March 2010- Group Therapy on the cheap

[ValiumtheConqueror]

And cupcakes

Scooby - sending love your way. I was of the understanding that babies couldn't get hayfever as they needed to have a full season of pollen exposure before the allergy could form. I may be wrong, DH noticed DD was quite 'snotty' last night

Pacific - hope that the Losec helps.

hecklephone hope you're feeling less frustrated now DH is back.

IWCAS Poor you Jaffa cakes are the only breakfast suitable under the circumstances.

DD is not coping with the heat, had the window open and the fan on all night. She won't go under a blanket so I worry she's too cold as she's only sleeping in a vest. Better too cold than too hot though I suppose. Seems cooler today...

I've written to the hospital to ask for a copy of my birth notes; every time I see a birth on TV I get really panicky and I know it's because I've been burying the anger I still feel about DD's birth. I'm so angry with myself for allowing myself to be induced when it wasn't what I wanted, I was so sure of what I wanted before I went in and then when it came to it, I meekly went along with whatever they wanted to do, rather than doing what my heart and my head said.

I'm not sure what reading my notes will achieve, but at least I'll have an idea of what went on at the end because at the moment it's not very clear to me

Anyway, on to happier things, DD is a very chatty girl at the moment, she's so funny in the mornings - we end up co-sleeping from about 4am, but she'll wake up at about 7 and then wait until both DH and I are awake before she talks, she seems to know to be quiet if one of us is still asleep Sadly that's usually DH and not me

Hi Fliss. Did you write them directly or did you ask your MW? I also would like to see my notes to check whether they know why I had a premature birth.

We're getting our first family 'proper' photo done on Saturday. We received a voucher for a 'free' photo session, and we 'only' have to pay for the photos (sorry for exorbitant of apostrophes). I've heard that the photos can be very expensive, so I'm prepared to walk away if they are. I've just bought Ben's outfit, and I'm paranoid that he'll throw up over it just as the first photo is taken

Nappies - I used Asda's Little Ones with no problems.

I felt bad last night. Ben has decided for the past 5 nights that he does not like being bathed. So poor daddy gets an earful of crying every evening. We're hoping Ben will suddenly remember that he used to like being bathed. My partner then gave him my expressed milk, and tried to put Ben to bed. He cried and wouldn't go to sleep. I went in, picked Ben up, he stopped crying instantly and I put in back in the cot. I feel bad because he wouldn't settle for my partner.

Evitas I've written to the medical records department at the local hospital - they'll send me the official forms and then I send them back with however much they want for photocopying.

Shroomer it's not with Venture is it? I've heard some right horror stories about them on here - although if you're prepared to walk away then you'll be fine, and I'm sure you'll have a lovely time and Ben WILL NOT be sick on his outfit

DD does that with me and DH too, I feel awful for stepping in and 'interfering' but it works. I tell him it doesn't mean she doesn't like him, and there'll be plenty of times in the future where Daddy, and only Daddy will do.

hieveryone, we have just returned for the docs, Elliott has had his last lot of jabs for a while, poor lad really did cry! DD looked horrified at the nurse too!!

sorry for those of you who are still not getting much sleep, its a killer isn't it?

I'm so innocent - my partner has just told me to rearrange Flisspaps name. I said flip papps? Flip saps? pap flips? Then he told me the hidden words. Naughty!

I had a blocked nipple last night, and when unblocked, I could have been plumbed in to supply half the babies of Northumberland. Good job LO wasn't trying to suck at the same time. He would have been blasted across the room leaving a baby-shaped hole in the wall.

Shroomer I was laughing out loud at your trying to rearrange Flisspaps' name

Pacific sorry that the paed's appointment was a bit of a let down - do feel free to rant and moan update us when you get the chance. As others have said, you're doing a great job.

Sorry to hear of all the unsleeping babies - we're also having ishoos with that in our house. I'm putting it down to the heat (though ask me when this heat wave ends and I'm sure I'll have another excuse ).

Had a lovely picnic in Highgate Woods today - it was a breast feeding awareness week picnic organised by a local sure start centre. They'd made loads of nice cakes and stuff (when oh when will I start eating healthily ).

I'm still suffering quite a bit with achey joints - I think it's the relaxin still in my system (not sure if this is normal - never seem to have time to google!).

I've got to recommend the book I'm reading at the moment - Dream Babies a history of childcare advice. A very very good reminder that parents have had centuries worth of often conflicting advice so just do what works for you (seriously, nothing we do is as nuts as the advice by the likes of John Watson or Truby King in the 20s who had quite astoundingly mad advice, like baby should spend 12 hours outdoors by 3 months...)

Right, off to eat dinner!

Flisspaps just wanted to say I think it's a good idea to get your notes. I was also induced and it all went a bit mental (hyperstimulation and crash section) and I examined my notes forensically before I had to hand them back and then spoke to an obstetrician about the birth at my 6 week check - it definitely helped.

Evitas sounds like you'd benefit from seeing your notes too. Though I'm not sure if they would have a reason for your son's prematurity...so you could try finding someone to ask (head of midwifery? a doctor?).

Now off to have a bath (first since I was pregnant...an attempt to ease the aching joints I seem to have all the time. Bloody relaxin!).

Gosh, flip I do hope that in the absence of a bath since pregnancy that you have been showering... [stinky emotion]

Still lurkin'. Still ridiculously sleep deprived . Still wishing us all much improved/continuing improvement in our current woes/situations.

at Manda - imagine if I hadn't bathed! How would you all know I wasn't sitting at home whiffing like mad . Sorry that the 2 hourly feeds have returned. I have that myself most nights, starting from half eleven/midnight. So I've decided to try and stop clock watching (heard a sleep expert on R4 the other morning who said checking the time was one of the worst things you could do). So last night I waited for aaaaaaages and was then crushed that it was 4.13am and I had been awake since 1.48am...it's been a long day!

And of course the bath was wonderful and my legs and back don't ache anymore...even had DS in with me for a while. Very relaxing.

Oh and I know I wouldn't want to read my notes as I fertively looked through them caught a glimpse of them when they were left in the end of the baby's cot after he'd been taken for his antibiotic push... each entry stated with 'Amanda coping well' and I bloody well was NOT coping well. I'd asked for pain relief, was screaming (when I'd been all but silent with my first two) and felt awfully out of control and overwhelmed. In my humble opinion, I was the opposite of coping and therefore as each entry started with what I would consider a 'lie' I don't know how much else of what was written that I'd believe. But then I know that my delivering midwife was a student and I was her 38th (so two away from qualifying). Maybe her inexperience coloured her recording? Dunno. I know it made me cross to read it though.

oh thank god for you guys.. we are also on a ridiculous 2 hour feeding pattern here and Im shattered. All other RL mummies tell me about how their babies are sleeping through and I could kick them scream. Why can she sleep from 7 - 11 but then need feeding at 1, 3,5 and 7? Particularly since I know she can do 11 - 3 - 7. Im so tired that I put my purse in the fridge and couldnt find it anywhere - because it was in the fridge..
And I think part of the reason I forgot fathers day was tiredness.

Im so sick of the fecking world cup too. As soon as he's home, DH turns it on - who ever it is. As I just shouted calmly explained it is my evening too and Id like to watch some tv (I have it off all day because DD zones in on whatever it is and doesnt play or squeak - its eerie). And then he said it was once every four years.. yes but for a month! I dont mind the england games but denmark v japan?????

waves to everyone and drops into a very light sleep as finds it impossible now to sleep deeply..

Also sick of the endless football filled evenings.

Just about coping with the 2 hourly night feeds at 1, 3 and 5 (sure there would be a 7 but ds tends to wake everyone up at 6) thanks to still co-sleeping - as long as she just feeds and sleeps and doesn't imagine it's playtime.

On the plus side, ds's nappy rash continues to improve and, yesterday, prune juice + lactulose = a full nappy. (Sure you all wanted to know that.)

Pacific, if you read this, hang in there; it will get better and just maybe the new medicine will help. It's the next step up in the anti-reflux drugs, isn't it? Anyway, thinking of you.

Wishing you all a temperate and sleep-filled night.

grrr Im too hot...

IWCAS i thought of perhaps a temporary solution to the leaks - how about using a washables wrap on top at night? ie plastic pants - it would keep the leak 'in'

pacific hope your parents are helping and Joe responds well to the new drug x

Morning ladies with babies

Shroomer on both counts there!

Flip - thanks - I'm hoping it helps, it can't make me feel any worse anyway. Hopefully the MWs have readable writing! The picnic sounds lovely Hope your bath helps.

Manda at the two hour feeds and at your notes.

Siamese at your two hour feeds as well. And the first place I look for anything is the fridge (I found my purse in there once after a heavy night out many moons ago)

Sariska Glad the nappy rash is improving. Not so glad for you having to clean up baby poo though, there are nicer ways to spend your time

DD fast asleep atm for her morning nap, managed to sleep 11-4 and then 4-6.30ish this morning so feel fairly normal. DH is also suffering from World Cup obsession but at least DD seems to love watching the matches with him, and in fact she'll watch them in the afternoon as well - but she doesn't care for much else that's on the box.

(I got the anagram of fliss the moment I glanced at it... does this mean I'm good at anagrams or have a naughty streak? A little of both? I thought so... No sure who you are though )

Well, today was day six of No Poo from James. I was becoming a little concerned ven though he didn't seem uncomfortable especially as I had upped his solids from a little at breakfast, to more at breakfast, to then the addition of a little at tea time, to then more at tea time also. All this food going in and nada coming out...

Then It arrived. Was a squidgey consistancy (so not constipated then...) and STANK! His first 'proper' poo as opposed to the eight or so he'd have a day when ebf - but none would smell. Hmm, what do I prefer, one stinky poop once a week or loads and loads that do not smell?

Does anyone else call their baby by a name other than their given name? James has many nick names, some which are used more than others, and literally nobody calls him James - and when somebody does it sounds most odd! I thnk here s the only time I use it myself

Manda names... Poor DS has two fisrt names: one portuguese and one english (João Vincent). The idea is that everyone who speaks Portuguese should call him João, and the British should call him Vincent. However it seems that everyone back home prefers to call him Vincent or another nick name. I usually call him "Bebecas" which is a nice nick name for baby.So I totally understand you, no one calls him by his first name

Flip I think I'll ask my MW to go through the medical notes with me

Sariska glad nappy rash and constipation is better

xx

Evitas I call DD everything BUT her name normally, she's got a whole variety of nicknames...today's favourite seems to be cheeky bugger.

Manda Oh I'd go for the multiple non-stinky nappies every time. DD's FF poo is bad enough, I'm dreading it being more like proper poo when she starts solids

DD's actually been really good company today (as much as a 15w/o can be good company) - only had one cry when she was knackered this morning, very chatty and smily the rest of the day...I am very suspicious. I think we're going to pay at bedtime. She's not bothered with her 4pm bottle yet, so shortly she's going to realise she's very tired, very hungry and needs to go to sleep RIGHT NOW

fliss sounds like it's gonna be fun... Of course, by voicing your worry you have invoked the law of Children (and animals) Will Make You Look A Liar/Fool. Which means she'll continue to be a gem, wrong footing you and leaving you anxious about whether it's the calm before the storm

James tends to be called Harmey most of the time. There is an etymolgy to the name, naturally:

DP and I discovered we were both fans of Goodness Gracious Me early on in our relationship, in particular their famous Going for an English sketch. As DP's brother is also called James, we jokingly always refer to him as 'Jar-mez' amongst ourselves as per the sketch.

Cut to baby James, two days old and an asian midwife approaches to take him away for his antibiotics.

Midwife: Does he have a name yet?
DP: Yes, it's James.

(I SWEAR this is the absolute truth...)

Midwife: Hello Jar-mez!

DP and I exchange 'Omg!' looks and stifle laughter. From that point on we called him Jar-mez, as did eveyone else...

Then we were eating in a tapas restaurant when he was a few weeks old and I commented that as our 'Jay' sound is 'Huh' in spanish we would have to call him Har-mez (said with a spanish accent, naturally). THis morphed to Harmey and has stuck there since (well, sometimes he's Harmey Hernandez - because, well, alliteration and spanish sounding I suppose

Manda 6.25pm - DD suddenly started crying inconsolably, complete with broken-hearted downturned lip, and only stopped when we took her up for her bedtime bath.

Bugger. She's woken up again...told you so!

Aw, I'm sorry Fliss. Maybe I jinxed it by quoting said Law. Or, perhaps, as her Mother, Mother knew best Really hope she settles.

That down-turned lip thing is a killer, isn't it? I can't help laughing for a second when James pulls that one out of the bag but then dissolve into coos of 'Awww, don't do Sad Face baby!' (I call him 'Baby' a lot too This poor kid will never learn his name...) as I pick him up to snuggle him.

Even more amusing is the laugh/bottom lip combo where he really doesn't know whether to laugh or cry.

For Flip and any others who maybe interested in 20% off Bumgenius v3 nappies - I didn't wanted to get lynched by the nappy squad for advertising my site on the nappy section but here is a link

Not much happening here. DD1 sings songs to DD2 it is very, very cute.

No intention of weaning anytime soon, well not for another month at least. Will be doing BLW again as it was such a success with DD1 and I can't be arsed with see the point of pureeing stuff. I will try and button it but need to warn you that I did get very evangelical about BLW first time round. I even did a talk for a team of HVs and then another one at a baby and toddler group as not many people here had heard about it 2 years ago.

Baby G has a few nick names I call her Georgie most of the time or Georgie Pie (as in Georgie Porgie pudding and pie, kissed the boys/girls and made them cry). I called her Munchkin a lot before she had a name. Her big sister has a multitude of names though including Lulu (which is nothing like her real name but has evolved) and my favourite is Squirrel as she has lovely red hair.
fliss I got your name straight away!
oh and even though I had a planned section I would still like to read my notes. It all went a bit tits up at one point and people were shouting as my BP had dropped so low - I would like to read what they wrote. I did have a debrief with the consultant about DD1s birth but it was quite unsatisfactory as there wasn't much in there to say why I had EMCS but still I would probably enjoying pouring over all the details of both deliveries so might request my notes. I would like some closure and evitas you want to know why your baby arrived so early and I want to know why my one was so big ! but I don't think anyone will be able to tell us!
pacific sorry to hear the paed appointment didn't reveal all the answers or offer any solutions but I hope having your parents over has eased your load a little.
and to anyone else who needs one seeing as it's Friday night and none of us seem to have any sort of social life anymore.

Oh, and I'm sure I could do a search and read what they all think, out there... but I'd rather ask you guys first:

Bumbo. Yay or nay? Planning to buy, already bought, already have experience of? What say you?

I'm thinking I might get one. For the baby, you understand.

manda my fat arse won't fit in the bumbo so I definitely use it for the baby although like many of the baby items that have been brought out of the cupboard recently DD1 loves to play with it and at 27m can still fit in it!
DD2 at 16w is still quite wobbly but I haven't tried her in it for about a week. I found it really good, mine was a gift for DD1. For me they come into the 'very good but for just a short while' category so not essential but very handy while they last.
I even squished mine into my hand luggage when flying to Scotland with DD1 2 years ago as I really wanted to have it with us. I found it handy for popping her in while we were having meals. She was at the stage that lying flat was a bit boring but would happily sit upright watching us while we ate. For weaning it keeps them in a good upright position and I bought the tray that goes with it so DD could help herself for BLW and it is very, very easy to wipe down.
SIL on the other hand had a 'budha' sized son and said he never fitted in his which I find a ibt as my girls aren't exactly small but they have/can fit in it. DD2 is definitely a big girl by anyones standards but isn't budha-esque IYKWIM she's big all over
I have a feeling it is a marmite product - you love it or hate it but I definetly love it!