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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

Average age to be potty trained??

103 replies

wickedthemusical · 05/12/2021 22:47

Just wondering what the average age for a child to be potty trained is? My DH has a DS who is 4 and still in nappies, I am pregnant and don't want my DC to still be in nappies when they start school, or is this a normal thing? Not being negative in any way to my DHs DS they have an agreement that works for them but wouldn't be what I would choose so just need some advice.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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OnlyFoolsnMothers · 06/12/2021 21:36

Between 2-2.5- no 4 year old should be in nappies (baring any additional needs)- that’s lazy parenting.

Thinkbiglittleone · 06/12/2021 21:47

Our DS was 21 months, day and night. I think between 2 and 3, I agree and think 4 is very late.

Lockdownbear · 06/12/2021 21:48

@Screwcorona

My eldest is 3.5 and I've tried potty training multiple times to no avail. Feel like a complete failure. I'm hoping if he turns 4 no-one judges me and would prefer helpful advice. He refuses

What have you tried?

Things that worked for my with DS1 was sunny weekend in the garden, not ideal at this time of year. DS2 was more problematic wrong time of year, so potty in front of the telly, lovely i know, chocolate buttons, a bit of bribery, button for sitting on potty, one for pee, two for poo, happy dance, lots of cheers OTT clapping. Persevere dont go back to nappies, potty training pads to line carseats.
3 days should crack it. Get nursery on board, theyll be keen too as its less work for them.

Unavailableusername · 06/12/2021 21:49

I tried at 22 months for about ten days and should have stopped trying sooner. Cracked it very quickly at 2 and 4 months when I tried again.

4 would be too late for me unless there are other issues. I'd say between 2 and 3 too.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 06/12/2021 21:57

@Screwcorona

My eldest is 3.5 and I've tried potty training multiple times to no avail. Feel like a complete failure. I'm hoping if he turns 4 no-one judges me and would prefer helpful advice. He refuses

It’s not an option to refuse, throw the nappies away, the oh crap method and consistency!

JurgensCakeBabyJesus · 06/12/2021 22:09

We tried just after two but lots of accidents and no insight into I need to wee soon, more it's coming right now panic, so we had a break, went back at two and 4 months and he got it straight away, initially not dry over night but that began to change about 3 months later. He is now reliably dry but I'd stocked up on pull ups at Costco so he still wears them at night, they've only been wet twice in the last two months when he was quite poorly, so I think he'd be fine without. He gets up and goes to the toilet first thing every morning, and before bed he goes before bath/shower and immediately before bed, so it's his routine now

JurgensCakeBabyJesus · 06/12/2021 22:11

Also DS loved the hey duggee potty book and pirate Pete (a bit annoying because it has a button that cheers when you press it but he liked to congratulate himself)

Original poster

wickedthemusical · 06/12/2021 22:12

I have seen online that if you choose cloth nappies average age a child is potty trained is 18 months.. I don't think that is entirely true!

Also, instead of wearing nappies at night does anyone do that thing where there is a potty in DC room and they wake them at 12am and then at 3/4am to go to the potty when they are half asleep??

Just interested in the different methods that can be used cause when I have my DC I want to be clued up.

OP posts:

AliceW89 · 06/12/2021 22:18

@wickedthemusical

I have seen online that if you choose cloth nappies average age a child is potty trained is 18 months.. I don't think that is entirely true!

Also, instead of wearing nappies at night does anyone do that thing where there is a potty in DC room and they wake them at 12am and then at 3/4am to go to the potty when they are half asleep??

Just interested in the different methods that can be used cause when I have my DC I want to be clued up.

My cloth nappied 18 mo obviously didn’t get the memo 😂 we are nowhere near!

PieMistee · 06/12/2021 22:23

DS1 was about 20 months in day and 2.5 at night
DS2 was bang on 2 for both
DD was dry in the day at 2 but still in pull ups at 9.5 years old (no SEN) just couldn't do it was probably hormonal.
We used cloth nappies and I encouraged it from about 18 months in a gentle way.

changingchanges2 · 06/12/2021 22:31

Both my DC were dry day and night at 2yrs 0n and 2yrs 2m respectively. I should add, no nappies at night but they did need a wee in the night, they can't last 10hours+ at that age.

Anything over 3 I'd raise an eyebrow at tbh, barring any SEN.

JurgensCakeBabyJesus · 06/12/2021 22:31

I thought lifting/sleep wees were considered a bit old fashioned these days as night time is more a hormonal thing than a training one?

mswales · 06/12/2021 22:33

Used to be 18 months until the disposable nappy industry came along and persuaded everyone kids weren't "ready" until age 2 or 3.

headintheproverbial · 06/12/2021 22:34

DC1 - dry in the day at 2.5 and night 3.5
DC2 - dry day and night 2.5

4 sounds on the later end of normal to me especially for during the day.

mswales · 06/12/2021 22:34

Op I really recommend you read the book "Oh Crap... I'm potty training"

Hercisback · 06/12/2021 22:41

I second the recommendation to read oh crap.

Cloth kids are generally earlier than disposable kids because the cloth kids feel the wet.

20-27 months covered most of the kids I know in cloth. I have encouraged the potty since my kids could sit up and by 1 was getting most poos on it.

We did lift a couple of times in the night but didn't ever make it routine.

Original poster

wickedthemusical · 06/12/2021 22:53

Awkward question but when DC has gone for a number 2 do they call you to wipe them or do you just check when they have been?? I'm getting confused DP does everything for his DS just don't know how that would work going to school because a teacher isn't going to do that for them!

OP posts:

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 06/12/2021 22:55

@wickedthemusical

My 4 year old is in school so she can wipe her bum in a manner but at home she will call me to check or help wipe (it’s definitely a learning curve at 4)

Original poster

wickedthemusical · 06/12/2021 22:55

@JurgensCakeBabyJesus

I thought lifting/sleep wees were considered a bit old fashioned these days as night time is more a hormonal thing than a training one?

The woman who does it in my pregnancy group read something that said they can't drink before bed and you do the middle of the night lift toilet trips to completely empty their bladder? I didn't realise it was a hormonal thing, you learn something new every day!

OP posts:

Original poster

wickedthemusical · 06/12/2021 22:58

@OnlyFoolsnMothers I vaguely remember when I was young my DM would buy me special wipes to practice with think they were called Kandoo but they don't really do them anymore so it's interesting to hear from your perspective thank you!

OP posts:

Mammyloveswine · 06/12/2021 23:08

4 is not usual to still be in nappies... between 2 and 3/3.5 and is usual.

Haven't school said anything about your dss?

I'm a teacher and it's quite staggering how many more children are starting nursery in nappies. Ten years ago it was the odd one.. now it's a good 8-10!

I blame modern nappies and yes I do blame lazy parenting also to some extent... I've toilet trained two children and both were reliably dry way before they started nursery! My first was non verbal and has a diagnosis of ASD but he was dry at 2 years and 10 months!

You do have To put a bit of work in but when a child is ready they'll crack it within 3-5 days!

I'm also not talking about children with SEN here, although I am a firm believer that this isn't always a barrier to toilet training!

Hercisback · 06/12/2021 23:12

Is there a reason dp isn't potty training the 4yo?

You're right no teacher wants to wipe them. They should be independent on the toilet by school (assuming no SEN).

Lockdownbear · 06/12/2021 23:21

Lots of people seem to think kids will train themselves when ready,
But that's a myth started by a pediatrician paid for by Pampers,

Starcaller · 06/12/2021 23:25

DD was just over 2.5, which seems to be the 'going' age based on the toddlers in my antenatal group and at her nursery. She's mostly dry overnight, a few months later, and will get up to pee, but she's still in a pull-up because if she's very tired and has had a lot to drink she sometimes doesn't wake. She needs help with wiping after a poo, just as she doesn't have the dexterity or long enough arms to manage it herself. Imagine it'll be a while before she can do that solely on her own.

RedWingBoots · 06/12/2021 23:32

@wickedthemusical

I have seen online that if you choose cloth nappies average age a child is potty trained is 18 months.. I don't think that is entirely true!

Also, instead of wearing nappies at night does anyone do that thing where there is a potty in DC room and they wake them at 12am and then at 3/4am to go to the potty when they are half asleep??

Just interested in the different methods that can be used cause when I have my DC I want to be clued up.

There is a hormone you release less off at night - ADH - that helps make you dry at night. As kids are all different and develop at different rates some can be dry at night at 2.5 years while others can take until 7. (In fact I know a friend's kid who was consistently dry at night before in the day.)

The approach you mentioned isn't recommended for children particularly if they are dry in the day, under 7 and they haven't been checked for any issues. Also if you do use such an approach you need to make sure the kid is awake so they know they are going to the toilet. Anecdotally it worked for 2 kids I know who still wet the bed aged over 7. They are both much older and one does have disabilities.

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