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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Original poster

3 year old - nothing working, what else to try

101 replies

Amy71452 · 07/11/2023 13:57

Hi bumping this out of a thread I've posted on the parenting section about wider challenges. We were recommended to potty train her before the new baby.

I've tried her in her choice of pants, bottomless on the toilet and the potty, taking her at 30 min intervals. Despite all this is seems coincidence has only brought the rare successes. Has anyone got any other tips as we have to train her before the baby comes in January

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Original poster
Amy71452 · 07/11/2023 16:58

MerryMarigold · 07/11/2023 16:53

Do the dummy now before the baby so she's well over it. Approaching 4 is much too late and difficult if the baby has one.

Potty training, just encourage toilet use as and when. Eg. Put her on toilet 10 mins after lunch. Mostly to make her comfortable using toilets but also to get her to start being more aware.

Thank you will do, I think we found a good idea involving santa. We'll definitely not forget about it and keep good behaviour even if we're not having success at the end of the week

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gdaysport · 07/11/2023 17:00

Another with the 'When she is ready, she is ready.' group. We tried several times this year - the reward charts, bubbles, nappy free time etc etc etc. It just never clicked, she got to the point she got upset at the sight of the potty.
And then last weekend we tried again and it just clicked. No accidents the whole weekend. Wanted to go to the loo while we were at the shops. And then nursery on Monday, no accidents. Three years and four months.

Original poster
Amy71452 · 07/11/2023 17:05

gdaysport · 07/11/2023 17:00

Another with the 'When she is ready, she is ready.' group. We tried several times this year - the reward charts, bubbles, nappy free time etc etc etc. It just never clicked, she got to the point she got upset at the sight of the potty.
And then last weekend we tried again and it just clicked. No accidents the whole weekend. Wanted to go to the loo while we were at the shops. And then nursery on Monday, no accidents. Three years and four months.

Edited

Congratulations!!!! That's spectacular and definitely my dream. If we fail now and thencshe does it in a day a few months down the line I'll feel a proper fool for the effort we're putting in this week

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gdaysport · 07/11/2023 17:08

Amy71452 · 07/11/2023 17:05

Congratulations!!!! That's spectacular and definitely my dream. If we fail now and thencshe does it in a day a few months down the line I'll feel a proper fool for the effort we're putting in this week

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Honestly, the dream! She needs some prompting but she also takes herself off the toilet and tries closing the door behind her and I have to stand outside listening to her in the loo chatting to herself!
The biggest hit we also had was a book called 'Poo poo bum bum wee wee' its a lovely sing song book and she recites it while she goes!

stickypoint · 07/11/2023 17:09

Agree with PP - needs to feel wet and then needs to self-initiate. Taking them every 30 mins in my opinion defeats the objective of them understand what is going on. We repeated as a mantra “where does pee go?” Etc and loads of praise. Was fine by next day self-initiating. Obv good timing on our part but it was v much a joint effort. Put some incontince or puppy pads down and let it happen ;)

good luck but I also wouldn’t stress because of new baby.

ForfarBridie · 07/11/2023 17:12

Take the pressure off both of you and try again in 3 months.

CurlewKate · 07/11/2023 17:12

Back to nappies- pressure off. He'll train himself sometime in the next 6 months.

Let him follow you and his dad to the loo. Mention it when you're going. It'll happen!

Original poster
Amy71452 · 07/11/2023 17:13

gdaysport · 07/11/2023 17:08

Honestly, the dream! She needs some prompting but she also takes herself off the toilet and tries closing the door behind her and I have to stand outside listening to her in the loo chatting to herself!
The biggest hit we also had was a book called 'Poo poo bum bum wee wee' its a lovely sing song book and she recites it while she goes!

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Haha amazing she sound as wonderfully crazy as mine. Something tells me she'll love that song and I'll get sick of it very fast, but I'll check it out !

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CurlewKate · 07/11/2023 17:14

My ds was 3 and 7 months- it was very hard to hold my nerve about it. But it worked!

gdaysport · 07/11/2023 17:15

Amy71452 · 07/11/2023 17:13

Haha amazing she sound as wonderfully crazy as mine. Something tells me she'll love that song and I'll get sick of it very fast, but I'll check it out !

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Cant lie....sometimes the book gets 'lost'.

I have friends who trained much younger who are now having regressions or still have accidents. I think its quite rare for a child to potty train young and then thats that!

Hold your nerve, youl be ok i promise :)

sarahc336 · 07/11/2023 17:17

Dd2 is 3 this month and is point blank refusing to sit on a potty. Just wait and one day she'll decide to do it, just keep talking about it but without pressure they tell all different and ready at different times.

Original poster
Amy71452 · 07/11/2023 17:20

sarahc336 · 07/11/2023 17:17

Dd2 is 3 this month and is point blank refusing to sit on a potty. Just wait and one day she'll decide to do it, just keep talking about it but without pressure they tell all different and ready at different times.

Thank you a lot more for the step back and really reassuring to hear there's loads of us going through this. We've put so much in this fight we're definitely going for a couple of days more but good to know giving up isn't a parenting failure

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Original poster
Amy71452 · 07/11/2023 17:22

CurlewKate · 07/11/2023 17:14

My ds was 3 and 7 months- it was very hard to hold my nerve about it. But it worked!

Congratulations! Did you do nothing to initiate did he just become ready even at his age?

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Original poster
Amy71452 · 07/11/2023 17:24

CurlewKate · 07/11/2023 17:12

Back to nappies- pressure off. He'll train himself sometime in the next 6 months.

Let him follow you and his dad to the loo. Mention it when you're going. It'll happen!

If she's in nappies for 6 more months I'll be properly stressing about September.....

I just don't know when she'll show readiness or interest so feel I need to force it

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CurlewKate · 07/11/2023 18:17

"If she's in nappies for 6 more months I'll be properly stressing about September....."

Why? 6 months only takes us to April!

CurlewKate · 07/11/2023 18:21

I did the waiting thing with both mine. Dd was about 3, I think. (It was a long time ago!) and ds was 3 and 7 months. Honestly- it just happened. One day to the next. Maybe a couple of accidents-that's all. If she's not ready, she's not ready. You can't force it.

FirstFallopians · 07/11/2023 18:21

Amy71452 · 07/11/2023 17:20

Thank you a lot more for the step back and really reassuring to hear there's loads of us going through this. We've put so much in this fight we're definitely going for a couple of days more but good to know giving up isn't a parenting failure

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I think you need to reframe how you’re looking at it.

It isn’t “giving up”, it’s just acknowledging that it’s not the right time for your dd. It’s not a reflection on the effort you’ve put in, or her ability- she’s just not ready.

It’s a massive deal to her, nappies are literally all she’s known her whole life- if she needs another few months to mature and get her head round using the loo it’s not a big deal.

Original poster
Amy71452 · 07/11/2023 18:41

CurlewKate · 07/11/2023 18:17

"If she's in nappies for 6 more months I'll be properly stressing about September....."

Why? 6 months only takes us to April!

If you can't tell from this thread I'm a panicker. Whilst by every sensible thought it's a long time, it won't be in my eyes if we've not had success by April, for my peace of mind I feel like I'd need success by then. Plus most people messaging have said their kids learnt at the age my DD is now. Thank you for sharing it just worked for you, congratulations on getting through without stress. Were you not worried at 3y7m. Did they just decide they'd go or did you encourage them beforehand

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Original poster
Amy71452 · 07/11/2023 18:45

FirstFallopians · 07/11/2023 18:21

I think you need to reframe how you’re looking at it.

It isn’t “giving up”, it’s just acknowledging that it’s not the right time for your dd. It’s not a reflection on the effort you’ve put in, or her ability- she’s just not ready.

It’s a massive deal to her, nappies are literally all she’s known her whole life- if she needs another few months to mature and get her head round using the loo it’s not a big deal.

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Thank you I probably need to hear this, I'm going to try the advice first, because maybe one of these is the one thag unlocks it for her. I don't think she's desperate to be in nappies, she really likes her pants, just something hasn't connected yet. It's annoying because there's relief that we've hit bedtime, she's enjoying trying but no success

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CurlewKate · 07/11/2023 19:00

"Were you not worried at 3y7m. Did they just decide they'd go or did you encourage them beforehand"

I wasn't worried because I knew it would happen sooner or later-it always does! We didn't encourage- we just let them follow us to the loo and watch and occasionally said "You could use the loo if you want to" so they kbew that it was something they could do and pants were an option. The only downside really was the cost of nappies.

Original poster
Amy71452 · 07/11/2023 20:24

Thank you, you'd think as I've been through this once already i could accept being more relaxed. If it doesn't work out in the next couple of days I'll try and take this approach. I agree the cost is relentless, it's not a concern but would love to put that money elsewhere, even as extra treats for her

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abbs1 · 07/11/2023 20:29

With my child the HV just said take off nappy/nappy pants as they don't feel the wetness and put them in normal underwear and when they pee/poo they won't like feeling wet etc wee running down their legs and will quickly stop and go toilet. It worked well for us and potty trained with only 1 or 2 accidents a day within a week.
Doesn't always work but I was losing hope and had tried rewards sticker charts etc.

grrrrarrg · 07/11/2023 20:31

I didn't really have to train my son - we just waited until he was ready and wanted to. He was 3.5 and it went smoothly with hardly any accidents.

grrrrarrg · 07/11/2023 20:33

Oh and I knew he was ready because he told me!

Isthisexpected · 07/11/2023 20:33

Some really upsetting suggestions on here. We had success in two weeks by waiting until one was ready at almost four. Your new baby isn't a good enough reason to try to peer pressure your little one into using a toilet.