NOV 09 - once the lights are out and the last baby has arrived safe and fine, see you here on cloud nine!

[Broodzilla]

I've just realized we're now under the "being a parent" header. I've got stage freight!

Hi all, just popping in quickly, been having a rubbish week as Henry is poorly, we've been in and out of hospital and still no one will say what is wrong

has everyone moved over now? Hopefully next week I will have chance to catch up, hope you are all well.

Scarlotti yes..you can buy lots on ITunes. If you like Stephen Fry and Harry Potter I recommend them..they are awesome..
as for skiing, well I intend to ask for lots in return, no point in stopping him. IT will end up in resentment.

Tigger big hug to you - what are his symptoms? Don't they have any idea at all?

I'm not sure if we have any November 09 babies left do we?

Tigger big hugs! We're all thinking of you and sending you all the vibes we can.
Becky What a lovely letter to get!

We're having a very non-eventful day. Lukas has spent all day eating and sleeping and I've been researching co-sleeping. There must be a tiny bit of brain left in there somewhere as I got fed up with the fence-sitting advice and dug up some proper academic research.

DH has gone xmas shopping so quiet night in store for us.

Sorry to hear Henry is poorly, tigger Hope you get some answers soon.

Brood I'd be curious to hear what you dig up on co-sleeping. I know LO likes to sleep with me in our bed but it's small and DH thrashes quite a bit so I only dare do it while I'm awake or after he gets up to get ready for work in the morning. She was fine with her cot the first week but lately... not so much.

Just popping in to say Hi. I am s-l-o-w-l-y making my way over here but I haven't read any of this thread yet so need to find a few days somewhere to do that and catch up on what's been going on!

tigger I'm sorry to hear Henry isn't well and really hope he gets better and you get some advice soon {hugs}

James is 1 week old today. I'm tired. Hanging on til bedtime...

I've not had much change to catch up properly either, but wanted to say that I hope Henry gets better soon Tigger and you get some answers.

Sorry you had a bad night, and day BBL and hope things are better tonight.

When I'm bf'ing, I usually end up playing solitaire on my phone - rather dull and sad, but better than nothing!!

Walked to the council offices today to register Leah's birth. Really shouldn't have walked as getting home was hell on earth! It hurt so much! Still, I managed it and hopefully building up some strength in my pelvis! Picked dd up from school and she is 'star of the week' - (proud mum emotion). Apparently she got it for 'super concentration'! Concentration was the area she needed to improve on at parents evening so am really pleased that she is trying so hard! The 'elves' got her an extra special treat for the advent calender today which was lucky!!!

tigger big hugs and hope Henry gets better..poor you both

bbl southern what proud mums you must be

tigger hope Henry is better soon

BBL and Laugs hoping you have a better night with more sleep tonight.

Miffed at dh again here, he rang around 4pm and asked how we were - told him DS1 still ill and Ioan had been crying for ages so might be coming down with something too. His response ... to ask if it's ok to go for beers after work Do I have to spell it out that if the kids are fractious then I'd prefer to have a hand to get tea and bedtime done?
He kept saying that he was asking so if I didn't want him to go ... are men so thick that they need to be told not to go? Surely it's not that difficult to listen to your wife and understand that you are needed.
Am sure part of it is at him having a social engagement to go to and other adults around all day to speak to.
Am starting to feel as though nobody gives a damn about how I feel, or anything I've got to say (well, apart from you lovely ladies who save my sanity daily)
Dh doesn't think to speak to me about stuff - he comes home, we watch tv and then I'll get a bit of 'I miss you' when we go to seperate bedrooms. Maybe I'll spell it out tonight that I need some interaction of the mental kind!

Oh Scarlotti I'm totally with you. Men just DO NOT GET IT! In all fairness, I suppose I'm quite lucky in that dh hasn't been off out galivanting or anything but he does have to go away with work quite frequently and I do find it hard.

Last night, when I was up with Leah in the night and had just had 4 hours sleep (and broken sleep at that) all night he kindly says that he would get up with dd1 IF she got up later than 6am! I did, in a rather stroppy voice, suggest that the fact that I would then have to get up if (and likely) to get up before 6am would mean I got even LESS sleep anyway. ARRRGGGHHHHHHH!!! Anyway, it's his turn to get up with her in the morning and I'm going to make the most of it! I keep Leah with me in the room as I need to feed her, but at least we can sleep together in the bed having cuddles if she won't settle and not have to rush up!

Big hugs to you scarlotti, men can be sooo frustrating sometimes-well, alot of the time actually! I can believe he asked if he could go out after you told him the dcs weren't well . I don't think they realise how hard it is being at home all day, day in day out, with children. You would love to swap roles with them just for a week so they can see how difficult and lonely it can be.

Do you have any family or friends nearby who could help out? Maybe, give you and dh some time to spend together, even if it is just in another room in the house with the door closed for an hour or so away from dcs?? Making an effort is the last thing you feel like doing when you are exhausted, but it may do you the world of good. (As I am writing this, am thinking I need to take some of my own advice and do the same!!)

Ds is staying with bil tonight so dh and I might actually get to have a full, uninterrupted conversation tonight. I know we will probably end up just talking about the kids but anyway! I am also going to have my first glass of wine since Anya was born, which I am very excited about- how sad .

tigger, I hope they can soon tell you what Henry is having and that he is getting better soon.

scarlotti, you have to understand, he needs some time for himself too! .
We are having guests for lunch on sunday (and I am looking forward to it), after that my husband wanted to go to the pub to watch Liverpool against Arsenal with at least one of the guests. So I said, that I could understand it was an important match but that I was really hoping that he could stay at home and watch it in the internet as I would need a break. He said, it would "probably be possible". Today he told me that he had already told his friend that THEY would probably need to watch the game on the laptop . I then had to explain him that I hadn't wanted him to watch it at home with his friends (probably drinking beer) because I wanted him to watch Paula and give me some time out. To cut the long story short, we should never forget that we have to explain everything to men. Lets just try to do a better job with our sons!

Southern I had a similar offer from dh last night. We didn't get to bed until 11 (mega late for us these days) and he said he would do the next feed if she woke before 1am. So, Anya stirs at, I kid you not, 3 minutes past 1, and I have to get up to feed her. He didn't even offer to do it, he just lifted her out of the moses basket and said "Honey, she's looking for a feed". I was so annoyed and he knew it because when I came back into the room after the feed I completely ignored his "Are you OK" comments- Of course I'm not okay , stupid question!

In an attempt to redeem himself he has agreed to do all night feeds tonight and tomorrow night Although, it could also have something to do with the fact that he wants to go to watch the football on Sunday

I was just reading posts, with dearest reuben just settled off after a huge feed of 2 lots of bf. He was quiet after a few gruntles, then DH comes in from shops, crash, bang, door slam, and he stirs. DH comes into the bedroom and I said 'you were a bit noisy' and he said what? oh right yeah sure, like I woke him up from that far away, humf' and walks off slamming the bedroom door in a huff...so the stirring of DS has turned into him now crying .

Sorry for the barging in moaning but AAAARGH.

It's day 2 without DH and I'm totally exhausted. I'm finding evening times the most difficult. Getting DS1 fed, washed, bed, whilst DS2 wants to feed or cry. There is a new routine of crying, feeding and soothing for a couple of hours each evening and falls asleep around 9pm. I had to eat my dinner standing up as I was fed up with sitting down and then getting back up again!

So, went for the top up of formula last night. Was really looking forward to having more than 2hrs of broken sleep, but it didn't happen At midnight the bottle went down pretty well but he didn't take it all. Straight off to sleep - zonked! I crawl in to bed and I don't think bed had ever felt so good! 1.30am I hear noises coming from the cot. He is wide awake! I ended up being awake for most of the night, comforting, feeding and changing nappies. At 5am we had projectile vomit all of my bed. So had to change the sheets . Luckily I had MIL come to visit today and I caught an hour of sleep. I'm hoping tonight goes better as the last few nights have been so rough. I've never felt so tired in my life!!

I am now off to bed and I will catch up with the posts tomorrow. Night all

oh fruit how long is he way for again?

Re: talking books - My DH is a member of an online book club called Audible, he downloads several books a month from it, pays a monthly subscription. He actually shares it with his brother in USA but I am sure it is not american only...he downloads straight to his Ipod (and has his ear permanently attached to it)

Why is it that sleeping on their front is meant to be so bad for babies yet it is clearly so comfortable? I have just prised Reuben off my chest where he was lying face down, clearly babies are designed to sleep on mamas not in cots. He head fitted neatly into the crook of my neck, his arms gently cuddling my boobs, his body curled around my boobs and his feet tucked under. A perfect fit. And then, I transferred him to his moses basket, where his feet are scrunched in a ball tucked towards his chest, his arms are by his ears like a boxer and his head is to one side...it is clearly nowhere near as comfy as my chest....

...but i must not give in. Last night I spent all night asleep with him on my chest as it was so lovely but i hardly slept!

Awww, Pavlov your last post made me laugh and cry... They love sleeping on their mamas, don't they? (I also love it, secretly.) Lukas likes to either sleep with his head on my neck as you descibed, or using my boobs as pillows (handy,because he doesn't even have to flip pillows like we do, just changes the boob if he gets hot!) just incase it wasn't a rhetorical question - they shouldn't sleep on their bellies because it sends them in too deep a sleep, and as they regularly get pauses in breathing some little ones struggle to wake themselves up to breathe if they're sleeping on their bellies. (hence a 3xincreased risk of the unmentionable...) BUT if they sleep on their mamas our breathing reminds them to breathe. Sweet, huh?

Scarlotti and everyone else with rubbish DHs... that's the thing that really irks me... WHY do they have to "ask for permission" to go out/not come home? It puts the onus on us. So, if we tell them the kid(s) are being difficult, and that they're needed at home then it's OUR "fault" they have to change their plans, iyswim? We become the ball and chain, rather than co-parents. (Same reason why I hate having to point out that a poopey nappy needs to be changed/head needs to be supported/carseat buckled... It makes me the one giving orders, and it makes me feel like I'm the parent and he's my assistant. And then he gets fed up with my nagging...)

Anyway, must get back to sleep... I fell asleep doing the 8PM feed and have just been downstairs to wash/brush teeth and get some water. The little man in my bed is snoring away, smacking his chops in his sleep.

Will report on the co-sleeping tomorrow, I actually wrote down some stats ...

I hope you're all sleeping peacefully.

Also, meant to say Fruit hang in there, I hope your DH is back soon, and I'm glad MILs have their uses.

Ugh, poor Fruit and scarlotti and Tiger and all others! It's hard, isn't it, I cried most of yesterday as felt (feel) like mad crap mother messing up my beautiful children.

dd did a gigantic burp today, then said loud and clear 'nice' . On top of everything will have to watch sarcasm and language now as suspect she also said f* and scks, but could also be other things she's trying to say. Oh dam. Where to find the brain-power.

Morning.
Fruit I hope you got some sleep and that your husband will soon be back and take over (well, at least partly)
No comment on those husbands, Broodzilla, you've pointed the problem out. I really hate that attitude!
I woke mine up for each nappy change tonight (and he is not complaining about it). I hope he will understand a bit better the lack of sleep if you wake up several times at night.
Comma LOL at your dd. And I've noticed myself that I should start avoiding certain words.

I've already mentioned that Paula is taking bigger portions now but yesterday evening was really mad. I fed her at 4pm yesterday, after a really long walk. Then from 5.30 until 9 more or less without a break (just nappy change, burping, walking around a little bit trying to find some distraction for her which didn't work at all). And the way she latched on was quite agressive. I was slightly scared of this baby lion in my arms. Finally she fell asleep, we brought her to bed and it lasted about half an hour. I fed her again and we went to bed together at 10pm. She then woke up twice for feeding, the third time my husband picked her up and I just fell asleep so I suppose she was happy with him just cuddeling her. I swear, I was close to fainting. I felt so empty and weak.
At night she woke up as many times as usual but only wanted to drink a little bit. So, this enormous cluster feeding did not even end in longer intervals for me.
Anyway, weekend is here and I will have some help from my husband so hopefully I'll be able to enjoy that.
And hopefully everybody else on here will get some support and rest.

I think DHs have to understand that for these few months, which is a REALLY SHORT PERIOD OF OUR LIVES, we need them more and we, as well as they, have put our social lives on hold. Things will get better and they will be able to go out again... I'm feeling it too. My friends all have older children and they are going to cinema, going out, doing fun stuff whereas I'm not joining them. My DH has been good so far, he's very busy at work but has been coming home for 5.30pm, bless him. But last night he watched a film on TV and went to bed at midnight! Luckily we had a good night with Toby!!!!

Toby is now having his first nap already - been up an hour and tired already. Sigh. What a hard life. Life is just one long cycle of feed and sleep and cuddle and feed and cuddle and sleep...

I love the feeling of him sleeping on my chest too and I was worried about the unmentionable but feel reassured about the regulating breathing thing as I wasn't sure. I love the little sighs they make and the smell of him, there must be something that makes our own babies smell so divine to us.

We're going to get our Christmas tree today - at some point! Not sure when.

On the front sleeping thing: I was put on my front to sleep as a baby as I wouldn't sleep any other way but in those days there was no SIDS guidelines. I still sleep on my front. It isn't really natural to sleep flat on your back, is it? Most people sleep on their sides I think.

brood Reuben likes to sleep with his head on my boobs sometimes too! He will cry like he is hungry, be offered milk, and just rest his head against my boob and fall asleep in that 'i don't want it now but when i do, i know its close by' kind of way. He reminds me of an old man in the pub asleep with head on table, hand around his whisky glass protectively in case someone takes it away .

Do any other babies roll from the shoulder as if trying to get to the boob? DD did it and now DS does it too, he rolls himself over and off me and shuffles his head down towards my breast, and if on DH does it to him looking for milk!!!

I am so loving this being a mum to two. DD is very hard work, but is also tired a lot, so that is not helping, we are needing to get her to bed earlier for some reason. BUT, she is great with Reuben, she is lovely and kind and wants to help, and play, and calls me when he is crying for milk, and Reuben is a joy. Even feeding 2 hourly through the night which is wiping me out is ok, as he is such a happy boy.

I am sure he has smiled. Not the huge windy smile, but a proper descreet, i know you smile. But everyone says oh no too early. I say 'rubbish' .

On the subject of DHs - I really also dislike the having to ask for help, or give permission for them to do something. Like, make a decision, and deal with the wrath of sleep deprived mother the consequences of those decisions, ie 'i am going out' or 'i am going to stay in and help with the kids'. As someone else said, if we are asked, and we say no, it makes us the bad guys. I hate it when DH says to his friends 'i have to ask pavlov' and then I say i am not happy, and his friends are like 'under the thumb mate' when he knows if he has to ask me, if means he already knows i will mind so he could just say 'no' to them. Or else he gets shitty that i mind, and then i say 'yes' when i mean 'no' as I am sick of being the big bad meany thatsays no, or bags all the time to do something. If he just did it, he would not need to be asked.