not that we were lardy. At the end of the day everyone's different, and as long as you're happy thats what counts. Maybe things will have balanced out at the next weigh in and you'll fit back into their little charts. I do like the mars bar idea tho!

Hi Margie
I just wanted to say that 11 kilos sounds pretty fine to me! Apparently 8 to 15 is considered an absolutely normal range by end of pregnancy and plenty of people put on more than that and are perfectly healthy and careful as well. I don't know how many people have told me that they put on 20kg and lost it all again within 6 months to a year. So it sounds like your doctor is being outrageous!

I know from friends in France that they are much more fussy about weight gain there than they are in the UK. In my last pregnancy I started a size 10-12, and I think I put on 3 stone. Nobody was remotely concerned. I still looked slim and had a big bump, and I lost the weight pretty easily (no special dieting) when the baby was born. Even with the cakes to help breastfeeding .

This time round, I've gained less weight - about 2 stone, but that is because I have gestational diabetes and I have to be honest, even with 2 stone gained, I think that I will end up slimmer when I give birth than I was before.

What I'm trying to say is that I think that they are a bit more fussy in Europe about weight gain than they are in the UK. So I'd take it with a bit of a pinch of salt!

I weighed myself this morning for the first time in 2 weeks and I appear to have put on about 8 lbs in the last fortnight [hshock]! I'm 20+6, though, and I just about fit into the gurgle.com chart still for this stage in pregnancy. I think if you feel like it's all bump plus boobs, and your arms/legs etc aren't any bigger, then you're probably fine. I don't think my thighs are any bigger, but have plans to start swimming and lay off the choccie biccies just in case. I try to eat healthily but have only limited success, so I know I could be doing better.

You know Milla Jovovich, the really hot actress from The Fifth Element? She gained 30kg when she was pregnant.

She looked amazing.

I know this is a really daft, unscientific point but it is just kinda uplifting haha!

How dare he!!! What a horrid man. I have only been weighed once during my pregnancy and I'm now 37+ weeks. I know from my scales that I have put on just over 2 stone but apart from my bump I don't look pregnant! This is my 4th and I have put on the same with each baby and no one has ever made any comments at all. I'm normally a size 8 and have no trouble loosing it afterwards. Take no notice of him and next time ask for another doctor!! Good luck.

PipPipPip I love that Milla Jovovich info! And I love reading all your advice, I am guilty of treating everything my doctor says like the gospel truth and so feeling really bad when he criticises me. It sounds as if Spain is very similar to France in their attitude to weight gain, I wasn't big before, a normal UK size 10-12, but because I'm tall I look like a giant next to all the Spanish women! So I know exactly where you're coming from Fanny75. And Japhrimel thanks so much for that tool, it says that I should be anywhere from 74.9 to 84.6kgs, so I'm well within that.

It's days like this when I particularly love MN, you all speak so much sense Sending big cyber hugs and choccie biccies to all.

Oh gosh no, if I worried about weight gain in pregnancy I'd need medication! I gained 3-4 stone with each of my previous pregnancies ... I weigh around 9 stone constantly so that's a big weight gain and it has always surprised me. However I'm a UK size 10 (though short :) ) and was back to my normal size within max 9 months both times. Am hoping same will apply with DC3.
I think if you have a healthy attitude towards food and don't overdo it then you should be fine. For me I put on a lot early on as I get awful MS that is only helped by frequent eating of stodgey food - and frankly it's better than the alternative which is constant vomitting which I don't think they'd advise when avoidable! When I settle down like now (18 weeks) I go back to what seems to me is a normal pre-pregnancy like diet.

I had my dc in France. I had the same - about 1 kg per month and then all of a sudden 4 in a month.

My mw was a bit concerned as she said it could indicate/lead to gestational diabetes. She said the amount of weight gain was no big deal but the sudden increase was concerning.

But I was fine and in fact had exactly the same weight gain (and pattern) with ds2, even though I ate incredibly carefully during my second pg!

I'm with everyone else, ignore him!

I put on 3stone DS1, then lost 2, then 3more with DS2, admittedly took me a while to lose it all (4st by then) but i did lose it.
Now pg with DC3 and although i am being more careful than i was with DS2 i don't really stress about weight gain, more about growing a healthy baby, worry about the weight issue later :)

My sis lives in France and horrified at my weight gain when she saw me after DS2 "In France they wouldn't let you gain that much weight" & (she is just skin & bones btw).

I have visions of some rugby playing doctors tackling the chocolate biscuit/cake/bar on its way into my mouth