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Started Oh Crap method but DS refuses to be naked
47

LeeMiller · 12/02/2021 13:06

Decided to try potty training DS, 26 months since he is displaying all the signs of readiness and this is a practial time for it for us. Read Oh Crap and decided to start today but it's got off to a bad start as DS is insisting on wearing trousers (randomly he likes being topless but loves trousers and shoes so I should have predicted this, to be fair). I've stuck him in loose joggers and so far today he's wet through them 6 times. He tells me 'wee coming down' as it's happening and is upset by getting wet but doesn't move towards the potty, and by the time I grab him and pull his trousers down it's all over (once we got a few drops in). A couple of times I thought I spotted a sign but he absolutely refuses to sit on the the potty when prompted,, and I obviously don't want to force him. He seems quite ambivalent about the potty, likes his potty books and proudly told DS at lunchtime that he "weed in the potty lots and lots", but would prefer not to actually sit on it.

Will the Oh Crap method work if I skip the naked phase or do I need a new strategy? Obviously it's very very early days and I'm not expecting him to have cracked it yet at all, but not sure if I should change course sooner rather than later if he insists on wearing clothes?

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cathyj87 · 13/02/2021 20:12

I'm on day 8 of Oh Crap PT with my 19 month old so by no means an expert but I'd say it's probably important to do at least 1 day bottomless. We did 2 just to be sure I had her signs clear in my head. On block 2 we had a day or two of going through 5 or 6 pairs of trousers, one day was when I stopped putting her on it as much and relied on her telling me so went back to being more insistent that she sits if it's been over 1.5 hours or if I know she needs to wee.

How did it go today?

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LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE · 13/02/2021 21:22

Is there any reason you particularly want to do it via "Oh crap?"

We found with DS1 that using his pampers pants as a pull up worked really well. We offered the potty as often as possible and gave him lots of praise if there was a "result". We watch a couple of youtube potty videos with him every time he sat on the potty. It worked when he was ready, but the important thing was that he was engaged and wasn't intimidated :)

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BlowDryRat · 13/02/2021 21:26

I'm not surprised he doesn't want to be naked; it's freezing!

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LeeMiller · 14/02/2021 07:40

Thanks everyone!

We are overseas and it’s actually hot in our flat due to poorly insulated pipes so the cold isn’t the issue. He just doesn’t want to be naked, which is fair enough but it means I’m not catching the wee fast enough. We decided on oh crap just because it gets a lot of positive reviews, is targeted at younger kids,and because my brain likes following a method, but it’s been awful so far.

DS has been in pull-ups for ages but thinks they’re nappies. We have some cloth training pants but I thought those and the trousers would over complicate it for the first few days. He is very keen to try them though.

Anyway, he loves pushing and pulling his trousers up and loves sitting on the potty, just not to wee. Yesterday he started holding it in and getting very uncomfortable, then wetting himself, and stopping by the time/when he got onto the potty. Not sure if holding is physiological or psychological but I don’t want to distress him or turn it into a battlefield so I think we might stop for a while, or at least really back off and do it gradually.

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angelopal · 14/02/2021 07:44

Never went naked with both of mine. Just pants and trousers. Kept asking them if they needed a wee and would put them on the potty regularly.

Never understood keep them naked for a few days.

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Northernsoullover · 14/02/2021 07:44

I'd suggest just giving it a break. Not months, just a few weeks. If you are getting that many pairs of wet trousers he's clearly not 100% ready. He sounds like he's definitely on the way though.

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LeeMiller · 14/02/2021 07:48

Yes I think he’s very keen but not quite ready in terms of signals, maybe.

If I ask if he needs a wee he says no, and he doesn’t want to sit on the potty when I tell him, he wants to choose when (he is very stubborn and wants to do EVERYTHING on his own) but then can’t/doesn’t wee.

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Thatwentbadly · 14/02/2021 07:49

I would say all the trousers are in the wash now.

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Cowmilk · 14/02/2021 08:10

Ds2 refused to get naked to. At our first attempt we tried putting shorts for him.

He wasn’t ready so we waited until the next school holiday where he accepted only wearing pants in the home.

I decided to target the school holiday because he could stay at home completely for few days without having to do the school run for his older brother. His older brother also wore his shorts for the first few days alongside him. To encourage him.

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NannyR · 14/02/2021 08:20

I've never done the naked bottom half thing when potty training, just loose pants and joggers or shorts. I don't think it's essential to success. Also, I know they are only little and probably don't care either way, but it just seems wrong to me in terms of respect and dignity.
From what you've said about multiple accidents, I would put him back in nappies for a couple of weeks and try again later.

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Ithinkhedidit · 14/02/2021 08:30

I didn't follow the oh crap method and ds1 trained in pants and trousers. He's never liked being naked unless in the bath! Don't make it a battle- we tried a few times. When he was actually properly ready, we nailed it in 48 hours and he was dry through the night by the third night. It was so easy! I wish I hadn't stressed myself out the first couple of times when it didn't work. I'd leave it for a bit.

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ApplestheHare · 14/02/2021 08:34

It sounds like it's too early for him. You need to take into account mental readiness as well as physical. I left DD until nearly 3 and by then she totally got it and just started using the toilet herself. No watching for signals or accidents to upset everyone. It was the right time and painless as a result.

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firesidetartan · 14/02/2021 08:38

He isn't ready

I don't know what the method is you are talking about but it sounds like your son is not ready.

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LeeMiller · 14/02/2021 08:40

Yes we’ve decided to stop for a few weeks as I don’t want it to distress him. Leaving potty, pants and potty-related books out and we’ll keep encouraging his interest but leave nappies on for a while.

My instinct would be to leave it until but we really need to try and crack it by 2.9 as he’s due to start preschool and they don’t usually take them untrained (not in U.K.). But that’s still a long time off. We will move house in April/May so if he’s not ready now then I’m wondering if we should wait until June, otherwise it might be too many changes at once?

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Frazzle76 · 14/02/2021 08:50

I read oh crap aswell and our first attempt at 24months was a disaster. She understood, showed all the signs of readiness but got hugely upset by poos and couldn't hold the wees. We gave up after 3 days and my husband blames the book for stressing me out. I carried the potette around with me and asked her whether she wanted a nappy wee or a potty wee lots and by the time I had some time to try again 3 months later it was relatively painless. I'm glad I didn't wait until she was 3 like many do as I think by then the minx would have made it into a battle.
Beware of a regression 2 months in as they try to extend holding it in.
And have hard floors.
Good luck.

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LeeMiller · 14/02/2021 08:54

Feeling guilty and hope a day of accidents/holding it in hasn’t traumatised him. But he’s been asking for pants and not wanting to put on a nappy for a while, plus ticks the other readiness signs. Anyway, we’ve stopped. He is very independent and is very wary of changes like new coats/shoes etc so with hindsight this was always going to be harder. Knowing DS he would probably just train himself one day if left to it, just hope that happens before September.

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NannyR · 14/02/2021 09:03

The last little girl I trained took three, or maybe four attempts to train. She seemed totally ready in terms of wanting to wear pants, wanting to sit on the potty, telling us when her nappy was wet, having long spells of dry nappies, then a big wee, but she just wasn't ready to actually wee on the potty. I think it was that she was physically ready but not emotionally ready.
We put her back in nappies and when she was about 2yrs8m she just told me one morning that she wanted to wear pants, I went with it and she was pretty much trained within the week with very little stress.
I think you are taking the right approach, don't feel guilty about it.

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HarrietM87 · 14/02/2021 09:08

I did oh crap with my son at 18 months. I think your son is ready based on what you’ve said. People saying they did it with trousers and pants etc were probably training much older kids. The nakedness is useful mainly for you so you can see when the wee is coming and get them to the potty really quickly (too quickly to have time to pull down clothes). It’s the getting to the potty while weeing that helps them connect the feeling of needing a wee to the wee coming out. It’s an essential part of the process IMO. We spent a couple of days in our kitchen which has hard floors. Day 1 and 2 limited success, most wees in potty day 3, cracked it day 4 (had trousers from
Day 3 but no pants for a couple of weeks). If you can’t get him to accept the nakedness then you probably do need to wait til he’s older.

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HarrietM87 · 14/02/2021 09:11

Oh and I think earlier potty training has loads of advantages. My DS was very compliant at that age whereas his peers now (2.5-3) who are potty training are right in the middle of the terrible twos and it’s taken some of my friends months.

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LeeMiller · 14/02/2021 09:36

Thanks for the different perspectives, hopefully DS will do something similar, NannyR. I get what you’re saying HarrietM87 and I think we might have missed that compliance window, DS is already very much a stroppy and strong willed two-year old. I also get that the nakedness is essential for Oh Crap otherwise you don’t have enough time, DS refusing to stay naked means the method just won’t work for us as obviously forcing him to be naked would be mean and counterproductive.

Oh well, it all seems much clearer now!

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LillianGish · 14/02/2021 09:54

Does no one use bribery anymore? Mine were both potty trained around 2 in time to start pre-school. I introduced the potty and offered a smartie if they could do a wee in it. Stayed at home for first week for lots of reminders and prompting - asking if they needed to go and huge praise and celebration (and a smartie) when they did. Didn’t use pull ups as they are essentially a nappy and I think when they are learning they need to feel they are wet - too easy just to wee in a pull up. Maybe at 26 months he’s big enough for the actual toilet - my DS went straight on the toilet having seen his older sister in action.

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LeeMiller · 14/02/2021 10:15

We have decided to get a step and loo seat so he can get used to them and try if he wishes, as well as leaving the potty out, so he has both options.

If he was older and just being stubborn I might try bribery, but I’d feel awful withholding a treat if he is just not physically or emotionally capable right now. Same with star charts. We bought him a couple of new books to read on the potty and that was successful in keeping him on it but didn’t produce any actual wee, so I think we’re doing the right thing waiting a bit.

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midnightstar66 · 14/02/2021 11:57

I deliberately did mine in winter so they'd be clothed I felt running around naked missed out an important step in the ritual. I also ditched the potty and went straight for toilet both times. They were both reliably trained in 3 days

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LeeMiller · 14/02/2021 21:51

Well, he’s been back in nappies today. But now he’s not only telling me every time he does a wee, he wants to be changed immediately each time.Not sure if that’s helpful or not in terms of encouraging potty use but I guess it’s positive that he’s got the bodily awareness.

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LillianGish · 15/02/2021 08:57

But now he’s not only telling me every time he does a wee, he wants to be changed immediately each time the fact that he does that shows he understands the principle. Now you need to find whatever it is that will motivate him to do it in the potty/toilet. It's not about withholding treats for failing to do so or for accidents along the way - I would make no fuss about that whatsoever - just lots of praise and rewards for getting it right.

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