June 08 - a Coalition for all (even those with May or July 08 babies).

[DomesticGoddessInTraining]

Abdn liked the title so I just went ahead!

(off to search for that thread...)

I can't find that thread!

Thanks for the re-assurance about potty training. I did ask them about it when I visited and although their website says they prefer potty training to have started they sound quite relaxed about it in reality.

Bugger - LoL about you not being "posh". Yes, you have a completely Scottish sounding name. Is that your maiden name? It reminds me of a time at uni when one girl from Liverpool was moaning that she was the only Notherner on her course, my friend pointed out that actually she was from York. The first girl replied "That's not the proper north, because it's posh".

Poppy, I thought your post was quite measured. My hospital experience wasn't brilliant but the poster is obviously very upset which could be clouding her understanding of what was reasonable. It's easy to envisage another side to much of what she says. Crying, sleepless newborns are part and parcel of the experience, and while I can understand that she was frantic after dropping her baby, the baby was seen by a mw and a doctor. Hospital food is notoriously horrible, but by her own admission she didn't have much of an appetite. Agree that she was lucky to see a bf counsellor - I wish I had that opportunity. I found the 'I'm privileged and can speak up for others' a bit patronising . But of course I wont say all this on that thread I'd get flamed

Tons of chatting again! Mum and dad due any minute so might not be around for the next few days but thank you so much for all the support, esp all those of you with 'whingy' babies . I felt sooo bad for posting that about M, but knowing I'm not alone has helped make it feel better already if that makes sense?

I think I will try and leave him a little more - and I agree that learning to be bored/entertain yourself is a good life skill (not one that I've ever mastered yet though so when I moan at dh about how demanding of my attention M is he does tend to raise an eyebrow in a moment of "hmm, know how that feels"!! ).

poppy, the HV was lovely, and thank you for your text - v sweet of you considering how much you've got going on at the mo.

going how exciting - a Vegas wedding! Like poppy, we also eloped to get married, and we also have no regrets! Enjoy .

spider, there could be some truth in that actually - it's been a mental few months and now it's all come to a crashing halt and I'm so tired and probably getting everything out of perspective.

Re potty training, my friend (of the whingy baby!) was also talking about her potty training her DS. She did it two weeks before his third birthday and he was dry night and day within four weeks with about two accidents all told! Had me convinced to wait .

Right, parents here, must go x

Glad hv was good and enjoy the
Help
eddie.

Dgt you never could come across
Like that-I liked the ref to I am in a union so could never go private... Have now picked
Another quarrel on aibu abortion thread but op made me see red..

None of this is helping my relaxation plan as I just can't seem to sleep easily although am
Quite tired and weak (went for a walk to shops as thought fresh air might help
And was walking at snails pace). Am
Avoiding caffeine etc and trying to keep
Calm but can't seem to unwind enough to sleep easily. Expect it's reaction to bein worried
About the op.

And In doing so may have found the stupidest person on mumsnet ...

Abdn, that's v nice of you to say. However, the stepkids are fine, lovely in fact, it's their parents that aren't!

Spider, we're not married, so yes, that's my maiden name (I refer to the stepkids as that because it's too complicated otherwise!). Indeed, York is not proper north, in the same way that Edinburgh is not proper Scottish re DGT's comments earlier - far too many English people!

Poppy, I didn't think you'd had a rant on that thread at all, I can see that the op had a bit of a rough time, but obviously had quite high expectations/no experience of NHS. I'm sure there are plenty of us who can bang on about our own pn care, I remember there were some people on this thread who had rough times, and yes, I did find her a bit patronising too.

Oooh, really the stupidest person on mn? That's quite some accolade!

It's on aibu thread on abortion / poster started it and didn't realise she would offend...And sympathies re step kids - mine are older but have had some difficult times.

Ah am glued to tdf - contador not losing this...

Poppy I'm glad the op is over and you're safely through it.

Deb how is your car? That whole combo sounds hell.

All those missing old lives and/or begrudging their DH/DPs their freedom - I'm so glad that I'm not the only one! What's scary 10 years down the line is that even if I had the chance to have my old life back, I'm now so brain dead, frumpy and unfit that I'd have trouble doing anything.

I have booked a church hall for DD1's birthday party, and I invited the whole school year (56 children) on the assumption that lots will be on holiday so we might get, say, 30. But because the invitations only went out yesterday, and we've now broken up, I reckon I won't hear back from lots of people so will have to over-cater. We went to the nearest grotty shopping centre to buy party bag things from the £1 shop (and we had sausage rolls!!) but I'm beginning to realise how mad I was to risk such huge numbers. I'll be doing the food myself and would like to avoid doing sandwiches if possible. Do you think this food sounds OK:

cartons of juice
sausage rolls
cocktail sausages
hula hoops
carrot sticks

grapes
biscuits: iced rings and jammy dodgers
orange jelly segments
(fairy cakes if I get round to making them)
birthday cake

The party is 10-12. That menu looks a bit crap (and totally white trash!!) doesn't it? Actually, if I do lots of fairy cakes and decorate them nicely, that will perk things up, perhaps?

And we'll have a small bouncy castle and play pass the parcel, musical bumps, musical statues, sleeping lions, port/starboard, jumping on balloons. Does all that sound ok?

Rolf - breeeeeeathe.

That all sounds fine. I would purposefully go white trash for a kids party and pass it off as coolly retro. Where's the wotsits and monster munch?? What about cheese and tomato pizzas, good alternative to sandwiches I think, and maybe some french sticks. However, with the timing of your party, I don't think people will expecting much - it finishes before lunch.

It all sounds absolutely ok!!

Party sounds great- frankly if people expecting organic lettuce and felafel they are nuts (its meant to be fun and what the kids like).

So many posts!

That 2008 baby names list on ONS is intriguing isn't it Biscuits! Three babies named Torres . I really like Stella, don't like Verity sorry Dewin! Emma Bunton called her baby Beau in 2007, hence so many in 2008

DG, Yes just be careful which knife you use to cut toast when around a pregnant woman

Poppy, glad all went well yesterday. Thinking of you. Enjoy your trip to Paris, how exciting about tdf!

Deb, sympathies on the stress! Sounds like a nightmare.

Eddie, sounds like M is suffering from exhaustion too. IIRC he is not such a good daytime napper? I bet you are no GF fan but it might be worth a try? I only suggest it cos my sister's DS (6m) was like that and my mum kept telling her to put him down in his cot in a dark room every couple of hours so he didn't get overtired. Once she did he became much more settled and slept better at night too. I bought GF's book on ebay for about £2 so you wouldn't even need to line her pockets . Glad you are feeling better about it all anyway.

lol at Going telling your DH he has 34hrs to rest on way home! Enjoy your me time. you deserve it.

Bugger, love 'Geordies are scots with the brains kicked in'! Sorry you are stuggling with DP. Having exes in the picture is always stressful, can see why you are bitter about having DSSs while she has a rest.

Spider, great news about the pre-school.

Good luck with the party Rolf! Sounds great, the kids will love it.

E sobbed again at bedtime last night - and both DTs cried when they went in the bath (usually love the bath). I think it is linked to washing E's hair - we never bothered doing it much cos she hates it so we just wash it when it looks dirty/greasy, but she has some cradle cap type stuff on her head so we have been trying to wash it more. She screams hysterically and T cries too. She is fine as soon as she gets out of the bath but then gets a bit hysterical when we say 'ok, time for bed'. She only cried for a minute or so last night though. Weird one. Don't want her to have phobia of the bath but she has to have her hair washed. Shall we just persevere?

Neenz T had a spell of hating her bath. It started when she was ill with gastroenteritis, and lasted for 1 or 2 months. I pretty much ignored her hair for most of that time as she was so hysterical, and just gave her the briefest dunk in the bath when she was particularly grubby. Someone on here posted a link to a great bath toy (DGT perhaps?) which is didn't get round to buying but that might have helped.

Rolf The party food sounds fab, it what the kids will eat.
At the last big kids party I held I set up a fairy cake decorating table. Just plain cakes, glace icing, little tubes of couloured icing and sprinkles -all very reasonable in Asda. Worked really well and kept them happy for ages!

Neenz DS decided he hates having a bath! He prefers to be washed in the kitchen sink, standing up. CAn't be bothered with the battle most of the time so just do it there. DId bath him with me this am and he stayed in long enough to have a hairwash.

neenz wash her hair in the shower! But do wash it. We didn't wash DS1s for a bit for the same reason and he had a huge chunk (bigger than a pound coin) of hair actually fall out due to cradle cap (it's grown back now). I felt like the worst mum in the world and fraser was a newborn...

will post more later - need to pop a few plants in the garden before bed time...

Rolf, party food sounds good to me. It is was they like to eat after all. Mini pizzas are a good idea too if you've got time to make them. I thought the fairy cake making table was a fab idea.

It was me who suggested the bath toy idea way back - it worked for S when he was going through a stage of hating his bath around Christmas. It was a tomy washing machine type toy but I think anything interactive/has a bit of automation would do the trick. I'd also definitely persevere with the hair washing. Could you turn it into a game and get them to pour water over each other with some stacking cups or something? More recently when S went through another bout of not liking the bath, we told him it was the only place that daddy couldn't eat his leg (DH plays a game with him where he pretends to be the tickle monster and eat his leg while tickling him loads) so now he runs off squealing with delight to the bath and safety from the tickle monster.

Bugger, sorry to hear that things aren't brilliant still with your DP. Can you arrange a weekend away for yourself and leave him to it with B? I would def move B into the bigger room too tbh.

S is now refusing to go into his cotbed at all, so def the right decision to convert the cotbed into a bed this weekend I think. We'd wanted to do all the decorating and new bed etc on the same day, but I think it'll just be too much so we're going to sort the bed out this weekend and paint next weekend. Also, have realised that the border was pasted on so will need to dig out the steamer/scraper to get it off. Urrrgghhh. I really want to leave it as it is now!!! We're mad to be redecorating - it's the bloody nicest room in the house. It'll be nice for it to be a bit more of a fun room for him though.

Gosh, too much to answer everything, so here are some salient things I can remember.

rolf food sounds fine to me, cake decorating tanle sounds like absolute genius.
party games wise, my Mum always swore by the tickling stick game, which invoved an adult with a feather duster on a polel with a blindfold on, it sounds dodgy when you write it down like that though! The other one is a genius game - you give every child a cheap choc ice and there are prizes for making it last the longest and eating in the most lady like/gentlemanly way.

Bugger would definitely give B the bigger room if the SC fit in the other one - like you said, it's his home all the time. Also sorry to hear things aren't great with DP, let me know if you fancy a meet up and a coffee/moan at a soft play place or something.

going wow a wedding on the thread - how exciting.

can't remember what else I was going to post.

C is still spiking temps from nowhere, although now only 38/39 rather than over 40. And I have established that she has an allergy to topical raw egg. think we'll go back to making scones instead of fairy cakes as the swollen eyes and red blotchy face was rather disturbing.

going the cake table idea is brilliant! We're going out tomorrow to get some more crap for the party bags, and we'll see if we can get some cake decorating stuff whilst we're out. It's actually a lovely way to begin the holidays as all the children are excited. The choc ice game sounds fun, too. The feather duster game would scare me as I don't think I'd like to be in the same room as DD1 whilst wearing a blindfold . Her new game is to call me by my first name (fine but not my thing, and she knows it). She's got T doing it too. And whilst we were out today, she insisted on putting on a really heavy scouse accent and speaking v loudly.

v exciting about your wedding plans! Coincidently, I was talking to a friend yesterday about how she and her DP didn't invite anyone to their wedding, but for some reason lied to her MiL afterwards and said it was abroad, and have got themselves caught up in knots ever since!

Biscuits poor C, and must be worrying for you. Don't you have a friend who is a paediatrician who does under the counter checks for you? I imagine doctor hat and mummy hat must be quite hard to wear at the same time . T had horrible temperature spikes when she was ill a few weeks ago, and every time by the time I'd decided to give her Calpol and gone up to get it, the temp had gone down.

Whinegums there is no way in a million years I would have the emotional maturity or generosity to be a step-parent. I really feel for you.

Poppy how are you feeling now? I hope you've got some rest this evening.

Paediatrician friend has inconveniently relocated to Inverness for a year she'll be back in a couple of weeks though! C's godfather is a GP though so I ran it by him and we're just keeping a close eye on her. She's not complaining of any pains and seems well otherwise (apart from the egg thing this afternoon ) Doctor hat and Mummy hat are confusing as I know she's probably fine and it's just a virus but equally she's SO hot.

The choc ice game is a really good way to calm them all down at the end of a party so they are all sitting nicely when parents arrive!

Ooh, meant to mention the wedding plans earlier! How exciting! I got married abroad and can thoroughly recommend it.

Sorry to read about C Biscuits. Hope she's better soon.

Look out for edible glitter Rolf! And all the supermarkets do tubes of writing icing.

Thanks for info on hair washing - I didn't realise it was so bad not to wash it. We rarely do Theo's either. In fact I thought it was better not to wash too often, natural oils and all that. Maybe once a month is too little though . One day just blends into another and it doesn't get done! She was ok with a shower on holiday but when I use the shower attachment in the bath she goes hysterical. Will try new toys or games etc and see how we go. I'm sure they'll get over it - just a quick dunk and hair wash until they get used to it.

I am on call for the homebirth team from 9am tomorrow morning

Neenz when's your due date? Seems to have gone really quickly!

I'm due aug 13 - homebirth team will come any time after 37wks which is tomorrow. Should have said they were on call for me rather than me on call for them but you know what I mean!

That's exciting Neenz. What are you planning to do with the DTs when you are in labour? GPs?

I think Eddie mentioned (maybe in person to me rather than on the thread) that A had gone off the bath and so they got him bath crayons which he loved. The problem now is that they can't get him out of the bath.

P has cradle cap in his scalp too, but you can only see it if you really separate his hair as it is q thick. What is the recommended treatment at this age? I am generally just ignoring it. The GP has told me only to wash his hair once a fortnight because of eczema, but I probably do it more like twice a week. What about brushing?

Rolf a lazier version of cake decorating might be to do gingerbread men decorating. My cousin did this on Sunday for her DD. If you don't have time to make fairy cakes you could just a few boxes of gingerbread men from the supermarket plus Dr Oetker icing in tubes, jelly tots for buttons and eyes, and hundreds and thousands.