May Toddlers - still toddling along!

[helsy]

Oi! Over 'ere!

I'm using my sick leave well and have just booked a holiday in Oban - we're going to see Balamory and sea eagles, hopefully.

I would love something like that for DD. Feel she really needs to get as much experience of chilling out with other children as possible in preparation for siblinghood! Am rather freaking out about her in advance of new baby, because she and I spend so much (lovely) time together and it seems so terribly cruel to be bringing in a totally helpless, unknown new person who needs to be attached to my breast for hours at a time... I am fretting about the trauma for her and the stress for me in equal measure.
Am trying to 'prepare her' for the arrival. She knows there s a baby on my tummy but she thinks there's one in her tummy too! Of course she does. She also thinks she has bosoms. 'Dats Lauriebosom' she says slapping her breastbone. Oh grief and misery, she and I are one and the same in her mind... what am I doing???

What's wrong with the park Egypt? Are you being a very protective mummy.?

Spots - she's only 1. She's very adaptable. I would suggest that your new little one arrives complete with a baby doll for DD to be a mummy to, preferably with comparable paraphenalia as well.

Hello. All back to normal then. Dd1 went back to nursery yesterday -she's in a new room now, 18 - 24 months. I feel as though my baby is going away from me!
She's eating really well now - we all eat together fairly often which is great. DH makes a real effort to get home at a decent time especially the days I'm working, and I think it's improved dd1's eating to have us all eating with her.
Egypt, is it the park you're worried about?
Spots she'll be fine - she'll have someone else to love too and it's great when they can play (and fight!)together. A baby doll is a nice idea.

DH had a mid-life crisis on Saturday night but he's better now - now I'm having one!

Oh no Helsy. What's the midlife crisis about? I keep thinking DH might have one but he's probably a bit young, although you never know. Are you sure it's not January blues?

Mid-life crisis - seems to be about whether we could have done more with our lives - feeling of underachieving, that kind of thing. I just have to look at the girls and it goes away, but it comes back again when I'm hoovering rice up off the floor or trying to find a Polly Pocket handbag down the back of the sofa before dd2 finds it and eats it(they're miniscule).
Quite fancy a second career, though - something completely different. And a house in Italy. And a flat in London. And long legs . Anyway, that's NOTHING to do with May toddlers!

Hi,
We must all be busy at the moment as the threads gone quiet.

DD is getting more and more talkative. In fact she is hardly ever quiet. We can understand a lot more of what she says. She's also learnt to count to 5 and you can ask her 'how many' and shell count them. Shes refusing to go in her buggy and insists on walking. Yesterday she mustve walked a good 2 miles.
hope everyone is well.

bloody hell kbaby. your dd is certainly the little einstein of the group. could she perhaps pop round and sort out our finances?!

i wasn't too fussed about the park to start with until my mum blatantly said it would be stupid of me to take her to that playgroup! i guess she imagines complete strangers lurking around and nabbing her. the park is fences off around the little kids area but there IS the chance that that could happen. yes i know, i am paranoid. but it's a public park, not like a locked playground. anyway, 2 others to check out first. then there is the school. our catchment school is my 2nd favourite. the other i would need to apply for. better get cracking.

DS used to go on trips to the park from nursery. TBH it didn't cross my mind to be concerned about it.

DD is getting better at walking kbaby and also quite good at holding the pushchair when she wants to. But then if she starts getting silly and I have to put her back in its a major fight.

She is lovely but a bit of a primadonna. Yesterday she wanted to wear her favourite red fleece jumper but I wouldn't let her because it is bobbly and so kept for nursery. I chose her a new top and some cords. She had a strop and laid on the floor kicking her legs while I dressed her. The top turned out to be too big. Then she spotted her favourite cardigan (quite a nice stripy angora one from Monsoon in the sale). So I put her on a white t-shirt and pinafore to wear under it. But she had another major strop because I took off her socks and put on tights. Then another because she wanted to wear a little cord jacket to walk to school instead of a decent, warm coat.

Today she was all smiles because I let her wear the red fleece jumper - until I insisted she wear a warm coat in case she plays out at nursery.

oh they are so funny!

yes i hadnt considered trips. i wouldnt have a problem with that! i guess it's just that it is everyday. and me being a teacher and all! i guess i just know how you can't watch that many children all the time.

dd currently thumping around the kitchen in her nappy and my size 5 brown suede hushpuppies!

what a picture

bozza it sounds as if youve got your hands full.
DD is having little tantrums also. She keeps hitting you or throwing things in temper. I dont know how harsh to be when I tell her off or if shes the right age to start the naughty step.
Most of them seem to be over hairwashing, wearing a coat, sitting in a buggy and cbeebies being turned off. She has to be watching a fair amount of tv at mil as she named on sunday Justin and the clown from Something Special!
I feel a chat with MIL coming on.

Hello,

They're all coming along nicely, by the sounds of it.

Dd2 has been hitting dd1 (to be fair, she is being provoked a LOT), and DH told her to go and stand in the corner when she did it a couple of weeks ago. I said she was too young to be sent in the corner (it's not a corner, just the other end of the living room for time out) so he didn't do it again, but now she does it herself! She smacks dd2, shakes her head and wags her finger, walks off into the corner for a bit then comes back and kisses dd2 . She loves walking, too. She has lots of words but not more than two together yet. She's just got over a bout of gastroenteritis and is still a bit clingy. She also walks round our bedroom in the mornings pointing to everything in the room and identifying who it belongs to. I've taken a lot of snaps of her recently, just doing what she does.
If yours won't eat tea, do you give them something else or send them to bed with no tea? I've been giving yoghurt, fruit, bread because I don't want her to be hungry but that's not really the same as a meal.

hmm i have the same question helsy. i spose you should just take away what you've given them and thry'll soon learn that that is all there is, but dd refused her dinner tonight (had found the quavers before tea) but ate her yogurt and half a bar of milk chocolate, so that's not much of a good example!

dd's friend's nursery puts her in time out and she's a may baby.

I have used the step with DD two or three times. She kind of gets the principle because of DS. I also make her say sorry and give a kiss for hitting - that's as much for DS's benefit though. I think you have to insist on some things but kind of take their point of view as well. DD so much wants to be a big girl and the same as everyone else so I try to take that into account. I let her use a metal spoon and fork like DS. The other day she was devestated, with tears rolling down her face because I had cut her sausages up but no-one else's. Luckily we had a spare that I could give her. Same thing happened when I took her jacket potato out of the skin.

I do have a bit of an issue with the tea thing. I can be quite calm about breakfast and lunch but it's the overnight thing. We are also having problems with DS at mealtimes so DH and I are going to come up with a strategy tonight. I will report back.

I still have problems with DD and eating too. And it's always the evening meal that's the problem: think the 'sit-down' element still doesn't suit DD. I think I might try giving her something deathly dull that I know she will reliably eat, like a bit of bread and butter or a scoop of beans, and a small amount of what we're having just so she can take or leave that but not get the impression that great stones are being overturned to accomodate her foibles. I am confident that she is getting enough nutrients etc. during the day, albeit in a bit-and-carry sort of way. I just would like to get her happily accustomed to family sit-down meals without the headache of food discipline. We always have yoghurt for pudding, so no great exotic bribes there!

Bozza I can see that the example of your ds makes a big difference to DD's general discipline. I wouldn't feel it was quite right to do the naughty step unless I was sure they understood entirely what it was 'for'. And I wouldn't be confident of that at this age unless they had seen it in action. I suppose as much as anything it reinforces the message that you're giving to the older one?

Last para is spot on Spots! Thats also partially why I make DD say sorry and give kiss. Kiss began before she was able to say sorry though.

DD is very big on getting as many of DS's priveleges as she can, so also have to do the other way. She has only been on the step 3 times I think.

Well, she had a jar tonight otherwise she wouldn't have eaten until 7 , and she wolfed it down! I know what you mean about doing disciplinary things for the older child's benefit - that's why we're so clear about unacceptable behaviour, even though dd2 looks as if she hasn't a clue what we're talking about!
2 days off tomorrow and friday - just me and dd2. Bliss. Daytime tv, cleaning, playing and pottering.

Ah but has she really not got a clue, helsy? DD sometimes surprises me with what she has worked out. She was being cute this morning as well. She spotted her swimming costume in the pile of clean laundry and said "swim swim" and started doing breaststroke movements with her arms.

Right new plan for meals. We will encourage them to eat one bite of everything on their plate. If they do this (and I am hoping that they will usually because neither is actually genuinely fussy)they will get fruit. If they clear their plate (and we will not chivvy) they will also get some sort of sweet option - probably a chocolate coin as we still have vast supplies. I will cook a semi-OK pudding (eg rice pudding, semolina, stewed fruit and custard) once a week.

wow lots going on with everyone! aren't they being a hand full lately?!
ds is also having tantrums lately. and VERY clingy (mummy - mummy - mummy here! all day long!). and so easily frustrated with just everything and anything! - we tend to ignore the big tears stroppy tantrums and about a couple of minutes into it i ask him if he's done and if we could do something nice instead; mostly it works
his talking amazes me every day!! lately he refers to himself by his name
and he takes your hand and pulls you to where he wants you to go with him.
but the one i like most is when caitlin is on my lap and he wants to sit with me he goes 'caitlin daddy - gugas up!'

we've booked our holiday - finally!! we can't wait really!! we all are so worn out!
woheyyy 2 weeks at the end of february - 1 week skiing and then another week to see my family

re eating: ds also tends to eat less than usual. but then again he used to eat loooooads.
i've been told they won't starve themselves and if they need more they will eat more.
i normally don't give in and give him something different if he doesn't eat much. there was only that one time when he had mushroom soup and it was very obvious that he genuinly doesn't like it! - normally for dinner he also had a joghurt for pudding. even that he refuses lately

• he does have milk though before he goes to bed and if he wants a second cup he'll get that one too. and oh yessss, self feeding it is getting better though and let's say 80% does actually land in his mouth instead of head, floor, walls, highchair, mummy ... and for mealtimes i encourage him to drink of a normal cup - he loves it and is getting fairly good with it now - only sometimes he gets overexcited and gets soaked

re time out: we do sit him down when he hits. we first tell him why in simple words and sit him down. facing away from us and holding his arms lightly - for 1,5 minutes. lots of tears and struggles but mostly he doesn't even attempt to get up! then i ask him to get up and face me and explain it again and ask him to say sorry and give me a cuddle. and to whoever he hit of course. - i have to say when i only threaten to sit him down he stops immediatly - mean mummy! i know

I am using chocolate pennies to get DS to sit in his pram when we need to race to pre school. Now he gets in, looks at me and says hopefully "more dotlat penny?"

Not long to wait til your holiday Susi. We have booked 2 weeks in France at the end of August and while I am quite excited about it, it is ages away. Am now in the quandry about whether DD will need a travel cot or not.

On the food thing I think that as along as she is not over-tired DD eats quite well. Tonight she tucked into a good plateful of mushroom and parmesan risotto and followed this with a bowl of semolina. But she had had a two hour nap. Last night she didn't eat a scrap of her tea and it was standard food that I know she likes - even mash which she loves. She had only had half hour nap and been swimming.

I tend to be wuite strict at meal times. I give DD her dinner, If she doesnt eat it and its something new then I assume she didnt like it and offer a alternative but if its a normal favorite and she doesnt eat it, then she doesnt get anything. To be honest if she doesnt eat anything before bed it doesnt wake her up more often than normal but in the morning shes ready for breakfast. She is generally a good eater so we dont get too many problems. She sits at her own table and when I say dinner is ready she runs and gets her chair and table to take in the living room.

I forgot to add That she fell down the stairs yesterday top to bottom. We have wooden stairs.

She likes walking down them and counting the stairs so we hold her hand and she holds the rail. But yesterday as I went to hold her hand she leant forward at the same time to hold the rail and lost her balance. It was horrible as I couldnt grab her and just watched her tumble down. She was crying and I was shaking. Shes grazed her lip but after a cry and a biscuit seemed ok. I think because she forward and side rolled down it broke the fall.
What a heartstopping moment though. It made me realise how lucky we had been.

Oh how awful kbaby. I've been there with DD (she fell down the stairs in May and we spent a night in hospital for observation) and that flying down the stairs after them is horrible. When I got to the bottom and picked DD up I was shaking.

I think your approach on the food is good. And I think you're right about bedtime as well. I am going to try and be more philosophical about it all. Off to a party shortly with DD - it's next door but one. DS is poorly though - cough and high temps. I'm hoping it's not tonsilitis.

that is scary kbaby. we had a bit of a hair-raising moment on thursday with my friend's little boy. he's 23 months. myself and my friend with the 2 kiddies were walking in the park near our house. my friend's ds ran ahead on the path which was curving up a hill, when out of nowhere came a sportscar, hurtling down the hill towards him at about 50 mph. we started running like mad towards him and the car, waving our arms like lunatics. this car JUST noticed in time and came to a pretty abrupt halt. it was one of those shocking dreamlike moments where you dont think its reality. the woman in the car just kind of rolled her eyes and smiled, as though saying 'kids!' aaaaanyway, her ds was fine! didnt even notice really.