FEB 2010 Valentines, pancakes and BABIES!!

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Here it is, then - the post natal thread for the Feb 2010 gang - let the poo/bf/nappy rash/sleeplessness/crying

OMG whatdoIdonow!! conversations commence...

bearcrumble strong coffee!! Sorry you've had such a bad night. It will get better, promise!

Focusing on things that make me smile this morning... dd2 seems totally fascinated by our black cast iron bed and pale yellow walls (nice contrast) and will stare wide eyed. dd1 had a thing about curtains and pot plants... makes you wonder what goes through their little heads.
Minor moan; dd1 (2 3/4) has taken to changing her clothes every hour or so and in the process empties out both wardrobe and cubboard. Then her baby doll needs changing too, so she goes through the drawer of baby clothes to find something suitable. I try to see the fun in it but it can drive me nuts. We also have a running debate on where the baby is 'allowed' to be ie. moses basket, cot, bouncy chair, pram, under playgym... because usually the baby doll urgently needs to be in the same place! I've made it clear to dd2 that I am not prepared to wake a sleeping baby so that the doll can have the moses basket!
As I'm typing this it makes me laugh, but by the end of a long day I really begin to lose my temper. Better go - too quiet in dd1's room, so I'll better see which clothes she has chosen now. We've had two changes already today and a tantrum over breakfast because I dared to cut her toast in two!

Terrible twos AND a newborn, BG!! Yes, a sense of humour must be vital in your situation! Sounds like you're coping well, though.

Last night was better as my mum took DD until 0100, giving me and DH a couple of hours of uninterrupted kip. Got a bit more between 0330 and 0530, then a bit more between 0600 and 0700 - a touch under 5 hours, all told.

DD has got to the stage when she's much more engaged when she's awake, she gazes at things that catch her eyes, including our faces, which is heart-melting. No proper smiles yet, but not looking far off.

She's also changed her sling preference, now wanting the tummy to tummy position, rather than the cradle hold. Sleeps brilliantly like that.

Ah. Just got liberally vommed. Time to go and clean up methinks.

Just tried to estimate how much dd2 weighs now at 7 wks (she was last weighed at 4 wks - they don't bother much with second babies around here) and put myself and then me and baby on the scales... Only to notice I've put on 2 kg since having her . Erm, must be my serious biscuit habit...

Sunnybump my breastfeeding lady suggested fennel tea (for me not Poppy ) to help with wind. I've only been having a cup on an evening but it seems to be helping.

Just got back from Poppy's first imms, I cried more than she did! We've got calpol and a syringe on standby in case she needs it but she seems okay for now.

She now weighs 9lb 13oz, she'll be twice her birthweight soon!

Nice to know that everyone having same issues re no sleep / exploding poo and projectile vomiting - at 4am it can seem very lonely (esp with DH snoring away in bed!)

Anyone still getting pain while BF? It seemed to get a bit better for me after about 2 weeks but is still quite painful. Makes me wince when DS latches on (which sometimes takes a while!) and then hurts when he is feeding although not as much. Could he be latching wrongly? I've been looking at him sucking and sometimes he only has the nipple in his mouth and a teeny bit of the areola. Any tips on getting him to latch better?

On the plus side he has put on 1lb 9oz in the 3 weeks since he was born so is now 9lbs 10oz - so is obviously getting enough milk. Just wish it didn't hurt so much - sometimes I feel like jacking it all in and switching to formula just to give my poor battered boobs a rest! So any tips gratefully received!

Another first time Mummy question - how long after the birth should you wait till you resume "relations" (ahem!) with DH / DP? I only had a 1st degree tear and no stitches and I think the tear and some abrasions have healed. I want to wait a bit longer until my lochia stops but was just wondering is there a rule like to wait till the 6 week check up at the GPs? Or is it just when you feel up to it?

Sorry to sound so clueless but I know that I can get some good advice from all of you ladies!

Tinker, is there a breastfeeding cafe or something near you as sounds like you could do with someone checking your latch. Make sure your DS has a big wide mouth when you put him to the boob. You tube has some good videos might be worth a look.

As for marital relations as soon as you feel up to it. i reccomend lots of lubrication and take it really slow.

I think i have had a period!!! had def ovulation pains a few days and bleeding today. thought this breastfeeding malarky was meant to stop all that?

tinkerbug I was pretty clueless first time round regarding 'relations' and by the time I thought it was 'allowed', ie, six weeks, I got a period and had to delay.
Bit more relaxed (and less sore actually) second time round and shocked dh with being keen quite soon (3ish wks)
Just go with what you feel like, and like raindrop said, use lubrication and take it slow to see if it feels okay. Oh, and just make sure you think about contraception, too... My mum had my older brother and sister 10 1/2 months apart . You do the maths...

On the marital relations front, I'm very proud that we gave it a go last week (this sounds pathetic as DD2 is now six weeks, but last time it took seven months to pluck up the courage due to the third degree tear and associated problems, which went on for a year). Poor DH was deprived for my last trimester due to the SPD, so we were both up for it. But I can support the suggestion that lubrication may be needed!

Am terribly embarrassed that I've typed all that so am going to hit post message before I revert to my usual very private form and press delete instead.

Oh - relations.

This subject came up the other night.

Errmmm... when the hell do you find the time/energy?!

Can someone please tell me the difference between degress of tears?

Thanks!

Don't think any of you mentioned this type but thought I'd put this on antway... www.telegraph.co.uk/health/children_shealth/7511718/One-million-baby-slings-recalled-after-li nks-to-infant-deaths.html

Re tears, no idea. Think first degree is quite superficial and often needs no stitches. Second degree a bit more trouble with stitches and third degree very nasty with major stitching,,,
I had an episiotomy first time (did NOT consent!) and healed fine. Minor internal stitches (I had no idea there were different sites for tears..) second time, again no problems.

3 weeks for DH and I, but did have CS so no tears etc to worry about, but was careful about incision stitches. Basically snatched 15 minutes here and there when DD is asleep - DH doesn't seem to be too bothered by the lochia but it hasn't been too heavy.

Don't panic about the slings - it was a particular type of "pocket sling" that had been badly designed. other wraps, rings, pouches, ergos, etc should all be fine (provided they are used sensibly, obviously!)

Fennel Tea AC - think I shall dispatch DH on a mission for that as well...

5 weeks here for 'relations' , but then was told by the gp that I'll have to have a pregnancy test before they'll put the coil in . I had told her that we were careful, but maybe she thinks Poppy wasn't planned?

Having said that my sister is only 11 months younger than me so that means my mum would have been pregnant when I was the same age as Poppy is now, what a thought

Thanx for reassuring me about leaving Poppy, I knew it wasn't a reflection on my mothering skills that I want a little time off, I guess it's just another thing to worry about...

IC it's nicer with a little honey in it.

Thanks for the honey tip, AC!

On the subject of sling safety again, it didn't take much Googling to find examples of tragedies involving prams and strollers, so I think issuing any kind of general warning about slings (especially given the numbers quoted in the article) should not be taken as a general scare - just a reminder that, as with everything, it's important to be aware of the safety aspects when using baby equipment at all times.

Last night I suggested my husband sleep on the sofa to get a full night's sleep. I thought I was being very kind and thoughtful so I was pissed off when I asked him how he felt in the morning to get the answer "I've got a stiff neck" he also said he still felt tired despite sleeping from 11pm to 9.30am.

I only had one big wake-up last night but it was a mammoth one with loads of feeds, grizzling and poos. 2am until 5.30 but then I slept until 9 so I don't feel too bad today. I think I'd rather have it like this than multiple wakings - it is the intial blurry 'oh fuck' bit that I hate the most.

I had a Premaxx sling which is a bag-style one so we're not using it any more. I was always less of a fan of it than my husband, mainly because you can't see the baby's face when using it, unless you pull back the fabric and peer in.

I bought a snot sucker! It's an electric one if you please. It seems to work really well. Here's a link to the amazon page - www.amazon.co.uk/Dr-Bee-Electronic-Nasal-Aspirator/dp/B002M4GCTU

We haven't resumed 'relations' yet, although my husband did say something the other day about letting him know should I be feeling sexy. It's nearly 6 weeks since my caesarian. I've got my 6 week check on Monday. I've just been too tired although I have felt the odd faint stirring in that direction. I feel a bit odd about doing it with the baby in the room too, even though I know he'd be obvlivious.

How often do you bath your babies? I only do it twice a week - does this make me a slattern? We had a go at giving him a bit of a massage afterwards, using pharmacy-bought olive oil (I thought you could use any old olive oil but the HV said not to use the one we have for cooking - God knows why. But this is the same HV that said breastfed babies don't need burping so I should probably have just used the oil out of the kitchen cupboard). He didn't seem to enjoy it that much. We had yelling and a bit of a poop so I decided not to turn him over and do his back.

Have any of you tried 'tummy time' news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/5128144.stm yet? Is it too early to start now?

On the bath note, I was wondering if I was being slatternly too....DD gets a bath about every 3 days, but she has a lot of dark hair (and I mean A LOT, an inch and a half long at the back, down to her eyebrows at the front, people have stopped me in the street about it and everything) and it looks a bit greasy-looking sometimes so I try to wash it most days (and it looks so sweet when it's all fluffy after a bath).
Hoping to start some sort of bath, bottle, bed routine in the next week or two...not sure how that will go?!
She's started waking at 11pm-ish, 3am-ish and 7am-ish so she seems to be finding her own routine, which suits me. I'm tired, but not exhausted.

She's 5 weeks tomorrow - where does the time go?

Our bath routine has gone out of the window with dd2. DD1 had a bath almost every night at this age mainly because she adored it. DD2 has been screaming the house down the first few times, and with two children I simply didn't have the nerve. The first few weeks she was lucky to get a bath once a week, now she's calmed down a bit about the whole thing it's maybe twice a week. I guess it also has do with dd1 being a summer baby and dd2 a winter baby, and our house being the typical Victorian cold drafty terrace....

Degress of tears - what is that I wonder?

Thanks - I had five stitches but zero pain and tbh I never really examined the area to see where they were - just washed scrupulously many times a day. If I hadn't been told I was being stitched I would never have known that I had torn! I have my six week check on Monday so will find out how it is all progressing down there and hopefully relations will resume.

I also start my 're-education' in ten days - not entirely sure what that will entail but will find out.

Re bathing - I do it every night as part of a bedtime routine and it really helps me. I would love to bathe DD about twice a week as our water is so hard and she's not really grubby but it breaks up the evening cluster feed nicely and she really seems to understand bedtime (not sure if that is possible at 6 weeks old). She also loves the bath.

We went to Paris this afternoon - a bit of a nightmare. How does anyone get out and about!?

Much better night last night - been giving DD the digestion mix they dish out here for windy babies and it might just be working. She was able to break wind without waking up, which suggests it was at a more manageable level - or she might just be getting accustomed to the sensation I guess. Had a cup of the digest stuff myself - rather pleasant, basically extracts of chamomile, fennel and anise with a little sugar. Figured it might help make my milk less flatulence-producing - you never know!

Still not what you'd call a massive sleep, but better - just as well, had big tearful melt-downs yesterday because of exhaustion. DH gave me a full body massage to chill me out, bless him!

Got the tummy breathing monitor thing, btw - excellent! I heard the little vibrator go last night (goes off if no movement for 15 secs) and it didn't disturb her, but kept her breathing nicely on track. Very reassuring! Here it is, if you're interested

I bath DS every day or 2 days. He loves it and it gives us some fun time. Bath time is during the morning but I'll change it to evening before going to the nursery (in July so I have a few months to organise myself).

I have done belly time since we came back from hospital, on the mw advice. Some day DS likes it, some days he doesn't. We do it either on his playmat or on ourselves.

We still haven't had any 'relations' many because we are both knackered! But hopefully as soon as my periods are over. I started the contraceptive pill 4 weeks after DS birth.

Going back to work in 2 weeks, but going to go in the mornings only for the first couple of weeks. DH is going to look after her but I'm getting cold feet. Anyone else also going back to work soon (or already back at work)?

Would love to trade tips on how to juggle BF-ing, expressing and work.

At the moment we're trying to get her to take the bottle as we followed advice not to let her bottle feed until after 6 weeks. Now she resists it slightly, despite taking to it in the first few weeks of birth when my milk had not come in. Wish we had kept on with giving her a bottle feed every day instead of skipping a few weeks.

On the bath routine... We bath DD every day as we've incorporated it into her bedtime routine and she loves it. Now she's in bed around 7pm. She resists sleeping most of the day, and gets overtired so it's nice to have a "reset" button every day so that we can start anew in the morning. Even when she's crying, she stops when having a bath, so that's some respite.

We've started trying to get her to sleep at least 4 hours a day over 2-3 naps. Not easy though. She loves being carried, any tips on what slings to use? I have a Moby Wrap but find it takes a long time to put on, esp when she's crying

We bath DD every other day - haven't yet fixed on a routine time for it. She likes it, but isn't so keen on the getting dressed part afterward. DH usually does it - it's really sweet watching them.

Racking up the sleep now!! Yesterday DD napped beautifully between feeds - one or two hours or more at a time (which takes her over the usual 40mins sleep cycle wake-up time) - in the pram, in the sling (that was a really long one), in the pram again and being cuddled by my mum. She then went for her longest overnight without waking: 00:00 - 04:30 - then 40 mins until 7 when wind woke her up, quick snack (and a vomit) then back to sleep until 09:30. Fantastic! I'll enjoy it while it lasts...

My mum's just gone home after a week with us - at the beginning of the week DD was a spotty, windy non-sleeping infant, now she's a happily snoozing cherub. Mum mainly offered an extra pair of hands (although she had a good relaxing-while-winding technique and resurrecting the pram as a nap space was her idea), but I think maybe she sprinkled a little magic around too.

Wrap sling here, sunangel - I've found you get faster at putting it on and can even put it on while holding the baby with a little practice. Or you can put it on before you need it so it's all ready when you want to put the baby in... But I'm sure others will have recommendations of alternatives... Have you checked out the sling/backpacks forum here on MN?

IC I like the look of that breathing monitor. I have to say I'm a nervous kind of person anyway, and what with A being 5 weeks early, I think that's something that would help with my general paranoia.

We went out for our first proper long walk with the pram yesterday, six days after his official due date. It was really nice to get out and stretch my legs - we went to Dulwich Village and had lunch in the big pub there, I had a very tasty steak, onion and rocket sandwich. Some woman hit my pram with hers quite hard and then went on to ram into someone else's chair. I was slightly pissed off.

Last night wasn't too bad. For the evening feed I expressed so my husband could feed him which was quite nice.

The night before he decided to cluster feed like a maniac and I lost it a bit - had a cry and kept saying "what am I supposed to do?" after four hours of non-stop feeding and burping.

It is mad to think that many babies of his gestation are still inside their mums and yet I've had him for nearly 6 weeks.

I obviously am a a slattern as regards bathing. I will start doing it every other day.