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Do I need to potty train before nursery
39

dancingmonkey · 30/06/2020 19:05

My daughter is due to start nursery in September. She will likely be the youngest in class as her birthday is right at end of august. I feel she just isn't ready for potty training. She shows no signs of wanting to be out of nappies. And when we have tried she just wets her clothes everytime.
MUST she be potty trained when she starts? It seems unfair knowing she will be almost a whole year younger than some of her class who have had more time to learn.

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Willow4987 · 30/06/2020 19:07

Not for nursery but yes for school. How old is she?

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dancingmonkey · 30/06/2020 19:09

@Willow4987

Not for nursery but yes for school. How old is she?

She will turn 3 end of august
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dancingmonkey · 30/06/2020 19:10

@Willow4987

Not for nursery but yes for school. How old is she?

Is it quite normal for nursery kids to still be in nappies? I have been worried she will be the only one and singled out
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Popskipiekin · 30/06/2020 19:13

Why don’t you ask the nursery/pre-school? They might make exceptions for very young 3 year olds. For ours, they say they expect children to be potty trained between the age of 2 and 3 but in reality they are flexible for the exceptions when they arise.

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BabyLlamaZen · 30/06/2020 19:13

Is she definitely ready to start? If they're summer babies you can often keep them at home until Jan :)

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FTMF30 · 30/06/2020 19:14

Well nursery kids can be as young as 6 weeks old so of course some will be in nappies.
I would personally get her potty training now though. It'd be better for you to facilitate her learning than to start her at nursery and have to learn between nursery and home.

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Willow4987 · 30/06/2020 19:15

Not sure at age 3, but obviously nursery’s take babies from very young so will be used to nappies in general

They may be keen to get her started on potty training though. It may help her if she sees her peers potty trained too. My DS eats much better seeing his peers trying other things than he does at home. Nursery said it’s basically the peer pressure that makes them do it.

Also at 3, I’d be wanting to try potty training fairly soon as she’ll be going to school the following year (my DS is also an August baby so I understand the concern about her being almost a whole year younger than others)

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lunar1 · 30/06/2020 19:17

Is it a nursery that's part of school? Where I live they would be expecting children to be toilet trained barring a few accidents if so.

An actual nursery is probably different.

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veryvery · 30/06/2020 19:18

I would say, yes, if you can. Incidentally my own D.C. did not want to be potty trained. Yet they knew when they needed the toilet, they just were happy with nappies. I had to insist on pants (not pull ups as they are as comfortable when wet as a nappy) during the day and clear up any accidents without any fuss. Once they accepted they couldn't wear nappies only training pants (get wet but it doesn't spread to clothes) and imposed toilet breaks at set times the process of training actually happened. Subsequently my D.C. was trained by nursery age albeit with a few accidents unless the set toilet breaks were encouraged.

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SandieCheeks · 30/06/2020 19:19

If they take 2 year olds then they will expect the younger ones to be in nappies.

If they take from 3 then I'd guess they will encourage you to have potty trained, but I doubt they will refuse a 3 year old in nappies.

You have two months to get on and do it now though?

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dancingmonkey · 30/06/2020 19:19

this is a nursery in a school, so there are no babies, and will all be 3+ years

Think I'll definitely speak to nursery, Ive looked on there website and read a lot of info on nursery but mention of potty training. Which is why I thought they would just assume all kids would be.

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FrugiFan · 30/06/2020 19:20

If it's a preschool where all the kids are 3 and over, they would probably prefer her to be toilet trained but they can't discriminate and say you can't attend if not trained.

If it's a nursery which takes kids from 3 months upwards, they will have nappy changing facilities etc anyway so it's less of an issue.

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SandieCheeks · 30/06/2020 19:21

If it's a school nursery then they will have limited staff and facilities for changing nappies - they may only have a teacher and a ta.

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BabyMoonPie · 30/06/2020 19:21

My daughter has potty trained recently - she was 3 in January. She showed no interest at first but when she did it clicked quickly (I think being older and allowed to do it in her own time helped) . Being at nursery may help as your DD will see the others going to the toilet and want to be like them. My DD started nursery at 1 and they said they do what the parents and child want - they don't force potty training so they've changed her nappies for 2 years and in several rooms as she's got older

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BullshitVivienne · 30/06/2020 19:24

It would be unfair on children who are delayed to have a blanket rule and could even be discrimination.

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Littlehouseinthebigcity · 30/06/2020 19:24

I was an early years teacher and we did expect all children starting nursery (pre-school) to be potty trained. If they weren't they had to be in pull ups, and if they were soiled in theory we were supposed to call the parents to come and change them. In practise obviously we didn't leave children sat in dirty pull ups.
However I also have a dd going to turn 3 in August so feel your pain. We have potty trained but she's had several regressions since lockdown and has frequent wet pants before making it to the potty. However she does then get to the potty and rarely has wet trousers so I'd say worth a try!

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BabyMoonPie · 30/06/2020 19:24

Just seen its a school nursery so that may be different from our private one

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Quackersandcheese3 · 30/06/2020 19:25

I work in early years and would say it’s not unusual to have children come in nappies.
I think that there’s still quite a while to go to September so think it would be a great opportunity to try toilet training though. In my experience most children who are able to be toilet trained by 3.

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Littlehouseinthebigcity · 30/06/2020 19:26

Just to add that obviously in the case of SEN then allowances were made - as someone above said the issue is staffing. You really need 2 adults present to change a child so if you only have a teacher and 1 TA for the whole class it's a logistical nightmare

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SandieCheeks · 30/06/2020 19:28

You only need one adult to change a child - some schools choose to have a requirement for two adults.

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Spied · 30/06/2020 19:29

I think she'll get more from the nursery experience if she's out of nappies.
My guess is that most of the kids will be trained (bar the odd accident) and I'd feel uncomfortable not having made a good start with this. She will quickly catch on that she's one of the few in nappies and I don't think it will help with her confidence or her social development really.
I know when my DC started a 3+ nursery attached to school that the teachers didn't expect to be potty training.

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Littlehouseinthebigcity · 30/06/2020 19:31

@SandieCheeks Sorry yes I wasn't clear. Obviously you can change most children by yourself (otherwise how would I manage when DH is at work 😂) but many schools have quite strict safeguarding procedures in place making this 'against the rules'

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THNG5 · 30/06/2020 19:35

Definitely ask them. My son is a late August born as well and started nursery last September. Although the nursery isn't attached to a school, they have one 2 year old class of 20 then take about 100 3-4 year olds.
Anyway, they said that they would prefer the children to be potty trained but would help with whatever stage he was at. He had never shown any signs of being ready but mid-July, I just gave it a go and it actually was very easy for him. He still needs encouragement to go at nursery and there have been the occasional accident but nursery have always been good at helping him.

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dancingmonkey · 30/06/2020 19:36

Thankyou all for your comments and experiences, has been really helpful!

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AluminumMonster · 30/06/2020 19:36

Not to derail exactly but have you read the book 'Oh Crap! Potty Training'
I note you say she wets through her clothes whereas the method detailed might work for her as there are no clothes involved for the first block.

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