Can I have a hand hold, week old baby in hospital

[GKite]

I had my daughter a week ago, we've been admitted into the children's ward as she's lost 10% birth weight, she's jaundiced, hard to feed and very sleepy. They are about to put a tube in her throat to tube feed her and I cannot stop crying. I'm still recovering from my c section, I have two other kids who are struggling, my milk is still free flowing from my rock hard boulders, on top of that I've discovered that I have yet another blood clot in my leg. I just want to go home to my bed, life's so hard atm. I'm on my own as we don't have any childcare for the other kids.
😭

Gkite I am so sorry. You sound like you are having a horrid time but your daughter is getting the care she needs to thrive. Hopefully once she’s feeding enough and her jaundice is dealt with she will be able to come home and thrive.

Be kind to yourself, and make sure you rest and eat well! Your kids need a healthy mummy too and it can be easy to forget about you when your child is unwell

I am holding your hand. Your baby will be fine, they are treating her jaundice the best way possible. I know it’s horrible now but in a few weeks it will be a distant memory. Try to remember to eat and drink yourself

Good Lord @GKite how scary! So sorry - here are all the hands to hold 🤚 🤚 🤚
Have you got good support around you? Sending healing vibes.

Oh dear! I went through this with my 2yo. He was very poorly and it was exhausting. Try to get time for simple things, like food and a shower. And get someone to bring in a decent blanket and pillows for you. It’s completely ok to be overwhelmed and exhausted - I hope you have some support to help with the other children too. Sending much love

He was 2 days old at the time; he’s 2 now :)

Hey this must be hellish, being away from your kid in these circumstances. But we have one of the best medical support in the country, I’m sure baby will be fine x

Much love

Ahh love, that's a hard situation to be in. Just keep reminding yourself 'this won't last forever'. Just recovering from a C section, and all that entails is a tough one. Seeing your little one tube fed would be enough to reduce me to tears at best of times. She's getting the best care though, to help her in this early stage. If I was there, would hold your hand for real. Sending a hug through the magic of mumsnet. Can you express and save for her?

I had an emcs with ds. Was about to he discharged until they realised he had jaundice - born @35weeks at 5-7 and went down quickly. Kept in a week and cried daily-remember those awful hormones won't be helping, He slept in a tank with lights - looked like a torture chamber (hormones at their worst) until he started to go a lovely pink. They let us home @4-12, the cut off for staying in even longer.
Try and relax, take advantage of meals on wheels and advice from the mw. Even the cleaning staff managed to keep me cheery.
You wil both be home before you know it.

Handhold from me. I hope things improve and your baby gains weight quickly. Thinking of you x

My first two were hospitalised with jaundice. The first time was awful. The second time they had a blanket they put partly inside his nappy so I could hold him more, can you ask for that?

Have you got a breast pump? The hospital gave me the use of one while I was in and it gave me something to focus on at least.

Holding hands and sending hugs. My twins (born 33weeks), were very poorly, and fed my milk via nasal gastric tube. They were prodded and poked, scanned and kept in incubators.
I promise you, the medics are doing their utmost to figure out what is causing the issues for your little one. Hopefully, they will have a treatment plan in place v v soon and you will be home before you know it.

I too was alone is hospital as my DH had to be at home too and I also had ECS. It is lonely and isolating, however, reach out to other parents in neo natal as you will all be supporting each other.
I hope this will all be a distant memory for you soon.

Sending and lots of
Hugs. Be kind to yourself.

DS1 was the same. Hopefully his bilirubin levels will come down really quickly OP and you can take him home soon

Mine was the same and at 6 weeks prem. while sat in hospital I allowed myself to have a good cry. I put on an audiobook and hung my hand over the edge of the incubator as couldn't hold her for long. We were out within a week but was total rubbish xx it'll be worth it!

Thank you all, I know I'm being a wuss and she's in a great place but this is extremely alien to me. I've never had a baby loose so much weight and just a bit scared by it all tbh.
Any idea how long she could be tube fed for?
I'm absolutely exhausted, I'm struggling to be strong for my girl 😭

Aw op I went through a very similar experience with my first baby after a having a c section. She had weight loss, dehydration, jaundiced, was re-admitted to the children's ward and put under lamps in a special cot. I cried a lot! Just wanted to hold her but couldn't! She didn't need tube feed as she managed to feed from a bottle every 2 hours, she was on quite a strict regimen though, had to give her a certain amount every couple of hours. Spent most of my time attached to a pump! Hope she is able to get home to you soon.

Same thing happened to me and my son a few years ago. He'd lost 15% of his birth weight and was too drowsy and dehydrated to feed so was admitted. We topped up breast feeding with formula and after a day he'd perked up and we went home again on the third day. Babies go downhill fast but can equally recover quickly again once feeding is sorted.

I remember how horrible it was at the time and the nights were especially lonely. You also have my sympathy if you are sleeping on a fold out bed on the children's ward!

So her blood results came back normal, her bilirubin is fine and well under the treatment line so they won't be doing anything for jaundice.
They've tried 4 times!!!!! To get a tube down her nose but apparently they aren't managing to get it to go down so she was put on iv fluids.
Unsure what the next step is, I think she's just a sleepy baby and will waken over the next few weeks, as she does wake herself for feeds but not sure if that's gonna be enough to let us be discharged

I'm sorry OP that you and your baby are having such a tough time. Unfortunately jaundice can be very serious and will likely require more invasive feeding and treatment for a little while longer if she has been struck hard with it to date.

You also mention a blood clot in your leg? Has this been confirmed and are you getting adequate monitoring and treatment for it? It can be extremely serious in the post-partum period and I just wanted to make sure you yourself are being properly looked after, as you (understandably) only mention the baby. I had a blood clot post-partum as well and it was terrifying. In my case, the clot developed a bit later - right after my jaundiced baby was given the all-clear, so I was back in hospital without the baby which was tough.

Be gentle on yourself. Make sure you don't lose your own need for treatment and of course recovery from the birth. And best wishes for a speedy recovery for your baby.

Was she born early op? My daughter was born at 37 weeks and was very sleepy. She didn't seem to wake up properly til her due date 3 weeks later. It was like she knew she wasn't supposed to he here yet! Hopefully she will be a bit better today once the iv fluids kick in. It has probably been considered but maybe ask the staff if they have ruled out strep b infection. This was found when my daughter was re-admitted at 2 days old and was a contributing factor to her not feeding well.

She was a week early as it was planned c section, they've done heaps of swabs and its all come back normal
Shes feeding a bit better since the fluids, she's actually taken in 30ml (usually it's about 10ml) but she's still sick.
Yeah I've had my clot confirmed pp but due to being in here I've now missed 2 injections so really hoping to get home today, my dressing also come off yesterday and my scar is bleeding from constantly having to get up to attend to baby (woe is me I know) but it's easier at home with help

Wee update, they put a tube down her throat but still allowed her to be bottle fed 🙄 most pointless thing ever as it just made her gag. Stupid nurse lady forced 60ml into her in one sitting and so my poor baby girl spewed it all up and the tube. They want another tube down the nose, I want to go home. Been told that she won't be going home until she's weighed but surely they can't keep me here? They are doing absolutely nothing that I couldn't be doing at home?

60mls does seem a lot, my dd was on 30mls every 2 hours. Sorry you seem to be no further on, hope you get home soon.

This sounds horrendous sorry op.

My lo has been tube fed on and off. There is a very thin silk tube they keep in stock for prem babies. They keep them in nicu, if they haven't already tried that ask them to. It's more bendy and easier to get down. We always struggled getting the tube down ds as his got small twisted sinasus and that tube always worked. You can also try sitting baby up while the tube is fed down.

I know the tube feeds seem horrid but actually baby can just sleep and rest and grow while being fed.

They should have her feeds based on her weight. Normally baby takes what they can from the bottle and then the remainder of the feed is put down the tube. If she's not coping with a gravity feed they could try and feeding pump.

I know it's hard now but stay strong this time will pass and will soon be a distant memory.

I told them that I didn't want another tube going down, they may not even manage it considering they did try 4 times so now on two hourly feeds at 40 mls
She's already had two feeds of 40ml and seems to be coping ok with them (minimal spew and she's actually sleeping between feeds, compared to when the tube was in) so really really hoping they will let us out tomorrow. I'm sitting in the room wailing my head off, I miss my kids and my partner so much it actually hurts