Dec 08 babies are nearly one - PARTY TIME!

[EffiePerine]

As I accidentally filled up the old thread I thought I'd better start a new one

hello
I have a very dodgy internet connection at the mo so forgive me for writing several short posts rather than a long one - if I keep them short it's less frustrating when I lose them!

wg what is your dh like in matters not relating to Madam - is he a worrier or a risk taker? I do think you are likely to feel more confident as you spend more time with Madam, but when I read your post I did think back to those early days when you were concerned about your dh possibly having some level of PND. I'm not trying to imply that that is still an issue, but I think anxiety can creep in more easily when you have had a 'difficult' phase (whether it be depression, other mental illness, low mood, stress...). I know from my experience that even when my mood was on the up, my anxieties persisted for some time. I'm not sure if I'm making sense, or even saying what I want to say here, but I just have a 'go easy on him' kind of thought. His jokes about brain damage are probably just a cover for his genuine worries, which I'm sure will lessen over time. You've both gone through such massive changes over the past year, and in the great scheme of life that's not a huge amount of time. I'm sure he will become more confident - as you have (remember your concern over your lack of 'instinct'?). Sorry to sound all sensible and boring - I'm sure someone will come along and see the lighter side - tell you that all blokes are the same over their daughters and that you should ignore him or give him a kick up the bum - and perhaps that's right. I don't know - I just couldn't read your post and not respond with my gut feeling.
And on Christmas...do whatever you like! I suggested last weekend that we shouldn't have a tree this year on the basis that P is EVERYWHERE and grabs everything in sight and it would just be too much hard work. However Lucy was completely distraught by that suggestion so we have a tree up .

ooh that wasn't short was it? Glad it worked
Sorry to hear of all the nasty coughs and bugs. P is still a Snotmeister but isn't unwell with it at all.
Katie - I think you are amazing for what you are planning at Christmas and hope you have a fabulous time.
veggie like the new name! You've made me want a mince pie now I went to another case conference today and I thought of you - in fact you inspired me. The three people prior to me all voted to de-register and I disagreed. I was so nervous but I remembered your post and so i voted to remain registered. Then some more agreed with me and the outcome was to stay registered. It was so uncomfortable but I had the Power of Veggie in me
DH is in a grump because some piece of techno stuff (no idea what it is!) isn't working as it should.
My CPN is coming again tomorrow...I'll let you know how it goes

Evening all! DD has her first settling in session at nursery tomorrow, wish us luck..!

WG Not sure re cold rooms/nights, was going to ask that myself as we're at the in-laws for Christmas and their house is always freezing!
DH is being very risk adverse with DD at the moment but that's only since he tipped her pram upside down and bashed her nose I think I'd rather he was a bit more careful...

Oh must MUST send my secret santa pressie...

re- frigid houses, DS2 is currently in sleeping bag plus blanket. DS1 has a hot water bottle, but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to use them with younger children. Might be an idea for pre-heating the cot if the room is v cold.

Wow Trace I'm so proud of you!!!! It took me 4-5 conferences before I felt so bolshie, that is just fantastic, you've made a difference for that child and family you know.

WG DH isn't as cautious as waitingboy but are some things which I wish he would chill about. At city farms he will suddenly pull DS1 back if he gets 'too close' to the pens where as I let him get as close as he wants, it's not like the animals are going to jump the fence, and it can make DS1 fear the animals if he sees his dad worried about him being near them. He also constantly wipes him while he's eating if he looks a tiny bit messy, whereas I will leave him til he's finished eating. I have to say I have spoken with him about it, but gently and explained why I don't do the things he does.

I love Christmas but before DS1 came along we didn't do much decorating. Now we do it, and as Trace said you kind of have to when their bigger. So if your not keen I would def leave it another year. But I would leave that question inside this thread, don't ask on the other threads, Katie has already been burnt by that this week.

Will be thinking of you and babypanda, tomorrow Kiwipanda. Let us know how it goes.

Of course we want to know how things go with the CNP Trace, how are things with Lucy? I guess she is getting excited about christmas. DS1 has been getting a bit stroppy and back chatting lately. I don't know if it's a age thing or due to the move. He is still his usual lovely self most of the time but every now and then he's a bit bloody cheeky. I think I've been a bit hard on him occasionally lately (esp yesterday) but I think he is at that age that all his hormones are going a bit crazy.

Oh and Tracey there is a mince pie recipe featured on here. I've never made mince pies only bought them but my nan used to make them so I think I should give it a go. Also they don't sell ready made Yorkshire puddings over here anyone know a good recipe?

hello!
WG other way round re DH in this house. He is is quite rough with DS. But then I have a DS so that may confirm your theory. We also have our other differences re childcare but I won't bore you with them!
I would not bother with Xmas decs also but DH would forbid it. We have a massive tree.

kiwi good luck with nursery tomorrow.

trace good luck with CPN and well done on case conference (even though I don't understand what it is!)

veggie I think key to yorkshire puds is to get the fat in the tin for the puds really really hot in the oven first. I have never made them well though, but only tried once with MIL (obviously she would not allow me to follow the recipe and kept flapping), and my Dad is the worlds expert on Yorkshire puds, I don't often have them execpt at home. Otherwise the recipe is just batter. I think good old Delia has one.

Hi

Good luck for tomorrow, Trace and Kiwi.

WG, I have the same problem here, and my DH has tendencies towards anxiety. For my DH, it got better once DS1 was able to communicate, could walk and start talking. DH has been much more confident with DS2 but he is still more anxious than I am. I have to remind him not to do a risk assesment on everything all the time otherwise the kids will grow up thinking that everything is more dangerous than it actually is IYSWIM. My parents were pretty neglectful by his standards

We've done some decorations this year but I think if you have older ones at school/nursery, you are more obliged to do it. The tree in DS1's room went up at the end of November, when we put ours up on Sunday, DS1 said "Its Christmas at home now !" When I was a child we used to collect evergreens and make our own decorations every year and the smell really takes me back so we get a bit crafty at this time of year. Fortunately DS1 loves this. The tree has had to be corralled in a corner of the room so DS2 doesnt attack it though

BTW Katie, I dont think you are being unreasonable, sounds like it would be a lovely day. I would pay ot not have to cook or organise anything...

Oops I've accidentally hidden this thread from my active threads, stupid Itouch and it's touchy link thing. Does anyone know how to unhide?

Morning,

Veggie You need to go into 'Customise' at the top of the page. At the bottom of the Customise page it has an area about hidden threads. I did the same a few weeks ago and I was in a huge panic!

Sorry I've not been about, long shifts at work and I feel terrible. I have a horrible sore throat and I haven't slept well in the last 2 nights.

I will be back when I feel a little more human.

Hope everyone is well.

Hi girls

It's SO cold and frosty today. Matthew has gone to nursery in his reindeer costume as it's really warm and cosy. I am missing him hugely at the moment, even though he'll be back at 5. Still, 2 lovey weeks with him beckon

Kayz, you poor thing being ill again. Do you think you could be a bit run down? Hope you feel better soon.

Must do my Secret Santa today. When is the last posting date for Christmas?

Will be back on once I've done some work. Am avoiding it but have only 2 hours til I pick up Lucy so need to get cracking.

Love to all.

WG - Will message you separately on facebook with the carpentry details so as not to bore everyone on here.

On the DH thing, I know that when DD was tiny, DH was much more nervous about handling her and about what she got upto than I was, but that wore off as he had to deal with her more when I went back to work, so I think part of it is a familiarity thing. If you regularly deal with a rampaging soon to be toddler, you quickly figure out you can't wrap them in cotton wool!

Kiwi - good luck with settling in. Hope return to work is going well - I saw some of your stuff the other week!

Oh, and effie glad you enjoyed the interview - its actually half the battle if you're having fun. And you never know what it means if they take their time having fun. I know when we recruited someone onto our team, it took months for my boss to come back to him after the interview - the guy was sure it had all died. I'm still trundling along with this application I interviewed a while ago - I've had to write a business plan, which was kind of scary, especially having no time to do it, so ended up writing gobbledygook in the early hours of the morning.

trace - of course we want to keep hearing how you're doing! Glad you're sounding a bit brighter anyway - bolshiness at work is very impressive!

katie - totally understand your Xmas dilemma and don't think its at all unreasonable given the history. In fact, just last night I was having a chat with my mum about how we can spread the burden of family get togethers - we go to my parents every sunday (because the venue suits them) and my mother ends up cooking and shopping for themselves, all of us and my sister's family, which is plenty of people. If we shared it round it would be fair, but as we don't it isn't really, so have been thinking about chipping in or at least all bringing things so my mum doesn't have to do all the work.

Thanks TIH: have resigned myself to it now and may be a bit panicked if they actually offer! It was good practice as I haven't been to an interview in over 10 years (gulp).

Trace: hope your appt with the CPN goes well ttoday .

Kiwi: DH is far more careful than I am and we have 2 boys! I do admit to being a bit casual at times. I think you both have to work out your own methods, as long as there's no personal criticism involved (so I'd be happy with DH doing things differently but not with him saying I was being negligent IYSWIM)

Hello all, just a quick one (as ever ) as a)there are strrings and b) my keyoard's buggered and trying to go back and fill in the missing leters drives me roun the bendI' sure you'll get the idea!

firstly, belated happy birthdays to JK, Matilda, Dylan and P and wll don mummies for gettin this far

PD hope you're on te med from your op, and getting a bit of rest.

kayz tha sleep thing is hilarious and sadly true I'm sure!

daisy love hugsto you an DH, not sure what o say other han we're all thinking of yourMIL and sendin prayers/basketvibes for you al.

NJAN same for you, it's been such a tough year.Some great advic as ever, it sounds as if counsellng could relly help. My mumdied when I was little and I did hve some couselor to do wth another issue when I was a student and a ot of the grief came out thn, the counsellor just encouraged me to talk about everything that was making e sad and that turnd out o be reallya big part of it that I'd not acknowleded fully.

kiwi hope dd's ver the bonked nose now! and that the nursery goes really well. Remeberthe all take a while to settle so day one may nt be a big party but she will get used to the new place and new people with time.

vggie your poor nan, what a sad end

urbane golly, you poor hing having Christmas be ful of difficlt memories - hope this one is muc better for youall. How lovely to gback to the childrens' ward, yousweetheart.

gah she's stirring, quickl then WG DH is the one who flings ddaround in this house, I think because he's seen so many babishe know that they're bascally sturdy littlethings and like adventure- and tracespeas a lot of sense as well.
right mustrescue shouty nper, she hd a jab this mornng so neds more cuddles - hello to Invis, Efie, sybil, SL an everyone elsetoo

Hello everyone,

daisy re increasing water consumption - DD loves her nuby cup, it has a big soft teat and will drink loads out of it. It is labeled Tommy Tippee but is branded nuby on the cup.

veggie SL is right about the hot, hot fat being the secret to good yorkshire puds. It is the same recipe as for pancakes - I can dig one out if you like.

WG DH plays all sorts of vigorous, tipping upside down games with DD. He used to treat her like a delicate flower but not any more. Your DH sounds generally anxious about DD, worrying about her room temp etc. Maybe he is anxious generally and protecting DD is part of it?

urbane I think that is lovely of you returning to the children's ward, especially as it will bring up difficult memories.

kiwi Hope the nursery visit went well!

Well DD had a lovely birthday yesterday. She has a streaming cold but was cheerful and pleased to see everyone.

Must get back to work. Back soon....

Morning all. Back from nursery - DD was fine when I left her (I had a go-through-routine session thing so that was the first 40 minutes) but crying when I came back, though incredibly she actually went to sleep on the lap of one of the assistants, which she has NEVER done to me . She was up really early this morning so must have been tired.

I probably should have left her some milk as I think she was really hungry (she didn't eat much lunch apparently). I wasn't quite sure how long she'd been upset for, I don't know that they'd tell me if it was ages?!

I almost cried when I picked her up, I hate seeing her cry with someone else when she obviously just wanted mummy. I know she'll get used to it but it was a bit of a shock because I think I've been a bit blase about it and somehow assumed it'd be absolutely fine from the word go, which is clearly a bit unrealistic! She's never spent time with ANYONE other than me or DH (grandparents included) so it's obviously going to take a while.. it's just.. oh you know. Maternal guilt...

/end of ME ME ME post. I'm going to see my friends 1 week old baby this afternoon. Wonder if it'll make me feel broody?! I doubt it.. SO not ready to think of number 2 yet!

Sorry you're having a tough time settling DD, Kiwi . It does take time for them to get used to a new environment, nursery is after all v different from home. Maybe give it a few sessions? I know JJ has had issues with settling her DD as well so may be able to give better advice

Hello girls,

Guuuurrrrrr, I am really behind and have only skimmed so will be on later or tomorrow to catch up, but I seem to have been crazy busy with typing/London/my Mum's for a few days, then I am going back up there tomorrow to see my nephew in a play then on to the MIL's for the weekend....Anyway, Monday was my deadline for typing up my book (set by me but I do need to stick to it if poss) but just wanted to fly on and wave and say happy birthday to the little ones I have missed and to tell you I am thinking of you all particularly as this time of year inevitably makes me think of last (Urbane, I was thinking about your DD and all that bad stuff only the other day).

Hope you are all comparatively festive and fine. DP has finally bought a tree - yay! Haven't got time to decorate it at the mo, unfortunately....

I meant next Monday is my deadline. I am hoping to tuck myself away with the laptop at the weekend at the MIL's. We shall see how that pans out

Hello all,

kayz hope you are soon feeling better

kiwi No advice on how long it might take DD to settle in nursery but I am sorry you are having to worry about it. And don't feel guilty (easier said than done) she will settle eventually.

ladyt Good luck with the deadline, I hope you get it all done and on time. You need to get into 'the zone' and go for it!

trace I always want to know how you are getting on hope today went well with the CPN

wg DH was very cautious with DD, but now much more relaxed with DS. NOt sure if that is a girl/boy thing or just that he is more relaxed with it being his second time around.

Who mentioned sleep atire??? Well after a couple of nights of no heating we have had DS in socks, vest, sleepsuit, cardigan and then 2.5 tog sleeping bag. I have thrown a blanket over him when we have gone to bed but he has usually wriggled out of it by morning. Anyway the upshot was that his hands were a bit chilly in the morning but the rest of him seemed quite warm HTH!

We have had more boiler trouble, anyway it should now be fixed [hopeful emotion]. But as usual it was the expensive bit that went...why is it never a cheap part that breaks??

I finish work tomorrow for 2 weeks which I am so looking forward to (I know I've only been back working for 3 weeks). But I have DD's carol concert tomorow afternoon at preschool, Friday night DD has a Christmas party at a soft play place with some of her little chums, and the Sunday we are off to watch a Cinderella Pantomine!!! So I am starting to feel really festive, althoughg typing that has made me realise my DD has a much more hectic social life than I do

Hey ladies thanks for the tip on un-hiding this thread Kayz, all sorted now.

Effie I think you were talking about farts, we have a book a friend sent to DS1 called Walter the farting dog, it's hilarious.

Hi Lady, sending strengthening, nearly book finishing, White light to you.

Trace is amazing with the bolshiness in the meeting, basically it's a child protection meeting for kids on the child protection register and all the professionals, social services and the parents meet to discuss where things are at with the child and whatever the abuse was and how things are progressing (abuse isnt always physicl) and then in front of the parents the professionals have to vote whether to keep the child on the register. So she is really very brave.

Who is Indulcijumpilo?

Daisy LOL at DD having a busier social life.

I had a teary sweet moment today DS2 gave me look today of pure love, it was so beautiful, I love him so and to see him look back at me like that was just so lovely. He also then sat down between my legs and was touching my leg in this sweet almost possesive way. It looks like I have another little devoted man hooray. What more can a girl want than three boys to love her!

Oh and on the cough front DS1 started sounding like he was getting a bit of a cold and his dry cough had turned a bit moist now all of a sudden today his cough is almost gone, he seems to only cough when I mention that it has stopped then all of a sudden it magically returns

Well we popped over to our new home tonight, it completely unfurnished and I mean completely it has no light fittings. We have most of what we need coming over but we will need some lights and a wardrobe and something for the big tele to go on so we are off to Ikea on Friday afternoon. I'll have a look for a country style kitchen for you Lady.

So glad about your DS1's cough veggie. Indulcie is jump. You asked about yorkshire pudding. This recipe is from Jane Grigson's English Food - there was a yorkshire pudding contest in leeds in the 50s and a guy from a local chinese restaurant won it. Summer is right about the heat of the fat.

1/2 pt milk
4 eggs
Just under 1/2 tsp salt
Dash of pepper
1/2 tsp tai luk
1/2 lb plain flour, sifted

Pre-heat the oven to mark 8, 450 deg. F. Mix all the ingredients except the flour, beating well together. Let stand for 15 minutes, then beat in the flour. Heat dripping or oil in a roasting tin in the oven until smoking hot, then pour in the batter and cook for 20 minutes. Serves 4-6.

Your DH will know but tai luk is a made up thing - like elbow grease. But when I was growing up we didn't know this so spent lots of time in chinese supermarkets baffling people.

Kiwi I'm so sorry about your DD and nursery. Am sure she will get used to it. But awful for you in the meantime. It made me feel better to think that they don't have very many options in terms of emotional reaction to something at that age - and can't understand what's going on and that you are coming back. So they only learn from you showing them. And get it eventually. My maternal guilt of the week is that I missed DD's first proper steps - while I was at work yesterday.

Trace that is very brave. Am endlessly impressed that you have the strength to do that kind of thing. I couldn't do it.

Wg my parents live in really cold old house, so when DD is there I sometimes put her in a cardigan on top of the gro - and have also put mittens on her. They're not mean (honest) it's just that we're usually up at the top of the house and overnight it gets cold. DS though wasn't as bothered by the cold so he just had vest and gro. He now sleeps on top of the duvet whatever the temperature.

At home today. Going to sort Christmas presents and make mince pies I think. Am such a kid about Christmas. We have tree, decorations, christmas music . Am so looking forward to the 4 of us being able to hang out together all the time for nearly 2 weeks.