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Postnatal health

As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

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Original poster

No bond with baby

6 replies

Matilda30 · 23/09/2015 09:02

Not sure where to put this. My baby is 9 days old n I'm not feeling that bond you're meant to feel. I had a CS and they didn't do anything in my birth plan, I didn't see him lifted out and no skin to skin so not sure if that has an impact as sometimes it feels like he's not mine. We don't have our parents to help, so it's mainly just us so it's tough but I'm terrified the feeling will never come. I hope it's normal or just baby blues.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Iloveonionchutney · 23/09/2015 09:07

It's perfectly normal, especially after what sounds like a very different north to what you hoped.
I never had an instant rush of love and it took me about 12 weeks to bond, there was a thread a few days ago with similar stories I'll try and find it for you now.
And congratulations

CaramelCurrant · 23/09/2015 09:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iloveonionchutney · 23/09/2015 09:11

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2469800-To-think-that-its-ok-that-I-didnt-bond-with-my-son-straight-away

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 23/09/2015 09:16

Congratulations Matilda

I think this is really normal and remember it's your long term relationship with your child that matters. I know lots of people who found that the bond developed over time and was no less strong for it.

How are you feeling in yourself? Don't be scared to chat to your mw or HV about this - they won't be at all surprised or shocked as it is very normal. Do chat more to us if it would help too. Early baby days can be quite a shock to the system and can be tough going - it can help to talk about it.

I'm sorry you didn't get to do skin-to-skin straightaway - it might still be nice to do it now?

Original poster

Matilda30 · 23/09/2015 10:26

Thank you, I'm currently doing skin to skin with a very hiccuppy baby. But I've struggled to find time for skin to skin in between keeping baby alive and looking after the house. I think we both thought it would be easier, sometimes I think I was foolish to think we could do this because people usually have more help. But today I'm going to do more feeding and holding and let dp do house stuff. Also going to cancel visitors for a few days. People keep asking if I just sit there looking at him and I don't, but then I don't think I have time.

OP posts:

Dixiechick17 · 24/09/2015 22:47

I did skin to skin after feeds, so she would sleep on me for a while before going in the Moses basket or crib. Definitely cancel visitor s for a few days, unless they are bringing you some dinners. Remember that you don't have to be Supermum cleaning, cooking and doing washing etc, you just need to both focus on being Mum and Dad in those first few weeks, finding your feet and getting to know your baby.

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