How to tackle potty training especially with Carpet

[Karma1387]

Just looking for some advise on potty training a 2 year old boy especially with carpet!

My little boy is almost 2 and I am beyond fed up of the constant battle when it comes to doing his nappy as he hates having it cleaned and hates having it put back on!

I want to start pottt training him once the weather warms up so I am hoping people can give me their best tips and advice!

I have seen the upairy pants which people have said are good but do they actually help?

Also if anyone has done potty training with carpet I would love to know how you coped. I really don't want to have to change to a different floor especially as we will have a new baby as well and my 2 year old is very accident prone so I prefer the soft carpet and its a bit warmer in my freezing cold house. But equally I dont want it to smell of wee.

I don't have a downstairs toilet so we will be using a potty in the living room but at the moment he prefers to use it as a toy!

Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

I have carpets and potty trained 4 DC. Pull ups are good. Just get him to keep sitting on the potty and if he manages to go just give lots if praise but ignore accidents. Even though I have a downstairs toilet I still used a potty until fully trained.

Thank you so much for the reply.

I have heard pull ups arent great for helping them learn they are wet? Do they hold significantly less wee than nappy pants?

How long from starting pull ups was your DC potty trained? How often did you sit them on potty? And how did you get them to sit there?

Sorry so many questions! I'm keen to crack on once its a bit warmer to want to be prepared and have a plan!

You don’t change flooring because you need to potty train a child!
Just stay close to them when the nappy comes off and regularly sit them on the potty as well as looking for signs they might need to go.

The upairy pants are good. I got the eBay cheapy version. They allow the child to feel wet and absorb a fair amount there are no puddles on the floor.

Better then pull ups my DD didn’t seem aware she had been for a wee in pull ups but in the upairy would tell you her trousers were wet.

What if they dont show signs they need a wee if they dont have a nappy on? I did try to do potty training over christmas whilst he was off nursery but he wouldn't give any indication he needed to go so he would be playing and would just wee wherever he was (hence I wondered if I would have to change the flooring)

I was trying to put him on the potty every 30 mins but he wouldn't sit on their naked (will happily sit on there clothed) so he just kept weeing on the floor 🙈 he would help me clean it up but he just wouldn't sit on the potty naked or show signs he needed a wee so I ended up with a lot of wee on the floor.

Yeah I had heard the pull ups didn't teach them they are wet (which i think my son will need to motivate him to use the potty)

How did you convince your daughter to sit on the potty without a nappy on?

I tried the upairy because she didn’t like be bare from the waist down as suggested by Oh Crap.

After a few times of being wet in the upairy pants we became aware of her signals she needed to go to the toilet. She either holds herself or a funny sort of grind.

We also have set times we put her on the potty such as when she wakes up, before we go out, before nap, after lunch. We have a toy potty and often it’s a case of telling her one of her toys need to go. She takes them to the bathroom and we tell her to show the doll how to do it and sit on the potty next to them.

We are 3 weeks in and she does say she needs to go most of the time. On home days she will go all day without an accident.

The first day at nursery had 5 accidents (pack more trousers and pants than you think you need!)

We have the books no more nappies, Thomas the tank potty star and Princess polly potty. We did “ground” work in the few weeks prior reading the books often and talking about what the potty is for and how the big kids at nursery use the toilet.

Thank you for all of this. Could I ask how old your DD is?

She turned 2 just before Christmas

I don't recommend pull-ups.

They're a pita to put on if you have to change them as you have to take off whatever the child is wearing from the waist down.

The biggest issue is that they absorb wetness like a nappy does and feel very similar to nappies, so it's confusing for the learner.

Your best bet is a supply of underwear that's nice and loose (look up what's available) sweatpants that are easy to pull down and up, a huge supply of paper towels, and several bottles of enzyme cleaner.
You will need to watch your toddler all the time. This will be extremely difficult with a baby in the picture too.

In your shoes, I'd wait until your child is actually showing signs of emotional readiness for training. What he's doing now is not that, and if he's fighting unreasonably with you now about nappy changes, he'll very likely be inclined to seize the opportunity to fight you over potty training.

I'd work up to readiness by doing standing changes in the kitchen, keeping a potty in the kitchen and inviting him to use it every time he gets changed (no pressure, but hugs and high fives if he does, nothing OTT).

You can get some little books about using the potty too. There are several on the market.

I'd wait until the baby has arrived and the toddler has accepted that as a fact before trying. Ideally, wait until you're getting some unbroken sleep at night, because your nerves are going to be frayed by the potty training process, and that will feel worse for both of you if you're exhausted. If you're frazzled now, wait til you're battling a toddler over the potty all day every day and trying to get clothing and bedding washed and dried, while also taking care of a baby day and night.

The arrival of a baby is very upsetting for a toddler, too, and introducing potty training into the changed environment is almost guaranteed to make everything more difficult than it might otherwise be.

Oh wow thank you! I had been wondering if its tok early to be looking into it but this gives me hope!

He hates nappies so I am desperate to get him out of them!

I will have to wait until its warmer before starting the pitty training anyway as our house is very cold for pulling his trousers down etc so hopefully we will be settled by then.

The nappy changing is a huge problem which is getting worse and worse. Hes already in nappy pants so we do standing changes when he is willing to but majority of the time I am having to pin him to the floor to change nappy and clothes. This is getting worse not better so I'm not sure about waiting for this to resolve before potty training as we may never potty train if thats the case!

I am also very concious we aren't even at 2 years old and already in size 8 nappies so we only have 1 more size left before they dont do anymore!

If we did decide to leave him until he showed signs of emotional readiness what does that look like? We haven't made any progress in the last year of getting him to be willing to have his nappy done or get undressed/dressed. I feel like if we waited for him to be willing to do that stuff we could be waiting until hes 4 at the rate hes going!

That does not sound like a child who is ready to potty train, sorry to say.

I think you need to buy/ borrow from the library a few books on training, read and digest them all, and figure out how to proceed from there.

There are different approaches, and it helps to feel that you're following one and have some sense of control over the process.

I used a method based on a book called Toilet Training In Less Than A Day, by authors Azrin and Foxx. It took more than a day (!) but the explanation of how the child gets through the process was great, and the method was very well thought out. There's a lot of groundwork to do ahead of the day the nappies come off, and a lot of work from then on too. You would need to be able to devote at least a week to very concentrated effort. If your child goes to nursery, the method followed there would be different and the effect on your child might make training more difficult.

Nurseries tend to have toddlers go to the potty on a timer initially - every 10-15 minutes. Not all of them can spare the manpower needed to watch the timer or negotiate with a toddler who is digging in his or her heels and refusing to interrupt an activity to go. Refusing can become a kind of a game for a toddler to gain more individual attention. It's best to get to the point where a toddler knows his own body sensations at home if possible.

Sorry to sound really silly but how do you know if they are ready?

If the fighting of having the nappy done is getting worse and worse but that isnt a sign of being ready to potty train what do you do and how do you know the signs?

I am having to physically restrain him at most nappy changes and clothes changes. If that behaviour continues to get worse or doesn't improve how do you ever make the move to potty training?

I feel at a bit of a loss as I hate holding him down and him being hysterical multiple times a day just to be clean!

It sounds as if you might need to introduce some bribery into the mix to encourage cooperation.

Cooperation is key to training, and bribery can increase motivation to cooperate.

Does he hate nappies or does he hate interruption to his fun, or hate doing something you want him to do?

When you go out together, does he happily and willingly hold your hand and walk with you, or leave the playground when it's time to go? Is he a bolter? Does he sit for 10-15 minutes to eat or is there a lot of jumping up and running around? Is it just the nappy thing where he fights you or are there other areas where you try to get him to do something and he won't cooperate?

Readiness is shown by waking up dry from a nap, being able to tell you before he poops, showing curiosity about what people do in the loo, enthusiasm about flushing for you if you go to the bathroom together, among other signs both physical and emotional.

I see the carpet issue and the potty as distractions. Grown-ups use the loo in the bathroom so you want DCs to want to copy what they see you doing. Your DS can help choose a loo seat and put it on the loo. Once he starts showing interest in that, it will be time for him to sit on it. Routine matters too - sitting him on the loo when he gets up, after breakfast, before a nap etc. It sounds as though he's not ready yet though.

This is how I did things with my DD. It wasn't planned but she wouldn't sit on the potty, even though it was in the bathroom. My DD did have numerous wee accidents for acouple of weeks but that was it.

I have tried toys, tv, books, even food (stopped food as he kept putting it on his willy or poop 🙈) if he is in a cooperative mood he will fight a little. If hes not I have to physically pin him down and its a nightmare.

I will say apparently nursery don't have an issue at all with nappies!

We have no issues with him leaving places when we ask hes always very keen, gets out of the bath when I say its time, holding my hand he isn't too bad and is improving all the time. But he is a runner! He will happily sit for an hour or two in a restaurant with minimal fuss besides changing who he sits next to.

Its only really the nappy and getting dressed/undressed we have real big battles about. I never give in or let him get away with it but I do often have to hold him down which makes me feel awful!

He doesn't often wake dry from a nap as he drinks a crazy amount of water and naps for 2-4 hours so I don't think he can hold it that long. I haven't really had him in the loo with me besides a few times as I only have an upstairs loo so I don't drag him with me when I pee.

He loves playing with his potty and flushing it and will sit on it when fully clothed but he wony if you take his bottoms off.

I think hes only seen me use the loo maybe 5 times in the last 2 years!

So you are saying that I should take him upstairs to the bathroom to use the big toilet rather than the potty downstairs? Isnt that a bit daunting for them to use such a big toilet even with a seat on it?

And how do you cope doing that with a younger child?

I'm so confused on how you know they are ready? And what you do if they never show signs of being ready? If we get another year down the line and he still wont willingly have his nappy done or get dressed/undressed what do you do then?

I also worry that we are already in size 8 nappy pants and I think they only go up to a 9!

To be honest, toilet training was the one thing I struggled with and what we ended up doing was a matter of me trying to work out what would work for DD. She liked to have a chat when I was on the loo which may be why she was not daunted by sitting on it, and she liked the fish design of the very brightly coloured loo seat. So I'm not saying what you should do, just adding another suggestion : - ) To me, there's something about having the potty in the main living space as a constant that makes it both too important and also invisible.

If you wanted him to use the bathroom, could he go up the stairs ahead of you whilst you carry the baby? What about him choosing some pants, and you really talking them up so he wants to wear them? My DD didn't have training pants (I didn't even think about getting any) so she knew when she'd had an accident and I had a fair bit of washing to do.

Possibly I will have to consider letting him and baby come up to the loo with my everytime! It sounds like an insane amount of work but I agree the potty in the living room has become more of a toy than something to use!

He just hates clothes so much but equally hates taking them off 🙄 I have tried letting him pick his clothes (he has no interest), tried getting to help with the nappy or putting on the clothes but he has no interest and just runs away.

Thank you for the advise about letting him come to the loo though will be something to try with him.

I'm pleased you like the idea of making going to the loo a sociable occasion! In my DD's case, it may have gone too far as when she was two and a half, she chose the gravel outside a remote hunting lodge on the Italian/Slovenian border, in front of a boozy group of taciturn Italian men of a certain age, to take off her pants, squat down and empty her bowels. She and I then played the fun game of washing her in a tiny, dinghy bathroom with no light, standing on a rickety table next to the washbasin.

You have to look at it from his pov here.

You're peeling down his clothes and whipping off his nappy in a cold house and he has no idea why. You've introduced a potty in the living room but he has absolutely no idea what he's supposed to do with it. It looks and feels like a seat that is just for him to sit on, which is a perfectly reasonable assumption. After all, he's never seen you sitting in it and using it for its intended purpose. He is also supposed to understand when he needs to pee and to tell you, so he can have his bottom bared in a cold room and sit on the cold and mysterious potty, when up to now he has peed whenever he felt like it or even without noticing it

Potty training requires a lot of ground work ahead of the final stretch (the part when you take the nappies away and DC start using the potty is the final stretch).

He should be going upstairs with you and watching you and his dad use the loo as much as possible. Every time would be great. He will be naturally curious about the magic that happens in the bathroom and will want to have a go too. It would help greatly if you could heat the bathroom.

Take a few weeks to introduce him to the loo, why people go there and what what people do there. Narrate every single time: say 'I feel I need to pee/ poop', do a little pee-pee dance, say 'I need to go up to the loo and pee/ poop there so I can keep my pants dry'. Narrate how people pull down their pants, sit on the loo, wait for the pee/ poop, make sure they're all finished, get up, wipe, pull up pants, flush, wash hands, dry hands. Let him flush like a big boy.

It's a good idea to have a little clip-on toilet seat handy in the bathroom, and a step stool, so he can easily have a go himself if he feels enthusiastic about having his own loo adventure.

When you get started, keep the potty in the kitchen where I assume there's no carpet. But you have to lay a lot of ground work before you start.

Edited to add - he has no preconceptions at all about the 'big potty' upstairs. Likewise, there is nothing obvious about the little downstairs potty that will make him understand what it's all about. I started all but my first DC on the big potty with the clip on seat, having graduates DC1 off the little potty when we forgot to bring it with us on a visit to gran's house.

Also, potty training is a huge amount of work.

It requires a full day of effort for many weeks on your part.

Unfortunatley our kitchen is also carpet. The whole of the downstairs is (slow renovations)

But thank you for the rest of the response it was helpful. Although not sure how much hes going to like the bathroom either as its freezing in there but we will give it a try!

Can you buy a big industrial style mat to put the potty on in the kitchen, or lay down a big oilcloth so the potty area can be wiped and sanitised after little accidents?