Are NCT classes just 'buy a friend'?

[Floopy21]

I was going to do the free NHS clases, but people keep telling me 'you meet lifelong friends at NCT, everyone's 'like-minded' (I think they mean middle class). Are NCT classes much much better than NHS classes? (£200 better?) or are you literally paying to get a friend or two? Won't I meet these people at baby massage or whatever anyway? Am I being naive?

I made a great group of friends through NCT but probably more valuable for me becasue I had moved to a new area when I got married and didn't really know anyone, I've found baby groups to be a bit clique-y really and 15 months on still see my NCT friends nearly every week and can discuss all sorts of things with them I'd never talk about to others, post bf boobs, post natal sex etc, I have recommended the classes to friends and am really glad I did them, yes the information given was no different to hat I got from my pregnancy books but the support and advice has been well worth the money

et the classes for about £20 if you are on benefits so don't assume its going to be full of middle class people, we were a very mixed bunch with not much in common apart from the babies but whet ever class you are you can get piles so its a good leveller

Thought I'd come in with a thumbs up for the NHS classes. There were only 11 couples in mine and I (at 32) was one of the youngest women there.

At the end of the 2nd class I stood up and asked if anyone wanted to go for coffee (decaf of course). I felt a bit nervous about doing it but 3 women came out and 2 and a half years on the four of us are very close and meet up once a week. So people who are saying that they didn't meet anyone at class, it's like making new friends anywhere, you have to make an initial effort. The content of the classes was mixed but my reason for going was to meet women in my situation. TBH the focus is all on the labour which will happen one way or another. It's what happens after the labour that's the hard bit.

I tried to do a NCT class too over a weekend or evening when my other half could come along but they didn't do any. I have a good friend who did the NCT classes and had a fairly negative experience, possibly just a one off. She found it quite heavy on the (her words) home birth propaganda. And she found the other would be mums were a bit competitive on who was more earth mother. As I say it was one experience and not representative I'm sure. If you have the cash do both as it means you've the best chance of clicking with someone on your wavelength.

I didn't enrol in the NCT course to make friends given I am going to be moving home soon after the birth and hope to make new Mum friends back home. However, I am really glad we are doing them. We are half way through ours and I have learnt a lot and really like the group and the teacher is brilliant. I am feeling much more confident and knowlegeable about the whole labour process. Plus it makes you think about the whole labour process.

So I would highly recommend the classes if you can afford it.

NHS classes in my area: one day at the local hospital. No really opportunity to chat. Good, basic information given out by hospital midwives. Although a photocopied sheet of contact details was passed round, no one bothered.

NCT classes: went over several weeks during the evening, so you got to know the other couples. Excellent teacher who took her job really seriously and made the classes fun and interesting. Afraid it really was the cliche of 8 middle class, professional couples (er, exactly like me). Everyone had gone in order to make friends (one person even said at the first class, when the teacher asked what we wanted to get out of it, that she was "paying for posh friends"!). So everyone made a real effort to get on and arrange coffee / lunch dates etc when we were on maternity leave, and then when we had had our babies.

I honestly think it was much better than just meeting people at baby massage etc because you meet people who specifically want to be your friend, and who you are likely to have lots in common with and get on with. It's quite hard to go up to someone at baby massage and invite them for a coffee - it's kind of like dating!

And my experience of the quality of information and teaching by the NCT was really positive too.

I am still in contact with all my NCT friends from my DD (born June 2008) - we have a joint birthday party for all the children, and a joint Christmas party too (complete with one of the dads being Father Christmas), and we regularly meet up in various combinations. I would count some of them as good, hopefully life-long, friends.

For me the main bonus of NCT was that you were pretty much MADE to keep in touch, at least for a while! I think the deal was something like that the class supporter would host our get-togethers until the youngest baby (DD as it happened) was eight weeks old. After that we met at each other's houses on a vague rota until we started to go back to work. There were eight couples, I think we've lost one couple completely, but there are still links (the children are 6 now) between us all. That said, the one I am mostly still in touch with was my boss when we had our babies - her DD was at nursery with mine, and with the daughters of a few women with whom I did post-natal classes, and THOSE children are now at school together ... there are all sorts of connections and friendships, but NCT certainly helped.

I'm still in touch with my NCT gang 4 years on. We had to work in pairs / teams in our class sometimes and there were only 6 couples over about 6 weeks of classes so we did get to know each other and the teacher sent us all off to the pub halfway through one class.

The classes were useful and we covered c-sections in detail, which was just as well as thats what I ended up with.

Teacher only invited back the mums who had a 'good' / easy birth to talk to the next intake of parents-to-be though .

I regret not doing NCT classes, though I didn't have much choice as I moved house and the classes nearby had sold out - and moving house meant I really could've done with meeting people!

I went to the NHS ones but it was too many people and they were all due to give birth one to two months before me. I tried getting people together via facebook afterwards but it didn't really work out.

I also live a bit far from most of the baby groups here but am trying to make an effort to go to the ones I can. There's an NCT group that I'll go to next time it's hosted locally (it changes venues each week and I don't drive).

So, fwiw, I think they can be 'buy a friend' but that can be immensely valuable. You may well meet someone at baby massage, but if you can afford NCT is just a good way to meet another social group.

Lulabel27 Just wanted to say hi and that we have lots on in Richmond! Most of are activities are for everyone not just members.

We have a welcome evening on 28th which you can come to.

Check out our news and events at our website www.nct.org.uk/Richmond our Facebook page www.facebook.com/richmondnct or follow us on Twitter @Richmondnct.

If you send a blank email to [email protected] with SUBSCRIBE as the subject we'll email you events news.

Other than the classes everything is run by members who offer their time for free so do stick your hand up and get involved if you're bored - it's what I did when I unexpectedly became a sahm and I have made lots of really good friends. On top of the "rent a friends" I made at antenatal classes.

And yes we're all a bit middle class but tbh this is Richmond. And I'm under 30. There are a few of us about

Sorry for butting in do carry on...

Did both NHS & NCT classes when DD1 was born in 2006 - still see most of those on NCT course & keep in contact with all of them via email, even have a shared birthday party with one of them. We met up about once a week in the first six months and having people with children almost exactly the same age as you & with exactly the same issues - what colour poo should they have? Is this (whatever) normal? was so helpful. As another poster said, babies change so quickly that even asking someone with a baby a few months older than your's can be met with a confused look & a "I can't remember"

Would also like to mention the NCT's Nearly New Sales - I didn't go to one until before DD1 was born & there were so many bargains we missed out on. Still volunteer at one now & haven't brought either DD a new pair of jeans or any vests since I began helping out - cheap, good quality everyday items and the occassional groovy bargain (such as unworn party dresses for a couple of quid). Not just clothes but baby equipment & toys usually too.

Highlandlass... East Sheen & Richmond NCT are same branch.

Btw you don't have to be a member to do classes or do classes to be a member. But I have to say I loved my classes and love the support I've had as a member (local mag, online support group, early entry to Nearly New Sales etc) so would recommend both.

If you, or anyone else, have questions about Richmond branch email me at [email protected] and I'll do my best to answer them.

Ok, really am going now

If you're on a low income you can pay less for NCT classes - it's on a sliding scale.

Not only were the NCT classes smaller in group size and longer in duration generally, the teacher made a point of arranging a post natal meet up and got one of the group to offer to host. I'm sure this was not only so that she could see the babies and hear the birth stories(!) but also because she knew that even if we hadn't met up before this it would break the ice. It worked, we met up once a week once the classes ended in Starbucks and then after the reunion got a text from the person's house we met at saying "Hi girls, I have loads of food left over, do you want to meet here instead?" and we've rotated it around each of our houses ever since. Now our boys are all toddlers so I couldn't imagine meeting in Starbucks now! Almost everyone has returned to work full or part time now so the meetings are more haphazard but we try to get together once every few months.

I didn't meet anyone at NHS classes, there were only two and there were about 30 couples there being talked (or perhaps more accurately, whispered) at by a particularly patronising midwife. The highlight was when someone wandered into the room, (well actually, it was a corridor/waiting room in the outpatients department) fainted from the heat and knocked himself out on the fire extinguisher. (Yes, really.)

About half of the pregnant mums (except for the one in a wheelchair) started to waddle concernedly towards him, a couple of the DH's leapt up to help, and the midwife carried on with her whispered lecture for about thirty seconds before noticing.

I attended an NCT course when pregnant over three years ago,I paid £125 (I think) and they were okay, nothing special. I didn't bother with a refresher when I had my DD recently. I am only in touch with two ladies from the class and we see each other every now and again but I wouldn't say we are best buddies at all!

The class I attended seemed very rushed and disorganised, no before or after photos like some do and after the course that was the end of that. I ended up having an emergency csection, and nothing like this was covered in the course, I had to bottlefeed my DS1 as I was not producing milk and of course NCT don't cover bottlefeeding! I found it all very textbook and perfect and of course not all births are like this!

When I had was pregnant with DS I went to NHS classes. There were in the evenings and there were about 6 of them. Also there was a separate breastfeeding course over an evening and also a Saturday morning. I met quite a few people there who I stayed in touch with when our babies had been born.

After DS was born I did also start going to NCT coffee mornings without having joined the NCT. I did join the NCT later on, but there was no need to have done to meet people. I also found that quite a few people had been to both the NHS and NCT antenatal classes.