Anyone due in April 2004?!

[dot1]

Hello!

I found out last week I was pregnant, and although I've not been to my GP yet, various websites and Miriam Stoppard have told me I'm due on March 31st/April 1st! (poor little april fools baby - let's hope it's late...).

I know it's early days, but wanted to start this thread as I've already got lots of questions - like, is anyone else having quite bad pains? I've been getting bad period-type pains, which have been worrying me, but I understand people do get (this is my first pregnancy by the way!).

Right, that's it - hope I get some company soon..!

Sorry forgot to say have NO IDEA about pins and needles thing Dolbear. Although encouraged to hear of at least one pregnancy problem I don;t have ( only joking)

Dot - thanks for the heartburn meds advice - have now get prescription for " something stronger"!!!!

dot1 - my dd was due on the 31st March 02 and she came to weeks early on the 18th so you never know.... best of luck either way

Oooh Lesley76,

Its a good job I wasn't at your antenatal class when somebody said that she didn't mind having an assisted delivery with forceps if it came to it because it doesn't hurt.....I would have either exploded or committed an act of extreme violence!

Although I guess its not the woman's fault that she doesn't know...and lets hope she doesn't have to find out by bitter experience!

It might not be the woman's fault if she doesn't know but surely antenatal classes should prepare people for reality? I am having trouble not being too "know it all" in my ante-natal exercise classes which have lots of first timers. Don't want to be negative but when they ask about childbirth etc what can you say but the truth as it was for you? Yes it f...... hurt, yes second time too, yes I am s... scared of doing it again. No yoga and lavendar oil and warm baths are not sufficient pain relief for most of us. Yes breastfeeding was h... for weeks.

I'm not trying to scare people but I am scared myself still.

(but I still like newborns and am looking forward to having another one, it's not all negative.it's just the birth bit which freaks me out).

aarrgghhh - Fennel! You're scaring me now..!! Although I seem to have got over my fear 'bump' - a few weeks ago I was getting obsessed with it all, now I'm just so keen to get on with it I'm almost past caring...Maybe this is why pregnancy is 9 months long and you get so big and heavy and uncomfortable..?!

Sorry. I am very positive in general about having children (after all am about to have my 3rd, all planned, in 4 years).

No need to worry Dot1 - childbirth can sometimes be 'orrible', but there is always the magical, wonderful, life saving epidural to fall back upon.

My 'dreadful' 24hour ++ assisted OP labour would have been so much better if I hadn't listened to my well meaning but misguided midwife,who told me I was doing fine and didn't need one. It took a doctor to come in and see how desperate I was to suggest an epidural and give me the life line that I so badly needed (i.e. he didn't make me feel a failure for wanting one, and made it okay for me to accept this type of help. The whole thing was sooo much better after epidural.

I guess what I'm saying is that I hope you have a really good labour like most people I know... but if you need it (and you'll know if you get there - you'll want to die and will feel that you can't face another second!)- don't baulk at asking for an epidural. I'm afraid that the dominant ideology in midwifery seems to be against epidural - for no good reason as far as I can see....so you may need to be assertive.

I am not afraid of labour this time around. I will try to labour without epidural, but I know my limits and if it comes to it I will ask for one with calm authority and not be put off by someone who is ideologically resistant to the suggestion

God - hope I haven't made things worse by that long ramble!

Ohhh how frustrating - do people not read. I guess I was really lucky in my antenatal classes as most people seemed to have some knowledge and had talked to other people who had already been through it all.
I think the thing that terrifies me is size of baby - I've posted a thread on childbirth about correlation between size of bump and weight gain and size of baby and unfortunately there doesn't seem to be one which is disappointing.
I heard another very positive story on Tuesday - girl who was about the same size as me and grew about the same as I have so far, waters broke 8.30, went to hospital at 11 8cm dilated, gave birth at 11.30 no pain relief apart from a few paracetemol at the end...her message was it isn't as bad as people make out. Everyone can only hope theirs is like this I suppose.

dollbear the pins and needles could be referred pain from your lower neck/upper back, so could be tension or posture related altering pressure on a nerve. Get somebody to give you a good shoulder/neck upper back rub and see if it makes any difference - just an idea and a good excuse for a massage.

Maybe this is my problem, as well as a failed attempted home birth with no 1 (ending in ventouse which was actually OK not too painful etc or maybe I didn't care by then) I had a crap failed epidural experience with no 2 (3 hour wait after requesting it, then 4 attempts before it worked. total 5 hours from request til pain relief started working). so am reluctant to rely on the possibility of an epidural again. so don't know which way to go this time, neither way worked for me.

See - I make things worse every time I talk/post about childbirth. will have to go and hang out on a "can't stop obsessing about childbirth trauma" thread.

Udar,

I take it that as you have a small neat bump you were hoping for a small neat baby then . I'm sort of glad that size of bump doesn't correlate with size of baby, because if it did I would be on target for at least an 11 pounder!!

Glad that you've got a recent positive birth story to refer to...I think you've got quite a few examples of others as well from a previous thread you did.

I think those of us who had a bad birth experience and are pyschologically scarred by it can be oversensitive about comments on childbirth - I know I am. So I would take issue with the woman you refer to saying "it isn't as bad as people make out" - because that sort of implies (perhaps wholly unintentionally) that some of us are weaklings with low pain thresholds who have exaggerated the whole thing. She would have been better saying "Often you can have a really positive, manageable labour and it isn't necessarily an agonising experience"

Gosh - I really do have buttons that can easily be pressed when it comes to this subject!

Fennel - sorry to hear about your crap epidural experience. The delay was also intolerable. I suppose I was lucky because I laboured at the hospital I worked at...and it shouldn't work like this...but perhaps because of that I got a consultant anaesthetist to do mine, and they pitched up within 15 minutes of the request.

although this is my first, I did have to witness dp going through the most horrendous labour - which definitely scarred me - I was sure I had PTSD for a while afterwards..! She also had a failed epidural - by the time the 2nd one was in it had been 4 hours of hell from the time of trying the first one... But I take comfort from the fact that she's very hazy about it all now (even if I'm not!), so the sharpness of the memory must go away?!

And there's always my friend popping hers out on the hall floor to think about!!

We'll be fine - have to be - no stopping it now...

Dot,

It must be hard to watch a loved one go through it. My usually extremely 'no nonsense' dh was in tears at one point.

You're right though - there's no going back now. Plus its all worth it in the end!...also I've got a couple of friends who appeared to just cough slightly and then deliver a baby!!!(maybe exaggerating, but they did have dream labours)

It's true it's worth it in the end. I was helped in labour with dd2 thinking about how lovely dd1 is.

Agree with HMC it's fine for people to say labour can be manageable and an OK experience but also to acknowledge it's often not.

I think the sharpness of the memory goes away until you are about to do it again! hence my panicking. As the due date approaches I am retreating into obsessing about work to displace my anxieties.

Agree totally HMC - I took that comment to imply that it can be OK. I've heard a couple more positive stories too lately. I suppose everybody has that same worry in the back of their minds about the 3 day labour - but there isn't much you can do about it now - it has to come out somehow.
I am carrying small and neat only just reaching the 9-10kg mark for weight gain which was why I was so hopeful that there would be a correlation -oh well.
With the failed epidurals - was there an anaethetist on the labour ward? I asked about the delays during my antenatal classes after reading how long so many people on mumsnet had to wait and was told that apparently there is someone on the ward itself. The midwife said that the only time she can think of where somebody would have had to wait more than an hour would have been during the paddington train crash when all but the basic staff from St Mary's were attending to victims. It was a little reassuring to hear that there aren't usually delays.

Udar - was lurking on your thread about size of baby & was very disappointed too!! Like you I've only gained about 9 or 10kg and was hoping to have a wee but not too wee baby! Also I look small (to others but i feel HUGE) but I suspect that's just because the baby is the wrong way round - usually transverse i think? It does mean no breathlessness as i still have a big space below my boobs & I only get kicked in the bladder or the side and not the stomach or lungs!!! I have no idea why the baby can turn around from across the way to feet down with ease but never goes head down. Cant think where it gets this pig headedness from...............must be DH

lesley have you been doing foetal positioning? Things like making sure your knees are always below your hips when sitting...I particularly like putting my chest on a ball (have an exercise ball at home) and kneeling on a cushion so I'm sort of in crawling position but quite supported. Positions like this are supposed to make the baby turn head down...I've been trying to keep these positions going since 27wks and the baby has almost always been in cephalic position (head down).

With my epidural it was about 4am and the anaesthetist had just gone off to do a caesarian. that took him ages, then he took an hour's break for a meal. Guess he's entitled to his breaks but feel they should have had someone else on call for such things. then we had 3 failures which each took 1/2 an hour to be sure it wasn't working. This was at a major city hospital, I suppose it just happens.

In one way it's good to remember that just as my NCT teacher said, epidurals do not necessarily solve everything. I actually would rather rely on gas and air this time.

If all goes right - I'd like to try for a waterbirth as a first option so if that works out ok won't have to have an epidural - I suppose it is just checking out all the options isn't it.

I hear good things about waterbirths and how naturally pain relieving it is...

When I had an epidural the anthesetist took ages to come too. I think I had a good 2 hr+ wait but I had been warned about waiting so made sure I asked for one as soon as I could. Luckily for me the epidural did work = only right at the end it wore off in one section, so I emded up finishing off with gas and air. DD was born with the aid of a ventouse. This time around I want to see how far I can go with gas and air. I don't wasnt to have an assisted delivery like last time = but at the same time I am not ruling it out as I am a chicken when it comes to pain One thing goodI thought about having an epidural though is that you have a midwife with you all the time which I found very reassuring. I think though if you do it on gas and air alone the midwife is only with you in the second stage.

Yeah!!! Last day at work!!!!! Can't believe it's finally here - still in denial about having a baby at all..!

I'm taking a lap top home but probably won't have the chance to MN as much - what with moving house and a toddler around (plus all that sleeping to do..!), so I hope everyone keeps well and I hope to post soon!

Congratulations Dot on your house move and, best of all, last day at work. Hope your colleagues are taking you out for a meal & a drink to celebrate.Do keep us up to date.

dot1 - good luck and have fun making the new house your own.
Good luck with everything if you don't manage to get back on - see you in the 'birth announcements' or 'March or April' baby thread.

Metrobaby - where I work women have a midwife with them all the time, no matter what pain relief (or not) that they have. It is a standrd that all maternity units are working towards 1:1 care in labour but ofcourse there are some areas with midwife shortages. Hope all goes well.

Thanks mears - you've made me feel a bit better. I must admit I found having the midwife with me more reassuring, and less annoying than DH

However, I do remember when I was in the labour ward with dd - before I had the epidural - the m/w would pop in and out intermittedly, and only stay for a few minutes. I'll ask about this when I see my m/w at my next appt as I don't know if there are any shortages in my hospital.

Dot1 - enjoy your last day. I'm sooo jealous. Wow - you really are on the home stretch now. Enjoy your ML - take as much time as you can to put your feet up, and nest in the new home before the new arrival