FESH spa and creche: The Ultimate Destination for survivors of the Palace and Deli: Prologue

[CurlyCasperBaggedABairn]

Welcome weary travellers. It's been a long road, but you made it! Now, hard as it might be, leave your ESH spawn at the creche and step into the spa - where we have every treatment available to soothe your Amityville Horror undercarriage, ravaged raspberries and worn out wits. And - wait for it - we've got the bar back. And it's all-inclusive

So, what are you waiting for? Grab a glass, lower yourself into the jacuzzi and lets get chatting. We are Forever ESH!

P.S Children never cry here...

rots Are you sleeping in a bra soaked overnight in Rachel's organic yoghurt?

I'm ashamed to say I've only just posted the thank you cards to the midwife/SCBU/maternity people. Where has the last month gone? Bear is a month old tomorrow!

rots I had to nip out this morning as we were dangerously low on both bog roll and dog food. Mutiny on both counts should they run out. But yes, the rest of the weekend will be pyjama'd up and prone.

Cossie How long does it take a baybee to become engaged... weeks? days? hours? So glad you had a good time at work - that job/office/people has panned out so well for you - it all came together in the end considering the uncertainty of 14 (?) months ago. Lovely pressies too!

curly At the stables last weekend we met Justin who was also a five and a half pounder just 3 months ago - he was hugeeeeeee!

cassie I know where you're coming from about the photos... and I think I agree with rots - post them, and if someone doesn't like seeing them they can always hide you.

Can I really be having a period already? I had dried up. But this is fresh and seems like the droid. I thought I had a good few more months free of that.

rots I do worry about your dreams. Thanks to you and ski for the photos feedback. I shall continue and people can say/think what they like.

rots I hope you fare better at the docs today. And, yes, I still have an extreme grunter. To the extent that she sleeps in her own room already. We keep the doors open, although I probably don't need to because I can still hear the grunts and squeaks, and can really hear when she wakes properly and cries. She still cries out in her sleep though, so I have been known to get up and prepare for feed, only to reach her cot and find her flat out again. Grrrrrrr.

ski. Babies grow far too quickly! Squeaks was (SFF tells me) over 8lb when weighed on the kitchen scales last night. She has had about a week with newborn clothes fitting and now she is growing out of some. She has lots of "outfits" in the next size up, but I am going to try to get out today to shop for bigger basics. To think she was all underweight and worrying us just 5 weeks ago I see Bear is coming on in leaps and bounds too. Loving the pix.

cossie I don't even remember any talk about Squeaker being engaged. sorry....

Right, I should not be on here when she is snoozing. I should attempt to get washed and go out.

ski I was thinking that just the other day, looking back I was so miserable in the other job, even though it "should" have been ideal. Am so happy where I work now, they are such a great bunch.

fanny happy to meet up before I've layed if you're up to it?

curly I too am amazed about the clothes - considering I was in tears a month ago because the only stuff we had for him made him look like a gangsta with tops down to his knees and great big baggy trousers... and already he's in the next size up and I'm going to have to start bagging stuff up for number 2! He's very long still and not particularly chubby... have no idea where he gets that from! V good idea about kitchen scales btw... am picturing some Anne Geddes type scenario now!

Ya, boo sucks to droid - we are using condoms "just in case".

Curly I too was surprised when droid reappeared which seemed incredible early! I even went to the Doctor complaining that the post partum bleeding (which went on for 6 weeks) had returned and she said "no love, that'll be your period coming back". I felt a bit of a fool as I naively thought that if I breastfed it wouldn't return until I stopped.

I agree with ski re photos. Those who are not interested just won't look, those who are will.

Hi all, not finding much time to post! Too much staring/ feeding to do!

Am posting from phone, so is hard to catch up...

Anyway, quick update... Dog seems fine, quite interested, but only in a passing way... We are getting visitors to fuss him when they first arrive, which is good ao he doesn't feel left out. Breast feeding is good, after a couple of days of finding it hard, is now fine..

moo asked about hippo, which was the marie mongon method - hypnobirthing. That was what I used.

ski I wasn't fussed about the c sect option because I just wanted her out ok by then, but they tried so hard to let me do the thing myself, hence the many hours at full dilation waiting for an urge to push! The hosp staff were amazing... I always had a midwife with me, who mostly sat quietly observing me. The dr would drop in every once in a while. Am glad I avoided a c sect, but if I hadn't it would have been ok.

rots apparently I spent two hours in the pool, but I remembered it as less time! It felt too hot for me, cos I was so hot, and I couldn't get into a good position for contractions, I was much better standing up!

Anyway... I hope everyone is ok. am happy to join in London meet ups!

iggy I think the only bad positions in the pool are standing up and on your back (unless you have a snorkel ). So pleased things worked out in the end and you have a gorgeous little one. Welcome to the other side!

Comma also is growing out of first size clothes although I'm pleased that I've fed through the pain as it were and he's growing well despite the problems. GP today was the same GP as last time. I took the leaflet I posted here and persuaded her to give me double the fluconazole dose and also some more topical treatment. She said she wasn't convinced it was thrush and sometimes BF just hurt. I said no it doesn't - there's always a reason. She said that my nips still didn't look too sore - I pointed out that often thrush doesn't cause sore-LOOKING nips. I said to her that the last GP (from the same practice) had given me nystatin which isn't the optimum treatment given the latest data, and perhaps she'd like to keep the leaflet and share it with her colleagues .

Anyways, I am starting to feel better so I think the fluconazole is starting to work. I'm also heavy dosing the acidophilus and have today had delivery of the grapefruit seed extract so will start that regime tomorrow (thanks fanny).

cas I am with you on the moving babe to her own room! We can't with Comma as LC's room is between our room and the spare rooms so when he cries he'd wake LC if we moved him out of our room. It's amazing I get enough sleep to have my dreams about y'all, frankly.

Shattering day. GP at 10.30, then I had to go to town to sort out some school uniform stuff for LC, and then drove out to a light railway steam thingy place for a kiddie party for LC. I took Comma and left YOB at home to work thinking - kiddie party - I can sit and drink coffee with the other mums. Turns out not. Most of the other mums didn't stay and I ended up one of 5 adults herding cats 5 year old boys between steam trains and bouncy castles. Comma was totally overwhelmed with the steam engine smells and noise, and shouty kids, and spent the entire 3 hours attached to one breast or another, which was awkward when I was also trying to handle nosebleeds, vomiting, "he kicked me"s, "he strangled me"s and enormous numbers of cartons of juice. On top of that we discovered a nappy wrap which has degraded and was leaking at the gusset and I ended up with baby pee over my trousers, which was nice.

Then Comma's drunk so much milk that he's been chucking it up all tonight. I think he's done to himself the equivalent of the bottle twisting .

Gosh at droid. Bummer. at ski using condoms on the basis that require condoms you need to do the sex. I am in awe. I can't remember how long droid took to come back after LC. Didn't matter - ex refused to go near me after I got diffed the first time .

ski bra soaked in yoghurt? I told you lovie, I'm NOT doing the sex . You can be kinky if you want to!

Seriously tho, I am going to buy a load of live yoghurt - but not for topical application! The thrush is inside the milk ducts so that's why the cream is of limited value. Eating the stuff may help.

carrots Your breasts "don't look sore"? Christ - I hope she doesn't diagnose e.g., cancer visually! Was she able to diagnose your twisty nipples? I'm not sure the yoghurt would help, I mean the helpful bacteria should be broken down by your stomach acids anyway - on the other hand, yoghurt is lovely so why the heck not?

I'm having horrors this end - Bear is lovely, but jailbait and I are (at present) barely speaking - although as I wrote that he's back from walking the dogs with Bear in the pouch ( I was sleeping) and we appear to be being civil to each other and he's just given me the last Belgian chocolate. Perhaps we're on the mend. He keeps asking questions which I answer in a non-commital or distracted manner, he then accuses me of being rude or snapping. Do I really have to deliver every response with a 1950s housewife style smile? It can't be helping that Bear is now sleeping more during the day than he is at night... I also took the executive decision of not keeping on top of all the washing - now he's wondering where his uniform is for the morning. Have decided NOT to be keeping this place 100% shipshape - like polly's husband who doesn't notice the dirt, I think a lot of these bloody men don't realise that cups don't wash themselves and uniforms don't wash themselves, toilet roll doesn't buy itself etc., etc. I am really capable of holding it all together on 3.5 hours sleep a day - but I'm getting somewhat peeved that I'm having to do. I think I'm also guilting myself in to doing it - e.g., I've been doing all the washing up because my pregnancy was so vile until the very end that I didn't touch the dishes for months on end and now I feel like I have to do some pay back. For the next baybee I will have "staff".

I'm also getting a bit of gyp from the c-section scar which is upsetting me - I feel I'm "wrong" to be complaining about it a month on so I've decided to take it easy for a few days - which then renews the cycle of guilt...

iggy I'm glad to hear all is going well your end and especially with the dog. We now have Bear in a bouncer which means he's only a foot off the floor - STILL he's not been snogged to death and he's basically ignored. When he cries they look to us rather than worrying about what he's doing.

My sister's border terrier was licking Rastus's feet yesterday. It did not go down well

Sorry to hear your domestic mither ski. If it's any consolation I think I'm on my 11th threat to leave and go to my mother's . The first time I got tears and 'don't take him away from me pleeease', subsequent threats appear to have lost their impact, so a change of tack may be required.

PS not a serious threat obv, I'm not that much of a harridan, but I was going to get away from him for a few days because the mere sight of him was making me irrationally cross.

haha @ "irrationally cross" - yes, I can totally understand why women pick up the baby and walk out. Just at the sheer.sight.of.them!

rots I didn't do gentian violet but would if I got it again. The full protocol is here. The all purpose nipple ointment sounds interesting. I wonder if a pharmacist would just make it for you if you gave them the recipe? (or would sell you the stuff so you could make it yourself?)

cos Really? Any time is good for me. Email me at see jay are pee sixty at gmail dot com (letters and digits). Let's see what we can arrange. Anyone else up for a North Yorkshire meet?

ski Is the secks not helping the domestic situation then? Supposedly a magic cure for grumpiness, innit?

We had a major parenting fail this morning. We took Bonnie and Clyde to the local riding club gymkhana, thinking she would have fab time watching all the ponies. Instead we ended up with two wailing children and people giving us stern looks ringside. Bonnie just wanted to run around but refused to stay close to us. At one point she ran under the rope and right into the ring where the ridden hunters were being judged! She wouldn't sit in the buggy, wouldn't be held, wouldn't sit on my knee, etc. In the end we just had to scoop up the screaming child and come home. And this was with two parents on duty. How on earth am I supposed to handle outings on my own?

fanny the art of being a parent is to know when to pack up, come home and feel good about:

• making the attempt to go out
• knowing that next time, or the time after will be better
• not trying to push through it and making the right decision to quit and come home.

According to my mum who is very wise, anyway. My friend's mum adds in, talking about supermarket trips, never shop with a baby or child who is hungry or tired. Excellent advice.

I will look into the gentian violet then, and ask the pharmacy about making up the cream and report back.

ski more advice from my mum: "keep talking". I know and you know how much you love JB and he loves you and Bear but with the stress of a new baby it's really tough. Crikey, even YOB and I are doing a whole load of re-negotiating and we have never had an argument in our entire time together. And we already had LC.

Now about this one month on thing. You have had MAJOR SURGERY following a V stressful few days/week when you were suddenly taken ill. Subsequently you had a baybee in special care. My HV when I had LC said I had to focus on me and the babe for 8 weeks, and nothing else. That was with a "normal" straightforward birth. After 4 weeks you should perhaps consider just getting out of bed, IMO. JB was there and knew what you went through. Talk through with him how you are feeling, without raising your voice, and try to negotiate different rules about washing etc. Do you think you are snapping? Is it worth trying to be more gentle with what you say?

Look after yourself and don't feel guilty about doing so. More easily said than done - I'm the world's worst over feeling guilty.

I'm feeling a bit guilty myself as LC has gone to ex's for a week (second time ever since I left 3 1/2 years ago) and I feel relieved to not have to entertain him. Feel bad about that, and I miss him, but it's nice to have some peace. Obviously if Comma wasn't here it would be a different matter, but I'm still so gosh darned tired all the time.

New overnight strategy: no nappy changes (as they wake him up completely and he's hard to get to go back to sleep) and feed until he drops off rather than trying to encourage him to take more at each waking. He did an extra feed but overall I got more sleep. Very of cunty

cas I dreamt of 3 x fishing rods and some trees. No PESH or FESH girls involved.

I would post properly but I can hear a child screaming downstairs while in her father's care. I'm wondering how long I can wait before staging an intervention. Or how long it will take for him to step away from the TV to shout "Casper, the baby is crying". (this happens, no joke).

Yes, ski, cunty, I hear you. Glad I am not alone. It has indeed crossed my mind that this baby might herald the end of our marriage. Sure it'll pass and all, but I can't help but feel disappointed in his general lack on interest in the "non-fun" aspects of child rearing. Onwards and upwards, eh?!

But I am counting my blessings in that he does wash and iron his own uniform. ski you doing that for Jailbait is well beyond the call of duty.

Take it easy.

That goes for all of you.

fanny The secks? I'm not going to do the secks with him when I'm so angry with him. Now I know you're not supposed to withold sex as a "punishment" but it's safer for him. If we were to have sex when I was annoyed I'd probably bludgeon him to death midway through using a book.

Wow! So we're all in the midst of marital strife - rots like you, we're not really the arguing types. Bugger. Have had chat and changed bedroom around last night to suit me. Have told him that I am retiring to bed with my son after paediatrician appointment this afternoon and I will not be getting up for 48 hours.

Have come to conclusion that everyone wants to help with baby but what I actually need is for someone to scrub the loo or nip to the shops. Next time I have a pal with a newborn rather than offering to change a nappy (yeh cheers for that) I shall say "write a big list for the supermarket and I'll be back in an hour". That's the stuff you really need doing!

curly He's told me not to worry about his uniform - but it's hard not to. Say he doesn't put it through the tumble dryer, then i) he has to wear wet clothes or ii) he is late to work, gets fired and we end up living in a tent on a roundabount on the A1 (have seen on telly). Too much worry.

fanny Did Bonnie cause disruption a la the dog who ran in to the middle of Le Tour?

Well Bear would now be a 10 day old baby had he come on his due date - all I can say in that respect is that his lungs have come on in leaps and bounds since he was born.

curly it is established that men very often see their parenting role as doing the instant-access fun stuff whilst the female has the pre-prep and the drudge. I cannot imagine in a lifetime Hom making sure we have packed lunch stuff in, for example, or that school uniforms are washed and ironed, or that we have everything we need before going out for the day. I maintain that after this intensive bit, the majority of mothering is done without a kid in sight, whilst the majority of fathering is done one-to-one with the kid...

What I mean is that they often have to be asked to do stuff, whereas we have to anticipate the need or shoulder the blame if it isn't

Fatty is just back from his health visitor appointment, 8lbs 3oz in old money - has put on 700g (!) in a fortnight! He's got oral thrush though. I kind of suspected as much yesterday. Seeing peadiatrician in 2 hours and he can prescribe something...

cunty I think you've hit the nail on the head there. Jailbait will send him off to school with a KitKat, a can of coke and a fiver to go to the chip shop. I'll be fretting about food groups and vitamins. Likewise, jailbait thinks it's OK to drop out of school at 14 if you "don't like it". Now I do get that not all kids are academic and that academia itself is sometimes (particularly in these times) not all it's cracked up to be - however I'd like Bear to flex his brain if he has one. Mother & uncle already talking about him going to King's.

Nail On Head cunty. I can see him being amazing when she's up and about and ready for play.

sorry to hear of more FESH thrush ski.

I have finally booked a CO appointment. Let's see if we can make her a little less restless.

shame it's unlikely to help the baby acne. And the fact that she refuses to let me wash her neck. Ever.

Buggeration ski. PRINT THIS OUT:

www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/pdfs/BfN_Thrush_leaflet_Feb_2009.pdf

Even if you're not BF or expressing still you may still want to consider a course of Fluconazole as it's likely to be in your system. If you are then def, def, get it. It seems to be working for me and apparently the problem is that if you don't shift it, it can luuuurk in the depths of your milk ducts until the next bairn comes along and BANG it strikes again. The Bastard.

cas I heard the a dab of BM can help with milk spots. Comma keeps getting a masseev one on his chin with a huuge white head, which, frankly, isn't pretty. He's got little ones over his right cheek. Dunno if it's troo about the BM but I'm trying it anyway.

This thrush business is seriously bad. To the point where I have just gone and bought a jar of acidophilis. no reason I can't take this pre bairn is there?

I have got it in the weirdest place (which I won't share with you as likely to put off your lunch) which seems to come and go. Probably in line with my sugar intake.

Good news on the weight gain ski I can't believe how much he is filling out in the pictures on t'other place.

I also worry about the roles of parent. Mr Moo very bad at shopping. I mean he can obviously get to the supermarket and understands the concept, but no idea how to put together meals or compile a list of things we need without forgetting most of it. I fear I will be in the same boat v soon. Oh well I'm giving him sole charge of the dog. And homework duty for the first 16 years.

Just been swimming. Feel very virtuous. No doubt will be crippled later.

curly Bear's got acne too - I asked about it today and it's all perfectly "normal" with preemies. A time thing, that's all. Doctor made me laugh today "that's not the scream of a premature baby anymore". V true!

Thanks for that rots, I have some stuff to give him now, he's got it around his gums worse than tongue. I am BF + expressing so will have to figure it all out. I'd had a tiny bit of pain the other day and wondered if this was why. Arse biscuits.

honey I get it in my belly button. Dee-lightful!

Jailbait and I are not fighting today and we had a chat last night which seems to have cleared the air a bit. I said that I was trying so hard not to be a burden on him - so I was running around doing "everything" and of course what is happening? I'm getting run down and will become a burden if I don't slow down. So today he's done the dogs, the supermarket and went to the chemist to get Bear's medicine. I can't trust him to do my dinner though. Al dente or draining pasta properly are not concepts he is familiar with! I can not haz sloppy mess on plate.

Bless him. Sounds like he is trying. Men need to be TOLD what to do. A bit like wayward canines.

honey I don't see why you can't take acidoph while diffed.

ski LC had the acne thing and wasn't prem - it maybe more common in prem babies but it's apparently quite normal anyway. Just one of those things. Doesn't seem to bother them at all although I'm quite concious of it!

YOB's just taken Comma for a drive. For some reason he's taken to screaming at this time of night and won't settle. He will feed for a few moments and then pull off and scream which gets really painful and sore for me. It's not lack of milk but I can't work out what it is. Sometimes a burp helps but not always. Driving in the car calms him and gives me a break for a bit! He has taken a dummy tonight for a while which was a first. I've tried nipple shields tonight but has anyone tried them? I bought them from mothercare. Now, my nips aren't small but these things are like a massive teat! Comma can't possibly latch over them! How does the milk come out? He just comes straight off again. I don't understand them.

rots that fiddly-faffing sounds v typical of our cluster-feeding time. Lots of head shaking and open mouths but no latching. Try 5 mins of pinkie sucking - that works for us...