June 08 - a Coalition for all (even those with May or July 08 babies).

[DomesticGoddessInTraining]

Abdn liked the title so I just went ahead!

Bit slow of me, so AH, why would I need a daughter called Mary?

Neenz itching where? On your bump on "down there". After a shorter pg last night time it must be tricky mentally setting yourself up for up to 42 weeks this time. I am visiting my friend this weekend who is due on 7th. I am wondering whether a house guest will hurry the baby along this week, and the trip will be cancelled. You are right, I am very lucky that DH earns enough for me not to have to work. We can afford the things we want without having to worry about it. In many ways we live quite modestly though: small terrace with a postage stamp sized garden, and not enough room really for 2 children. Then we get into a question of not moving till Dh has found a new job, but he's working so stupidly hard that he has no energy to look for a new job in his spare time. I'm fnding this hard to handle, but trying to find serenity about the whole thing.

Eddie - good luck with the cc.

Poppy how was TDF? Did you take E with you? We had it on the TV and wondered whether I was misleading P by saying that she was there.

P and I both caught up on sleep now, so the world is looking brighter this afternoon.

Clearly you are too young to be a mother Spider: Peter, Paul and Mary were a 70's folk group. In fact they may have sung Puff the Magic Dragon.....

Spider, glad you got some sleep. Hope your DH can find time for you and P (and finding that new job) soon! Do you find lack of space hard? We have 4 beds (tho not an expensive house when we bought - £170k) and I really appreciate just having places to put stuff.

The itching is mostly on my bump, arms, legs and back (but it is not unbearable and not all the time) and sometimes on the hands and feet - it's the itchy hands and feet that are the symptoms of cholestasis which I was induced for last time. But usually it is unbearable itching that you end up taking your skin off scratching. Mine is not like that at all. I don't think I will mention it tomorrow unless I have a lot of itching tonight - it does seem to be worse when I am just sat in front of the telly (thinking about whether I am itchy ).

Am sure you'd find more than a postage stamp sized garden in edinburgh Spider

Have just had a very quick skim read. Thanks for asking about the move to bed - last night wasn't tooooooo bad I suppose. Took well over an hour to settle, fell out of bed once and then he woke up about 2am and ended up in our bed. He goes through phases of night waking though, so I'm not too concerned by that at the moment. We'll try and focus on the settling to bed at bedtime and then worry about the rest. It was strange - I was having to think about how we used to settle him back when he was a baby. DH said he went for his nap today ok although he did have to sit with him for a while. I would have happily left him in a cot for longer if I thought we could get away with it, but I suspect he would have been climbing out before too long.

Spider how about Thomas for a boy's name to go with P? Although, I seem to recall that someone couldn't have Thomas and can't remember if that was you?

Good luck with the packing Sybil and good luck with the CC Eddie. I hope it's not as bad as you think it will be...

Am really hoping for a good night's sleep tonight (for all of us), DH is away to London at the crack of dawn and not back till really late. It could be a long day with a cranky toddler...

While I remember... Have any of you got much experience of toddlers who like hitting/kicking. S has picked this up lately - he seems to think it's really funny to kick/hit DH and I and I'd really like to try and nip it in the bud if I can before he starts on other people.

It started off as just a bit of boisterous play, but now he thinks it's hilarious to slap us in the face, kick us in the face during nappy changes and today he threw a fairly substantial and quite heavy wooden Percy at DH today. Not really sure what the best approach is. We have really shouted 'no' at him a few times when he's really hurt us which I'm not especially proud of!

Any tips would be grateful. I'm going to have a wee search in the behaviour/development threads later.

Lol at Peter, Paul and Mary - never heard of them and was about to tell spider it must be a biblical reference which us heathens wouldn't understand!

DG, we did have problems with aggresion a few months ago and sorted it by total ignoring - A was only 18 mths at the time though, do different tactics work at different ages?

A has a suspicious spotty rash - off to google chickenpox , spider will keep you posted.

Oooh Domestic if you find anything let me kow - Luke does that all the time but apparently it's age appropriate says the nursery.

spider Peter, Paul, and Mary thank goodness Valium! Did no one else have parents in university in the 1960s?

DGT I don't think shouting under the circumstances is that bad but I use the time out (in their room, door closed) method of reinforcing the idea that a behaviour is not tolerated. Or if that doesn't work, then I use the removal of toys...

It's me who can't have Thomas domestic!

I think Sybil can't have one either. I remember because I gloated about having one and she (quite rightly) told me off . It was during her heyday as Voice of Reason

Sybil will always be the voice of reason!

Thanks for hitting advice. If he was hitting etc in frustration it would be (slightly) easier just to ignore, but he will hit repeatedly because he sees it as playing. So he'll kick (in the face!) laugh, kick again etc etc. At the moment I'm just taking hold of his feet/arms whatever and firmly saying no.

Couldn't find any useful threads Amber, but I might start one. I found a few, but mostly about hitting in anger/frustration etc. I might start a thread later actually - obv it's all very normal but I'm hoping I might pick up some useful tips to manage it/avoid it getting worse. Abdn, how does time out work in your house? How have you introduced it to F?

Oh, you definitely couldn't have Thomas Biscuits!

Nope, AH, my parents didn't go to uni - I'm a working class girl made good !

Hi back now- had lovely time in paris and did see end of tdf so you were not fibbing spider. Hope you have a better night tonight as sound like you need it(and am sorry your dh still having such a hard time at work).

Dgit(and all those thinking about beds) e has been ok about bed but the bed was in her room and I did wait til I was sure the bedtime antics got better (the screaming/playing up at night phase we had a few months ago). I actually think it's made her sleep better as she was thrashing about in her cot( sounds very like the way you described Luke amber and well done on the driving).

Sorry if missed anyone out- still feeling bit wiped out after the op so off to bed early.

I wrote a big post earlier on and then lost it.

DGT P has been through a phase of pinching. I think the thing that cracked it was walking away. This is the advice in "Toddler Taming" as recommended by Neenz for any undesirable behaviour, basically don't reward undesirable behaviour with your attention especially a strong reaction like shouting or yelling. Ignore, or if its violence against you, take yourself away from the trouble. Having said that, P may have just grown out of it. I have tried removing P from the site of trouble i.e. I naughty step kind of idea, but I think he is too young and just finds the whole thing extremely funny.

Valium, nope that doesn't mean a thing to me. Clearly I am very, very youthful , don't feel it though. To me "Peter & Paul" is "Two Little Dickie Birds"

Neenz yes I do find the house a bit squashed. At the moment it works, but only just, everything is full, I have to think about where we will keep something before buying any big toys etc. The garden doesn't work with a two year old though. After November, though we really are going to be at bursting point. I just came down the stairs to find DH telling his parents that he thinks his workload is not too bad and about to improve. I fell about laughing. I have heard that one before.

DGT I do quite like Thomas, but have been put off by my school year in which 5 of 50 boys were called Thomas. They all ended up with inexplicable nicknames like Beaker and Chipper etc. It is still a very popular name, no. 3 in England and Wales in 2008 I think (stato alert), although not that many that I know round here. The vogue in Surrey seems to be for Finleys and Oscars.

Eddie how was the CC tonight? Let me know about the rash. TBH if P wakes up at 4.40 again tomorrow I may red card myself from visiting you tomorrow. I wouldn't trust myself to drive that far, and it would probably be better for me to get a nap in.

Neenz do you remember that Ernest had terrible itching just before she had her DD? It was all fine in the end although the it confounded the German Drs at the time.

Oh, I remember Ernest's itching.

Thanks for the reminder about toddler taming Spider - I do have it somewhere so will go consult it. i know what you mean about associating names with something else. I think the Finn's (and all the various forms of it) will be the Trevor/Dave/Tom (pick a popular name from a decade) of the future.

Good news on the sleep from tonight - DH told S who was half asleep in bed that he was just going to the bathroom and we didn't hear a peep from him after that! Is it bad to tell a fib and not come back Although, it wasn't me doing the fibbing.

Amber when I was first driving after I passed my test (when pg with S) I was MUCH better if I was on my own. I found having someone else with me quite nerve wracking and it really put me off. Well done for attempting reverse parking - I still refuse to go anywhere unless it has a car park or oodles of on street parking.

Abdn - Completely understand where you're coming from re: holidays. It's nowhere near the same, but when I lived in London I felt I used all my holidays visit family back up north. I hardly ever went on a proper holiday before DH and I got together. So many missed opportunities!

Thanks to the central belt contingency for Festival suggestions on FB. Have a friend coming to stay for the w/e in August so have been busy booking tickets for shows.

DGT I carry Fraser to his room, plomp him down on the carpet, and leave, shutting the door behind him. He normally sulks for a bit then starts playing but at least he knows we're upset with him. We started introducing the idea by sitting him down in a corner of the room but I can see that not working for some kids who are less dramatic than Fraser and might just get up and walk around...

thanks for all the support about holidays! I do realize I'm a bit of a whiner about it and in real life I've three friends who's DH's are out of work so I'm definitely not complaining!

DGT and we do that with Fraser and we do go back - eventually - and give him a kiss. If we wait ten minutes or so when he's asleep he doesn't wake up. Send your DH in now...

spider two little dickie birds is another good paul reason... actually neither or them are make or break for the name Paul and it's a lovely name...

oh and neenz there was no chance of getting two travel cots in the 3bdrm caravan we rented (although DS1 was in one room). We actually pulled the beds up and put the mattresses on the floor as the beds are very narrow and the boys both roll around...

I think for the sake of clarity it would be good to avoid a house with 2 Mr P xxx's. A letter came addressed to Mr P xxx this week and DH said "but no-one of that name lives here".

"Don't rob Peter to pay Paul" - working class here too! Altho I do know who Peter, Paul and Mary are. I used to get them confused with the three singing people that used to be on Rainbow.

Not a chance of catching up properly, but I have been lurking!

Poppy - Glad everything went as well as possible, Take That excepted.

Amber - Well done on the driving. I really must get round to that....

Neenz - I remember end of pregnancy hell very well. You have my sympathies.

Dewin - Any news on the job?

Scan, blood tests, HB, etc all good here. Current scare is that I have been very heavily exposed to chicken pox, which is not good news at this stage in the pregnancy as I haven't had it before. Well I may have done, but that's the problem with having a Mum with alzheimers, I can't ring her up to check.

NZ dr 100% useless. Standard (global) course of action:

• Have a blood test to see if you're immune
• If you're not, have a booster vaccine thingy within 10 days of exposure.

I had to literally force the dr to agree to the blood test (last Fri). I phone up for results today and was told they won't be in until 17 Aug!!!! That's how long these tests take in NZ apparently. (In the UK you can have results in under an hour). My MW has confirmed I need the booster now then, just in case. But GP is demanding we have a consultation about it 2m rather than just ordering it in. A consultation that will cost me minimum of £30 for no good reason, I add. I also expecting that I will prob have to pay for the vaccine (another £50 at least). I MISS THE NHS - and I never thought I'd be saying that.

Can you tell I needed to rant? Sorry about that. Very self centred post. Having a bit of a hard time with 'silly' things about NZ right now (eg: no decent 'foreign' food - chinese, italian, indian, thai, even ciabatta and croissants!).

OK, think I might go away now and come back when this black cloud has lifted a bit.

penguin, sorry to hear about the CP . How pg are you? I'm pretty sure the boys have it and had two pg friends round yesterday, but they are both 26 and 33 wks respectively so guessing ok?

Hope you get your booster x

Lol at confusing Peter, Paul and Mary with Rod, Jane and Freddy!

I love the name Paul - it's my brother's name and M's middle name. We have two Ms here spider- will be confusing when post arrives!

4.40am wake up is grim beyond belief - hope it was better this morning.

CC was cancelled last night as A had an awful night - off to the docs in 10 mins but pretty convinced he has cp and sure I can see some spots on M too . How long is the quarantine?

DG, glad you had a better night and good that E is sleeping better in her bed too.

Eddie Let the recptionist know you suspect cp so they can put you in your own room.

Penguin - what nonsense about the blood test and the whole rigmarole. I don't know anything about CP and pregnancy. I have had it, I remember. Luke hasn't yet though but it sounds like there's a lot going about at this time of year - not sure how that applies so far away in NZ though!!

God I am the worst mum in the world as I have smacked luke's bottom a couple of times when he's really gone over the top (like running away at top speed even though I was shouting stop at him down the middle of the road with cars coming!!!!). Now it's a threat that whatever nonsense and naughtiness he's doing will stop him in his tracks. I also find that the threat of Daddy will also do the trick. For attention seeking naughtiness, like the hitting in fun, ignoring is definitely the way forward.

Luke woke up at 4.30 this morning. He was screaming - he must have had a nightmare but then I couldn't settle him again. damn these light mornings. I still drove Mark to the station and Luke to the nursery which I was proud of.

Eddie - hope it is/is not CP whichever you would prefer (I know some people want their DC to have it early!

Eddie - Just in case you're still there - ring your doc before going in. Lots won't let you in the door with suspected CP, it's that contagious! Poor A & M.

Altho if I was immune I'd actually want R to catch it to get it over and done with! [bad mummy emoticon]

I'm 13-5, getting it up to 12 weeks = 1% chance of complications, 13-20 weeks = 2% chance. Anytime just before delivery can be a problem too. Something like 95% of people are immune, even if they've never had it, they can get immunity by being around siblings who did. So both your friends should be fine, but worth letting them know IMO - then they can get the one hour test!

The extra early mornings sound awful - you poor people.

Thank you Eddie! The names of Rod, Jane and Freddy were driving me mad, was trying not to be sad enough to google it...

Quarantine is until the last spots have crusted over apparently, although the phrase 'last spots' suggests there's more than one wave, no?

Amber - I found myself really shouting at R today a number of times and leaving him in his cot longer than the actual 'time out' cos he was winding me up so much. (It's so hard to be calm, controlled Mummy when you've just been headbutted in the nose, even if it was an accident).

I would love to hear some discipline tips, will try the ignoring one. TBH I think I'm just hormonal and ratty, rather than R being particularly naughty. I swing from loving NZ, DH and R so much I'm floating on air to snappy and shouting and being a complete nightmare. I seem to recall being like this last time too.

Would I be mad to apply for a pi55 easy admin job down the road? It's only 3 days a week and is temporary until Jan 2011 (when I'm due...)? Not great money, but enough to cover rent and elec here. More of a sanity for Mummy and time away from the mad hormonal lady for R!

Yes Penguin - why not apply - sounds perfect! You are only one day more preggo than me!