Last week i gave birth to a beautiful and healthy baby girl who i have wanted for so long but i do not feel happy. I feel i cannot bond with her even though i love her so much. I had a difficult la st couple of months of pregnancy where i was in pain where she had engaged. Labour was also traumatic. I had the bloody show on the 4th march then soon after i was having constant contractions. I visited the hospital 3 times because i could not sit or lie down due to the pain. Whenever i went to the toilet i wanted to push what i thought was poo but actually was my baby. The hospital gave me different pai n killers and none worked. I went for four days with no sleep. On the 9th in the early hours my waters finally broke. I was finally admitted given pethodone and put on antibiotics for strep b. By 8am the contractions grew even stronger and 11:53 am she was born. But i had to be cut because i had grown exhausted a nd she distressed. I lost 1.2 litres of blood but i had a healthy daughter that i knew i wanted. We had to stay in until the next day because of the strep and my iron levels. But when we got home i felt so useless. I could not do much because of the soreness and hemoroid i also have.I feel robbed of those early bonding moments that her dad has had. I keep crying and want to run away.Why is this happening??
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