Hi everyone I was just coming on to have a chat really. I'm pretty young and everyone was telling me how I should have a water birth and it'll be all natural and beautiful and baby will come right onto my chest. Baby was late and my waters broke they told me to go home and wait for contractions so I did.
Once I got to the hospital they said there's two sets of waters and only the one behind the baby has broke so they had to break the others. I thought okay not the end of the world and I was put into a different room. My contractions weren't coming quick enough so I had to be put on the drip to speed things up. Again, I just kept telling myself it will all be over soon. I had pain relief through a drip and you press it during contractions but they did tell me they'd have to take it off me when they thought I was about to give birth.
I was pushing and nothing was happening it must've been going on for over an hour until I decided I couldn't take it anymore I was in agony. They kept telling me they could see babys head but nothing was happening. The doctor came in did an internal and told me baby was sideways and that they could try and turn baby around. I said okay whatever needs to be done. They tried to give me an epidural 5 times all of which failed. They ended up holding me down and tried numbing me but I was in pain screaming for them to get off but wouldn't so they ended up putting me to sleep.
Once baby was out turns out baby weighed 10 pounds and 3oz and the doctor told me I would've been ripped open if baby did come out.
Despite all of this, I thought it's okay baby is safe and I just need to recover. My partner was able to be there so be grateful I thought. Baby was crying uncontrollably and nothing would make baby stop crying. My partner had to leave at night but I couldn't get up and get to baby so I lay there crying and the midwife came. She tried winding baby and nothing happened, she said it's normal it's what babys do. I knew it wasn't normal. Me and baby were on antibiotics and I could tell my baby was still in distress.
Someone came in in the morning and told me baby had to be taken due to thinking baby has sepsis and meningitis. This was the last straw for me, I broke down, I felt helpless. I couldn't even get up to change my babys nappy and now baby is being taken from me. I went down to NCU with my partner and we saw baby in the incubator, baby was more relaxed but I still didn't feel relieved. It felt like my baby had been taken away from me and still does. I only got to hold my baby and cuddle for barely anytime before baby had to be put in an incubator.
Anyway, they think I can be dispatched from hospital and that I would have to come back and visit baby. We get the results back tomorrow on how long baby needs to be on antibiotics for but it's at least 5 days but could be up to 21. I feel a terrible guilt and only got the tiniest bit of sleep last night due to exhaustion.
I just wanted to feel like I've let something out somewhere anyway, wanted to say how I'm feeling. I feel like my baby will come out and be confused as since only being a few days old baby is already away from me. Thanks to whoever read this anyway.