June 2008-keeping little hands off mummy's creme eggs

[poppy34]

New thread here

Lol at not liking the trim! I don't have a girly girl anywhere inside in me so don't have to worry about such trivialities .

I think your neighbour's daughter sounds too clever by 'alf as my dad would say .

Yes, I should be in bed too - dh just in from the pub so off to play baby lottery for another night .

cars - we just bought a zafira to get the extra boot room for bikes. It drives like a van not a car, but I grew up with vans so I'm okay with that...

dgt It'd be great if everyone makes a fuss with any influence they have on whatever party. I wrote my MP about this (she was labour) when we lived in town and I got a response back from the party that talked about how wonderful tax credits are for working families. It was so oblivious and rude, obviously they hadn't read my letter at all.

My nanny wrote me an email to say she's not available to start for another two months. DH can't cover for me for that much longer for a job where I'm not getting technical skills so I'm calling my boss and probably resigning today. It was a crap job anyways but it doesn't feel very good. DH says we should consider stopping to try to get me back at work and I should at least take the summer to enjoy myself (I was working 5 mornings a week last summer and DS1 was very upset so it wasn't a good summer for us). It would make life easier - it's hard to balance the SAHM job + the work.

I am laughing at rolf for giving Eddie a much needed shake (you're doing wonderfully Eddie and it's supposed to be this hard) and then I laughed even harder at spider's swear jar.

We've had a ton of campaigning for the Conservatives but it took the incumbent Lib Dem ages to get his act together and put a leaflet through the door.

Amber was in spain for the weekend (lucky her!)

I think Jakers is aimed at older kids - it was on CBBC for a while too.

AH, I love your pics on FB this morning - esp your sewing . And it was great to read another good news story about sharing a room - your boys are gorgeous btw .

Really sorry to hear about your job - you are really going through the mill with work at the moment [can't use a sad face cos I get told off!].

Anyway, big news here . . . . drum roll . . . . A slept through the night! He woke briefly when I went to feed M at 5.30am but then slept (and chatted!) on and off til EIGHT am!

Keep everything crossed this isn't a one off!

Great news Eddie!

Abdn, I also loved your pics this morning. The boys are very cute. Re quilting - how about giving people the chance to provide their own material for you to make into a quilt or whatever for them?

Aarrrgghh, exam day. Must concentrate.

dgt go study - and yes, I'd love to quilt with someone's choice of material. I'm taking the neighbour to the quilt shop to pick her own fabric because there's nothing worse than making a quilt for someone and they don't like the colours. (the other four baby quilts have been for my three best friends and my new nephew so it's much easier to pick for them).

eddie make sure you give A a gold star...

Good news Eddie.

Good luck DGT (although hopefully you aren't reading this)

AH - we got upgraded to a Zafira in Austria last year. It is so like the Astra to drive, so I liked it. DH says no (allergy to people carriers etc)

spider tell him it's not a people carrier because i wouldn't put kids in the back row. DH is excited about using it to carry bikes though - but it wasn't your DH that's also into cycling was it? I think it was ktpie's...

oh and rolf thanks for the support. I'm sad that I did my PhD because I'm not using it and to be honest, there were other things I would have enjoyed doing more. (Even perhaps a PhD in a less-employable area). But I know that's ridiculous - and maybe my PhD got me a husband - DH says the reason he was so attracted to me when we first met was because I was doing something so interesting.

LOL Eddie at asking my opinion on child stuff! I have considered that clock, though - looks good. I reckon Alex might be ok with understanding the concept; but how you get him to be quiet until the sunny face is there, I don't know! I'm speaking from my own experience here - Iestyn would understand the concept, but he regularly ignores anything I tell him to do...
I had a dreadful sleeper too. It's really, really hard. Now, he's not too bad, and isn't usually an early waker either; but I'm not sure that makes up for the year of strife! He didn't sleep through even once until he was about 8 months old, and it wasn't consistent until he was well over a year.
Breastfeeding - agree with Spider, made no difference to Iestyn and it meant anyway that I could never ever have any time off. No option of DH dealing with it or anything.
And spoon feeding - it was fine here; although BLW folks need to watch for an attack from me too! Seriously, I had nothing but sarky comments and smugness when I was weaning Iestyn, and it made me v. down because he was a small baby (still is) and BLW would have been unwise: if I let him fanny around with bits of food he wouldn't have eaten it at all, and would have got skinnier, and the whole size/eating thing was such a worry. (I'm still quite touchy because he is small for his age; when I was feeding him and smug folks came up to me to say 'oh, you're doing it the old-fashioned way; why don't you let him learn to feed himself' etc, it just hurt, as in - you're doing it wrong, he'll suffer for it.)

Abdn it's really hard with work and education etc etc. I did my DPhil for the love of it, and I'm still passionate about my subject. But it's not easy and never is - I had such a bad week last week and I'm applying for another job again but won't mention it here because I've lost all my points on career whingeing back in December! I really struggle with the fact that I was always told 'do well, work hard, and things will be ok'. Well, I've done rather well, I work really hard, and it's not at all ok. I have never had a permanent job and I'm now 34. I'm on a starting salary. I'm screwed over again and again, and it's likely to keep happening because the institution where I want/need to work knows that they have me where they want me (as it were). It's allegedly a flexible career if you have children; in fact, it's only flexible if you have a permanent job - this uncertainty certainly isn't flexible and impacts on my general welfare so badly. I'm living with the thought that everything could end in 14 months time (that's how much I have left now) and will be back in the 'hope something comes up' situation, which is a killer, yet again.
And then there's the really clever people who actually got on with life and got a job...
So I see where you're coming from. Whilst I don't regret doing my D.Phil, it's only because then I'd have nothing left really! I am hugely resentful and bitter, though, and can see that 'you'll always have a PhD' isn't great when you haven't got a job, have children to support and you're miserable (and bitter in my case...)

Um, that probably wasn't even helpful so I'll go. It was meant to be sympathy, I know what it's like. Sorry!

Yes Abdn it's my DH, and as a result I drive a van , just a little one, a Peugeot Partner with some back seats fitted, the back seats fold up which is quite handy. Sometimes it annoys me as it can be a bit of a faff to get the kids in the back but we went out in my Mum's Note the other week and it was so hard to fit the kids seats in the back and the double buggy in the boot, there was no room for anything else and it had seemed quite a spacious small car to me. With the van it's so easy, there is tons of room in the back even with the boys in the back. I'm used to just chucking everything in. It also comes in handy for sheltering in the back, we did on Monday when we went to the allotment and it chucked it down!

Abdn - reading about your heartache about quitting work makes me feel very glad that I wasn't particularly passionate about my career, but also sad in some ways, I think I would have become more passionate about it if I had been doing it for any length of time. Anyhow it made my decision to quit pretty easy.

Eddie - I'm so glad A had a better night, you seem to be having a tough time at the moment. I wish I could help in some way but I don't think I have any useful advice. In fact I touch wood all the time that J remains a 'good sleeper', A was before wasn't he? I can manage with just getting up for H, who is easily settled with a bit of milk (at the moment, again I should be touching wood here) but it would be so hard if J started waking as well. How is the house move going? That adds to the stress doesn't it. I hated the palava of moving.

My Mum is on her way to visit us for a day. She had a big strop a while ago because she came down for the day then decided afterwards that I had been mean because I wouldn't let her stay (she didn't say she wanted to) and the journey here and back was too much for her to do in one day. Except of course for days like today where it suits her . Anyhow J will enjoy seeing her.

Weird, I'm getting massive x-posts and missing previous posts too.
I even missed a quilt discussion! Abdn DH jokes that my native american name is 'Quilts with Shirts' because I made an entire seconhand recycled quilt from his old shirts and a suit! I made it for Iestyn and finished it just before he was born. I'm planning another now.

Cars - well, I'm a boy racer and I drive a VW Golf. I'm keen on the Golf Plus for my next one, but Dad reckons I should get a Golf Estate which they're making again. They do look good.
Alas, my slight scrape (my first ever) turned out to be £150 worth of scratch. Dad thinks it's hilarious - it's really quite bad damage for clipping a corner. Shame our stone around here is good - a bit of crumbly sandstone would have had more give I'm sure.

x posted there Essie, you're another one who makes me glad I wasn't passionate about my career! DH works at a uni and works with a lot of people struggling with contract work, it's such a tough way of doing it. I hope it all sorts out for you.

It's interesting what you say about feeling looked down on by BLWers. I think I have a tendency to be a bit smug about how good J has been at eating, I put it down to the BLW but I have nothing to back that up with and in fact I think a lot of it is luck of the draw, he could have been good at eating whatever I had done. It could all be quite different with H.

Another x post! I love the sound of the shirt quilt.

Just had a look at Abdn's pics, I love the owls and your boys are so cute!

That's so crap about academic jobs. My friend is in a similar situation, contractually, to you Essie and just to add to the fun her husband has left her.

I have a horrid tummy bug. I was awake in the night convinced I was going to throw up, and I'm sure I'd feel better if I did. We have a decorator in the house so I feel really uncomfortable about regular trips to the loo . I'm hoping T will have a huge nap. Although it's the girls' room that's being painted, and I don't think she'll be happy in another room.

The feeding issue is an interesting one in this issue, cos of course we have two sons at completely different ends of the spectrum. And I have to say the having a child who is considered to be overweight/an overeater can be just as stressful , esp when you're overweight yourself.

This is going to sound awful but in some ways it's been a relief to me that M is the way he is cos it means that A isn't like he is because of me, if that makes sense? . A's weight has really settled now but he was a big baby/toddler for a while and I used to feel the weight of people's judgement, "ooh, you know what they say, fat mummy, fat child". And that comment that one of my NCT mums made last summer (about A being a poster boy for childhood obesity) still has the power to make me cry.

A is a v good eater, but sometimes doesn't seem to know when to stop. It's weird that so much pressure is put on mums of small babies and yet the big public health issue now is obesity. I find it all v stressful tbh.

I meant "in this household"!

Yes Eddie the bf can be a nightime nightmare take it from me. J had loooooong periods where he was up for a feed 6/7 times a night, and he was about 18 months before he cut down to just one feed. How I wished I could have kicked dh out of bed to do it. Remember how he stopped feeding when awake for 4 months? It was absolutely dreadful and I was in tears practically every day for the first couple of months over it. Now though, I look back and thing, 'little tinker, he was such a pain ' You will get to this stage too I promise you. Also, good horror stories like this are essential for scaring the mums of newborns. You need at least one under your belt .

He is also a crappy eater (and always has been) so I feel your pain there as well. He lived on a slice of (pre-chewed) cheese on toast a day for MONTHS. Now, he won't touch it!

Essie, sorry to hear your job situation has got crappy again. its so hard that there is so little you can do about it.

Rolf, you obviously scared the bee-jesus out of her. Well done!

Obviously eddie your situation goes to show you just can't win. Either big/little, you are guilt-tripped to hell as a parent.

The fact is that every child has there own natural frame, and nothing you can do will change that. People who call toddlers obese though are nasty and cruel. When her child has an eating disorder you will have our permission to feel very very smug.

Thanks sybil .

Just to clarify my comment on bf, I wasn't for one moment suggesting it was easier and know from many experiences (RL and on here) just how tough it can be. The reason it would have helped here is that I could have fed M in my room without distrurbing A with all the nocturnal wanderings . Hopefully that would have prevented his sleep from going to pot - but it's all supposition tbh!

Just wanted to clarify that though cos didn't anyone reading my post and thinking I thought that I'd had it harder cos I ff M.

Sorry, I'm tying myself in knots now! Going for a walk - M was up three times last night and since he got up this morning at 8.30am he has not stopped crying. I'm going slightly mental!

Yeah, agree with Sybil, well said. And those comments were so out of line I was furious (I remember it). And, for the record, unjustified - A is nowhere near overweight. He's normal. Bigger than Iestyn but that's true of most babies - including the 18 mo who does swimming with us. Bigger.

Job stress - folks, don't feel you need to sympathise cause my default setting is 'somewhat miserable, scared and bitter'! It's been not right since October 2008 and will remain so until I get either a permanent job (although it may not fix things) or a job in a history dept, pref Bangor. Academia stopped being funny a long time ago and is now officially in a worse state than the NHS. I blame the government.
Rolf that's happened to my friend too! She's about to become unemployed - weeks to go now - and her husband ran off with his secretary (idiot, and so clichéd!!) So she lost her house in the divorce, obv. has money to buy a house but can't buy one here because she has no job and might have to move; or if she doesn't get a job will just have to pick somewhere in the country to live and work in Tesco or whatever. It's so unfair, she's a really good academic. It puts my woes in perspective.

Hope you're feeling a bit better Rolf. That kind of nausea can be worse than actually getting it out of your system IYKWIM.

Bizarre here - the Straits have completely disappeared in a big fog. It's drizzling (first rain since Easter ) but apparently this volcanic ash might be affecting things.

I remember those comments as well Eddie and they were so out of line. From the pictures you post of A on fb he looks perfectly normal sized to me. I remember you talking about worrying about projecting weight issues onto A and I think the very best we can do as parents is be as knowledgeable about childhood nutrition as we can and feed our children accordingly. The problem with childhood obesity I think comes from far too many parents feeding their children crap all the time, or overfeeding them.

Essie is right - you can be made to feel guilty whatever size your child is. I'm so relieved there are so many 'small' toddlers on here as S is smaller than all of his peers. It stops me worrying too much knowing there are others out there.

Ok, having lunch and heading off!

So much chat.

On the toddler size thing, I forgot to mention that at the scan last week the baby came up as large for dates. The sonographer said exactly what was said at P's scans: "big for dates but don't read anything into that"... P was 9lb 13oz. I had a bit of a sinking feeling . I keep reminding myself that Deb who is a very petite lady gave birth naturally to Ethan who was an oz heavier, and I am 5ft 10. It can be done... BTW I am bidding on some VBAC hypnobirthing CDs on ebay ATM. I have also ordered the Ina May Gaskill book that Neenz suggested.

Sorry for those with work/identity woes. I realised during my degree that further study would really not suit me, but I have residual sadness that I haven't used my intellectual talents in my career, and now I am a SAHM with a career that I wouldn't especially want to go back to. I am actually quite envious of Essie and AH for having followed their talents. If that makes sense. I would like to feel that I have made a contribution to something, but I don't.

AH my DH definitely not into bikes. He can't actually ride a bike properly, nor can he swim . Apparently on the street where he grew up the kids were into roller skating.

Rolf hope your tummy bug clears up. I hate having workmen in my house.

Essie We are thinking of a VW Passat estate. My mate from NCT has one. We could end up with matching cars.

essie that was totally sympathy - I think our situations are far too similar. I might apply for another job too - but it's full time and I'm not willing to work full time and again the work's not as interesting as my old job (but the pay is better....) I'm resurrecting the notion of fulfilling volunteer work again for a non profit actually using my skills...

essie (again, but different topic) i wish DH wore shirts enough that I could make a quilt out of his old ones. He can get away with being very very scruffy at work though and generally does. I have to bin his old shirts once they are too ragged behind his back.

My DH loves VWs - but had to settle for the zafira financially. Someday...

spider DS1 was < 7lbs and Fraser was 9lbs exactly but their head circumference was the same and the 2nd time around was much much easier.