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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Breast feeding = clingy babies?

29 replies

getstuffed · 07/08/2010 08:17

DD flatly refused last time and admittedly I didn't know my a*rse from my elbow, for various reasons, so off we went with the bottle and all was well.
34 weeks and I am gonna give boob feeding a good try again this time but I wondered what was general consensus on bf-ing re-above.
Do people think (and it's kinda logic I guess if bubbas are basically stuck to you every two hours for a long periods of time) that bf babies do tend to cling/only settle/cry for mum etc? Does this mean dads miss out a bit?

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lal123 · 07/08/2010 08:21

deemented · 07/08/2010 08:25

No, not at all.

DD, now 2.3 was breastfed until she was 22 months and she is such a daddys girl. DS3 is nearly seven months and has a really good relationship with daddy too.

There are so many ways for dad to get involved - changing time, bathtime, bedtime that there's no reason for them to feel left out at all.

D0G · 07/08/2010 08:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kity · 07/08/2010 08:39

Not at all in my case. I fed for 7 months and my DS is now 2 and very much a Daddys boy, he's never ever been clingy and Im told no one ever felt left out when we were feeding.
DS was weaned at 6months and everyone else can get involved with that so you are not sole provider of food.
HTH

Tillyscoutsmum · 07/08/2010 08:40

In the early days it is true that you will be the one that is able to settle the baby easier but there are plenty of other ways for dad to be involved. We had a "I'm responsible for what goes in and DH deals with what goes out" rule. Great for avoiding nappies !

It is for such a short period of time and does not effect "clinginess" in the medium/long term ime. FWIW, the clingiest dc's I know were both bottle fed since birth.

mamasunshine · 07/08/2010 08:53

No not at all, at first maybe seems like it, but only because they're actually hungry!! My 2 are very confident, happy boy's who will talk/play with anyone!

Porcelain · 07/08/2010 09:04

Nope, possibly the opposite, as studies show that babies that are cuddled and held more are more secure and less clingy in the long run. Babies are far too little to be spoilt, they don't have the brainpower for it.

belgo · 07/08/2010 09:04

No.

Original poster

getstuffed · 07/08/2010 09:09

Just wanted to get some feedback, cheers ladies x

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thesecondcoming · 07/08/2010 09:31

This reply has been deleted

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TrinityRhino · 07/08/2010 09:37

all three of mine were bf
all three of them are strike out into the world and go for it kind of girls

and they were all daddys girls

mummytosquidgies · 07/08/2010 10:09

I bf'd DS until he was 2,
At the beginning he was obviously more "clingy" to me as I was his source of food, and his main source of comfort. But I wouldn't consider a newborn clingy just for wanting their mum.
As he got older he got more and more independent and now (age 3) he's such an outgoing little boy, and definitely a daddy's boy!
DH also never felt "left out" because I breastfed, he was happy to do other things, didn't need to give him food to bond with him. I've had this arguement time and time again with my mum about me being selfish for feeding him and should let someone else have a go and bond with him why do people feel they have to feed a baby to bond with it?
Sorry, went off a bit there didn't I! But no, I don't think breastfeeding equals clingy babies.

Porcelain · 07/08/2010 11:13

I think a newborn has every right to be "clingy" with his mum. After all it's not just food and comfort, they rely on their mum for survival, she's their best hope of staying alive!

peppapighastakenovermylife · 07/08/2010 11:26

I co slept, breastfed on demand, carried in sling etc etc with both mine for the first 6 - 9 months ish.

They then got plonked in full time nursery, went in their own rooms and were gradually weaned off the breast (although I did feed for 18 months, just morning and night).

They are the least clingy children I know. Seriously, some days I would prefer them to be more clingy! DS is now 4 and DD 2 and I could count on one hand the number of times either has even cried briefly at me leaving them in nursery or with someone else. They are the first off to play with other children, exploring wherever they go and DD in particular is a real Daddy's girl. Both prefer to sleep in their own beds than mine - I tried to get in to DS bed the other night to give him a cuddle and he strictly told me to get back and into my own bed!

So, really, no!

thisisyesterday · 07/08/2010 11:29

well.... babies are supposed to be clingy. they're supposed to need cuddling and feeding a LOT, and need your security

my first was bf to 4 months, then formula fed.
my subsequent 2 have both been exclusively breastfed

all 3 are incredibly independent and secure in the knowledge that I am always there for them if they need me.

I asked dp if he felt he had "missed out" or had trouble bonding with any of them and he said no, not at all. there are plenty of other things a father can do

Ladyem · 07/08/2010 11:34

I BF both of mine. DD was completely uninterested in me if I wasn't feeding her and only wanted her Dad (she loves me now though at 3.5yo!!) and DS is the total opposite and will go mad if I leave the room (he is 11.5 months).

I think they are all different and the feeding aspect doesn't determine how much they will favour one parent over another, so I wouldn't worry about it too much!

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

HotSprocket · 07/08/2010 11:48

Not at all.

My dd is 3.5 months, only ever been breast fed. She is the least clingy baby possible. She will only let me cuddle her when she is feeding, apart from the rare occasion she falls asleep on me.

When she was brand new obviously she was a bit more clingy, but even then she has only ever wanted to sleep in her basket and was equally likely to be soothed by me or dp.

picc · 07/08/2010 12:04

No.
and what Porcelain said...

Candinha · 07/08/2010 20:25

Good luck with it it is the best thing ever . I used to bf and then give DH the babies to settle while I slept for a few hours so they got plenty of daddy cuddles right from the start.

DomesticG0ddess · 07/08/2010 21:08

No, I agree with all the things people have said here. I would say however, that breast feeding them to sleep as they get bigger can cause problems in settling - I know 2 mums who have to basically go to bed with their 2 and 3 yr olds. But that's because of the routine they got into.

clouddragon · 07/08/2010 21:19

no - just make sure they occasionally go to their cot/moses basket with an eye or two open so they don't rely on you to sleep.

But babies can't be clingy, toddlers can, not babies. Babies just need to be cuddled.

MumNWLondon · 08/08/2010 19:25

No, DS2 is EBF (3.5 months) and is happy to lie under babygym, settles well in cot, happy to lie in pram all day.

I think breastfeeding to sleep is not a great idea though.....

Original poster

getstuffed · 08/08/2010 19:33

Thanks for all the advice ladies, biggest thing is not to bf to sleep in the later stages I think.
I want to bf and express but I am gonna really need to get bf-ing established first.

OP posts:

AppleAndBlackberry · 08/08/2010 20:54

Really breastfeeding can be fairly quick anyway after the first couple of months so I can't think there's much difference in the amount of time a bf vs ff baby spends being held by it's mother (assuming the father works most of the week). My DD wasn't very clingy as a tiny baby, more so from about 8 or 9 months but she's very happy with DH so it's not a preference for me as such, probably more about temperament than feeding method (I bf her to 10 months).

KernowMother · 08/08/2010 21:21

My two sons were both breastfed and they have always been (now 5 & 6yo) the most confident, emotionally secure, adventurous and unclingy babies / children. Very little separation anxiety at any stage.

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