Newborn stage gets easier right?

[Chaoscontrol]

I wanted my baby for so so long, I knew when me and my now husband got together we would one day have a baby.

We had an early miscarriage a couple years ago which made us both realise just how much we wanted this.

My girl was born just over a week ago and I feel like I've entirely lost myself and who I was. My routine has gone, my freedom has gone and why do I feel so horrible for feeling like this?

Her birth was quite traumatic for both me and my husband, I feel like I've not processed exactly what happened yet, but have to take care of this tiny human without crying all the time.

The love I have for this girl outweighs everything, but why is this so so hard? Is it okay to feel like this. I feel guilty, like I didn't know this would happen. I find myself wishing some days away so it gets a bit easier.

Am I an awful mum?

I'm a week in as well and honestly I think the bone shattering tiredness amplifies everything. I think it's normal though to grieve your old Life as well it's quite scary thinking it will never be just the 2 of you again . But at the same time I would t change it for the world . Do you have anyone that could help even to sit with baby while you get an hour or two of sleep ?