Hi Junebug8,
We went through the same experience a month ago and are still not completely out of the woods now so know exactly what you're going through. We too had declined to have the combined test but like you the scan showed very clearly that the nuchal fluid was raised above the normal threshold - ours was 6.7mm - so they had to tell us.
I was immediately offered and had the combined test, including the blood test and the next day was given a 1 in 6 chance of the baby having Downs Syndrome (although they did point out that this means 5 babies with my results would not have it). My blood results gave us a little bit of reassurance as they were not high risk for the most serious chromosomal problems - Reynolds and Patau Syndrome. We were told similiar things to you - could be nothing, could be a chromosomal problem or could be a heart or other structural defect.
We were referred to St George's Fetal Medicine Unit in London and had CVS a couple of days after the scan as we felt the measurement was so high we needed to know what was happening. Thankfully, we had the quick results (for Downs, Turners, Reynolds and Patau Syndrome) back as clear within 4 days and then the full analysis, also clear in 10 days.
We've since had an early anomoly scan with a specialist at 16 weeks and that found nothing untoward - and the fluid had greatly reduced. We also had an early heart scan that day and all seemed to be functioning fine but it was too small to properly see everything so we have another at 19 weeks (25 Oct). The cardiologist did think the right side of the heart was smaller than the left but said it was still good size and functioning normally so this may be our answer. Hopefully things will be fine when we go back. If there is a heart defect then there is a good chance it will be something small that some babies might be born with and never know about.
I found both ARC and the mumsnet antenatal tests board vital in helping me cope while we were deciding what to do. There were other mums there with very high nuchal measurements who have come out the other side with healthy babies.
I was very worried about the CVS because of the miscarriage risk but for our hospital we were told it was 0.7% - so more than 99% of women having it there were ok. We were lucky in that my placenta was in a very accessible place so there were no problems taking the sample. I didn't watch when they did it, just made a huge effort to keep still, breath slowly and try to relax. It didn't really hurt me anywhere near like I'd expected and I didn't have any pain afterwards (although they do say some women will). I went home and spent the rest of the day in bed and then took it easy for next few days - was off work anyway as I was too upset to go in until I knew what was happening.
Sorry this is so long, but hope it helps. The not knowing is awful and even though we have got the main tests out of the way now I'm still terrified about our next scans, just in case. Thinking of you.
XXX