Pleeeeease help. This is turning into a nightmare - I feel mean - dd is thirsty, but we have to crack her being dry at night

[moodlum]

DD is nearly six, and is still in pull ups at night. She seems to have no concept of when she needs to go for a wee at night. I've tried (much against my better judgement) lifting her (twice last night) but surely that is counter productive? It doesn't teach her the right thing to do surely?

Today I made it clear from breakfast that she wouldn't be able to have a drink after bathtime at 6pm. She is now wailing because she's thirsty. She's had a lot to drink today, so I think she's putting it on, but it does feel mean depriving her of water.

How do I crack this? How did you do it? Shall invest in those £90 pants that set off an alarm when wet?

TIA

if she is thirsty then give her a drink.
if she isn't ready to be dry at night then she won;t be ready regardless of how much she has to drink

agree with thisisyesterday

some children don't have the physiological readiness for being dry at night until they are older

you cannot deny her a drink

if she has no drink for 12 - 13 hours, she is goign to feel awful

i thikn it is quite mean

being dry at night is not about how much she has drunk
give her a drink if that is what she needs

she will be dry at night when she is ready
its a hormonal thing not an empty bladder thing

Hiya. My DD is also 6 and also still in pull-ups. I lift her when I go to bed and she is sometimes already soaked. But I am chilled about it cos went through exactly the same thing with DS. He finally got it just after his 7th birthday. Suddenly something clicked and his bladder started waking him up. Like a switch, not a single accident after that. It's awful cos if they want to do sleepovers and stuff and you/they feel they can't, but my feeling is that it's better not to restrict water because then you might start getting infections and then there's real trouble....

Seoond what thisisyesterday said.

Good God, you can't deny her a drink.
It;'s not about witholding fluid it's a bout bladder control.

Really, what you are doing is cruel.

It's a hormonal thing. If the 'wake-up-when-you-need-a-wee-trigger' hasn't kicked in yet there's nothing you can do about it. It's even be considered a problem until 8 yrs old.

Denying her a drink strikes me as being quite cruel.

if she is six, and has no idea when she needs to go, then its rather cruel of you to expect her to be dry at night just because you want her to be. anything under seven isnt even considered a problem medically.
my advice? do nothing. other than invest in a couple of good mattress protectors, at least four sets of bedding, and show her how to use the washing machine. she can put the wet stuff in the wash in the mornings, and help you make the bed later in the day. say nothing negative to her, and let time take its course. this is something that usually sorts itself out as they grow older. when she is seven, by all means go to the doctor, but whatever you do, dont be negative about it around her. its not her fault.

to make an analogy, would you stress at a child with SEN not walking properly?

OK. I'll give her a drink. I don't honestly think she's thirsty (she's perfectly happy now), I think she's just trying it on, but I can't deprive her if she is, so I will stop trying to do something that she isn't ready for.

But at what point do the NHS consider this a problem and start referring to the enuresis (sp?) clinic?

Thanks all.

Please don't buy those pants. My sister had an alarm thing when she was younger because she wet the bed, and it wok the whole house up and didn't help her at all.

IMO, if she isn't embarrassed about wearing pull ups to bed, then I'd just leave her. My DS1 was dry through the day from 2, but didn't come out of nappies at night until HE decided to at 4. I tried a few times myself but he still wet the bed.

If you are still wanting to get her out of pull ups, then lifting is a good start, it will help her get used to getting out of bed after a few hours sleep if she needs to go to the toilet.

Not before 8 yrs old I think.

Good advice from Stitch.

One of mine was 9+ before dry at night. Nothing wrong just took longer than the others.

7

Hold on hold on Timothy and moodog....

using the words "I feel mean" and "it does feel mean depriving her of water" would surely suggest to even the most casual of observers that I was not being cruel.. Clearly I felt was I was doing was wrong, and I wanted advice on the alternatives. Hence the use of the phrase "how do I crack this?"

Don't for one minute think I would deprive a thirsty child of water? Jeez.

Please give her a drink. Being dry at night has absolutely nothing to do with how much she has had to drink. Yes, if she's drank more, she'll wee more but if she not ready then her bladder will not go dormant and stop producing urine in the night and she will still wet even if there's not a lot.

Give her another year before you start to worry. DS is almost 6 and although he is dry at night (since 5.5 so not early) I know at of 3 other children in his Y1 class who are still in pull ups at night. It is not as uncommon as you might think.

your OP read like you would not be giving her a drink as you thought she was trying it on and you have been telling her since breakfast she can't have a drink after a certain time, so i thbink it was fair enough for people to presume, regardless of how mean you said you fgelt, to think you would carry out the no drinks rule

it's around 7 or 8 i think that they'll consider it a problem and look into it further.

Thank you for those reassuring words - that helps. I will put her in pull ups just before she is fast asleep, so that at least we get out of the habit of weeing in pull ups whilst she's still awake just out of convenience.

DS wasn't dry until 7, and this is what we learned from the clinic.

1 - He wasn't drinking ENOUGH. We had to make him drink LOADS more throughout the day - and stretch his bladder a bit? However, NO fizzy drinks and NO juices after about 4pm, just water.

2 - He had to learn to hol on. Whenever he wanted to go in the day, we asked him to "hang on" for 10 mins. If he went as soon as needed he did not learn to feel a full bladder, and to train it to hang on. We also got him to count to 10 whilst at the loo, before letting go.

3 - NO Pull-ups. If his body knew he had them on, no effort would be made. He had to help strip the bed if wet (no recrimonations, just practical help). We tried an alarm but he slept through it.

4 - we had a star chart with small rewards. The chart did NOT say what it was for in case his friends asked! We worked towards bigger treats like New PJs ad finally a sleepover

5- Time. Some kids are not ready. Our clinic would not see you until 7, but they now see you at 6. Before then, too many kids have the same problems and they DO grow out of it.

Good luck

She won't sleep if she thirsty.

Dd1 (6) takes a drink to bed with her (1/2 pint of water) which she often drinks before she goes to sleep (she's dry).

Maybe she's just not ready, a few of dd's friends are still wet at night.

You can't train her.

Her body has to be ready.

Give her a drink.

One of mine wasn't dry at night until 7, another is hit and miss at 6 and the other is wet every night at 4.

I can tell what eneurisis clinic will advise

Throw away the pull ups - they don't help at all and hinder the natural developmental process.

Train the bladder - Child needs to drink often and quite large amounts during the day. Our schedule was - loo + large mug of water at specific times

wake up
breakfast
just before leaving for school
arrive at school
break
lunch
returning home
at dinner
We aimed for 1-2 hourly, easier when not at school. I mentioned our plan to the school and they helped us

Then only sips of water to quench thirst after dinner. If you have drunk plenty in the day, there will be little or no thirst. This will train the bladder to hold larger amounts and make the child more aware of a full bladder

No caffeine drinks (if they drink tea, add an extra water for each cup)
No fizzy drinks, including fizzy water
No red drinks

The child is also encouraged to help with the changing of bed in the night/morning if wet

These things worked within 2 weeks with an 11 year old who had never had a dry night in pull ups

Thanks shiney

And thanks Miliways and partystress for the helpful tips. All good points, especially the no juice after 4pm. I didn't realise that. Also, its a good point about holding on for a little bit longer. I had read that it is important to stretch the bladder and have really worked on gently encouraging both her and ds to drink a lot during the day. So much easier said than done.