Dec 08 ladies getting re-clackered, with tantrums from toddlers we're sure to be knackered

[traceface]

Loved your title rubs
Never started a thread before so hope this works...can anybody find it?
hello....

Do I have the only child that doesn't seem to have the attention span to watch TV?? He just wanders around, he'll sway a bit if music comes on but he gets bored and wanders away after a bit.

spot I think I read that article you are on about. What really pissed me off was the endless references to "mothers". Errr...hello...what century are we in, what about saying "parents", dads can bloody stay at home and look after kids just as well as mothers if it's considered so bloody damaging to put them in nursery. I totally agree with re all the guilt inducing research, I just ignore it well after having a bit of an internal rant usually. But I seem to be missing the guilt gene which I personally consider a blessing.

Hear, hear Summer and Spot.
Spot, can you kick up a fuss about not having a 12 week scan? When I found out I was expecting DD I asked for an early scan due to previous miscarriages and ectopic pregancy. The Dr initially refused and said it wouldn't make any difference (apart from to my piece of mind obviously [hmmm] and they wouldn't be able to see anything before 12 weeks. I got all tearful on her and eventually she rang he hospital who said that they could scan any time from 6 weeks (which the Dr didn't know). So I ended up having an internal scan at about 9 weeks just to check everything was ok. What I am saying is, do you have any previous history that might encourage them to give you a scan before 20 weeks that you can use to kick up a fuss?

Hear hear Spot - reality is I do need it sometimes. We don't have it on all day, but for showering, it's a must. Plus while I get her supper ready she's quite tired at moment as have been outside all pm and so it keeps her happy as am about to cook an omelette for her. I don't think she's quite as tired as I am though - hee hee!

Been to Wandsworth Common this pm with some friends - was heaven. Loving this weather so much!

I have a theory about all the stupid research about what we should or shouldn't have during pregnancy, how or what we shouldn't or should feed our babies and about TV & childcare etc. Basically I think there are a certain type of male or male influenced institutions who are jealous of womens ability to grow birth and nourish and bring up a child. Obviously it's not something that can be simulated by men and if us women really thought about how we are bloody amazing and the knowledge our amazingness could make us realise we are so awesome and powerful that we should be in charge of the world. (stick with me I'm not mental). So to ensure that we don't realise our amazing awesomeness men and the general male establishment have devised a way to make sure we realise our true potential and make us distrust our instincts and feel guilty for our decisions, or make those decisions for us (because we couldn't possibly do that ourselves). I've never been one for feminism but I do feel a lot of those research and junk, takes away from my pride in myself as a mother and makes me feel guilty. If the childcare research were really true surely the govt would be seeking ways to allow women to take their children to work or work around normal hours.

Right you'll all think I'm loopy now.

Rubs my bro's ex is lovely she and I are still quite close I've never met his new wife but it's all a bit dodgy. My ex DSIL was suspicious something was going on so she confronted him and he said he wasn't having an affair but he was leaving her. Then within a week he was living with this other women. I think the divorce hold off was her sticking 2 fingers to him. They are pretty much friends again now however his new wife refuses to let him see her unless it's absolutely necessary. Interestingly, she doesn't trust him to see her. Crikey people can be nasty to each other. Why can't we all just love each other.

Oh and Katie your GP is a bit clueless, if there is a risk or possibility of ectopic if they scan and pick it up in time they can save ovaries or even the womens life! I had a teeny bit of bleeding at 7 weeks and they wanted me to have a scan at the early wotsit clinic thingy. I had a friend whose GP had no idea that women get postnatal care. She thought they left hospital and that was it no MW visits just a HV contact at some stage and she was even a bit sketchy about that. You would think that as so much of this care is carried out at community level that no GP should not know these things.

Sorry that should have been 'we DON'T realise our true'. Right I'm off to find some chocolate and check out if there is any eye candy on the tele.

veggie I think I love you

Hear hear Veggie!!

We all love the Vegmeister. She speaks good sense.

Rubs, I would love to come and see you in my motor. Or I could hop on a train and we could be a bit cheerful. Where are you again - Henley?

2 out of 3 are asleep. I have washing up and work to do, but fancy wine and rubbish food. Now Lucy is reading over my shoulder, which is exciting as she is only 5 and just learning to read, but also a bit scary. Must away before she realises what stuff I come out with on here.

Back later

Veggie you are not mad at all. I think there is truth in what you said about all the bollocks news reports and research there is on this. Also, what gets on my tits is the research is harly ever quoted in its original scientific context, ie the statistics rather than DM "Breastfeeding gives you cancer", and which actually was from a study with a sample size of 2 people, no control group etc etc. I spefically went and downloaded the orginal research when some particularly unpleasant "working mum" stuff shite came out last year, and it was all a bit convoluted and you couldnt really draw the conclusions that had been printed in all the papers. It would be nice if the general public could be credited with a bit of brain power rather than "Carrots give you cancer".

LadyT I have to say I have felt completely different since I have started driving, and I didnt think it bothered me before, I only did it to get some independence from DH. But now the freedom I feel is amazing. I'm not doing anything with it, but I could, you know ? I hope you get some decent advice with regard to DD. She sounds amazing to me, DS2 can only make fart noises and if he falls over he lies there squeaking until I pick him up. Perhaps she just doesnt realise the potential of walking yet, she is too busy learning her words and no doubt, processing everything that is going on around her....

Summer, your MIL sounds "interesting". I have no MIL so sometimes feel a bit of people that do, but I'm shocked when you say she doesnt offer to help and gets bored. I promise myself I will not regress to childhood when my boys have children...

Sybs I'm in North Surrey, just off the M25 so a lot closer than Henley (used to be there) But yay anytime you want to meet up let me know! I think Katie and Lady are trying to work a plan out so hoping you can come too.

DS is in his big boy bed! Was very excited about the set up of it and kept taking his teddies up there and playing this afternoon. Bed time and screamed bloody murder for a minute until he realized he could just get out, open the door and scream from the top of the stairs (I forgot he could open the door - massive schoolgirl error so a latch will be installed tomorrow ) I put him back in bed and dh actually bodged the door so he couldn't get it open . He screamed bloody murder again then intermittently played with toys but kept screaming. Went in after 15 mins and put him back in bed - didn't talk to him a-la- super nanny style, and he screamed a further 5 mins. It was awful but dh had left a centimetre (yes that's correct who does that) of wine in the bottom of a bottle so I sculled it straight from the bottle like a true alcy - all I needed was a cigarette in the other hand to complete the picture (I don't smoke) but I was very stressed, and then 2 mins later - silence! I have just snuck in and he was asleep on his bed but on top of the covers so I moved him under the covers and fortunately he didn't wake he must have been knackered as normally he would wake with that
Wish me luck for the night......

Oh and Vaggie - I was wrong - that pain is in the same spot always - just to the left of my belly button as it's where ds's knee hits everytime when I carry him

Hello Njan!

Rubes, have you seen this post?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/966893-sore-bump-at-29-weeks

Thanks summer - I have read through it and the one posted within it. The burning / bruised / hot feeling pain they talk about it very similar, only difference is mine is not under boobs - rather left of belly button. I think I've had it on the otherside at one point. I thinkit's just something to do with the position of the baby as it's not as bad since I shoved her around a bit, but it's a real brusied likie pain is the only way I can describe it. dh doesn't thik it's rib spreading - as I had that last time and although it's a similar pain its not quite like it. Oh well, at least I'm not alone - I've had to take paracetemol for it too but not for a few says so hope that means it's going away!

hello
veggie you are very very funny I love what you said about the male conspiracy to undermine us mothers! Very insightful. You should start a column in a newspaper
Re nursery - Lucy went for 3 days a week for 4 years and is very sociable and confident and forms relationships very well. So ner to that research. Yes she's a bugger at times but what 5 year old isn't? I don't think I can blame nursery for that one!
TV - if only I could get P to look at the screen! I've tried to get her interested, just to give me a few minutes to leave the room every now and then, but she just doesn't seem to register its existence! At this age Lucy was a teletubbies fan and would watch it over and over. Where have I gone wrong? If only I'd left her in front of the tv more when she was younger...
Re speech - I went to get P from nursery today and one of the baby room staff saw us (P is now in the toddler room). The nursery nurse said "hello Phoebe", to which P replied "ah", and the nursery nurse said "I see she's coming along nicely with her speech then!" and we both cracked up! I'm sure she'll talk one day...
Actually I was wondering if any of the other babies toddlers bumshufflers crawlers Dec 08 youngsters still put everything (inedible) in their mouths? P still does it all the time. If I take her for a walk we get nowehere because she just crouches down and picks up stones and puts them in her mouth, if we play in the garden she just goes over to the soil and fills her mouth with handfuls of it, same with the sand pit. I try to do play-dough and she just shoves it in her mouth, crayons the same...I know it sounds a bit daft but it's actually really annoying because I can't 'do' anything other than say "take it out of your mouth" over and over, then end up having to stop what we're attempting to do because she won't stop gobbling! Is this normal? I had the feeling she should have grown out of it by now. I even rang the HV (it wasn't mine who I spoke to) to ask her and she just said "that's what babies do" and I felt so stupid that I cried when I got off the phone and made a note to myself never to ring the HV again. (I have made that mental note several times!)
Beans glad to see you're still around even though you're a lady of leisure! Hope you've enjoyed your first day off
Pubes do you mean you think the pain is caused by ds's knee hitting that spot every time you pick him up?Can you try to carry him the other side for a bit to see if it gives the sore bit some respite?
syb nice shoes
daisy I'm glad the camping was better than anticipated. Keep plodding... and don't forget we love you
WG how are things? Have you mamaged to contact any counsellors yet?
I have to admit things are not so peachy here with dh either but I won't bore you with the details for the moment.
Oh and I've had my first 2 sessions with the psychologist and have found it really interesting and helpful so far. She's starting to look at the the roots causes of how I react to stuff and how it affects my emotions and thoughts, not just the PND but what factors in life prior to that have made me vulnerable to certain things. But it's also really practical too and she's already giving me work to do where I have to identify what's going on in certain situations with my mood and thoughts and then she's helping me train myself to see things more accurately, rather than through my PND/low mood eyes. That probably didn't make sense, but it's going well!
sorry I've waffled for ages! DH has tonsillitits and has gone to bed already so It's me and the lap top for a while...

Just a quick dash in.

Trace yep eats all manner of revolting things and DS1 who turns 3 in a few weeks was eating stones this afternoon. Just picked one up went "mmm mummy a stone" popped it in his mouth and sucked it like a sweetie.

Wont even go there with how much telly my boys watch. DS2 has suddenyl decided he likes it but only the movie Monsters Inc. It is the only way to ensure they are not trying to kill themselves when I am in the shower. Or if I need a quick half hour to run the hoover round, mumsnet make dinner, do some laundry........

Right best go have fallen out with DH and need to make up with him.

Hello Rubes, hope the bump is behaving itself tonight.

Trace I understand. Something has changed the way I feel for the better, CBT perhaps. I didnt think I was a negative thinker, but I was about some things and I needed it to be pointed out to me.

I went to the bottle bank on my own tonight in the car ! That is the most exciting thing I have done for a while...

Morning all!

Veggie = "Basically I think there are a certain type of male or male influenced institutions" - there certainly bloody is, and it's called the Daily Mail. Not just male influenced but positively misogynistic. Admittedly I'm bound to hate them given my employer is, err, the opposite end of the spectrum but I do genuinely think they are run by people who hate women (including the women columnists who seem to hate women too) and do exactly what you say with all research. Typical Daily Mail headline - "Single mothers who breastfeed give you cancer!"

Beans, LadyT I got a bit lost in teh thread, did the meet up at Barnes get postponed in the end? It seemed like it might, and if it did, is there a Plan B or alternative dates? Beans I really want to get that changing bag to you for a start! Also, want lots of plans for June as DH is off to the World Cup as you may recall.

Right, I have a question. DD has SUDDENLY started getting up ridiculously early. It started when we were on hols and I thought it was because, as we did a fair bit of driving, she was sleeping lots in the car during the day. This mean that though she got up at 5.30am she was still overall getting the same amount of sleep so I sort of shrugged and thought "Oh well it'll right itself when we get home". But so far since we got home she's sleeping LESS in the day (1 hour or 90 minutes) and now getting up earlier and earlier! This morning she woke up at 4am, howled for a bit, slept for a bit more until about 5am and that was it, up for the day. We tried leaving her but she just howled and howled until we gave up. So, I"m just wondering if anyone knows why this might be? I know some babies do just get up early but I find it hard to believe she would quite suddenly need 2-3 hours less sleep a day???? She's always slept till 4/5, had a feed, then a couple more hours sleep but now she just won't go back down. Any ideas/ suggestions/ similar random experiences?

Kiwi - HI! Good to hear from you. I hate to say this, but it's probably a phase. Oh my GOD that's just too grim. One of my NCT friends now gets up at 5.30am every morning, but she said that she's hoping it'll pass! DD always used to sleep past 7.30, but now she's up and ready at 6.30, whatever time I put her down! I've tried later and it made zero difference. Grr. But I'm hoping that one day it'll get later. If you'd told me 2 years ago that I'd think of 7.30 as a lie in, I wouldn't have believed it!!! But hopefully she might last a bit longer soon. Yours and mine! Maybe you could drop the feed when she wakes up at 5, so she doesn't think there's anything to wake up for and just start her day, but stave off on food for half an hour or more? Hideous for you, but might train her for sleeping a bit longer. But I'm probably talking nonsense.

And I'd LOVE to get my mitts on your changing mat at some stage! Wetlands was postponed, so am happy to go another time - I'm on maternity leave now - hurrah! So can go any time pretty much! But we're moving in 2.5 weeks, so maybe could do it next week or something? Plus will be enormously pregnant before too long - already feeling pretty cumbersome and grim. Find I'm so exhausted by the end of the day, it's terrible. Even if I have a snooze at lunchtime. V dull for DH.

DD has now stopped eating breakfast unless she's got the TV on. GOD the Daily Mail would crucify me!!! She has fruit and/or cereal in her high chair, but her toast will only be eaten if Zingzilla is on!

Lady - are you ok? You've gone v quiet and I'm a bit worried about you! Where are you? Are you keeping your pecker up, so to speak? Thinking of you.

Sybs - when are you next in Latchmere? Would really love to see you .

Kiwi - meant changing bag!

Hello, aaah bliss woke up to a laughing giraffe rather than ds whining to get out of the cot
Trace, I don't think that is what caused it but you never know. Thing is I don't carry him around that much anymore - or perhaps that is why it's feeling better

Beans, ds will eat any spoon fed stuff in his clip on high chair but then he usually has a piece of toast or any time he has finger food he loses interest unless he can eat it walking around not ideal is it. I went to a friends house recently and he was in a highchair in front of her telly next to her dd so they were both sat watching tv and he ate a whole sandwich and then a yogurt for lunch I know it was because he was distracted by the tv!
Kiwi not sure about the early waking although if ds has too long a nap in the day he will tend to be up before 7. He has been with no nap at all one day and slept till 9. Maybe she just needs less in the day. Having said that, ds DOESN'T STOP in the day - he is constantly either running or walking around so really does knacker himself which def helps him sleep longer. Do you have blackout blinds?

Rubs DD is constantly on the go too and has never ever napped for longer than 1 hour 50 minutes so I don't think it's too much kip in the day (though it may have started that day when we were driving lots I suppose). The day before yesterday she was up at 5.20am, slept 55 minutes in the day and bed at 7.... God knows where she gets the energy from because she never sits still for longer than about 30 seconds...

Beans - DD gets bored when eating too, she often eats some in her high chair, then some more on my lap, then some more while picking at the plate and charging around the room a bit ...

DD has definitely been edging earlier in the mornings but it's quite a sudden leap from 6.30-7am ish to 5am!! It bloody well better be a SHORT phase. My friend just told me her DD did the same just before she walked so maybe it's a developmental thing, she is getting there with the old walking now... [crosses fingers] I've been trying with ditching the 4/5am feed too but it doesn't seem to make any difference at the mo. Eek!

Next week sounds good to me! Is Monday the bank holiday? I am free then (or at the weekend esp Sunday as DH is working) but I think I have an NCT meet up at some point, though that would be local so doesn't mean I can't do both if the timing is right!

Morning! Deffo third (or fourth) Veggie 's wise words. Anyway, my primary teacher pal seems to think
that the fact we actually talk to the boys and ds1 can hold a conversation is impressive, which is slightly worrying. Obv if a child is either plonked in front of the telly or strapped into a buggy with no adult interaction at all that is not good.

Jj and Summer: looks like I will be in Cambridge in June, but for a meeting and lunch so not sure if I
will have any spare time. If I do, would love to meet for a coffee. And JJ: do you have any experience of the CUP Cambridge Library Project? If so I'd be v interested.

Morning,
veggie I think you may have a point with the research, well maybe not so much the research, I am sure there is some very good research on child development, etc, but more the people who report on the research and twist it all to say something or other! Or the crap "researchers" with an agenda.

Re TV: Do your DCs sit still and watch telly or are they in highchair, etc in front of telly?? I never put him in highchair in front of telly as no TV in kitchen where he eats so maybe that is why he's not bothered.

effie that would be great, though still working in June so depends on if it's either a Thursday or I can skive off for a bit.

kiwi re the sleeping, I wonder if she's just got herself in a knot with her longer naps on holiday and it will sort itself out. Does she seem more grumpy and tired?? If there's any way that you could make sure it's super quiet/dark for her nap maybe she might have her old length nap in the day to sort of reset herself if you see what I mean?? I know that sometimes giving them a shorter nap in the day means they sleep longer at night but sometimes it is the other way round when they get overtired and confused - sleep breeds sleep sometimes!!

Summer ds doesn't eat his meals in front of telly. He eats either outside with us at table or inside or inside in his chair clipped on a little table which is in the kitchen. He does like to snack on finger food in living room though which I don't like as he leaves it everywhere. He is watching telly now - however he gets interested in certain shows then loses interest and wanders off to play with toys (if i'm on computer or I play with him but all he wants to do at the moment is go outside so he even gets his shoes and carries them around! The dog rings a bell to go outside, and he even did that the other day!! He has a toy mower which he uses inside and out!