Do I need to potty train before nursery

[dancingmonkey]

My daughter is due to start nursery in September. She will likely be the youngest in class as her birthday is right at end of august. I feel she just isn't ready for potty training. She shows no signs of wanting to be out of nappies. And when we have tried she just wets her clothes everytime.
MUST she be potty trained when she starts? It seems unfair knowing she will be almost a whole year younger than some of her class who have had more time to learn.

[mummyh2016]

They don't have to be potty trained, I asked this question myself a few months ago as my DD wasn't potty trained when I applied and she is starting in September. She turned 3 last month though and is now potty trained. I also used the oh crap method.
I don't believe they are allowed to discriminate.

[Shmithecat2]

The best time is when your child is ready. No book is going to make your child ready. Just try it. If it doesn't click in a few days due wee at least, they're not ready. It shouldn't be stressful, and it shouldn't take weeks.

[RihoM96]

Hey,

I have a question: When is the best time to have a potty training... I looking for some books or courses on this subject and find out for this book.. What's your opinions on this? bit.ly/2CVGqSy

[Boringnamechanging]

When I visited my ds school nursery in July last year for a look around before ds starting in September they asked me how often I changed him and make sure I packed wipes/nappies. They practically fell of the chair when I said he was potty trained so from their reaction it'll be very normal for children to start in nappies.

[Willow4987]

I’ve also heard the oh crap! method is good so have the book (currently trying to read it with a toddler and 4 month old in tow) in order to psych myself up to do it 😫

[LaPufalina]

Another vote for oh crap!
We trained my eldest with it in pretty much a morning (for wees anyway!) at 22mo. Youngest is 21mo and we're going to give her a go in a few weeks... doubt it'll be as easy (the proverbial piece of piss) twice

[veryvery]

My daughter also struggles with pulling them down and up. She'll just waddle around with trousers round her ankles 

Yes, but she will only learn by doing. Make sure she has easy trousers like tracksuit bottoms and skirts so she doesn't have to learn too many things all at once. Toys to undress and dress can also help.

[dancingmonkey]

@Aria2015

Is it a preschool nursery? My son is an August baby too and he went to a preschool nursery. Children had to the toilet trained and be able to pull up their own pants and trousers. The teachers wouldn't help. Luckily he trained quickly a couple of months before starting but he did struggle with pulling up his trousers but he just had to learn. I think it depends on the type of nursery.

It is yeah,
My daughter also struggles with pulling them down and up. She'll just waddle around with trousers round her ankles

[ExhaustedBeyondBelief]

I know nursery schools that wont accept children still in a nappy.


Your best bet is definitely talk to the nursery and see what they say

[Soontobe60]

There's plenty of time between now and September for you to train your child. You need to be ruthless with it, plan on not leaving the house for a couple of weeks, and don't expect her to know what to do all by herself. Schools I've worked in that had nurseries did expect children to be out of nappies when they were 3, but also understood that accidents happen. Those still in nappies at 3 were very much in the minority and often had additional needs.

[ExhaustedBeyondBelief]

In a school nursery, Children have to be potty trained.

Obviously if there is SEN , its different

[Ilovesandwiches]

I’m a nursery practitioner myself and can assure you, it’s absolutely fine for your D.C. to not be potty trained yet if they’re not ready. There is no point trying to rush/ put pressure on a child who isn’t ready, any good nursery will support you with potty training when the time is right :) xx

[Aria2015]

Is it a preschool nursery? My son is an August baby too and he went to a preschool nursery. Children had to the toilet trained and be able to pull up their own pants and trousers. The teachers wouldn't help. Luckily he trained quickly a couple of months before starting but he did struggle with pulling up his trousers but he just had to learn. I think it depends on the type of nursery.

[dancingmonkey]

@AluminumMonster

Not to derail exactly but have you read the book 'Oh Crap! Potty Training'
I note you say she wets through her clothes whereas the method detailed might work for her as there are no clothes involved for the first block.

Just had a look for this on amazon, has some amazing reviews, thanks for recommending!

[AluminumMonster]

Not to derail exactly but have you read the book 'Oh Crap! Potty Training'
I note you say she wets through her clothes whereas the method detailed might work for her as there are no clothes involved for the first block.

[dancingmonkey]

Thankyou all for your comments and experiences, has been really helpful!

[THNG5]

Definitely ask them. My son is a late August born as well and started nursery last September. Although the nursery isn't attached to a school, they have one 2 year old class of 20 then take about 100 3-4 year olds.
Anyway, they said that they would prefer the children to be potty trained but would help with whatever stage he was at. He had never shown any signs of being ready but mid-July, I just gave it a go and it actually was very easy for him. He still needs encouragement to go at nursery and there have been the occasional accident but nursery have always been good at helping him.

[Littlehouseinthebigcity]

@SandieCheeks Sorry yes I wasn't clear. Obviously you can change most children by yourself (otherwise how would I manage when DH is at work 😂) but many schools have quite strict safeguarding procedures in place making this 'against the rules'

[Spied]

I think she'll get more from the nursery experience if she's out of nappies.
My guess is that most of the kids will be trained (bar the odd accident) and I'd feel uncomfortable not having made a good start with this. She will quickly catch on that she's one of the few in nappies and I don't think it will help with her confidence or her social development really.
I know when my DC started a 3+ nursery attached to school that the teachers didn't expect to be potty training.

[SandieCheeks]

You only need one adult to change a child - some schools choose to have a requirement for two adults.

[Littlehouseinthebigcity]

Just to add that obviously in the case of SEN then allowances were made - as someone above said the issue is staffing. You really need 2 adults present to change a child so if you only have a teacher and 1 TA for the whole class it's a logistical nightmare

[Quackersandcheese3]

I work in early years and would say it’s not unusual to have children come in nappies.
I think that there’s still quite a while to go to September so think it would be a great opportunity to try toilet training though. In my experience most children who are able to be toilet trained by 3.

[BabyMoonPie]

Just seen its a school nursery so that may be different from our private one

[Littlehouseinthebigcity]

I was an early years teacher and we did expect all children starting nursery (pre-school) to be potty trained. If they weren't they had to be in pull ups, and if they were soiled in theory we were supposed to call the parents to come and change them. In practise obviously we didn't leave children sat in dirty pull ups.
However I also have a dd going to turn 3 in August so feel your pain. We have potty trained but she's had several regressions since lockdown and has frequent wet pants before making it to the potty. However she does then get to the potty and rarely has wet trousers so I'd say worth a try!

[BullshitVivienne]

It would be unfair on children who are delayed to have a blanket rule and could even be discrimination.