To give up Breast Feeding already!

[FraggleRock77]

So undecided! I'm 8 days post section and still struggling with pain and very high blood pressure. After a horrible pregnancy and 14 weeks on bedrest, I've just had enough. DS now 4 was born at 29 weeks and we had so many feeding issues. Current baby feeds like a dream but is lazy on the breast so I've been expressing and mixing with formula but just can't face it any more! Not sure what help/advice I'm looking for, just feel incredibly guilty!

Just remember - fed is best. You need to do what you need to do

Do whatever you need to do for you. They won't care! I have two DS, one breast fed and one bottle fed, they are both fine, fit and healthy.

If your a baby is feeding like a dream use the time for skin to skin time to increase his enthusiasm!! I had ds at 35 weeks by emcs and fb the same day - skin to skin really helped him get going!! You are doing great - no need to ff as your body will adjust very soon to your dc demands. .

Congratulations on your baby and I'm sorry you are feeling so rough. Firstly, can you get your pain under better control? You should not be left in a situation of severe pain. Please speak to your GP or hospital and insist on adequate pain relief.

I don't quite understand the "feeds like a dream but is lazy on the breast" issue. Can you clarify? If it means you have to express around the clock for her, that in my experience is utterly draining and extremely hard to sustain. Do you think her issues can be improved so you can breastfeed or combo-feed without the need to express too? If I were you and as it seems you'd really like to breastfeed in an ideal world, I think I'd set a deadline of a couple of days time and in the meantime throw everything I could at fixing the problem - lactation consultant, helpline etc. But have a clear goal in mind and if in X days you are still miserable spending six hours a day expressing, then I would let it go. If BF works well it is wonderful but when it doesn't, it is incredibly difficult for very limited real world benefits. I never managed the goal of EBF and the guilt with my first was terrible. With my second, I was much more level-headed. Formula and breastfeeding are both excellent ways to feed a baby. You are perfectly free to BF or not for whatever reason. I know it feels so hard when you want to buy it isn't working but please don't let guilt move in.

If you are suffering mentally /emotionally then do what you need to do.
BUT as a mama who's exclusively bf three little ones I remember the teeth gritting feeling very well lol! So, if you feel strongly that you want to bf then I'd advise joining cherubs for some mama support! Good luck on your journey :)

Just to echo everyone else, you have to do whatever works for you and not feel under any pressure or obligation to carry on if it's getting you down. However, like the above PP, I am currently bf my third baby and fully sympathise with how agonising those early days are. Particularly when you're recovering from birth and pregnancy. What I will say though, is that by day 10 ish with all 3 of my kids, that toe-curling pain subsides and it becomes much much more manageable. Enjoyable even, in some cases. And no making bottles in the dead of night. You are almost there.....but I do realise how hard it is. Whatever you decide is right, as it's only you and the baby that matter in the decision.

Don't feel guilty. Do what you need to do. Your baby will do perfectly well on formula. He's had the colostrum and you've done really well to get this far so if you feel you want to then switch to formula. Dont let anyone make you feel guilty.

Can you describe what's happening a bit more? If you want to carry on bf there are plenty of people on here who can offer some help.

Thank you for all the feedback. After thinking long and hard yesterday I'm going to keep trying with the BF. My milk is quickly disappearing though, only 30mls each breast, so topping up as well. Am expressing after every BF try with DS. Any other suggestions?x

Please dont think that the amount you express is an indication or your supply. It really isn't. I couldn't express more than 2-3oz over a whole day but still managed to ebf my ds quite well for the first 6 months (and still bfing now at 22mo).

Please remember that expressing is in no way the same as feeding.

I can't express. It's hopeless. Been feeding for 7mths. Same with other children. Nearly 2 years.

I'd keep putting baby to breast. The whole formula and pumping become an exhausting circle.

Who is supporting you in RL?

If you can, don't express or top up. The best way to up your supply is to feed and feed and feed. Can you just stay in bed with a box set and the baby? Wake him up if necessary.

Keep an eye on the nappies. Get him weighed regularly. Drink plenty and eat well.

I had plenty of milk, by the way, but I could only express pathetic amounts, so don't measure your supply by how much you can express.

MWs coming out today. Been given limited support by them really. DH being amazing. Need to find some local advice really.x

Don't beat yourself up Nd spend your first days with baby worrying about breastfeeding, I speak from experience

Will keep putting to the breast. Just don't want to loose my milk x

Thank you for all the info. Will keep going x

"Will keep putting to the breast. Just don't want to loose my milk x"

You won't if you keep feeding. Why do you think you might?

Just a bit stressed that's all.x

Ok. So if you have no reason to think you have a problem with supply, then see if you can stop expressing and topping up and settle in bed or on the sofa and feed loads. It really is the best way to up your supply and get you dome much needed rest as well!

By the way, I have heard of a herbal remedy that's really good for bf mothers. It's easy to find in supermarkets- it's called "chocolate"

8 days is very early. i just remember feeling overwhelmed and like I couldn't cope at various times for various reasons and i look back on it now and realise it was such a short time before something else changed again. it gets easier, and harder, then easier again, doesn't it. i just think BF is important, and that definitely gets easier!

Op I had no milk supply after section, was given drugs to make milk supply come in but was still negligible. I was in hospital with babies in nicu and had every midwife, breastfeeding counsellor, lactation consultant, nursery nurse helping. Still barely any milk, babies were tiny and never managed to let her once in a month and I was ill and had to have an operation. I got fed up with the whole breastfeeding pressure and eventually just bottle fed them some formula. We were lowed home the next day hallelujah I was going insane!
Chocolate no help I'm afraid.
Do what's right for you whatever that may be. I won't be having more kids but if I did I wouldn't even attempt to bf it caused me nothing but stress.
Good luck!
Also my kids are top if the class and haven't had a day off school sick in five years.

Thank you x

I couldn't express at all with DD1. I managed sometimes with DD2, but that was when I couldn't give her a feed at all, and had to have a supply ready frozen for her for 24 hours which she wouldn't touch, fussy little git. I have gallons of milk and could probably have fed the entire street, but the amount I expressed was small.

It is entirely up to you how you decide to feed your baby. I loved feeding, both of them fed well from the breast and DD1 was allergic to formula milks anyway, so I would have been stuffed otherwise. When DD1 had a child, she started breast feeding, but found it a real struggle and phoned me in tears. What she wanted was permission to stop and put DGD on a bottle. I told her that it was just as good as breast feeding and she never looked back. You don't actually need our permission - do what suits you best.

Look up the 'top up trap' to explain how formula will affect your supply.

Make sure you are doing 'paced feeding' with any bottles you give.

The amount you can express is no reflection on your supply, babies are usually far more effective at getting milk out than a pump is.

Is it just the fact you are struggling to express that is making you think your milk is disappearing or anything else making you think that?

Lots of women feel they have not got enough milk, when in reality this is only true for a small percentage.

Make sure you are offering the breast as often as possible, plus lots of skin to skin while feeding.

What do you mean feeds like a dream but lazy on the breast? If you are able to explain a bit more, it will be easier to give ideas to help if there is a problem or reassure if it sounds normal