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NOV 09 - once the lights are out and the last baby has arrived safe and fine, see you here on cloud nine!

1001 replies

Broodzilla · 13/11/2009 16:11

I've just realized we're now under the "being a parent" header. I've got stage freight!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
scarlotti · 25/11/2009 17:11

comma I will be forever correcting people's pronunciation of Ioan's name as we don't live in Wales. I still think it's worth it though as that's the name I chose.

weston was me speaking about the 5 hour thing - funnily enough I've been waking him today every 3 hours and am trying to fill him to the brim! Great that you get from 12-6, that's a very good stretch. I wouldn't rock the boat personally - maybe she's just got her cranky phase at 10 for now. Am sure it will change over the next while.

Ioan will fall asleep while feeding, I tend to have to change him halfway through just to get a good feed in him.
fruit I half co-sleep - I put him down in his hammock at the start of the night and he has a dummy to settle him whilst he drops off. I feed laying down (most of the time as it's a little tricky!) during the night and if we both drop off then so be it. When I wake, I put him back in his bed. I sleep better if he's not there and I want him to get used to it. I have to say the hammock has been a hit right from day 1, he loves it.

I've bought a magazine with a free sleep book by Gina Ford in it today - should there be any wisdom in it then I will impart later!! That's if I get a spare bit of time to read it of course!!

Anyone else already with kids feeling as though you're coping ok ... and worrying that it might be a false feeling? I had pnd with DS1 but this time I feel like I'm managing ok and am being realistic with the amount of stuff I can get done etc. Is this the calm before the storm do you think ... or might I get away with it this time?

scarlotti · 25/11/2009 17:15

Erika you'll have to convert that to old money for us oldies on the thread!! Great that she was pleased and discharged you all ok.
Ioan went from 9lb8oz, down to 9lb3.5oz then back up to a whopping 10lb on Monday (day 15). No worries about whether he's getting enough milk am so pleased as that was my one major thing I wanted to sort this time around.

BeckyBendyLegs · 25/11/2009 17:25

Hi guys, sounds like we are all feeling more or less the same: overwhelemed, emotional, happy, loved-up on baby love, tired, etc, etc. I find I just have zero energy for anything outside of the house and Toby: tonight they are turning on the Christmas lights in town and I can't face getting everyone, including Toby, coated, shoed, and out in the cold dark night. I feel bad because DS1 would love to see the Christmas lights turned on. Perhaps it takes a while to recover from giving birth in addition to the tiredness of broken nights. I just have this urge to stay at home and nest. I feel like I could really do without Christmas this year but that sounds so bad! I just want it to be a nice, quiet one. I do need to get on and do the present shopping though: I've made a spreadsheet so far.

BeckyBendyLegs · 25/11/2009 17:27

PS Scarlotti we thought of Ianto for a name, which is also Welsh (and there's a Ianto in Dr Who). DH is Welsh but in the end Toby just looked like a Toby rather than an Ianto.

helips · 25/11/2009 19:14

Fruitpastels I am sort of co-sleeping too but never intended to! dd starts off in her crib (Ive got one with the missing side that you mentioned) but when I feed lying down in the night we normally both nod off and I wake up in the morning with her snuggled against me. It is lovely but I too worry about her getting too used to it. Mind you, think she will be my last baby so will indulge her!

Ooh better go, dd just woken up and needs feeding, wanted to say more but better run! Hope everyones ok...

Comma2 · 25/11/2009 21:29

Scarlotti true, I don't know how to say Ioan, but I know whichever way you say it, it's going to be gorgeous.
Also, if you are feeling good, you'll be okay I bet.

Thanks guys, makes me feel better and I'll stick with Esme.

Ursi it's funny, isn't it. I say my name german pronounciation too, I get blank stares. Do the english r and I get an ahaaa! (and wrong spelling).

The kids are much better today. DD1 gives baby lots of kissis and keeps putting her own personal (very personal) rabbit on the baby's belly. not a single 'accidental' whack at baby today.

I cosleep too, can't manage otherwise! I think it's too early to worry about the dependence thing. DD1 was transeferred to crib at 6 weeks and was fine. I don't think the brain of a 2-week old can catch that sort of thing yet? Only very few neurons in there.

Fruitpastels · 25/11/2009 22:18

I'm glad I asked the question about co-sleeping. I never bf DS1 so its new territory for me. I do feel I get much more sleep than I did with DS1. I will just go with the flow and see where it takes us.

I'm off to bed before he wakes up for his midnight feast! I expressed some milk tonight for the first time and hope to start putting him on a bottle of expressed milk for his last feed of the night and DH can do this feed. There is such conflicting advice on when to start expressing. Anyone else expressing yet?

ursigurke · 26/11/2009 08:19

Fruitpastels, I'm not yet expressing as I have heard you should wait until 6 weeks to not confuse them in the normal bf sucking.
Tonight I only had to feed her at 9 and then at 4! and at 6 and 8. I woke up at 2 or 3 already and she was moving a lot and making strange noises. I used to take her out and feed her when she did that but since a couple of nights I'm only stroking her belly as it calms her down and I wait until she is really awake to feed her. But now I wonder if I was waiting too long (as I fell asleep again)

BeckyBendyLegs · 26/11/2009 08:50

Urisgurke that's brilliant! I think you did the right thing, that means she's sleeping a nice long stretch at night so is obviously better able to cope longer at night, which is what you want. DS2 slept through at 8 weeks, which at the time I thought was incredibe but I didn't used to feed him at night unless he was obviously awake and hungry and he gradually lasted longer and longer (DS1 was about 14 weeks - and only then when he had gastric flu).

Toby slept well last night too: 9pm-1.30am and awake then again 5.30am so I feel much brighter today. We're taking him to be registered today. I must get dressed before he stirs. Oh how the world looks so much better on a reasonable night's sleep?

I've been looking back on my emails to DH at work from when I had DS2 and was looking after a 2-year old DS1 and they make interesting reading. I'd forgotten how challenging those early days were coping with a toddler and a new born.

scarlotti · 26/11/2009 10:42

Fruit I express although not regularly. The only risk with it is that it sends a signal to your body to make more milk, but not as much as baby feeding. The NCT counsellor said it's like requesting half a feed.
The whole thing about waiting is that some babies get nipple confusion and you don't know in advance which ones do and don't. We use the odd bottle now and Ioan is fine, I also use a dummy to get him off to sleep or settle him in the day. He seems to cope with the different shapes ok so I'd say it's down to your baby.
I do find the first feed after the bottle can take a little longer to latch on, but once he's on we're well away. We do it so DH can do a feed too.

Ursi great news on your night!!! I remember with the other DC's how I still used to wake up for a few days at the old time so I hope your body adjusts quickly so you benefit from the extra sleep
How old is Paula now? I've been reading this free sleep book I got with the magazine and it suggests that night feeding moves back from about 2/3am to about 3/4 am at 4 to 6 weeks so it would be interesting if Paula is around the 4 week mark now. Might make me aim to get into the routine a bit quicker.
Do I remember correctly in that you have a routine for Paula at night?

We have a school visit for DS1 today as he's due to start next September. School places are a nightmare here as there aren't enough for all the children so it's quite a stressful situation. This one we're seeing is just over the road and very good so I'm really hoping we can get him in there. Just have to decide now whether to take Ioan in the pram or the sling!

ursigurke · 26/11/2009 11:02

scarlotti, Paula is three weeks and 1 day. Yes, she used to be quite regular at night, every three hours. And then it seemed as the first one got longer and the last ones shorter and shorter. Don't know if tonight was a one time thing or if she is going to longer intervals.
I agree on you that it will depend on the baby if she is getting confused by bottle/breast. I'm already googling the different pumps to buy one soon but I think we are going to wait for the 6 weeks mark. Paula is definitely getting enough milk but she does sometimes weird (and very funny) things when latching on so I guess she might get confused if I tried to early (and there is no "need" to express at the moment)

maman2tom · 26/11/2009 13:08

fruitpastels i'm starting on bottles this weekend. I've got some formula for the first bottle or so whilst i remember how to express. I waited till 6 weeks with DS1 and it was a total nightmare getting him to have a bottle. I don't think he took a bottle at home until about 5/6 months! So this time round i'm starting at 3 weeks! Anyway fingers crossed that all goes well as it was really stressful last time around

comma you've reassured me that i'm not alone with doubts about babys name. we chose an easy international name which is pronounced the same in french and english ( i really hate that no one in france calls me by my english name!) But when i tell french people babys nme i get the blanck stare too! I mean come on it's dan its not that hard... shortned version of daniel! I mean not as if i called him sparrow like nicole ritchie (hope no one on here as dc called spzrrow or i'm in real trouble!)

wook · 26/11/2009 15:04

Fruitpastels and Helips I am co- sleepng too, albeit a bit warily. Hedy just seems to want to be close all the time, far more than ds ever did. I have bought one of those moby sling things today in the hope that I may be able to get off the couch and DO STUFF if I wear her close to me- as it is now, if I put her down anywhere she wakes or cries almost straight away- even going to the loo is an epic feat!

Went to bf support this morning and was given some very helpful advice. There is a brilliant counsellor here, not an annoying hippy at all- although she does wield a knitted boob! Am so pleased I went, just a couple of small adjustments make so much difference.

Put some more photos of Hedy on fbook page ealier- am in danger of becoming a super baby bore, and she's not even my pfb!

maman and comma people are super miffed by the name Hedy- am starting to fear for her in later life, every time she introduces herself she'll be met with bafflement if my experiences are anything to go by!

Has anyone got any advice/sympathy for the following complaints?:
-piles and swelling
-addiction to Quality Street
-2 stone to lose
-a ds or dd who is showing sibling rivalry by refusing to go to sleep
-having two weeks to make a Joseph costume
-green poo (baby)
-no patience with dh/dp even though he is being really supportive?
-annoying relatives?

BeckyBendyLegs · 26/11/2009 16:13

Wook you've stolen my list!

DS1 did the refuse to sleep thing when DS2 was born. He'd get out of bed and we'd find him asleep on his bedroom floor! It lasted a couple of weeks...

The quality street thing - well can't help there, got the same problem.

Two stone? See above!

My main complaint is just feeling too tired to do anything much. DH goes back to work next week so I am going to have to find some energy somewhere to take DSs to and from school every day.

I have started my Christmas shopping now, albeit online.

ursigurke · 26/11/2009 17:13

wook, difficult list, maybe I have a solution for Quality street: Find something even better and you will be able to give up on them

all my sympathies for those with older children. It must be really hard to never have a moment for oneself.

I know we have already had several recommendations about breast pumps on this thread and it seems to be a very individual thing. I am at the moment not sure if I should go for hand model or an electric one. I think I will express rather occasionally or maybe for one daily feed. So I thought a hand model would be better value for money. I read one revue that it would be easier to start with as electric ones can be really powerful. I find the idea of a "machine" also slightly scary (even if Paula sucks sometimes like a machine) and think something I am "in control" of might be better for me. Or is a hand model just not effective at all? What do the specialists here think?
I quite like the Medela ones, really don't know why. Maybe the name, maybe the slightly odd, oldfashioned colour (must be good quality if they do not have to spend money on design???)

lemontop · 26/11/2009 18:12

wook I have the same situation with Isaac wanting to be held all the time. I've got a sling and it's a lifesaver especially early evening colic time. I think I would've pulled my hair out by now without it. I need to master some way of transferring him from sling in to pram or moses basket though if anyone has any tips.

hobnob57 · 26/11/2009 18:45

I'm not keeping up with things these days, but hope that I will do soon when I'll find out all the answers to my burning questions about stitches, poos and reflux. In the meantime, here's my birth story as promised whilst all the details are still fresh in my head:

In summary, I'm over the moon that I managed to get my VBAC of sorts and that little baby Isla was born calmly and safely, despite being 16 days late! She was a good weight at 8lbs 5oz and is a very placid soul, unlike her sister at the moment. I cannot believe how easy the recovery has been in comparison to last time, and now understand why it doesn't take everyone 3 years to consider doing it all again! Those ladies working their way through the c-section recovery have my full and unreserved sympathies.

As you may know, I had 3 sweeps performed last week on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. From Monday night I was beginning to wake once or twice during the night with strong braxton hicks. I thought nothing of it as this wasn't unusual for me. I had a show on Wednesday morning and rejoiced that something 'normal' was happening. Well, that was about as normal as my labour got.

On Thursday and Friday nights I began to get contractions which melted away into braxton hicks during the day. They came infrequently and irregularly from twice an hour to every 10 minutes. On Saturday night they got properly sore and I had to get up and put my TENS on. I was still unwilling to believe that anything was really happening, so I was reluctant to use my TENS in case I spent days using up the batteries before I went into labour proper! I didn't really sleep that night, but dozed between contractions. Again, they were irregular between 8 and 20 mins apart. In the morning I had 2 huge ones, but again as before, as soon as I got up they eased. I put it down to gravity helping, and got very grumpy that my body wouldn't just get on with it. I tried a walk to the shop to speed things up, and tried to stay on my feet or on the ball when I could. I was going to nap to catch up on kip but then the huge contractions started again as soon as I lay down so I took the easier route of upright and active.

The contractions started hotting up a bit into the evening, so I had a bath and my waters went at 8:30. Cue more rejoicing from me, and flapping from DH. I phoned the midwife unit and they told me they'd give me 96 hours max before induction as a special case with monitoring from the community midwives. I asked what induction after a c-section would involve, and the midwife said she'd check and phone back. When she phoned back she had the unwelcome news that because of my dates, they wanted me in for assessment and that they may start induction that night. I got very annoyed at this, but went along with it in the hope that I could bully my way into the pool as soon as possible, as I was getting contractions every 5-6 minutes by then.

The monitoring showed that baby Isla was in distress. The midwife asked me to lie down to see if that made it any better, which I did reluctantly, knowing how sore the contractions would be. I had a monster one, and her heart rate plummeted and didn't come up again. I got whisked through to labour ward where I was basically told to expect another c-section. I was fine with this, since it was obvious that everything was not ok. The Dr (a parent from school !) examined me, and found to all our surprise that I was 8cm dilated, but that Isla was still high (at station 0). I was taken through to theatre and given a spinal (thank goodness I still had enough time between contractions for the anaesthetist to do his work after I took the TENS off and before the next one!) and examined again and I was fully dilated. They decided to try ventouse and forceps delivery, which I was skeptical of at first given the urgency of the situation. However, after a very calm experience Isla was born in rude health at 10 to midnight. She had the cord around her neck, which may have been the cause of her distress, but we didn't know whether the risk of scar rupture may have contributed. Better to be safe than sorry. Pushing whilst under a spinal is a bit of a weird experience, and I felt both relieved that the pain had stopped, and oddly detached from the actual birthing experience. However, that is no matter. In fact, my first bowel movements since have felt more like giving birth than giving birth did!

We both got home the next day, and she has been a joy to have around. She is showing signs of reflux, which I hope won't worsen, and is coping well with it. Although, saying that, she was up ALL NIGHT last night with reflux and windy belly but it may just be due to my milk coming in. Episiotomy stitches are far easier to deal with than c-section ones and I'm feeling so much better than I was even months after DD1's birth.

I am so chuffed to have managed to go into labour myself, and to have dealt with 'active' labour unknowingly with just breathing and TENS. The breathing really does help, but it is hard to persuade yourself that it will help sometimes when your instincts are to breathe out tensely. The candle flicker image helped remind me that I wasn't doing it right most of the time!

I don't think I'll ever know why I had odd, irregular contractions that were worse horizontally, but I'm curious to find out if it happens again next time. Having had another girl (especially one so quiet), I think I may have permission to try again in the future!

Hope you are all doing well, will catch up proper soon.

Fruitpastels · 26/11/2009 19:30

Ursi I have the medela Swing breast pump. I have used it twice. Firstly when I was engorged and needed to let some milk out, and I used it again last night. I highly recommend as have found it so easy to use. There are 2 types of medela pump, the 'swing' is more expensive, about double the cost. Not sure how well the cheaper one would work. I used mine when DS was on one breast and I pumped from the other and it worked really well. I used the hand Avent pump when I was engorged with DS1 and I never got on with it and now using the medela it's been a much better experience. Hope that helps

maman2tom · 26/11/2009 19:34

Congratulations Hobnob your VBAC sounds just like mine! (although without the contractions as i was induced) One word of warning don't do too much if the episo doesn't hurt now. I was running around from day 1 and by about day 5/6 was in absolute agony. MW said that women who had a previous c-section get caught out as you feel fine to begin with! She suggested lots of rest and getting dp to run around for me...can't be bad advise!

scarlotti · 26/11/2009 20:48

Ursi I have a hand pump which is great, it's the closer to nature range from tommee tippee. I can express 120ml in about 5 mins and I like having the control of how strong the pull from the pump is. I have borrowed a Medela electric one from a friend and used it last night - I found it not as effective and it made my nipple quite sore. Personally I'll be sticking with the hand pump.
You can borrow them from midwives/health visitors through the sure start centres. It might be worth seeing if you can do that to try out different options before you invest in one.
My hand pump was £13 from mothercare in the sale so not a huge outlay.

hobnob great birth story and glad you got your vbac.

Piles are an issue here too midwife said to buy some cream.

Is anyone trying to start any sort of routine yet? Not sure whether I should be thinking of a bedtime routine to try and get some sense of normality going on. I like the cuddling in front of the tv until we go up around 9:30/10 but realise that this is only going to cause problems later if we carry it on.

Comma2 · 26/11/2009 23:47

sorry just quickly: me stitches feel really weird, lik there is pressure from the inside onthem....anybody has that too? almost14 days..

Tamlin · 27/11/2009 09:17

Can't remember who was asking about green poo, but it means baby's getting a lot of foremilk (the watery whey-like stuff at the start) and not enough hindmilk (fatty buttery stuff at the end). Try expressing a bit before you put them on.

Popped on to see if there was an update from Katster, but no?! Well done to Hobnob anyway, sounds as if you narrowly avoided another section!

We went to London on Wednesday to register Arthur as a US citizen born abroad. Unfortunately, both parents have to go. I thought I'd be okay as Arthur will be six weeks on Sunday, and so I carried him in the ring sling (which is brilliant for secretly breastfeeding - actually breastfed him on two different Tube trains and while walking from one line to another!!!) However, after we got up the stairs from Marble Arch, I had an unpleasantly familiar barbed-wire-pulling sensation along the incision wound, and it just got worse and worse. Sitting in the Embassy for four hours was achy, but walking or standing up hurt like hell, and stairs were extremely nasty, even with me hobbling along and holding the wound site - it was the longest trip home. I stopped at Paddington to check the scar, and while it wasn't oozing (thank God) it was looking a lot redder and nastier than it has, and the area around it was hugely swollen. I'm guessing I've torn some of the healing muscles underneath the skin.

Spent all of yesterday lying down and taking pills while DH worked from home and periodically emerged to wrangle DS. Trying to rest today as much as he'll let me. I cannot believe how bloody awful childbirth is - vaginal or CS, there does not seem to be a good way to get them out. Take note, CS girls, do not push it even if you feel fine.

BeckyBendyLegs · 27/11/2009 09:18

Morning all! How are you all today? Bright and breezy? Hmmm. Toby had a good chunk of sleep early in the night, which was wonderful, but has been unsettled since 4am. So I am a bit fuzzy today. He's asleep in the pushchair now but for how long? I put him down earlier this morning in his basket and thought 'oooh oooh I can risk a bath' and as soon as I had got in it 'waa, waaa, waaaaa, WAAAAAAA!' So DH took him with the DSs to school! Oh the joys...

Katster should be here soon I hope

Shortly followed by Pavlov. Only three days of November to go!

BeckyBendyLegs · 27/11/2009 09:21

Oh Tamlin just read your post. Poor you. Do take it easy as much as you can...

Fancy being able to feed while walking between tubes though - v. impressed!!! My efforts at breast feeding were military operations involving the right chair, the right number of cushions, the TV remote, something to grip onto to see me through the first few seconds, etc.

scarlotti · 27/11/2009 09:36

Tamlin you poor thing, are you feeling a bit better today? Do take it easy (easier said than done when looking after other DC's I know) Good you got him registered though - will he be a dual citizen then?
How do you feed in a ring sling? I have the close baby sling, but he seems to upright to be able to feed. Maybe I should watch the dvd again and see if it gives a feeding position.
I fed in BHS yesterday and luckily he only had a 10 min snack as I was so bent wrongly I couldn't have managed much longer!

Ioan was a star last night, slept from 10:45 until 3, then 4 to 7:30 - hoorah!

Anyone got any tips for fussy latchers? It takes a while for me to get him on as he's so impatient. Then after 10 mins he falls asleep and it takes ages again to wake him and get him back on for more.
Any hints gratefully recieved!

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