Toliet training nearly 4 year old girl

[mandhann]

Have been trying to toilet train my girl since, she was just over 3, we were late starting due to house move and various other life changes. First attempt complete flop and gave up after 2 weeks. 2nd attempt stayed in for a week and that failed too and we were both completly miserable, in the end put her in knickers and just kept changing her. We gave up over christmas on advise of health visitor and went back to pull ups. Have been in knickers for 2 weeks now, trouble is she is still having lots of accidents and the girls at nursery are upsetting her cause they keep calling her a baby and that she smells. We have tried endless charts but these work briefly, then she gets bored. She hates to miss anything (don't we all!) and would rather be dirty. Help am at witts end!

chocolate was the only thing that persuaded my DS. and lots of it, straight away.

tricky when they are reluctant, though, good luck!

regular toileting, I would take her to the toilet religiously every 2 hours! Ask the nursery to do the same.

Eventually she will be able to go longer but until she gets the hang of not wetting herself this is what I would do, good luck!

My friend had a similar problem with her first DD. She bought a big bag of sweets and let her have one everytime she used the potty or toilet. She kept some in her bag too for when they were out.

Have you asked the Nursery staff what they think?

Does she start school in September?

Personally, I be tempted to get some terry nappies and waterproof pants and put her in those.

Have you looked at the toilet training boot camp on here?

here

Thanks for your help, I haven't looked at boot camp so will, give it a look. The nursery are taking her every hour, but she still has accidents. I did try sweets before, but I give her sweets after school as she is isn't keen on going (to nursery school) and I don't want her having to many. Didn't know if I should keep in all next week to try and crack it or try and do normal activities and hope for the best. She starts school in September and most be dry by then or the other kids will really go for her then.

If you are thinking of having a week where you concentrate on potty training and drop the other activities I'd be tempted to do it when the weather is warmer. Potty training is just so much easier when it's warm.

she should be able to go longer than an hour without wetting at age 4 IMO, it might be worth having a chat with hv or gp just to rule anything else out. Does she drink excessively?

If she is having so many accidents, I personally would take her to the toilet every 1/2 hr as though you were potty training from the start. Just build up from there. I didnt even ask my DS as he always said no, I just put him on. They are all so different but she will get there in the end. Just persevere. Good look.

She does drink plenty, and she does have some control as she will finish the wee in the loo, but by then her clothes are always really wet. I tried taking her every hour but I find she then has a right hissy fit and won't even sit on the loo, so I have backed off, but nursery are still taking her every hour. Yes prob will wait till easter to stay in for week.

Yes definately have a week with no activities. Follow the boot camp to the letter and I'm sure you'll crack it at Easter

Don't fret about school - it is a long way off in potty training terms and many kids will have accidents at school. The staff are used to this and if you highlight a need for extra vigilance or encouragement they should help out.

Thanks for your help, yes have looked at it and will follow it. I have done most bits of it will definately have another go :)

Training pants (plastic backed) are good. When my DD was learning, we got some from Bright Bots and they are great as at least they contain a wee escape incident enough so that you don't have to change all their clothes, just the pants. However, they still let the child feel properly wet unlike pull-ups or nappies.

I would also second the chocolate/reward idea. Or cheap plastic tat off eBay. I got my daughter some tiny Monsters Inc figures (total outlay about a tenner for thirty or so) and moved on to a Smartie per successful wee or poo once she'd got the idea. But honestly smarties would be fine, or chocolate buttons or whatever.

Agree with Tras, I'd start by taking her to the doctors. If she is going to the toilet every 2 hours and still having accidents she needs checking out.

Then, I'd do the boot camp, no other activities, but I'd still wait until the weather is warmer.

Has she chosen her own pants and does she have any story books about potty training?

Both of mine liked this one.

I'm having the same problem, apart from dd seems to be wetting on purpose, can go no probs for nana and granny etc.
I'm following this advice from whomovedmychocolate, only been a day but no accidents at all
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/potty_training/1145950-DD-defiance-driving-us-crazy
Good luck

whomovedmychocolate has given you excellent advice there katiepotatie - attention and praise for success and as little attention as possible for mishaps whether on purpose or not.