Dec 08 ladies getting re-clackered, with tantrums from toddlers we're sure to be knackered

[traceface]

Loved your title rubs
Never started a thread before so hope this works...can anybody find it?
hello....

Oh hello ladies have I missed you for coffee, I think Trace is probably at the GPs. Trace I hope it's just your intercostal muscles, not anything nasty. You'll be relieved to know I found some milk. At DS1's school the 5+ children get a little tetra pack of milk every day, DS1 feels a little left out so I send him in with a little popper of milk and thankfully we have 5 of these left in the cupboard so I used some from one of those.

Rubs I think most times he could make an educated guess but I think he should just say if he is unsure. I think all HP's feel we need to fix stuff when sometimes patient, spouses etc just want to be listened to. This is something I have definitely learned since becoming a mum. I'm def going to try to stop, fixing or lecturing to people when I go back to work. I think I've still got some work to do as I keep lecturing at you lot.

Beans are you off work now or is today your last day? Please don't go away again when you stop work, we missed you when you were away.

Urbane I'm glad you've got a day off with your mners children. I should be doing some housework but I'm chilling with DS1, who is watching Mister Maker. Oh gotta go, apparently our making time is just beginning...

Trace, I hope the doc sorts out the pain in your chest. How complex the human body is. Thanks for your kind words yesterday. I am so pleased for you about P sleeping and I am glad things are improving with Lu in all areas. She sounds full of beans, which has to be a good thing. I thought quite a lot about what you said about our possible lack of influence over what these babes do. Before I had DD I thought everything was down to the parents. Needless to say I think that's broadly a load of guff now I mean, you mentioned O being a good sleeper - but I know, in my heart of hearts, that that was all down to her. I just did what WE ALL do, which is put them to bed and hope for the best. Lucky for me it was something she took to. If she'd had disrupted sleep I would have tried to cuddle, feed or rock her to sleep just like all those books tell you is wrong or a 'rod for your own back' (I mean, what else are you supposed to do?!) I think you deserve more than a medal for suffering from broken sleep for so long. I honestly don't know how you have carried on and you don't complain. I have had two broken nights and I feel rotten - what a wimp!

Urbane, have a LOVELY day off, you really deserve it. I thought of you last night, during 'In the Loop'...

Rubes, I am sorry you have got this anxiety about your divarication. Most of the medics I know socially, well - you would need to have your leg hanging by a thread before there's even a flicker of interest! Hope you get on ok at the GP, let us know.

Lots of GP action today. Yes, Veggie, I do have faith in O's GP. I have only met him once but he is lovely with children, as you'd expect. I was up until after 1 in the end with DP obsessing about whether any of it was our fault and being a terrible worrier he is convinced we have given her a complex about food (I think this is impossible) and that my not taking her to Baby&Toddler every week (it's for an hour, or an hour and a half) has arrested her development The fact is, she was well over 1 before she bumshuffled. I guess walking will be delayed, like that...The fact is, by the time all the December babies are at school they will be experts at walking and talking and no one will give a second thought to when they did it. I don't want to mar my DD's precious childhood by living it through a mist of high anxiety, so I am determined to be more philosophical about it. And stop boring you lot about it! Oh, and Veggie, I like white coffee as well. Haven't been able to drink it black since I was pregnant with O - it completely turned me off it.

NJAN, really glad you are pushing on with the driving. That sounds very positive. Re: Dad, it is hard to get details (he doesn't want to talk about it and my Stepmother is a bit potty) - he is going to see the 'bone doctor' soon but I can't get to the bottom of whether he has had a scan or not yet. Thanks for asking.

Right...HAVE to do work today, whatever happens!

hmm not sure trace, I think the first thing is to get a proper opinion. As having the pain I've got has not come up as a symptom of it at all. I / dh could be completely wrong and perhaps it's something entirely different. Its hard because I don't like the 2 midwives attached to my local hospital (health-in-pregnancy-grant-gate) and I can't go and see the midwife at my hospital as I am not under her care. Hope your doc appointment is going well.

Vaggie, he claims he does tell me his unsure, and I spose he does to some extent but not enough obviously. He thinks I bang on about things then get so worked up that he just switches off in the end - nice. So it's a vicious cycle.

Though he is learning. He actually called the after hours GP once when ds was 5 weeks as we thought he had a bad earache but the thing is dh used to get them as a child and had many op's so he probably wanted to make sure it didn't happen to him. Of course ds miraculously recovered the minute we say the GP at 11pm

Right have to get sorted now

Lady - oh you poor thing. Horrible to be fretting so much about things. Heinous for you. Money is constantly a worry for us, but I'm like an ostrich and just bury my head and assume it'll get sorted. No good at all. Paying rent for the next year is going to make things v hard for us as our mortgage repayments have been tiny of late. So it's going to be a total shock.

And re O - I would honestly try not to worry. My nephew has never really eaten anything - and to this day - a healthy 5 year old - he hardly eats a thing. He's quite wee for his age - probably more like a 3 year old, but the doctor has said that he will grow, but just in time. My sister has worried terribly about it, but now just gets on with it and he's fine and healthy and so physical and busy! Re the walking - one of my friend's younger brothers (15 years younger than us) didn't walk til he was 2 and didn't utter a word til he was nearly 4. He's recently graduated from Oxford with a 2:1 in English Lit! So please don't worry. Everything evens out in the wash.

I don't know about the separating tummy muscles, but I'm pretty sure mine are fcked! When I sit up in the bath, my tummy goes into a kind of triangle shape, which just looks extraordinary. Guess I'll worry about it after this one arrives. Doesn't sound nice giving you that pain, though Pubes*. Poor you. I hope GP helps - I'm sure your DH is right, but he's probably hedging his bets.

Veggie - I'm not going to disappear, promise! I finished work yesterday, which was lovely! I got a card, signed by everyone, which was v sweet. I blushed massively at the public presentation and started crying, which I'm v embarrassed about!!! But they are v nice people, so will miss them. I felt so dodgy yesterday. Then we went out for dinner to some friends' and I had to leave after an hour as was so unwell. "Squizzy down below" as someone I know calls it! Got home and just spent about an hour on the loo! Not good for my pile that's still lurking from squeezing out DD! Feeling so much better today, but just eating toast and drinking some coke or lucozade to get sugars back in!

Took Whizz for a haircut this morning and she looks gorgeous! I tried to do it myself and she was so wiggly, I nearly took her eye out. So took her to this place that they sit in a car or train or something, then watch Peppa Pig while they cut their hair. Brilliant. She loved it. Phew.

DD now in bed and I'm about to follow her - exhausted after my busy night. Ahem.

Trace - it's lovely to hear from you too - you sound much perkier and it's smashing.

Katie - I do hope all your bunged up gooey snotsville is going to shift. I do feel for you. I've had the most satisfying appalling bogies this pregnancy. The other morning, I woke up because my nose was running and I wiped it on my hand, only to find that I was having a massive nose bleed. All over my lovely John Lewis white pillow case. Was gutted! And despite immediately scrubbing it with cold water and vanish, then putting it on a cold wash with more vanish, I didn't get all the blood out. SOB!

Anyway, enough blathering!

PS - Good LORD - after my night on the loo, I have just had a 1.5 hour sleep while DD sleeps. Quite astonishing. I love it! Lucky me. x

Rubes It would be great if you could come as well. I can't remember where you are, but would Worcester be a possibility for you? Are you on FB? I get really confused by people's RL names so can't remember who is and who isn't. I would happily pick you and Lady up from a local station, plus your DC's, and bring you back to my place, however, I think that would be a bit of a nightmare with the amount of car seats it would involve.
Also, a friend of mine had the problem you are having with the muscles not knitting together properly, however I'm pretty sure she never complained about any pain, so definitely good to get that checked out.
I'm still really snotty and now have swollen glands as well, I can't see any sign of this shifting annoyingly.
Buuuuuuuut, I am getting extremely excited about these cottages, it is all looking like it might actually happen. My sister in Zambia has agreed to invest her shares in one of the cottages so that we then have a bit of breathing space to sell our house and buy her out. I had a look around the outside today and there is a huge amount of potential. The tenants should be handing the keys back tonight so DH and I will go and have a proper look tomorrow to see the scale of the project. It is going to need ALOT of work, so quite daunting, but still exciting.
Better go, children are hungry, damn them!

Gosh Katie Im getting quite excited about you cottages. I think you should have a little MN party when their ready.

I will and you can all come and stay! I'm going to take some photos tomorrow for my sister, so will post some on here as well so that you can see too.

Oh Katie, that's wonderful news. I'm so happy for you that it seems to be coming together. Well done you. Hurray!

I've just been to a friend's tea party. They're the NCT lot - really nice and love seeing them. BUT her little boy is like devil child. It's not very relaxing as he goes up to all the littles and smacks them in the face, or rips their toys out of their hands. DD was carefully trying to climb up their garden step into the house and he went up and aimed a kick in her face. Luckily he was too far away to do any damage, so just a glancing blow, but she was quite shocked. The Mum is so lovely and chilled and I think she's mortified by it. But she's very soft with him and says, "Oh come on, play nicely" in soft voice. I think I'd probably do a stern "NO" and take him into another room. But then, DD is so weedy I haven't had that issue yet. But it is quite scary for all the other kids. They see him coming and they all flinch and go in the opposite direction. DD just handed over the ball she was playing with rather than have a confrontation with him! Must be really hard for the mum though. I find it quite hard to be patient with him!

Gosh Beans that's a little scary. I have to say that is the same reaction my friend has to her boy who is really horrid and hits DS1. It gets worse as they get bigger, he has hit DS1 with a train toy before and really hard. In the end DH & I have started telling him off ourselves because we are a little sick of it. Unfortunately DS2 is being a bit hitty with DS2 so I'm trying to nip it in the bud. Hope he doesn't continue with it.

Lady I saw a little girl today who made me think of O projected forward a year (and Dutch). She was a wee thing not much bigger than DS2 & and with small features. She wasn't nimble on her feet but she was walking well enough, without wanting to sound harsh, she didn't look like she had been walking for ages. But she was the sweetest most polite thing and while my 2 and most of the other kids were barreling around the play area of the cafe we were in she was carefully playing and was very ordered with what she did. This sounds a bit mean, but she seemed a bit more intellectual than some of the other kids. She seemed to speak very well but it was in Dutch so I'm just assuming. I would love to know how old she was, I think she was about 2.5 but it was hard to tell as I might be advancing her because she was so chatty. Anyway I imagine O being like her, making the other kids look like Neanderthals in the play area. Also ad I said I'm not a big toddler group person. I don't want to put you off of course but it just wasn't my thing. I went to one in Hampstead because my friends from work went there but that was about it. I tend just to meet up with friends with kids as then the boys see the same kids. Could you see if there are any MNers in your area, then you could Suss them out on here to see if they're ok?

I can see that I am going to get very boring about this, so apologies in advance, but just looked up the property on Google Earth. Apart from the bit in the bottom right corner, that is all the land that we could own.

Katie it's come up on my itouch as quite a substantial load of area, is it all those green fields? Are all those buildings in the middle yours? Wow we'll have to start calling you Baroness!

The house is on the right and then it is all the green surrounded by the road, apart from the bit in the bottom right hand corner.It's about 1 acre of land. The two long buidlings are farm sheds that Dad left there to make it easier to apply for planning permission, which might be something we would look into, ie. selling off a bit of the land for someone to build another house, which could raise the capital we would need to get the house sorted out. I'll shut up now .
Oh and Veggie I would prefer Countess, if you don't mind .

Mmm, well, I have promised DP I will take her, Veggie. I will just grin and bear it. It will only be for two or three months anyway, as we will be leaving this village and I will start at the new one. I won't enjoy it myself but I will do it for DD's sake. But do I think it will make much difference to her? Er...nope. I would much rather hang with people I like and their kids. But no one is round here. Maybe I will look at MN local though.

Katie, that is SUPER exciting about the cottages. You won't be boring me, I assure you. I am vv interesting in doing up houses (even though it is a gigantic pain in the ass) and property is such a smart thing to invest in. I have a STACK of interiors magazines that I will be finished with in a month or two if you fancy them. Very soothing reading before bed...

Beans, that boy who hits sounds difficult. I think if my DD was hitting others I would really make sure she knew it was wrong, even if it was as much to convince the other mothers that I cared!

Might watch a Hitchcock tonight. Ther's nothing on the box.

Lady you sound like you need a break. I know it's difficult to have a break from all this but you really need something. Could you, DP & DD have a little work in the countryside this weekend. Just to enjoy each others company. No house DIY no work stuff no analysing DDs development & growth, just time together. Would that be possible.

By the way I think O us gorgeous and after looking at her photos again today on FB and seeing this beautiful little girl today....oh I just so wish I could have had a chance to have a girl. They are so sweet and soft and lovely. My boys are sweet but so rough and boisterous, and so loud. Actually maybe if I had a girl she would be just as noisey.

We had a nice time today though. The boys & I went to the beach it was a bit chilly in the sea breeze but it was very sunny. My friend couldn't meet up
in the end. Trace, my Dutch friend scares me because she is very blunt and a bit forceful. I always feel I might get in trouble if I can't meet up or don't want to do what she wants. She's not as easy going as the people I'm used to hanging out with. I think she might have ishoos, or it's just the Dutch thing. They are really quite funny, very opposite to Brits. They think it's strange even rude not to express what they think, and very bluntly. They find the idea of preserving someones feelings by not saying something quite strange.

Sorry I meant WALK in the countryside not WORK, obviously I don't think you need to be plowing the fields or anything!

Hello everyone,

LadyT You have already had some super advice from these lovely ladies. I'll add that O will not have to put the age she started walking on her UCAS form! Please do not blame yourselves, it is just one of those things. Any parent can get a picky eater, bad sleeper, tantrum maker, late talker etc. Which film did you watch?

zoe That is so cute about the animals! It must be lovely being out in the countryside.

katie How very exciting about the cottages. Fingers crossed for you.

trace That is fantastic news about P's sleeping. Hurrah for her!

beans I chuckled at your 'pile' singular! Glad you had a good last day. Don't leave us not you are not at work!

Is a H width really very wide? Anyone with a child with similarly freaky feet recommend anywhere to get any sandals? Clarks don't seem to do them that wide!!

Jolly, H is quite wide but I was always able to get shoes in that size for DS from Clarks. Is your one quite small? Is there a bigger one you could try?

Vaggie, Beans, Lady and all who have been following my divarication-gate saga. dh did a bit more research since I was going on about the pain so much and doen't seem to think it should be accompanied by any pain. I have also been looking things up and found quite a lot of people with the same bruising/burning type feeling I am getting and we both thionk it is completely unrelated. He has just had a good look and feel after work tonight and thinks I may not have one of those tafter all I didn't know at first as to whether he is just trying to make me feel better (however he does know better than that!) but he is saying at best there is stretched muscle but had a proper feel and thinks I only have less than a fingers width of gap which is completely normal during a normal pregnancy? So now I am thoroughly confused but will see if the pain thing keeps bothering me and perhaps ask the (dodgy) midwife about it all as I have a routine appointment next week. I also have to go and get bloods done at the hospital so will try and nab the nice midwife there and see if she can have a chat too. Haven't heard from the consultant yet but I think even if I didn't have any medical concerns, she should be willing / wanting me to see her at least once (besides the pre-op for 5 mins) anyway, right? And perhaps she can reassure me about the tummy thing at the same time.
Oh Beans you make me laugh!
Katie -hmmmm ot sure about Worcester. I would love to and perhaps say def yes if these bloody motorways didn't have all these average speed camera's on them bloody everywhere. it took me an hour and a half nearly two hours to get down the M1 from Bedfordshire so I fear the same on the M5 is it? I'm in the North of Surrey, so how far do you think that would be as I'm not sure exactly where you are. I'm on FB yep - I'll try to remember to send you a message so you know
Sorry my posts have been mainly about me - bit of a stressful week.
ds has started to make sounds that almost sound like sentences today! I mean, no detectable words whatsoever but I can tell he is trying hard and pointing at stuff etc which he never did before today!
Right I promise next post will be not so self centred
3 more days of work left

Jolly DS1 is an F which apparently 'on the narrow side'. We have the same problem with getting sandals but for the opposite reason. We have wolfskins for him at the mo. Also have a look at Teva see if they do some. Surely you can just let the straps out.

Jolly: both boys have gurt clodhoppers and I find start-rite much better than Clarks. Or try an independent shoe shop. Ds1 had a few pairs of Ecco shoes and boots which were a bit pricier but a v good fit.

Am on the train heading to Derby for my mum's graduation! Woohoo! Except she is convinced I won't be able to walk from the station to the Assembly Rooms and wanted my aunt (who lives on the outskirts) to pick me up, drive to hers and then both of us get the bus in. I worry about my family sometimes. If I get lost will have to FB Veggie for directions!

DD has recently gone up from a size 2 to a 2.5 - seriously tiny weeny feet. Her first pair of shoes, they only had one style in her size! I'm going to take her back in a couple of weeks and hopefully they will have grown. But they're really thin too. Very strange as DH and I are both bang on average and we are bang on average height too. I'm the average clothes size for UK and I think he is too (although more whippet like than me). Plus he's an accountant and I'm a secretary. Could we be more average as a couple! Hee hee!

DH has taken DD on a run this morning with her in the running buggy. Then going to the swings. She loves these outings, it's great. And I get to put my feet up for an hour or so. Marvellous. Have lathered myself in body lotion this morning as noticed that I have old lady legs and feet - sort of flaking! Plus have bio-oiled my tummy. AND I even managed to shave my legs in the shower - no mean feet with 34 week belly. Then cut my toenails, which was quite hard as well! Hoping to paint them soon!

My pile, singular, has bred. I now have one on top of the old one. Bloody disgusting. Any tips on how to deal with them? Got anusol, but not sure if it's any good.

Rubes - your brusing does sound strange and I definitely think you should speak to a midwife about it next week. And your consultant if you can. If anything, just to put your mind at rest. But I guess pregnancy is full of these strange aches and pains.

Lady - I agree with Veggie - have a bit of time out from the house and enjoy the countryside around you - remember why you moved there in the first place. Plus with these toddler groups, you never know, you might actually meet some nice people. I've met a couple of lovely folk through music lessons with DD and even a couple from preggy yoga, which so wasn't my scene! But am still in touch with them, which is lovely. And having a nipper similar age means you always have something in common, which can lead you onto finding more in common with them, if you know what I mean.

We're off to a BBQ today - woo! Can't wait!

x

PS DD also wears Start-Rite. Relatively spenny, but worth it as she wears them every day. They're very much winter shoes, so am thinking when her feet might have grown in a few weeks, that I might get her a pair of supportive sandals and also maybe some less supportive canvas shoes for flailing around in. Will see!

Hello all! Back from hols, generally lovely but DD up at 5.30am every morning so a bit knackered. Cos we were driving she had two sleeps a day in the car so I think that's why

proper catch up later nut just wanted to say to LadyT - DD weighs the same as O and isn't walking yet either -my niece didn't walk till 19 months, my sister till 21 months - I know you know this but it's NOT anything to worry about. And little = easier to tote around... Xxx