Can't cope with baby's constant screaming

[Flatwhite32]

I love my six week old DD so much, but for the last 2 weeks she has screamed pretty much constantly and I'm on the verge of a breakdown over it. She barely sleeps during the day so is very overtired, and I don't know how to improve this. I have tried everything, including buying 2 books and trying their suggestions, but absolutely nothing is working. I'm convinced she has reflux as she has every symptom of it, so I'll speak to the GP about that at her 6 week check this week. Was prescribed infant Gaviscon a few weeks ago, but it hasn't worked. The evenings are the worst. We get 5 hours of non stop screaming every night, and she won't sleep before 11pm. Thankfully her sleep during the night isn't too bad, possibly because she's so tired from screaming and not sleeping. I'm breastfeeding her and expressing, and she has recently started being really fussy during feeds. She was such a placid baby when we brought her home and fed really well, but she has completely changed recently. She is currently screaming the place down and DH and I are at a complete loss as to what to do. She has been fed, she's clean, her nappy is clean, and her environment is calm. She sounds so so upset and I can't bear it any more.

Have you tried white noise? We used to park my d's in front of the dishwasher every night. It was the only thing that calmed him down.

Don't want to read & run - it is such a tough stage. I would try & contact your health visitor tomorrow for advice. It could be colic. Baby massage can help soothe that. Most children's centres offer free courses. I ended up giving my son renatadine which seemed to help. As horrible as it is, it does pass (eventually!).

Colic? Reflux? Or a growth spurt or like mine very early teething as he has a tooth coming at 9 weeks. Mine bf and us way worse with expressed bottles as getstlo much air
No real advice but hang in there!
Congrats on baby.

You poor things, you must be exhausted.
I’d call your HV tomorrow and wouldn’t wait for your 6 wk check up. It sounds like reflux. This site might have some ideas: www.livingwithreflux.org
Keep your baby upright, my son would only sleep on his tummy and wanted to be upright almost all of the time. He did eventually grow out of it but it was exhausting. I hope you get things sorted x

Have you got the wonderweeks app? There is a developmental leap at this time, they start to notice the world around them, which is a really big deal.

I still remember this stage vividly and it was awful but it will pass.

Phone your hv tomorrow and explain. Mine had reflux so was in pain but once diagnosed finally got the required medication.

I also used white noise and would sometimes go and stand outside for a few minutes for respite. It will get better eventually.

Yes @Kewqueue unfortunately it doesn't work. I was advised to try a dummy but she rejects it. I've tried baby massage techniques from YouTube, but maybe I need to attend a class.

Health visitor suggested colief but it doesn't work. Neither do infacol or gripe water. She then said to go to the GP, which we are doing any way (her check is tomorrow thankfully). I feel like I've exhausted every option. I feel like walking out the house as I can't cope with it any more. Tonight her screaming is extremely loud and she just won't stop. I love her so much, but I don't know how much more I can take (and how much she can take too. The poor girl is just exhausted with it all). I'm supposed to be going to two baby classes this week, but I'll have to cancel as I can't bear the thought of her screaming through them.

@Cyw2018 Yes I have that. She's definitely taking in much more this week.

I feel like such a useless mum, and like my milk is poisoning her, as she is visibly distressed after feeds (and sometimes during too).

Oh god that sounds really tough. I think it's worth a trip to the GP ASAP to start the ball rolling. It does sound like reflux. Could also be a milk allergy, I know some people have had success reducing these symptoms when they cut out dairy or other food groups from their diet. Hours and hours of screaming isn't normal so should be investigated. If it is reflux, the positive thing is that they can grow out of it very quickly.
Crossing my fingers for you that it does for you - you must be so exhausted by it all.

You're not a useless mum. But I totally empathise with the feeling of impotence when you can't soothe their discomfort.
Have you tried a good sling to keep her upright?

Your not useless! Baby just is struggling for some reason and your doing your best. If she's putting on weight etc then your doing fine.
I feel the walking out horror,many hours walking garden all night with mine. Your doing great. Hopefully doctor will help

We used to take ours out in the car; the noise and the motion lulled him off to sleep.

Put some headphones on and listen to some music or an audiobook whilst you work on finding out what you need to do to calm her.

It can be really tough when your breastfeeding and you are the only one who can give her what she needs. You are doing a great job, and this tough phase will pass.

Do you bed share/ feed lying down, so that at least you can be comfy and relaxed(ish) when feeding?

You’re not a terrible mum. My DD has silent reflux and was much the same until she was on proper medication.

I would suggest videoing the crying to show the doctor tomorrow, mine didn’t realise how bad it was until I showed her.

I could have wrote this myself 2 weeks ago. I’ve a 12 week old and from 2weeks-10 weeks he didn’t stop and never slept in the day at all and barely at night. Brought every product available and all the special milks. The only thing that worked and changed our lives was colief. Expensive but works if you use as directed. Results took about 4 days x

DS was like this, he's 7 now and I still remember what a grim grim time this was

Do you have a sling? Could you bundle up and go out and walk? Nothing worse than pacing/bouncing and the constant screaming where nobody really knows what to do.

Stay strong, it WILL pass

Sounds like reflux alright.

If you have a late night pharmacy close by go and get some Carobel.You can give it to her before her feeds. It will thicken the milk in her tummy.All natural ingredients so nothing that can do any harm. You will notice a difference immediately.

Although I will say I had to stop breastfeeding which I didn’t want to do and put him on a slightly thicker milk to keep down.

If you suspect reflux, don’t feed her lying down! Feed her as upright as poss. Keep her upright after feeds. Hold her upright to sleep if poss. Reflux is horribly painful.

Good luck tomorrow. Press for answers and drugs!

I've had two babies like this.

Weeks 6 through to 10 are always the worst. That's when they really try and make you lose the fucking plot. You won't believe me right now, but honestly it does generally start getting better.

You aren't doing anything wrong, but sometimes it's a bit like cluedo trying to work out the right combination of 'stuff' that will calm the baby down on that occasion.

If reflux and overtiredness are definite possibilities then it's really worth trying a sling - keeps her upright and the movement and the cosines may help her fall asleep.

I think DD2 pretty much lived over my shoulder like a parrot around this stage if she wasn't in the sling.

Also look up 'tiger in the tree' hold. Great for stopping them crying.

OP please hang on in there! I could have written this post myself. I have an 11 week old and for the first 8 weeks she screamed non stop. We brought her to GP, health nurse, osteopath, children's hospital (after a 12 hour screaming fit) and finally a paediatrician.
Things that helped in the end:
-Zantac prescribed by paediatrician
-Time: there was a huge change after 8 wks

• Sling: keep her in it as much as possible, it's comforting and helps digestion
• Sleep: do whatever you can in these early days to get her to sleep whether it's safe co-sleeping, sling, swing, car seat, pram etc- all while keeping an eye on her of course

What a great idea @BifsWif. Record this tonight to show your GP tomorrow. Be honest with them about how you feel too.

What a super mummy you are @Flatwhite32 things are tough yet here you are taking advice and being proactive and breastfeeding your precious bundle. Stay strong, and walk out into the garden when it gets too much.

How much support do you have around you?

also with regards dummy - keep trying it. It might seem like she's rejecting it but their suction is often not developed enough to hold it very long
baby massage classes- I honestly wouldn't put yourself through it. I signed up for a 5 week course, and week after week spent the entire class trying to stop her crying and never got to do any massage while the rest of the class were happily working away with their babies. I ended up just crying silently in the corner at the waste of time and money. Just get the info online and practice when she's calm

What about looking into cranial osteopathy? I have a few friends who swear by it.

https://m.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2016/10/19/cranial-osteopathy-can-it-help-your-child-sleepnn_7382028.html?guccounter=1

It is just awful listening to your baby crying and feeling powerless to help them.

Lots of good suggestions on here but until you can get some help and hopefully a solution, can you and your DH try taking it in shifts to be with her? It's so tough listening to the screaming for prolonged periods. If you took 30 mins to go for a quiet walk, you might at least have a bit of respite? Hang in there.

Has she been checked for a tongue/lip tie?