Are NCT classes just 'buy a friend'?

[Floopy21]

I was going to do the free NHS clases, but people keep telling me 'you meet lifelong friends at NCT, everyone's 'like-minded' (I think they mean middle class). Are NCT classes much much better than NHS classes? (£200 better?) or are you literally paying to get a friend or two? Won't I meet these people at baby massage or whatever anyway? Am I being naive?

Yup, pretty much. If you can afford it, it's worth it for the instant circle of support for around the birth/immediate post natal period. You might get that from other classes, you might not get it from nct classes, but the more you do, the better chance you have of meeting people on your wavelength (middle class or not!).

Whether you'll find a life long friend is another matter, but that's not really the point, it's the support for the first few months that's really helpful.

Look up the recent thread on peoples perception of the NCT to get lots of different viewpoints.
I confess my main reason for doing NCT was to meet people. I did the NHS classes too but they were not at all condusive to meeting new mums, too big, rushed through etc, but they're not the same everywhere.
I did however get a lot out of my NCT classes, and it left me feeling much more confident about birth and early motherhood, and I did meet some lovely people.
I also met lots of mums post birth at my local children's centre, so NCT is not the be-all and end-all of making mummy friends.
NCT worked well for me and gave me what I paid for, but it's not the same for everyone.
Good luck!

Yes I;ve never understood why the NCT classes are so famous for meeting friends. Why does that happen more than at nhs ones then?

At my NHS class there were 30 mums plus about 15 partners, and we were talked at for two hours each session (3 sessions). we could ask questions, but no interaction between attendees was encouraged (such as group work, "tell us about yourself" beyond when your due date was). Noone hung about afterwards, asked about going for coffee etc. But I know it's not like this everywhere. The antenatal classes in my area are designed to give you information about giving birth, no more. There is no attempt to make it a place where you meet other mums to possibly form a mutual support network, not at all. Sad really.

Yes you are right. I didn't want to pay the £100 for our local run private course, but my mum pursuaded me and it was the best £100 I spent as I am still friendly with 2 of the mums, and I didn't know anyone with a baby at the time. I guess it is easy to meet friends at these classes because everyone goes with the same objective in mind - to make some new friends, and so no one is embarrased to ask for someones phone number.

You won't necessarily make life long friends at NCT classes - I didn't. But I know who people who have!! I met most of my pals through baby massage class and at the school gates. Oh and Mumsnet!

Probably worth getting some more details of this and NHS programme to compare before you make up your mind. Also check what dates both sets of courses run and when your d/date is.

The NHS provision on this score was a little sketchy at the time locally and I was glad to have the NCT classes, which IIRC were about £80 for 8 wks (2hr class in the evenings, with partner, in 2005 in the ghastly provinces). I felt that the course stood me in good stead for the labour and birth and beyond.

Oh I did run NCT mum and baby coffee morning (well afternoon in our case) with a pal as a way of giving something back to the wider NCT support system. I found it useful going to a meetup with my DS1 when he was very little and so wanted to help out as well. Your local NCT might offer this or not, but there might be a children's centre locally where staff might offer something similar.

One way or another you'll find someone to commiserate with in those tiring early weeks! Bon chance!

You do get a lot of good advice, and access to information, through NCT classes and activities (e.g. breastfeeding support, playgroups organised for babies (but really for the new mums) etc.) and the group may be 6-8 couples rather than maybe 20 with NHS so you have more time to ask specific questions etc. but for me the main thing was the friendship.

It was invaluable having a group of women who were going through the exact same things at the exact same time. Friends who were further on than me couldn't really remember excatly what this particular phase was like as they were too busy dealing with another phase. So having that group really helped in those early months. I am still in touch with them 2.5 years on and meet up occasionally despite having moved, although the intensity of the friendship is no longer there as we have all moved on a bit. But they were an invaluable group of women in the early days and I will never forget how they helped me through.

I also found that it was easier to bond with the group than it was through meeting people at baby massage etc. - you spend your antenatal classes with them, antenatal teacher made you swap phone numbers and set up the next meet up, NCT organised a postnatal group for us to continue the bonding etc It meant that you had lots of social events with them before you had to start arranging things yourself. If you're a bit shy around new people like me then it really helps to have that structured group thing rather than having to try and swap phone numbers with a mum you fleetingly meet once at baby massage.

Re the like-minded i.e. middle class thing - that may be true dependning on the area you live in, but tbh if you're the sort of person planning to go to things like baby massage etc (like i did) then chances are you'll only be meeting a similar like-minded/middle class group there anyway so NCT is no more classbound than that :o I would say though that nationally NCT does an awful lot to reach parents not in that middle class bracket through e.g. subsidised antenatal classes for lower income mothers, outreach work with prisoners, special teenage mum services etc. So while you personally may only meet middle class mums, your membership fee is actually going to help a wide variety of mothers from all backgrounds.

Our NCT classes cost £280!!!!!!! (that did incluse a years membership.....)

"I also found that it was easier to bond with the group than it was through meeting people at baby massage etc. - you spend your antenatal classes with them, antenatal teacher made you swap phone numbers and set up the next meet up, NCT organised a postnatal group for us to continue the bonding etc It meant that you had lots of social events with them before you had to start arranging things yourself. If you're a bit shy around new people like me then it really helps to have that structured group thing rather than having to try and swap phone numbers with a mum you fleetingly meet once at baby massage."

That makes a lot of sense and explains it I think, thanks

Thanks for your input everyone, seems like NCT's a worthwhile thing to do - will look into classes. I don't really know anyone in the area & could do with a friend or two...will see what the going rate is around here (as long as they don't cost £280 LCOB!!)

Mine is £301!! To be honest I'm really only doing it to meet people too as I know no-one here in Richmond as only moved in Feb. Am also going to pregnancy yoga which starts wednesday so will hopefully meet people there too.

It's a lot of money to meet people but from friends experiences it's a great network of support.

content wise, I have found them totally useless. If you have read the books and spent some time on MN you won't learn anything you didn't already know at NCT. However, our last class is this week and the women in the group have all already met for coffee twice with other meet ups planned, so it has worked from a "buying friends" point of view, which is frankly the only advantage of them so far as I can tell.
If you haven't read any books and aren't very well informed about childbirth then you may find the content useful too.

I have delivered babies so think I am pretty well informed, and I still found them very helpful.

Worth remembering that they do offer substantial discounts to people on benefits or low incomes as well.

I did NCT solely to meet people and my group just did not mesh. Too much of a spread of due dates meant that the first baby was 2 months old before the last came along! They were also scattered around the area, so there was no obvious meeting 'hub'. We're sill vaguely in touch for th odd coffee, but we've been zero support to one another.
Our local NCT was quite poorlyu organised though and no 're-union' was organised.
The content of the classes is a bit laughable, but the breathing exercises were useful.

The NHS classes were great for meeting nice people - someone sent out an email suggesting meeting at a local cafe at the same time as the classes had been (after the classes had finished natch) and we're still doing that 7 months later, along with several smaller get-togethers each week. Content-wise, it covered all you'd need to know.

Do both - hedge your bets!

For me the cliche was true.

5 thirty something first time mums - I was the youngest at 30. All with prefessional type jobs.

Classes were awful but we had time to chat. Nearly 5 years later we still all meet up regularly as a group and I am very good friends with one mum.

NHS we were offered a saturday class that was absolutely packed, no chance to speak or make contacts.

I did gatecrash an NHS weekly thing with my nct friend run by her health centre - once a week for 6 weeks for new mums eg one week baby massage, one week weaning advice etc. The mums carried on meeting up all summer after that.

I've just done an NCT refresher course. Didn't do NCT first time round and though I made good friends (at my bfing group) it took a while and it is harder when you are post baby and knackered.

This course I did mainly to make friends but have in fact got some useful info out of it. Not sure how well we will mesh. It is a large group (8 couples) and due dates are quite far apart but we'll see how it goes.

I didn't want to buy a friend for £250. I did the free ones at the hospital. I regret that now - I have no one at the same stage as me to talk to, and I have a lot of friends with babies / people helping me out, but it's not the same. Buy yourself some new mum friends I say.

Well.... I applied for NCT and got sent the pack, but when I saw the price (£300+) said no thanks.. I went to the NHS classes instead.

Nonetheless, because NCT then had my name, I was invited to the NCT "bumps and babies" group for those due around my due date in my area, so got the "buy a friend" for free! We now meet up every week and I am (ashamedly) the only one who didn't actually pay for the classes, but I stil have all the NCT friends!

Slightly shameful actually... I didn't plan it this way!

One friend when to NHS classes and had a brilliant bunch, another paid the money and when to the local NTC and wasn't best impressed and didn't really met any 'likeminded people'. But I guess it's down to luck and the area....??

I'm moving to East Sheen later this month, should I be joining Richmond or East Sheen NCT's. Which is better?

Like Lulabel27: I'm new to the area and planning to join a few things to meet other mums. I don't think one should just do NTC etc, best to cast a wider net to meet more people, that way one should meet at least 3 or 4 friends.

You can join NCT (~£40 depending on area) and go to all the coffee mornings etc. after birth etc. without having to do the antenatal course - I'm going to do that and spend the money i saved on the course doing a hypnobirthing one!

Our last NCT class is this Thursday and quite genuinely I'll miss it, and more surprisingly I think my husband will too!! My aim from this was to meet people. There are 6 couples in total and I definately think we'll be staying in touch with 2 of not 3 of them. I've got on really well with the girls, but as I say more importantly my DH has got on well with their husbands. Hopefully we can become lasting friends.

The useful information gathered could have been done in a quarter of the time but the chatting and bonding would have been missed. Can't think of anything better I could have spent my HIP grant on!!

You don't have to join the NCT to go to their coffee mornings. If you've made contact with them when you're pregnant or if you've just had a baby, then chances are good you'll get invited to a new mums/babies group in your area. For free. It's how I made most of my friends at the beginning.

I also only really did NCT to make some friends, but I actually really enjoyed the classes and our instuctor sits on a board at the hospital so was able to give lots of local and 'insider' information. As it turns out I don't think I have made any new best buddies but we do meet up and I attend some groups with other mums from the group. In the early months this has been invaluable for me.

Thou if you can't afford it I also met people before and after at yoga and aqua yoga - so this could be a cheaper alternative.

Do the course if you can afford it- like people have said it's an instant circle of other mums who'll all have babies pretty much within a few weeks of yours, are probably all first time mums also etc... Was fab fab fab in the first few months when getting out of the house was such a hurdle- instant extended meet ups at each others houses, practising breast feeding in front of others, comparing tales of woe (realising you're not going mad you're just going the normal amount of madness for a sleep-deprived new Mum) etc.. etc.. a few years later I only see a couple of them intermittently now, but it was soooo worth it for the support I got in those crucial first few months.

Over time I think you meet more like-minded people at playgroups, parks etc... but you will be too addled to form these friendships at the start!