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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Original poster

Average age to be potty trained??

103 replies

wickedthemusical · 05/12/2021 22:47

Just wondering what the average age for a child to be potty trained is? My DH has a DS who is 4 and still in nappies, I am pregnant and don't want my DC to still be in nappies when they start school, or is this a normal thing? Not being negative in any way to my DHs DS they have an agreement that works for them but wouldn't be what I would choose so just need some advice.

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Rhubarblin · 06/12/2021 23:32

Based on my own experiences, the normal range without SEN or medical issues seems to be 1.5-3.5yrs for daytime. I would say average 2.5-2.75yrs. My DD12 was 2.75yrs daytime, almost 5 for nighttime.

4yrs old, no SEN or medical issues and still in nappies is very unusual and I say that as a parent of a child who will be 4 soon (in April) and still isn't trained but she has SEN. Mild-moderate developmental delays and possibly ASD. The range for children with mild-moderate global delays and/or ASD (verbal but with language delay) seems to be around 4-6yrs. Some children with SEN will never achieve toilet training obviously too.

RedWingBoots · 06/12/2021 23:36

Oh and kids in my extended family plus my DD were potty trained in the day from 20 months to 3 years. So completely dry in the day between 2 and 3.5 years. Second/subsequent children regardless of sex frequently potty trained younger than their older sibling(s).

Night dryness was extremely variable and seemed to have no correlation to when they were dry in the day.

RedWingBoots · 06/12/2021 23:41

Forgot to add with my DD, some of my nephews and nieces, and friends' kids watching at least one other child they got on with, whether sibling and/or playmate, seemed to make them want to be potty trained.

unsure10482 · 06/12/2021 23:50

Good to see realistic answers on here. My DD was dry both day and night just after turning 3. My younger DD has just turned 2 she is actually showing a few signs but I think I'm going to wait for slightly warmer weather and try.

We had a few try's with older DD between the ages 2-3 it soon became obvious she wasn't ready. She picked it up quite quickly when she got to 3.

liveforsummer · 07/12/2021 07:05

I'd say average is about 3. The only dc we've had starting school in a nappy or pull up at 4 have asn

WakeUpLockie · 07/12/2021 07:09

All the boys I know were earlier than the girls :)

2.5-3 I’d say. I know a couple of 3 year olds who haven’t started yet and think that’s a bit late for a first attempt!

oatlattetogo · 07/12/2021 07:29

@wickedthemusical

Awkward question but when DC has gone for a number 2 do they call you to wipe them or do you just check when they have been?? I'm getting confused DP does everything for his DS just don't know how that would work going to school because a teacher isn't going to do that for them!
Well once they get to school they need to be able to wipe their own bottom (although they must make different arrangements for children who are still in nappies) but some children that young do still benefit from a ‘check’ when they’re at home as they don’t do it very well and then you get sore bottoms and nasty underwear Sad

Surely if your stepson is pooing on the toilet and then asking his dad to wipe his bottom then he is partly toilet trained though?

stmw123 · 07/12/2021 10:56

2.5-3 is the usual

PoppityInThe · 07/12/2021 11:04

2.5-3 is probably average but all of mine were out of nappies between 18&22 months and bedtime nappies shortly after 2nd Birthday for all 3.
4 is quite late, any suspected additional needs? If not honestly I'd just tell them to use the toilet or potty if they're desperate for first few months. If no additional needs I would not be changing a 4 year olds nappies, just tell him you've run out so he'll have to use the toilet from now on.

Delphinna · 07/12/2021 11:07

2-3 is average. 4 is very late, I would assume there were medical issues or SEN if a 4yo wasn’t toilet trained. Either that or the parents are shockingly lazy.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 07/12/2021 11:14

I'd say 2.5 to 3 in daytime but not unusual to be in nappies at night until later. A lot of reception age kids (4/5) are in nappies. I would raise with school nurse at that age though.

Original poster
wickedthemusical · 07/12/2021 11:21

@oatlattetogo DSS doesn't do that no, my nephew does though so that's why I was asking, my nephew is fully potty trained but as soon as he gets a swim suit on he always does a number 2 in it! Bless him (he is 5 nearly 6)

OP posts:
controve · 07/12/2021 11:23

I think 4 is very late for day time if no additional needs. DC1 was 2.3 and DC2 was 2.5 but dry at night straight away too. DC1 wore nighttime pants until 4 which I believe can be normal.

Personally think his dad needs to be making more of an effort with this.

Beamur · 07/12/2021 11:29

DD was about 3.5 for wees, maybe 6months later for the rest. Didn't like using the potty much so when she was big enough to use the toilet she was more willing.
She could have been out of nappies sooner but was highly resistant to the idea of being a big girl.

gettingolderbutcooler · 07/12/2021 11:37

2.5 for ours. Obv doesn't work straight off!

RedWingBoots · 07/12/2021 11:47

I forgot to add OP some parents who haven't been around young children think with their first child that the child will decided to potty train due to peer pressure. (Like my DD and other children I mentioned in a previous post.) This doesn't always happen. If a child is around 3 and they haven't shown any interest in using the toilet then you have to get them interested.

Also even if a child does show interest it doesn't mean they will potty train quickly. It isn't unusual to hear of a 2 year old who has decided s/he wants to be potty trained because the other children around them are being potty trained who keeps having accidents.

3WildOnes · 07/12/2021 12:06

@JurgensCakeBabyJesus I’m not sure about this. I still often pee in the night as do my kids older two children. If I had waited for this hormone to kick in completely then my 10 year old would still be in night nappies. When they were little I just put a potty beside their beds, now they just go to the loo if they wake up needing a wee.

MuguetRose · 07/12/2021 12:12

I started mine both when they were 2 and three quarters. One got the hang of it in 2 days and one took months and months and only got the hang of number 2s the spring before she started school. (July birth) Both girls.

oatlattetogo · 07/12/2021 13:12

@wickedthemusical Ahh, I see!

That is unusual about your nephew though. I’m not sure I’d describe him as fully potty trained if he soils himself every time he wears a swimming costume, not at his age. Is he your nephew, or your husbands nephew? I was just wondering if there is a common theme of toileting issues/being late to be toilet trained.

Niki14 · 07/12/2021 13:36

Depends what you class as potty trained. DD announced she was wearing knickers at the age of 2.5 and that was that, dry day and night. I was going to wait a couple more months as DS was 4 weeks old! If I put the effort in I could probably have trained her much earlier.

DS has been far more difficult to train. He hasn't worn nappies for over a year but it was more that I (and nursery) were trained to regularly put him on the toilet. Only now at 3.9 does he actually recognise when he needs the toilet and will stop what he is doing to go and he stil wears pull-ups at night.

morechocolateneededtoday · 07/12/2021 13:42

DC1: Trained at 2.5years, dry at night by 3yrs old. Currently in reception and does everything by herself at school but will request we help with no2 if she is at home

DC2: Trained at 2y2months, dry at night a month after turning 3. Preschool do not take children that are not trained (attached to a prep school) so had to be trained by then, fortunately happened by itself much earlier

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 07/12/2021 13:46

I started gently when ds was 2 ....getting used to the potty , talking about it etc, offering sweets for any wees and poos in there. With lots of support from the nursery he was trained 1 wk before his 3rd birthday. He was dry at night from then on too

Layzak · 07/12/2021 13:53

Hi everyone ! so many people have different advise on potty training i felt soooo over whelmed my little boy has autism bless him and is potty training only now at 3, it was frustrating and hard but i found this helped me sooooooo much ,
shorturl.at/awFL0
good luck xx

S1205 · 07/12/2021 17:45

I'm glad I found this post as Google is really not the place to search this question.

My DD will still only do a wee in a potty, but refuses to do a poo.

We let her run around without a nappy on most of the day, and she wee's in the potty perfectly.

She point blank refuses to poo on the potty and of course I do not want her straining.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. x

Lockdownbear · 07/12/2021 18:13

Depends what you class as potty trained.

I think the general definition is when they are in pants during the day. And asking for the potty / toilet even if its with 5 secs notice.
A newly potty trained child will need help with clothes and wiping.